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PrintableTeacher said: I seem to be having a rare moment of....
I don't care cos I don't want a relationship, at my age I feel I'm way past just dating, but I DEFINITELY don't want to live with anybody else EVER, I want to do what I want when I want, and I want to have a dog and 3 cats in bed sleeping next to me.  
I am feeling that way now too. (Not about the cats and dogs  )
But I think I am happier WITHOUT men, or man in my life. Really, some ppl MUST be in a relationship, but I am happier doing what I want to do. Men can come later. Now, I have a "b/f" and I cant shake him off. He just wont leave me alone  Its funny though, he is sweet, but I just cant be ARSED! if sexy was a colour it would be red  | |
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applekisses said: Byron said: What kind of relationship are you letting go of, by the way??...Describe it.  hmmm... A comfortable place...where I can be me and he can be himself...a quiet place of open communication, honesty, friendship, sensuality and love. A relationship in which just existing is comforting...and in which I can share the world, lovingly, with my partner. That's the short of it And that's the type of relationship I described above...  ...I've felt that type of contentment when I'm alone and surrounded by nature...I felt it when with Tanys..  ...and I will feel it within an everyday relationship soon, that I know..
And you will, too... | |
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Byron said: applekisses said: hmmm... A comfortable place...where I can be me and he can be himself...a quiet place of open communication, honesty, friendship, sensuality and love. A relationship in which just existing is comforting...and in which I can share the world, lovingly, with my partner. That's the short of it And that's the type of relationship I described above... ...I've felt that type of contentment when I'm alone and surrounded by nature...I felt it when with Tanys.. ...and I will feel it within an everyday relationship soon, that I know..
And you will, too...  thank you for your confidence. But, I don't know if it's that simple. There are all sorts of factors at work.[Edited 9/8/04 0:50am] | |
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applekisses said: Byron said: And that's the type of relationship I described above... ...I've felt that type of contentment when I'm alone and surrounded by nature...I felt it when with Tanys.. ...and I will feel it within an everyday relationship soon, that I know..
And you will, too... thank you for your confidence. But, I don't know if it's that simple. There are all sorts of factors at work.
[Edited 9/8/04 0:50am] Check your orgnotes...  | |
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Byron said: applekisses said: thank you for your confidence. But, I don't know if it's that simple. There are all sorts of factors at work.
[Edited 9/8/04 0:50am] Check your orgnotes... You too!  | |
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CCII said:
Am I wrong for wanting a woman to throw me a life line?
CCII, here is the problem I think you are starting to identify. It is a problem that took me years to recognize. No woman can "rescue" you by "throwing you a life line." It is not the purpose of a relationship. Believe me, for years, I sought the company of a woman so that she and her love could validate my life. As I experienced rejection, deception and heartbreak, I increasingly sought out a woman for another purpose -- to "rescue" me from the hurt I experienced at the hands of other women. So I was at dual purposes in my romantic life -- I wanted to find love and wanted to find one to forget the love I had for others. At one point, after a particularly hurtful experience, I went into a long period of bitterness and jaded perspective. Partially because I hated being rejected by women I'd been so good to and so open with. And partially because I feared facing the depths of the hurt I had experienced. To make a long story short, that resulted in a lot of wasted time and it negatively affected me. So right now, I focus on two things. The first is to be honest about your feelings. It's hard to plumb the depths of your hurt feelings, your rejections, your loneliness. But you have to dig them out in order to truly progress. Don't let anyone set a timetable for how, when and where you deal with them. It's a tricky dance to recognize your past without letting it poison your future, but it has been a worthwhile exercise for me. Shoot, even the bad times toughened me in a good way. The second is to take control of your life. The phrase "love yourself first" sounds trite, but it involves a whole lot more. Embracing your interests, strengthening your family ties and friendships, being open to new experiences, etc. A woman is not a messiah. She will not make all things right. You have to right your own ship and set a good course for yourself. Hopefully that will cause you to meet that good woman along the way. Take this for what it's worth. I haven't had a girlfriend in years and I still have my own garden to tend to. But I recognize a lot of my "old" self in a lot of what you have to say and figured I'd share my thoughts with you.  Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016
Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder | |
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namepeace said: CCII said:
Am I wrong for wanting a woman to throw me a life line?
CCII, here is the problem I think you are starting to identify. It is a problem that took me years to recognize. No woman can "rescue" you by "throwing you a life line." It is not the purpose of a relationship. Believe me, for years, I sought the company of a woman so that she and her love could validate my life. As I experienced rejection, deception and heartbreak, I increasingly sought out a woman for another purpose -- to "rescue" me from the hurt I experienced at the hands of other women. So I was at dual purposes in my romantic life -- I wanted to find love and wanted to find one to forget the love I had for others. At one point, after a particularly hurtful experience, I went into a long period of bitterness and jaded perspective. Partially because I hated being rejected by women I'd been so good to and so open with. And partially because I feared facing the depths of the hurt I had experienced. To make a long story short, that resulted in a lot of wasted time and it negatively affected me. So right now, I focus on two things. The first is to be honest about your feelings. It's hard to plumb the depths of your hurt feelings, your rejections, your loneliness. But you have to dig them out in order to truly progress. Don't let anyone set a timetable for how, when and where you deal with them. It's a tricky dance to recognize your past without letting it poison your future, but it has been a worthwhile exercise for me. Shoot, even the bad times toughened me in a good way. The second is to take control of your life. The phrase "love yourself first" sounds trite, but it involves a whole lot more. Embracing your interests, strengthening your family ties and friendships, being open to new experiences, etc. A woman is not a messiah. She will not make all things right. You have to right your own ship and set a good course for yourself. Hopefully that will cause you to meet that good woman along the way. Take this for what it's worth. I haven't had a girlfriend in years and I still have my own garden to tend to. But I recognize a lot of my "old" self in a lot of what you have to say and figured I'd share my thoughts with you. I read this one twice. Thanks. | |
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namepeace said: CCII said:
Am I wrong for wanting a woman to throw me a life line?
CCII, here is the problem I think you are starting to identify. It is a problem that took me years to recognize. No woman can "rescue" you by "throwing you a life line." It is not the purpose of a relationship. Believe me, for years, I sought the company of a woman so that she and her love could validate my life. As I experienced rejection, deception and heartbreak, I increasingly sought out a woman for another purpose -- to "rescue" me from the hurt I experienced at the hands of other women. So I was at dual purposes in my romantic life -- I wanted to find love and wanted to find one to forget the love I had for others. At one point, after a particularly hurtful experience, I went into a long period of bitterness and jaded perspective. Partially because I hated being rejected by women I'd been so good to and so open with. And partially because I feared facing the depths of the hurt I had experienced. To make a long story short, that resulted in a lot of wasted time and it negatively affected me. So right now, I focus on two things. The first is to be honest about your feelings. It's hard to plumb the depths of your hurt feelings, your rejections, your loneliness. But you have to dig them out in order to truly progress. Don't let anyone set a timetable for how, when and where you deal with them. It's a tricky dance to recognize your past without letting it poison your future, but it has been a worthwhile exercise for me. Shoot, even the bad times toughened me in a good way. The second is to take control of your life. The phrase "love yourself first" sounds trite, but it involves a whole lot more. Embracing your interests, strengthening your family ties and friendships, being open to new experiences, etc. A woman is not a messiah. She will not make all things right. You have to right your own ship and set a good course for yourself. Hopefully that will cause you to meet that good woman along the way. Take this for what it's worth. I haven't had a girlfriend in years and I still have my own garden to tend to. But I recognize a lot of my "old" self in a lot of what you have to say and figured I'd share my thoughts with you. ..but damn, it's so nice to have a good woman. Will everything be alright? No, but the lil things a good woman in your life does makes everything just a lil bit easier. Unfortunately most of the good ones are taken (by assholes) or not interested. | |
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CCII said: namepeace said: CCII said:
CCII, here is the problem I think you are starting to identify. It is a problem that took me years to recognize. No woman can "rescue" you by "throwing you a life line." It is not the purpose of a relationship. Believe me, for years, I sought the company of a woman so that she and her love could validate my life. As I experienced rejection, deception and heartbreak, I increasingly sought out a woman for another purpose -- to "rescue" me from the hurt I experienced at the hands of other women. So I was at dual purposes in my romantic life -- I wanted to find love and wanted to find one to forget the love I had for others. At one point, after a particularly hurtful experience, I went into a long period of bitterness and jaded perspective. Partially because I hated being rejected by women I'd been so good to and so open with. And partially because I feared facing the depths of the hurt I had experienced. To make a long story short, that resulted in a lot of wasted time and it negatively affected me. So right now, I focus on two things. The first is to be honest about your feelings. It's hard to plumb the depths of your hurt feelings, your rejections, your loneliness. But you have to dig them out in order to truly progress. Don't let anyone set a timetable for how, when and where you deal with them. It's a tricky dance to recognize your past without letting it poison your future, but it has been a worthwhile exercise for me. Shoot, even the bad times toughened me in a good way. The second is to take control of your life. The phrase "love yourself first" sounds trite, but it involves a whole lot more. Embracing your interests, strengthening your family ties and friendships, being open to new experiences, etc. A woman is not a messiah. She will not make all things right. You have to right your own ship and set a good course for yourself. Hopefully that will cause you to meet that good woman along the way. Take this for what it's worth. I haven't had a girlfriend in years and I still have my own garden to tend to. But I recognize a lot of my "old" self in a lot of what you have to say and figured I'd share my thoughts with you. I read this one twice. Thanks. I'm sayin'! Dang, that was beautiful. | |
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hi [Edited 9/14/04 15:15pm] | |
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As Chris Rock said a few interesting things regarding this in his last HBO special. [Edited 9/13/04 19:29pm] | |
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CCII: More than happy to speak my clout if it will help you.
ThreadBare: Coming from you, the compliment is doubly satisfying. JoeyCoCo: U r right about the difference a woman can make. I love being with women, being around them, etc. If it seems that the "good" ones are taken by "assholes" then that's the politics, baby. I guess what I am learning is to not keep "looking" but to stay "alert." If it happens it happens, if it don't, then I guess that's pop life. Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016
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ThreadBare said: CCII said: I read this one twice. Thanks. I'm sayin'! Dang, that was beautiful. Yes... yes it is. Beautiful personal experience shared. 
I agree/understand. That is... to your words namepeace. [Edited 9/8/04 22:17pm] | |
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CCII said: Am I wrong for wanting a woman to throw me a life line?
i cant and wont tell anyone they are wrong i do see how most women would not be attracted to someone needing a life line | |
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CCII said: Feels like I'm hanging on a damn cliff. When love is great...it's great. When it's a bitch, I look for a woman's understanding. I'm trying so hard to not lose faith in a woman's passion. If I do, I'll start not caring about meaningful shit. Am I wrong for wanting a woman to throw me a life line?
I noticed myself becoming a recluse...from men anyway. But it's not a man's fault for what I have PUT myself in. My advise to you is to "dip out" for a minute and figure out what patterns you have and determine what you really want and develop the means of really getting what you need. That's what I'm doing anyway....No one likes a bitter woman... | |
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