JDINTERACTIVE said:

-A man with a pelican on his head is not much of a man, but a pelican with a man on his head is some pelican.


-Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


-Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E".+


-If I were a dog, and you were a flower,
I'd lift up my leg and give you a shower.


-Nice perfume, must you merinate in it?


-An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.


-Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks!


-Masturbation is like procrastination, it feels good till you realize you're fucking yourself...


-Well kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


-Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light


-Guys are like parking spaces, almost all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.



-Whats smooth on the inside and pricks on the outside? A hedgehog.
Whats smooth on the outside and has pricks on the inside? A BMW.



-Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.


-People need to realize that every time they talk about how "fragile" our planet is, it's just like asking outer-space aliens to come invade us



-One of the worst things You can do as an actor, I think, is to forget your lines, and get so flustered you start stabbing the other actors.



-One good thing about Hell at least, is that you can probably pee wherever you want to.


-One night, I was lying in bed looking up at the stars, when suddenly I said to myself, "Hey, where the Hell did my ceiling go?"


-When you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

I hope these jokes are helping everyone who is having a bad day....or pisses you off more so you then attack a co-worker which ever works for you....

-If God is Love, and Love is blind, is Ray Charles God?


-Women: can't live with them, can't herd them all to Canada.


-You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you should never pick your friends nose.


-Everyone has issues except me - I have a damn subscription.


-I don't see what the big deal is with edible underwear... after you wear them a few times, they taste like all the other pairs anyway


-Accept the some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue.


-Of all of those sperm, you were the fastest?!


-When hell freezes over, it will be a pretty cool place to snowboard.


-I'm more confused than a horny bi-sexual in a mass orgy.


-There are 24 cans of beer in a beer case, and 24 hours in a day. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.


-A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.


-80's heavy metal proved that you can be an excellent guitar player and a shitty musician.

Sinister said: