2day I went 2 call my mother and I couldnt make the call, cos we had been disconnected!! Over here int he UK we have NTL, for our phone and my broadband internet(I have Sky Digital for our TV now), anyway, last week they called me up regarding an outstanding bill of £43.00+ and so I told them that on the Friday(this past Friday) I would send off £50, which is roughly half of the current bill that came in. Well, I pay all my bills by the ATM at our Bank, the thing is it takes 6 F.....G WORKING DAYS for the payment 2 get into the recipients system!!!!! Well, I couldnt make the trip 2 the bank on Friday as I had planned, but I paid the bill first thing Monday morning instead!!
Well, anyway, we got disconnected 2day, so its obvious that one department had not notified another department of what I had done!!!!

The thing is this company is so paranoid about getting their money!! They already hate it that I have gone with Sky for the TV!!

Also, In the USA, if I payed my bills by the same way that I do here, the payment would b INSTANTLY in the recipients system!!

THIS COUNTRY GETS WORSER AND WORSER!!!!!

Ah well, you see, the mistake you made was in not using NTL for your TV as well. You're now on their shit list. Actually, the mistake you made was to sign up with that bunch of cretinous morons in the first place. I am lucky enough not to have anything to do with them any more, but I still hold them in the highest contempt, the bunch of useless bastards.

I know what you're going through, deal with NTL and you're entering the twilight zone. I guess all you can do is wait until the end of the contract, tell them to fuck off, and go back to BT!

In the mean time, this was sent to me some time ago, a letter sent to NTL from yet another disgruntled customer :

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....
HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived...six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet servers downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order.

British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant Beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver- any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief -quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats llitter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.

Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

John

That is so funny!!!

Anyway, I MADE them connect me up again 2day!!!!