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Men....and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Pt. 4 How many meaningless or rarely used "gadgets" do you have.....If you're "married" DILDOS COUNT!  The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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My wife had a few toys. Never minded her using on of them on herself while we were having sex, though I hated it when the pocket rocket made my balls vibrate. I didn't like that feeling at all!  Can't say I've ever seen any real interesting toys for men.  | |
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I have loads of useless gadgets, here's some of them :
An old casio personal disorganiser that's so big it looks petrol driven. I don't use it because it's too big to carry around. A handheld fan which is missing the 'propeller' bit, which means it's now just an effective (and noisy) way to waste batteries. A cheap and crappy mobile phone holder for my car - which failed on all counts as it had one sticky pad to attach it to the dashboard, which wore off after about 10 minutes. Also, it was able to hold on to my mobile phone - but only when the car was stationary. A cheap and crappy 'thing' which is supposed to unfreeze keyholes during inclement weather. Pretty useless really, the weather here never gets cold enough to freeze up keyholes anyway. So far, it's only function in life has been to burn me (and my jeans) when it switched itself on in my pocket. It has subsequently been consigned to my 'useless shit' box. Another cheap and crappy mobile phone holder - this one is supposed to attach itself to a PC monitor (why?). Very cleverly designed to be almost but not quite wide enough to hold any known make of mobile phone. A cheap and crappy 'thing' for personalising golf balls. Essentially a one-character-at-a-time label writer, except the 'writing' is done directly to the golf ball. It would work well if it wasn't for the fact that golf balls are spherical. What makes it even less useful for me is that I have never played golf, and have no immediate plans to do so, even though I could have personalised golf balls. I borrowed a golf ball from a friend to try out this wonderful invention. In order to make any impression on it I had to exert extreme force, causing the ball to fly out of the contraption at a speed Tiger Woods would be proud of. End result : One broken contraption, one golf ball with half the letter 'A' stamped on it, and one traumatised cat. The cat has subsequently recovered, the other items are in the previously mentioned box of useless shit. A novelty sized stapler. It might be useful if I ever find a supplier of non-standard sized staples. The original 'Alice in Wonderland' text andventure game on ten 5¼" floppy disks. A copy of "Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People". A cheap and crappy plastic 'thing' which you slide along the edge of a CD case in order to easily remove the plastic wrapping. A prime example of back-end thinking. Why not apply some logic and just not wrap CD's in useless fucking plastic in the first place. If there are Darwin Awards (or similar) for bloody useless inventions, then this is my nomination. A 'handy' (and of course plastic) floppy disk holder, which holds 5 floppy disks. Fine in principle, but this one has a magnetic clasp. I mean, duh! I've changed my mind - this bloody useless invention gets my nomination. A 'universal' remote control. If this thing could talk it'd be saying "What's Sony ? Who are Mitsubishi? Aiwa? Panasonic ? Akai? Nope, never heard of any of them.". Lord of the Remotes my arse. These are just some of the cheap, nasty, useless (made of plastic) items of crap I own. I feel it necessary to point out that I don't buy this shit myself - with the exception of the Alice in Wonderland game and the 'One Remote to control them all' they were all gifts from alleged friends. Lemmy, Bowie, Prince, Leonard. RIP. |
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 AsylumUtopia that is hilarious, my universal remote is the same way lol | |
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AsylumUtopia said: I have loads of useless gadgets, here's some of them :
An old casio personal disorganiser that's so big it looks petrol driven. I don't use it because it's too big to carry around. A handheld fan which is missing the 'propeller' bit, which means it's now just an effective (and noisy) way to waste batteries. A cheap and crappy mobile phone holder for my car - which failed on all counts as it had one sticky pad to attach it to the dashboard, which wore off after about 10 minutes. Also, it was able to hold on to my mobile phone - but only when the car was stationary. A cheap and crappy 'thing' which is supposed to unfreeze keyholes during inclement weather. Pretty useless really, the weather here never gets cold enough to freeze up keyholes anyway. So far, it's only function in life has been to burn me (and my jeans) when it switched itself on in my pocket. It has subsequently been consigned to my 'useless shit' box. Another cheap and crappy mobile phone holder - this one is supposed to attach itself to a PC monitor (why?). Very cleverly designed to be almost but not quite wide enough to hold any known make of mobile phone. A cheap and crappy 'thing' for personalising golf balls. Essentially a one-character-at-a-time label writer, except the 'writing' is done directly to the golf ball. It would work well if it wasn't for the fact that golf balls are spherical. What makes it even less useful for me is that I have never played golf, and have no immediate plans to do so, even though I could have personalised golf balls. I borrowed a golf ball from