I jumped off of my roof with 4 garbage bags in an attempt to parachute down like on GI Joe....The bags ripped and I fell to the ground and hit my head....For 2 weeks I thought I was Cobra Commander but thankfully I regained my memory...I only yell COBRA!! every once in a while....


When I was little I stole my friends favorite toy and buried it my yard out of spite.....All because this girl I liked really liked him and not me.... One day on the playground she kissed him on the lips and he ran around telling everyone. I found out a week later it was just a really femine little boy not a girl.....I gave him back his toy.....poor bastard

you were f*cked!

when i was little:

- i went on tv lots and got a lot of shit for that from my schoolfriends

- i went with others to the "conker field" behind school for fights once the day was over. luckily i was never involved in one which was really bad, but one guy was taken to hospital with a broken jaw and missing teeth. not that i was involved in that one, but i really regret that whole time hugely

- i got properly drunk for the first time at my eldest brother's 21st party at my house and made a complete fool of myself, at the grand age of 8.

When I was little my crazy uncle came in from California.....He told us while out there he became an agent and managed Spuds Mckinzie a dog from an old beer commercial.....He also believed evil spirits were around our bed and put cooking flower around the bed to ward of spirits....and he also used to tell me the song Rock Me Amadaeus would be sung in unison in the year 2002....After accidently stumbling into a gay bar in 2002 I learned my uncle was not crazy he was a prophet.....

Enough said... Good Night.

When I was little I fell asleep in the car after a fishing trip out at the lake.....I woke up and didn't recognize where we were and the car looked weird....I fell asleep under some blankets in the back of the station wagon so I climbed up to the front and asked my mom and dad where were we.....A white couple turned around and screamed.....It seems I got in the wrong station wagon.....But that is not why they were screaming....It was because a fish got stuck in my afro...

hans has told me when he was a young boy he used to tie bratwurst to his neck.

the dogs would just walk by and not play with him otherwise.

he says one time the dog was too excited about the bratwurst and grabbed on too hard.

he says he was half way across his village before the dog stopped.

he's still missing that hand today. does not keep him from his operations.

hans is so brave.

When I was little my brothers (2 of them) and I would do water balloons and throw them at the neighbours doors (apartments).

We would also knock on their doors and hide and see if they answered.

When my father would say "this is a rerun cartoon", we would say we have never seen it, even though we had numerous times. He fell for it every time.

I used to sneek a box of jello crystals to school and me and my friend would enjoy it.

luv4u said:

Sounds like you were a little hellion

When I was younger my friends from school started a club in this guy named Joe's tree house his dad built.....Joe's family was rich and Joe's dad was head guy at a contruction site....His dad lost his job because he was accused of buying shady equipment and supplies to save money on the buildings he was making and keeping the profits himself. I missed one meeting after school but witnesses say the meeting went as normal but once the secret handshake had been done they began to bounce around in joy....The tree house fell to the ground and only Joe was seriously hurt everyone else got up and ran.....Maybe cause Joe was 220 pounds at age 11.....Lesson: Overweight kids should not be in tree house built by shady foremen....

When I was little (6 years old) me and my two buddies picked up a big piece of dogshit with some branches, put it in a little box and then dumped it in someone's mailbox. We didn't like him very much.

axestream said:

I did that! Didn't everybody?

When I was a little subhuman I had a red cape I'd put on and run around the house like Superman-with my arms out and everything like I was flying.

When I was little I had a magic kit that I kept in a big black plastic box with my name on it.

There was this girl I liked that lived nearby and we'd always play together. (You know what I mean you horny bastards.)

Well one day I was trying to make her laugh so I danced on the plastic box, slipped fell and hit the back of my head on this little table I kept in my room.

I bled but was laughing and she was too, so it was worth it.

Later I realized I had busted my head open some I cried like a little bitch.

Ah, memories.



(That could explain something...)

when i was little...

me & my brothers had a "dressing up box" which was about four foot long, two foot wide and two foot deep (with a firm lid). full of clothes we'd all dress up in when play-acting.

well, i occasionally would take out all the clothes and have a brief sleep inside.

call me a vampire if you wish, but i felt entirely comfortable.

When I was little, I was watching telly downstairs when my brother started to call me upstairs.
It sounded kinda urgent by the way he was shouting, so I ran upstairs to see what was happening.
I ran into the bedroom to find my brother standing on the top bunk of our bunk beds, with his dinkle out.
He then proceeded to wee from there onto my BIG TRAK which was my favorite thing at the time.
He started laughing like mad too
I was so upset I had a fit and ran downstairs crying.
I then accidentally smashed my mums best vase.
My brother got a smack, I got shouted at, so everyone ended up sad.

Oh how I miss my Big Trak

When I was a toddler, I often tried 2 kill my dad, often with big sticks I found in the woods. His strength always outpowered me though and I failed in my mission.
He is still alive 2day. havent attempted2kill him 4 a while but I can sense I will succeed b4 long.

Poor you!

Okay!! Wellz, actually my cuzzy and I were talkin bout some funny stuff we did when we were younger. When we were 12, in Grade Six, for our final year assembly at the end, da whole class did a dance 2 Michael Jackson'z Thriller...we were just cackin ourselves remembering da 80s tracksuitz we tore and ripped and dirtied wif charchoal and rubbed in da mud...da green make up...the temptation to put PVA GLUE on our skin, let it dry clear and peel bitz of it so it looked like our skin was falling off ...and how her dad took us WALKINGZ wif da shit on, and 2 top it all off our hair was all tossed and teased and we started staggering on da streetz wonderin if people would really think we were dead people walking aroundz!!! ...it kinda spawned off onto our interesting darez at a nightclub we did last year ...we had 2 go to a guy and ask "excuse me, do you like zombiez" so i was da first to do it...and i just randomly went up to some poor guy and asked him dat ...did u know he was so disturbed dat later on, he kept coming up to me, and (really distressed) he was askinz 'why did u ask me THAT???' like it was meant to mean somethingz

I guess some of us don't quiiite grow up in somewayz

And to top it all off, this van my dad encouraged my uncle (da same cuzzy mentioned above's dad) had this spray paint graffitti art on it with "DA ZOMBIE" on it AND...da uncle who dressed like Prince...his bungalow (it's interior upholstered purple velveteen) was spraypainted wif all sortz of thingz..one of them was a zombie ...and along side it in wordz were "zombie"... It was like this part of my childhood dat may explain alotz

CauseImFly said:

At the time I thought we were being original.

When I was little I wasn'nt much bigger than I am today

I remember my first day at infant school..

I went to the toilet...my first experience of a urinal

I wasn't sure whether to wash my hands there or take a pee....I chose the latter

Then I went to wash my hands....with my back to the urinals

The acoustics in there were manic....and the urinals began to flush...I thought a dam had

.....burst So I ran.... leaving the tap running.....

Half a Hour later the school was being evacuated because of a flood from the male toilets

.....They never did find out who did it....

Ok here are some "Real" Childhood stories not like the ones I made up.


When I was little I used to pretend I was the pink panther and get my dad's belt and put the buckle part in the back of my pants and run around with a make believe tail.....

And I once put baby powder on half my face to look like Prince in the Batdance video.....

The Thriller video from Michael Jackson scared me so much as a kid I saw it only once and never saw it again until 1998 and I was still freaked out but more by the acting than the monsters....

CauseImFly said:

that thriller vidoes scared the shit out of me , i slept on my parents floor that night

CauseImFly said:

I got "The Making of Thriller" ...i was OBSESSED with dat tape!! I used to watch it when i was 3-4 yearz old with da LIGHTZ OUT!!!

when i was little we lived in england, i was maybe 3 or 4 yrs old, i was in the garage playing with some friends and we painted the garage and everythung in with yellow paint, including ourselves....i hear this story almost every year at christmas...."Remember the time Melissa painted the garage".....

CauseImFly said:

Life's a bitch

I did something really baaaaad. My friend and I tricked our other friend we sorta disliked. I made her close her eyes and she had to guess what sort of cookie she was eating. We fed her a dog biscuit Gawd, she was pissed when she found out.

sinister said:

You're a nutter!

sinister said:

When i was little i was very accident prone, i fractured my skull 3 times and nearly died in 2 bus crashes.....

i guess the bangs on the head explain why I'm like i am.

When i was little i was determined to marry Michael Jackson, be the girl outta the way you make me feel and have a romance like dirty dancing,
i was a warped child, i also used to watch nightmare on elmstreet as much as i could.

I also drank a tumbler of whisky with cider of my grandads one christmas when i was 4 and ended up in hospital with alcohol poisening I started REALLY young.