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Thread started 08/27/04 7:59am

J0eyC0c0

The Rules As We See Them

This one's dedicated to the master, CCII. worship



The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either or ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a Vegetable. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun format ion, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Reply #1 posted 08/27/04 8:02am

Handclapsfinga
snapz

make up yer friggin mind.

hmph!
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Reply #2 posted 08/27/04 8:03am

JediMaster

avatar

Fun little e-mail. I got this about two years ago. Did you know that Prince is putting this one to music during his acoustic set? Its quite entertaining.
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #3 posted 08/27/04 8:03am

REDFEATHERS

I can't believe you!
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Reply #4 posted 08/27/04 8:06am

J0eyC0c0

REDFEATHERS said:

I can't believe you!


Third one from the bottom has got to be your fav. evillol
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Reply #5 posted 08/27/04 8:06am

CCII

I'm going to use these three. This is so damn true.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

J0eyC0c0 said:

This one's dedicated to the master, CCII. worship


The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


[color=darkred:fa7df5b72c]1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either or ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a Vegetable. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun format ion, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.[/color]
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Reply #6 posted 08/27/04 8:10am

REDFEATHERS

J0eyC0c0 said:

REDFEATHERS said:

I can't believe you!


Third one from the bottom has got to be your fav. evillol



But you know thats not true tease
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Reply #7 posted 08/27/04 8:42am

J0eyC0c0

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

make up yer friggin mind.

hmph!


That's exactly what we want women to do. thumbs up!

wink

boxed
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Reply #8 posted 08/27/04 8:51am

Handclapsfinga
snapz

J0eyC0c0 said:

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

make up yer friggin mind.

hmph!


That's exactly what we want women to do. thumbs up!

wink

boxed

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Reply #9 posted 08/27/04 8:53am

Spookymuffin

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

J0eyC0c0 said:



That's exactly what we want women to do. thumbs up!

wink

boxed



evillol

This thread is so tru tho! except maybe for the baseball and monster truck stuff...
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Reply #10 posted 08/27/04 11:38am

luv4u

Moderator

avatar

moderator

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

J0eyC0c0 said:



That's exactly what we want women to do. thumbs up!

wink

boxed




woot!
canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #11 posted 08/27/04 3:45pm

podiumdancer

I bet a woman being sarcastic thought of those


i doubt a man could have invented such convincing arguments.
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Reply #12 posted 08/27/04 3:58pm

J0eyC0c0

podiumdancer said:

I bet a woman being sarcastic thought of those


i doubt a man could have invented such convincing arguments.


talk to the hand
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Reply #13 posted 08/27/04 4:03pm

podiumdancer

J0eyC0c0 said:

podiumdancer said:

I bet a woman being sarcastic thought of those


i doubt a man could have invented such convincing arguments.


talk to the hand



see what i mean that talk to the hand was such a convincing argument

giggle
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Reply #14 posted 08/27/04 5:14pm

XxAxX

avatar

falloff
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Reply #15 posted 08/27/04 8:07pm

NovaAngel

avatar

J0eyC0c0 said:

This one's dedicated to the master, CCII. worship



The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


[color=darkred:fa7df5b72c]1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either or ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a Vegetable. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun format ion, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.[/color]



touched worship I sir, am in your debt...
"I ordered no broth! Away with ye lest my cane find your backside!!"- Ralph Wiggum, Actor.
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