i mean, if you love someone, will you always love them ? or does it eventually die ??

have you ever been in love with someone ? and are you still ?? im not talking about do you want them, i mean, even if there are hard feelings involved, do you still love them ?

and... how did you know you were in love ? what is love actually ?

nakedpianoplayer said:

ok, i'll bite.

i think love is fluid and it changes its shape the longer you get to know someone. i think it can be stretched very thin sometimes, and sometimes i think it's so thick that nothing can get through it. i think sometimes love can be more in the mind, and sometimes i think it can be more in the body and sometimes i think it can be all 100% emotional, or sometimes all three at the same time. i think what messes a lot of people up is that they expect a relationship to be just like the first few months, when you're in your honeymoon stage and everything is unicorns and lollipops and little dancing elves and talking bunnies. and it's not gonna be like that. at some point, little things they do are going to annoy you and at some point, they're not going to think it's cute that you fart in bed anymore. but it won't mean that the love is gone. it just means there's more familiarity, that it's going to another level, and while that level may not feel as if it has the "novelty" of when you first met, it just takes a bit more nuanced appreciation to make work. honestly, i like it when the honeymoon stage wears off, as much fun as it is...i like the quietness of being with someone, when everything we do doesn't have to be some big monumental romantic epic occasion anymore and we can get off just doing laundry together or sitting on a couch together reading books or walking to the grocery for dish soap and toilet paper.

how does someone know they're in love? i just think you know. to put it in words would be to cheapen it, i think.

Anxiety said:

Wise man you.

Loving is not the same as being in love. Love comes in many different ways too....and yes, true love lasts forever in some way or form. That doesn't mean that you'll always stay together or that after a period of separation it will be possible to get back together.
[This message was edited Sat Aug 7 12:42:00 2004 by J0eyC0c0]

thank you both, those are incredible answers

nakedpianoplayer said:

i dunno cuz i'm separating with my girlfriend though we love each other... a relationship is a complex matter, & love sometimes ain't enough... i think one can love someone 4ever, but many other things come in the equation...
!!!

That's like asking if there is life after death, isnt it? You're probably better off asking a 90 year old couple who've been together for the last 70 years. Though, I'm like Larry David, I'll promise you the rest of my life, but I've got other plans for eternity.

Forever really does boils down to the natural life span of humans, which after the common age of marriage ( between the ages of 25 and 35 years old) comes out to be 40 - 50 years, if you're that fortunate or unfortunate depending on your situation.

nakedpianoplayer said:

Yes... I can't speak for everyone but once I love someone I love them, on some level, forever. It's not the same, it changes and becomes something new, but yes it's still love.

And the "hard feelings" can fog that love from time to time, but love is still there just asleep.

nakedpianoplayer said:

I think it depends on who you are and how you work as a feeling person. I can only say how I feel and what I believe.
I believe that as you go through life you meet people, both male and female, that are potential pieces of the puzzle that is you. For me, the love parts have always been male ones and potential other halves of me. I have only loved 3 times and I still do, all 3. I also don't count on ever meeting another one. I blew it, or they blew it, or we grew apart. Whichever is the case, I'm miserable.

Oh, and how I know I love? I always say that when I have a crush I'm happy and when I love I'm miserable.

crush edit
[This message was edited Sat Aug 7 14:35:28 2004 by Teacher]

Love is potential.
Sumtimes you are ready, other times you are not.

I think true love IS everlasting...

Whether you spend "everlasting" together or not...

Sweeny79 said:

with only one or two exceptions, i think that everyone i've been in love with in the past, i can honestly say i still have some kind of love left for them. it's not the "oooh baby i miss you, let's get back together" kind of love, but every once in a while i'll find myself missing a particular someone for a couple of moments, then i'll kinda shrug it off and go on about my business. not too long ago, i had the chance to spend the afternoon with someone i was in a relationship with years ago, and it was really a good experience. i kinda felt like it put behind all the bad feelings that went with our breakup, and we once again got to really enjoy each other like we used to, only without any kind of tension. it was one of the best days i've had all year, and i've had some pretty good days this year.