a friend to try out this wonderful invention. In order to make any impression on it I had to exert extreme force, causing the ball to fly out of the contraption at a speed Tiger Woods would be proud of. End result : One broken contraption, one golf ball with half the letter 'A' stamped on it, and one traumatised cat. The cat has subsequently recovered, the other items are in the previously mentioned box of useless shit. A novelty sized stapler. It might be useful if I ever find a supplier of non-standard sized staples. The original 'Alice in Wonderland' text andventure game on ten 5¼" floppy disks. A copy of "Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People". A cheap and crappy plastic 'thing' which you slide along the edge of a CD case in order to easily remove the plastic wrapping. A prime example of back-end thinking. Why not apply some logic and just not wrap CD's in useless fucking plastic in the first place. If there are Darwin Awards (or similar) for bloody useless inventions, then this is my nomination. A 'handy' (and of course plastic) floppy disk holder, which holds 5 floppy disks. Fine in principle, but this one has a magnetic clasp. I mean, duh! I've changed my mind - this bloody useless invention gets my nomination. A 'universal' remote control. If this thing could talk it'd be saying "What's Sony ? Who are Mitsubishi? Aiwa? Panasonic ? Akai? Nope, never heard of any of them.". Lord of the Remotes my arse. These are just some of the cheap, nasty, useless (made of plastic) items of crap I own. I feel it necessary to point out that I don't buy this shit myself - with the exception of the Alice in Wonderland game and the 'One Remote to control them all' they were all gifts from alleged friends. I think it's time for a Garage Sale brotha!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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AsylumUtopia said: I have loads of useless gadgets, here's some of them :
An old casio personal disorganiser that's so big it looks petrol driven. I don't use it because it's too big to carry around. A handheld fan which is missing the 'propeller' bit, which means it's now just an effective (and noisy) way to waste batteries. A cheap and crappy mobile phone holder for my car - which failed on all counts as it had one sticky pad to attach it to the dashboard, which wore off after about 10 minutes. Also, it was able to hold on to my mobile phone - but only when the car was stationary. A cheap and crappy 'thing' which is supposed to unfreeze keyholes during inclement weather. Pretty useless really, the weather here never gets cold enough to freeze up keyholes anyway. So far, it's only function in life has been to burn me (and my jeans) when it switched itself on in my pocket. It has subsequently been consigned to my 'useless shit' box. Another cheap and crappy mobile phone holder - this one is supposed to attach itself to a PC monitor (why?). Very cleverly designed to be almost but not quite wide enough to hold any known make of mobile phone. A cheap and crappy 'thing' for personalising golf balls. Essentially a one-character-at-a-time label writer, except the 'writing' is done directly to the golf ball. It would work well if it wasn't for the fact that golf balls are spherical. What makes it even less useful for me is that I have never played golf, and have no immediate plans to do so, even though I could have personalised golf balls. I borrowed a golf ball from a friend to try out this wonderful invention. In order to make any impression on it I had to exert extreme force, causing the ball to fly out of the contraption at a speed Tiger Woods would be proud of. End result : One broken contraption, one golf ball with half the letter 'A' stamped on it, and one traumatised cat. The cat has subsequently recovered, the other items are in the previously mentioned box of useless shit. A novelty sized stapler. It might be useful if I ever find a supplier of non-standard sized staples. The original 'Alice in Wonderland' text andventure game on ten 5¼" floppy disks. A copy of "Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People". A cheap and crappy plastic 'thing' which you slide along the edge of a CD case in order to easily remove the plastic wrapping. A prime example of back-end thinking. Why not apply some logic and just not wrap CD's in useless fucking plastic in the first place. If there are Darwin Awards (or similar) for bloody useless inventions, then this is my nomination. A 'handy' (and of course plastic) floppy disk holder, which holds 5 floppy disks. Fine in principle, but this one has a magnetic clasp. I mean, duh! I've changed my mind - this bloody useless invention gets my nomination. A 'universal' remote control. If this thing could talk it'd be saying "What's Sony ? Who are Mitsubishi? Aiwa? Panasonic ? Akai? Nope, never heard of any of them.". Lord of the Remotes my arse. These are just some of the cheap, nasty, useless (made of plastic) items of crap I own. I feel it necessary to point out that I don't buy this shit myself - with the exception of the Alice in Wonderland game and the 'One Remote to control them all' they were all gifts from alleged friends. Those are great! The only thing I can think of is an ice scraper that plugs into my lighter and is supposed to melt the ice as I scrape. 'Twas a gift and I've never used it because I don't have the time to plug it in, wait for it to heat up, roll down the windows to allow access for the cord to reach and scrape. It sits in the closet. | |
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Anybody here own a "FlowBee"!!?? The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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