I will not settle for anywone that is not a lover of life and willing to explore all of the world...too many people construe Monogamy and Polygamy to be equated with sex or sexual partners when it is not about that at all....Polygamy is about having your needs and expectations taken care of by multiple persons in your realm for WHATEVER reasons they may be.....I am not against being with one.....but they better be a DYNAMIC individual full of zest and life!

Ah, this topic again...

I'm fascinated by this topic, because I've been on both sides of it at different times in my life. Generally speaking, I believe that in theory, open relationships can be a really healthy thing; in practice, however, it's far trickier and to be quite honest, I've yet to witness what I would call an ideal or "model" open/polyamorous relationship. There's always some aspect of denial present, however small or subtle or seemingly negligible - some nagging little inconsistency or element that just doesn't seem quite right or fair, but it's okay, because it's simply not addressed....though one day, it's gonna slap 'em square upside the head.

I think I'm coming into a more conservative (for lack of a better word) POV about relationships. I'm more interested in the familial and the emotional than I am the physical and the sexual - though don't get me wrong, I'm still all about the latter two elements.

But I dunno...I'm feeling more and more that when I'm confronted with a strong, sincere attraction to the wholeness of someone, nothing/nobody else is really necessary. Does that mean I think polygamy or polyamory is wrong? Nah, not at all. And there was a time when I thought it was just great. But I guess I'm in a different headspace these daze...

Anxiety said:

Well spoken, but this isn't just about sex.

Very well stated....as we all do evolve.

DexMSR said:[quote]

Anxiety said:

I understand that it's not just about sex, and I've considered the possibility of an emotionally-engaged relationship comprised of more than two people. I think that if you want that kind of a dynamic and you feel you have the capacity to connect with two (or more, hey) people simultaneously with the same quality of depth, then hey - go to it! I just feel more and more that throwing all of that energy toward one person is terribly gratifying to me, though perhaps that may have just as much to do with the person I'm with than it does any evolution I may be going through...who knows?

DexMSR said:

YEAH HUMAN SHOULD ACT LIKE ANIMAL!

IT REAL COOL

PRAYING MANTIS EAT BOYFRIEND HEAD OFF

AND DOG HUMP CARPET WHEN HORNY

POOK said:

Stop living in the past, monkey. We caught your rant the first time.

There are also Reptiles, Some birds including ducks and geese, and Foxes that are with 1 partner for life.. It isn't unnatural. Survival of the strongest is all it comes down to. A fine design. But Damn if it doesn't get boring

indytracy said:

See....now boring is never ever for me. Whap!

DexMSR said:

Your decision to bang out whtever woman you please is your decision. Why are those who do it crazy to you?

MsMisha319 said:

that's logic

theory terms marriage, monogamy,religion,politics and all that are unnatural but common part of life

humans are probably the most "emotionally complex" species on this planet. there are many factors that come into play, in terms of the benefits (or disadvantages) of monogomy. humans are capable of feeling various emotions, in varying degrees, at any time, with or without "stimuli" or "provocation". this is a big part of why humans "attempt" to be monogamous.


there are indeed many benefits & advantages to being with 1 person ; anyone who is or who has been in a long term relationship knows what these are.

what determines whether a person "chooses monogamy" or not is based on if they see the value in having that in their life.


like with virtually every thing in this world :
a person is most motivated to do or have something in their life when they see the value in having it or doing that thing.

you see the value in listening to prince's music because you identify with it in some way(s) & it adds something positive to your life, so you spend your money on his cd's, you listen to his music attentively & you go see him in concert ;

you see the value in having a car to take you back & forth, so you save/find/get the money to pay for the car, the insurance, gas & maintenance ;

you see the value in obtaining a bachelor's degree in the discipline that most interests you, so you put in the 4 years to get that degree & find the work to let you use that degree..
or you bust your ass for 8 years (or more) to become a doctor or lawyer because again, you see the value in doing that, you see the value in working towards & sacrificing for that, so you do it.

in other words, even though some things seem "difficult" to do, have or accomplish.. when you see the value in having that thing in your life, you are motivated to get it & you find a way to get or have that thing or person in your life.


so it is with relationships as well :
you make yourself vulnerable to that other person (they could reject you at any moment),
you invest invest your emotion, time, effort & other elements,
you do all those thing to be with that 1 other woman or man because
you see the value in it. that other woman or man gives you something that no 1 else can, & you are motivated to have that in your life.


ideally, you come to see that there is a lot more to living in this world
than
living only for yourself in this world.

This concludes that men are generally selfish creatures...no lie. and women are alwyas down for the team. It's how it is. This is why the sound business head and partner is always the spouse. Then when it's time for the mid-life crisis....he's out.

Wait a minute...Mid Life crisis....This applies to a lot of men on this board.

And let a female handle hers, and do what her man does....he can't handle it...it's like base animal behavior. Men can't handle a woman who gets HERS. This is delightfully humorous

mltijchr said:

Uh huh. So what does that have to do with monogamy/polygamy/polyamory?

I'm deeply invested in my relationships with my family and friends, among them the two lovely men I'm partnered with. I give so, so much to these people. . .it is so far from "living only for myself" that the phrase makes me giggle.

What I would say about polyamory is that it's complicated. All of the complications of a whole 'nother important relationship in your life, complicated further by a closedminded and intolerant society.

But if you can handle complicated. . .yeah. . .it can be rewarding. It's wonderful to be able to explore to whatever depth you wish the interesting folks who enter your life, without a big set of Rules imposed by your other relationships. Or, at least, fewer and more thoughtfully chosen rules.

This is different, of course, than sexual nonmonogamy of various sorts. . .I'm assuming an actual ongoing relationship. If you just want to fuck people who you never expect to bring home to your parents, good for you. It's less complicated. Not free of complication, but less complicated.

This thread is BOOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNG! with a capital B.


icon by PANDURITO