Anxiety said:

It would take a whole lot for me to enter back into any old relationship I've had.... so I understand what you mean by saying having those moments and shrugging it off.
and time spent with old lovers can be so liberating and it puts things in perspective...all so often we fall into the idea that we are not good enough and that's why a relationship didn't work..but when given the oppertunity to see just how you did effect someone and see just how you were effected by another is a truly beautiful expreience.

Closure

scififilmnerd said:

beautifully said

Love is a crazy MF and I think it comes in many different forms,often you find that you dont know what love even is, I take my first proper girlfirend as an example I felt I was in love with her and I wanted to be with her forever ,though as fate had it we argued alot and she left me,I was heartbroken for at least 2years,though its 8years ago now and I feel differently about it now,in that it may have just felt like love coz it was the first real girlfriend I'd had and may been more based on lust,but who knows I dont .Every girlfriend I've had since feels differently to the first its just what I assume to be different types of love.

scififilmnerd said:

After broken relationships, one divorce and death of a girlfriend I can confirm...

...for me at least....that it is....Everlasting...that is

(no...this isn't a sob story)
[This message was edited Sat Aug 7 16:50:42 2004 by Steadwood]

Sweeny79 said:

I saw my ex today and I'm unsure that I have 'closure' It was good to see her and all but I still have feelings for her over a year since we split up. I wonder if I'll ever get over her

soulyacolia said:

I year aint realy that long to get over someone, the best ways not to see them again,which isnt always possible.

I have been in 'infatuation' type relationships in the past and those feelings seem to fade to nothing after a lot of time passes. I can see the person again and, while it's nice to see them, I don't have any residual emotion past friendliness for them.

On the other hand, I felt a very real love for only two other relationships and, to this day, I still have feelings of love for them. I used to believe the 'time heals all wounds' saying but after sooo much time goes by and my heart can still ache (not like I want to be with them again in a romantic/sexual way, but because there is still real emotion there) when I see them or hear about them. I realize now that I will always feel love for them.

I'm not the kind of person who can quit loving someone. Like others on this thread have already said, the love might change a bit over time, but if I truly, really loved someone...I will always love them.

richierich said:

I don't think there is a time frame for it, it depends on the relationship and the people involved.

soulyacolia I feel your pain time and experience does not always heal, but it does give you a better perspective on things...take your experience with your ex and learn from it. Every experience we have serves to guide us to our full potential. You just need distance... things will get better.

Sweeny79 said:

Sweeny you're an absolute love!!

soulyacolia said:

Well, thanks!

But what I said is true, you can trust me on that

Sweeny79 said:

Ye I agree with that,its just that at first you have alot of recent memories with the person but as time passes it eases of a bit. I thought I could never have a happy day for the rest of my life after I split with my girlfriend, I was devastated for at least two years and would have done anything for her to want me back, I used to constantly day dream about how things could have been different. But as time went on it was hard for me to stay that attached as I basicly know nothing of her ,I started to get new friends,girlfriends moved house etc etc,nothing really reminds me off her that much anymore and I have had new concerns since.

richierich said:

It can be SO hard..... I'm glad things are better for you now.

Sweeny79 said:

Thanks ,things couldnt be better with my relationship been with same girl for 6 years now, though I still feel heartbroken because my dad had his second stroke last week and I saw him today and its making me feel sad.

i mean, if you love someone, will you always love them ? YES

or does it eventually die ?? It can....

have you ever been in love with someone ? Unfortunately...Yes.

and are you still ?? No.

im not talking about do you want them, i mean, even if there are hard feelings involved, do you still love them ? Yes & No


I think love isn't for everybody. Or rather it may not exist for everybody. Why does it have to? Being single and alone is not necessarily a bad thing. I believe in love, true love, love at first sight (oooh a Kylie song. ), and love can be the greatest power in the universe. But I don't feel it's meant for all of us. And I'm ok with that.
Hope that made some kind of sense to you.







What Is Love? edit.
[This message was edited Sat Aug 7 17:06:04 2004 by Chico1]

richierich said:

Awwww poor baby!!!