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PrintableSweeny79 said: Anxiety said: it usually takes someone else to point out my screw-ups because i'm too much of an egotistical leo to point it out to myself most of the time. but once someone makes a good case, i usually feel like an ass and fess up to my wrongdoing, then eventually get over it and try to learn from it.
I'm an Aries so I have a lot of pride so I know what you are saying 
But I mean when you get that GUT feeling... that I am really being an ass right now feeling.. what do you do then? Why, I do what every healthy person does - I bury that shame deep inside and turn to the shortcomings of others for comfort.  | |
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ethics are always tricky 
I should have started this topic when I was rested. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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Anxiety said: Sweeny79 said: I'm an Aries so I have a lot of pride so I know what you are saying
But I mean when you get that GUT feeling... that I am really being an ass right now feeling.. what do you do then? Why, I do what every healthy person does - I bury that shame deep inside and turn to the shortcomings of others for comfort. Dude I SO love you! 
Sad but true right?
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Sweeny79 said: 7e7e7 said: agreeing to disagree has come into my awareness recently... sometimes we want an apology because our rational selves decide that what is best is for others to see their mistakes, of course our intuitive selves have no use for such distinctions so in that battle of internal wits we find ourselves in a division of realities... the reality that wins ultimately makes the decision, most likely the rational... as much as we want the truth, to paraphrase a movie "we can't handle the truth" that is, the truth also frees us from the responsibilities to be ourselves faults and all.. if this happens, then sometimes the non-truth "yeah, i'm just going to agree that you want an apology" is in order I guess.... I'm not looking for an apology... I was just talking to my mother about this stuff and I wondered what you guys thought. To me if you do something out of line, something that really hurts someone else, you KNOW you are wrong, something inside you repels the action... at least that is how it is for me. I just wondered if everyone had that internal reaction that kept them on the straight and narrow, that's all. heres the problem though... lets say that you say something to a person that you know is making you look bad on purpose, you desire a level of sophistication that demands a conscience however because of their own internal struggles aren't even aware enough to know that they slighted you or are prompted by others with the desire to "chop you down a notch" you may say to who is offending you that "they are doing this or that" but because they don't see the underlying motivations for the chain of reactions you may find yourself being pointed at as being wrong... heres a good example... i work for four weeks for free for people who say they are broke to help them get their business on their feet... but after the four weeks i find out they were lying and were millionaires... i quit and ultimately find out they did the same thing to four other people... meanwhile, because the business was starting to move forward they decide that me quiting put them back at square one, their own internal struggles may decide to say things that aren't right about me because in actuality i did what i agreed to do, what they wanted was more but without pay... they may in turn decide to say bad things about me which because of a lack of connections on my part may ultimately make them look righteous in their own decisions... they may demand an apology because they see themselves as righteous in their own decisions, they may say to themselves that they were giving me an excellent opportunity, but if i have to pay my bills excetera, their "opportunity" destroys other opportunities because of their unrighteous acts.. what can someone do? they really should apologize to me for lying, but then again, i desire to move ahead in my life as i know i did the best i can and god will eventually see the truth for what it really was in the long run... therefore releasing the results to the future god has designed for the righteous decisions are left to that higher existence... and of course, you may actually "feel" repelled internally as you "know" that they really wanted success to come to them... that feeling of "compassion" for their dream has to be tempered with the destruction their disregard for your own internal conflicts, understandings and needs for the truth to be expressed create in your real life... therefore you must first "forgive yourself" otherwise unattatch yourself from the outcome to become the next phase of your existence, this may seem selfish at first but actually you love yourself more in the end | |
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7e7e7 said: Sweeny79 said: I guess.... I'm not looking for an apology... I was just talking to my mother about this stuff and I wondered what you guys thought. To me if you do something out of line, something that really hurts someone else, you KNOW you are wrong, something inside you repels the action... at least that is how it is for me. I just wondered if everyone had that internal reaction that kept them on the straight and narrow, that's all. heres the problem though... lets say that you say something to a person that you know is making you look bad on purpose, you desire a level of sophistication that demands a conscience however because of their own internal struggles aren't even aware enough to know that they slighted you or are prompted by others with the desire to "chop you down a notch" you may say to who is offending you that "they are doing this or that" but because they don't see the underlying motivations for the chain of reactions you may find yourself being pointed at as being wrong... heres a good example... i work for four weeks for free for people who say they are broke to help them get their business on their feet... but after the four weeks i find out they were lying and were millionaires... i quit and ultimately find out they did the same thing to four other people... meanwhile, because the business was starting to move forward they decide that me quiting put them back at square one, their own internal struggles may decide to say things that aren't right about me because in actuality i did what i agreed to do, what they wanted was more but without pay... they may in turn decide to say bad things about me which because of a lack of connections on my part may ultimately make them look righteous in their own decisions... they may demand an apology because they see themselves as righteous in their own decisions, they may say to themselves that they were giving me an excellent opportunity, but if i have to pay my bills excetera, their "opportunity" destroys other opportunities because of their unrighteous acts.. what can someone do? they really should apologize to me for lying, but then again, i desire to move ahead in my life as i know i did the best i can and god will eventually see the truth for what it really was in the long run... therefore releasing the results to the future god has designed for the righteous decisions are left to that higher existence... and of course, you may actually "feel" repelled internally as you "know" that they really wanted success to come to them... that feeling of "compassion" for their dream has to be tempered with the destruction their disregard for your own internal conflicts, understandings and needs for the truth to be expressed create in your real life... therefore you must first "forgive yourself" otherwise unattatch yourself from the outcome to become the next phase of your existence, this may seem selfish at first but actually you love yourself more in the end Ok wow... I get what you are saying.... How to approach this... 
You know they were wrong, THEY KNOW THEY WERE WRONG, even if they do not want to admit it. They RATIONALIZED away their mistakes to propel them forward... the were not accountable for their actions. And I agree... God/the universe sees.... Karma Police by Radiohead is one of my favorite songs.... I try to keep in mind the actions I take do affect/effect others.... I wish others, especially like the people you mentioned, thought about the effect they have on their own environment. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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I try to keep in mind the actions I take do affect/effect others.... I wish others, especially like the people you mentioned, thought about the effect they have on their own environment.
In this respect the entire human race is right ...and the entire human race is wrong! 
Is it right to maintain self preservation...the human instinct of survival...in a world where our dependence on so called advances in civilisation is depleting the world of it's life sustaining resources or Should we surrender ourselves to the forces of nature by rejecting all the advances made to ensure the planets life sustaining resources are maintained for the prosperity of all things living. We all have the survival instinct...is that wrong?  I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality   |
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Steadwood said: I try to keep in mind the actions I take do affect/effect others.... I wish others, especially like the people you mentioned, thought about the effect they have on their own environment.
In this respect the entire human race is right ...and the entire human race is wrong!
Is it right to maintain self preservation...the human instinct of survival...in a world where our dependence on so called advances in civilisation is depleting the world of it's life sustaining resources or Should we surrender ourselves to the forces of nature by rejecting all the advances made to ensure the planets life sustaining resources are maintained for the prosperity of all things living. We all have the survival instinct...is that wrong? Look I'm not taking it on as deep a level as that... I just see it this way...if you care about someone or even if you don't... you don't have a right to hurt them and if you do, recognize you were being as ass and say you are sorry. and ps should I move this over to Pand R? In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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Sweeny79 said: Steadwood said: In this respect the entire human race is right ...and the entire human race is wrong!
Is it right to maintain self preservation...the human instinct of survival...in a world where our dependence on so called advances in civilisation is depleting the world of it's life sustaining resources or Should we surrender ourselves to the forces of nature by rejecting all the advances made to ensure the planets life sustaining resources are maintained for the prosperity of all things living. We all have the survival instinct...is that wrong? Look I'm not taking it on as deep a level as that... I just see it this way...if you are about someone or even if you don't... you don't have a right to hurt them and if you do, recognize you were being as ass and say you are sorry. and ps should I move this over to Pand R? No.....Just think it sorta deviated off track a little. Original question is good I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality |
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Ok here is what prompted me to start this topic....
My brother and I have always had our differences ... but we basically overcame them and got to be really close.... My brother became involved in drugs and bad people ... this prompted him to do and say things to me and other members of my family that were very hurtful and destructive... I cut my brother out, wouldn't talk to him or acknowledge he as my brother because after YEARS of trying to help him he just found some way of slapping me in my face for my efforts. He stole from me, became physically abusive to me and my mother, showed up at an old job of mine high etc... I am sorry that I didn't try to hep him, but I realize that people can only be helped if they want help.... I continued to help him second hand.... I'd talk about what could/should be done with other family members and friends... I did not completely abandon him ... but I do still carry some quilt for what I did. Anyway ... thankfully My little bro has straightened his ass out this past year.... things are finally headed in the right direction for him.... But we still have not spoken, I told my mother I didn't want him in my life if he is not going to admit he was wrong fro what he had done to me. My brother just blames the drugs but takes no responsibility for his actions concerning the hurt he has caused me or my family. So you see I am not innocent..... In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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Steadwood said: Sweeny79 said: Look I'm not taking it on as deep a level as that... I just see it this way...if you are about someone or even if you don't... you don't have a right to hurt them and if you do, recognize you were being as ass and say you are sorry. and ps should I move this over to Pand R? No.....Just think it sorta deviated off track a little. Original question is good  Thanks  In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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BabyGirl said: i own up to it....might as well....gonna have to eventually anyways
but there have been a few times when I have tried to rationalize my mistakes away maybe its the scorpio in me..... | |
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AzureStarr said: Sweeny79 said: You are not babbling and I hugged you cuz I like you, that's all I am... and I like you to... so... :hugs: I sign my divorce papers again tomorrow morning at 10! I would be lying if I said it wasn't concerning me.
But, in any case... I suppose yay for me... it's been nearly two years and it's probably about time, eh.   Sorry sweetie.... I am also amazed I had no idea you were married.... under a rock I guess! | |
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Sweeny79 said: Ok here is what prompted me to start this topic....
My brother and I have always had our differences ... but we basically overcame them and got to be really close.... My brother became involved in drugs and bad people ... this prompted him to do and say things to me and other members of my family that were very hurtful and destructive... I cut my brother out, wouldn't talk to him or acknowledge he as my brother because after YEARS of trying to help him he just found some way of slapping me in my face for my efforts. He stole from me, became physically abusive to me and my mother, showed up at an old job of mine high etc... I am sorry that I didn't try to hep him, but I realize that people can only be helped if they want help.... I continued to help him second hand.... I'd talk about what could/should be done with other family members and friends... I did not completely abandon him ... but I do still carry some quilt for what I did. Anyway ... thankfully My little bro has straightened his ass out this past year.... things are finally headed in the right direction for him.... But we still have not spoken, I told my mother I didn't want him in my life if he is not going to admit he was wrong fro what he had done to me. My brother just blames the drugs but takes no responsibility for his actions concerning the hurt he has caused me or my family. So you see I am not innocent..... I don't know the whole situation, but, I do know that a lot of times, depending on the severity of drug/alcohol use and the person using... a lot of times they aren't themselves and it is the drugs and alcohol that turn them into another person and they do/say hurtful things... not just the intake of the substance itself, but the need to acquire the drugs: stealing, lying, etc... I'm glad your brother has straightened himself out... perhaps if the two of you sit down and talk things through, you'll both see things in a different light. My father abused my mother and myself and we always assumed that he knew what he had done. About three years ago, my mother spoke to my father about the things he had done and he doesn't remember any of it... it isn't an excuse, but I can certainly see where the drugs and alcohol affected his mind in a way that wasn't right. In his mind... the next day, there was nothing to apologize for because he didn't remember having done anything and she was too afraid to bring it up. Though, I can say, that he did apologize to my mother for the things he was hearing that he did to her and for nearly killing me a few times... and never blamed the drugs. He was quite taken aback by it all... never once realizing his actions of the past. . [This message was edited Thu Jul 22 19:02:32 2004 by AzureStarr] | |
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kendogg said: AzureStarr said: I am... and I like you to... so... :hugs: I sign my divorce papers again tomorrow morning at 10! I would be lying if I said it wasn't concerning me.
But, in any case... I suppose yay for me... it's been nearly two years and it's probably about time, eh. Sorry sweetie.... I am also amazed I had no idea you were married.... under a rock I guess!Yep... married nearly 12 years. Left him nearly two years ago... finally signing the papers again tomorrow and this time we agreed that we weren't stopping the process. Sooo... I've got mixed feelings about it. Not quite sure what to think. Thanks for the "comfort" | |
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Harriet Winslow's perfect. I never do anything wrong. My husband Carl is perfect too. That's why we've been married for 25 yrs. We are so awesome. | |
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HarrietWinslow said: Harriet Winslow's perfect. I never do anything wrong. My husband Carl is perfect too. That's why we've been married for 25 yrs. We are so awesome.
Do you know that your nephew, Richie, is all grown up and starring on "The Young and The Restless"?? Smooches;) | |
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MsMisha319 said: HarrietWinslow said: Harriet Winslow's perfect. I never do anything wrong. My husband Carl is perfect too. That's why we've been married for 25 yrs. We are so awesome.
Do you know that your nephew, Richie, is all grown up and starring on "The Young and The Restless"?? Smooches;) nooo. I'm so proud of little Richie. For real though, I had no idea. I don't really watch soap operas anymore. | |
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I would rather own up to it. You get more respect for being honest. 
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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moderatorIs this thread about me? | |
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althom said: Is this thread about me?
 | |
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althom said: Is this thread about me?
Do you want it to be??
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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My conscience speaks with a megaphone. I honestly cant live with doing shitty things to people unless i really, really hate them for good reason.
I'm pretty good with apologies but i must say i rarely hurt people. I am guilty of bottling things up though. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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bkw said: My conscience speaks with a megaphone. I honestly cant live with doing shitty things to people unless i really, really hate them for good reason.
I'm pretty good with apologies but i must say i rarely hurt people. I am guilty of bottling things up though. There, there!
2the9s doesn't mind. | |
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althom said: bkw said: My conscience speaks with a megaphone. I honestly cant live with doing shitty things to people unless i really, really hate them for good reason.
I'm pretty good with apologies but i must say i rarely hurt people. I am guilty of bottling things up though. There, there!
2the9s doesn't mind. I really onlt get shitty with people who forget my birthday.  When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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althom said: bkw said: My conscience speaks with a megaphone. I honestly cant live with doing shitty things to people unless i really, really hate them for good reason.
I'm pretty good with apologies but i must say i rarely hurt people. I am guilty of bottling things up though. There, there!
2the9s doesn't mind.
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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bkw said: althom said: There, there!
2the9s doesn't mind. I really onlt get shitty with people who forget my birthday. | |
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althom said: bkw said: I really onlt get shitty with people who forget my birthday.  When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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