Sweeny79 said:

Alot of people do. I will use dislike if it makes you feel more comfortable.

CHEECHWIZARD said:

I don't think disliking or hating anyone is a healthy for your soul.

I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years and I don't even HATE him.

I don't think he made the right choices concerning me, but I understand that things happened in his life that made him that way.

Was/is he an ass for doing the things he did?

But having bad thoughts and feelings in my heart over the situation isn't going to help me any. I have to take care of myself. You know?

Sweeny79 said:

girl, you better than me

Sweeny79 said:

you have such a kind and forgiving soul.

Sweeny79 said:

And sometimes people just grow apart bcuz each individual's personal goals might change!

Janfriend said:

Naw I'm not, I just work hard on being the best person I can be, that's all.

ELBOOGY said:

That's true too

neesespieces said:

Thank you Nesse

Janfriend said:

And way better than me

Sweeny79 said:

So do I, but if I was in an abusive relationship, I would never speak to that person again and it take me a lot of therapy to get over the pain the inflicted on me

Janfriend said:

It took me therapy too.

and I don't speak to him, I don't even know where he is now, and I don't care. But I don't hate him.

It's so funny how you mention relationships failing. I can't even get them started

Janfriend said:

Oh please you are SO pretty! You are just picky that's all.

Sweeny79 said:

Thank-you! I guess I am picky, but I'm DYING for the opportunity to show someone how loving and romantic I can be. I NEED to show love. It's not even a want anymore, it's a need! I don't want to be with just anybody though

Janfriend said:

The right one will come along when you are not looking, trust me on that!

Sweeny79 said:

I really don't believe that. You have to put yourself out there if you want to be found

Janfriend said:

maybe... every relationship I have ever been in just kind of happened though..

cause something happens. and one or both of the people involved can't/don't want to/refuse to deal with it.

Natsume said:

amen

sad thread topic. I'm going to go cuddle gareth for a bit now.

Natsume said:

have fun!

Sweeny79 said:

he's sleeping and it's boring!

Basically unwillingness from at least one party. Unwillingness regarding changing, adjusting, compromising or being patient. Something that once was good doesn't just go bad. There's always a reason.

J0eyC0c0 said:

sometimes it gets stale though, and then what?

In my experience it's because of several reasons.

First, people hook-up with alcohol and have sex without actually getting to know the person first. If you wouldn't be there friend why would you be their girlfriend/boyfriend? How many friends do you have (I mean REAL friends that you can count on when you need them)? I personally have 2 that are REAL friends and I'm there for them. These friendships didn't just happen in a week or hanging out 3 times but took a while to develop. Be friends first and if you wouldn't be the person's friend, don't be their lover.

Second, life deals us up's and downs with constant change. It's just a fact of life but it's how we deal with them that sorts the men from the boys. Keeping perspective and being honest with each other is essential for a partnership to work out. With this comes a common word with relationships, COMMUNICATION. You need to communicate clearly at all times with every relationship you're in (professional, personal or otherwise) so you don't harbor animosity or resentment when someone does or says something you have a problem with.

Third, appreciate the differences in both of you and respect them. So many people want people to be a certain way or try to change them to be a mold of what is "perfect" in their mind. This is a set-up for failure. Everyone is different, even if you have things in common, there is no perfect human being. If you think there is, then you should think about why you think someone needs to be a certain way or look a certain way for them to be perfect in your eyes. The media (including Cosmo), a movie you saw as a kid, your father, books and the list goes on for explanations as to why you think people need certain things to be perfect.

It's taken me my whole life to figure out these 3 things and now I finally understand that when I find a woman who understands these things are essential for a relationship to work, I'll marry her.

This is just my but I hope it helps.

Oh and lastly

It takes work by both people and good sex because it's not easy.

Lazy and selfish people are not people who I would hang with and call friends

Who is to say... but I have shared this with many here.. It helps to keep a perspective on relationships in general.

Reason

When someone one is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed Outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or act out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

Season

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real. But, only for a season.

Lifetime

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Why do relationships fail?

1. Lack of a strong foundation (people are very skilled at deluding themselves that compatibility exists when, in fact, it's just physical attraction).

OR

2. The Grass-is-always-greener Syndrome.

Janfriend said:

No gigolo either.

This is all good advice:

bluesbaby said:

CHEECHWIZARD said:

Slave2daGroove said: