I've been reading a lot of men's and women's dating articles online and most of them suggest to the reader to play hard-to-get to their quarry and that will make the person they want want them more. Now...my feeling is that if everyone took this advice NO ONE would be hooking up! We'd all just be avoiding one another and waiting for the other to make the first move!
Who do you think should do most of the persuing in the beginning of a relationship...man or woman?

Men, always MEN! It's in our genes (jeans?)...we're the HUNTERS and PROVIDERS

Women are the NURTURERS and CARETAKERS...

Don't blame modern man...blame the cavemen!

I say who ever's most interested in the other should do the pursuing, but then that's just common sense. Playing hard to get is always a bad idea because the person could lose interest if you do it wrong.

A guy should let the woman know he's interested and then it's up to her. I feel that if I have to impress a girl first she's simply not interested in me enough for it to work out in the first place, so she might as well look for soemone she does want badly.

LittlePill said:

There's my answer.

But, what happened to just enjoying someone's company and letting nature take its course? It seems that all of these so-called "Love Doctors" are handing out advice that basically boils down to playing hard-to-get.


For men:
http://www.askmen.com/dat...xpert.html

For women:
http://www.therulesbook.com/topten.html

My advice is DON'T play hard to get. If you like someone let them know without throwing your self at them. Just flirt and act coy, we pick up on that stuff. Men aren't as dumb as we sometimes pretend to be.

applekisses said:

Ugh...more games. "The Rules" are fine and dandy for the immature who are just interested in a conquest, but if you're interested in establishing a lasting, meaningful relationship, you'll want to steer far and away from people who are still using these tactics or are still foolish enough to want someone because they appear unavailable; both are signs of insecurity.

Ace said:

That's exactly what I think and why I can't understand why these "experts" are giving out this type of advice.

It's simple, in affairs of the heart, think with your heart.

The guy, unless she is KD..lol

I think it works both ways. If the girl likes a guy.....then let him know it! Same for the guy. Life is too short for these games.

POOK said:

Exactley what I wanted to say.....but you did it in less words.

I am not attracted to guys who pursue me.

I find if you want something to happen you have to make it happen. So many times in my life (mainly cause I'm shy, mind you) I do all the subtle things to let a guy know I'm interested and every single time I finally have to say, hey, I like you, or whatever. If I don't say it, they'd never figure it out. I think both men and women can pursue, but someone's gotta do it.

I will admit, I do get turned off, though, if a guy comes on too strong, particularly if I don't know them well.

Natsume said:

What?

althom said:

you heard me, althom! so your relentless come ons are in vain! it could never work out between us!

robots and humans, pshh...

Shiit4Brains said:

I agree with this....and I'll add, ACT with your heart. It doesn't really matter who makes the first move (men or women) as long as everyone is HONEST about how they feel. I hate it when someone KNOWS you are interested, reaps all the benefits from your attention, but then wants to remain available "just in case" something better comes along. Fuck all the games! You're either in or you're out - follow your heart!

Shiit4Brains said:

If my wife would have played hard-to-get, I probably wouldn't have pursued and eventually married her. I would have taken it as she's not interested and move on. BAD idea, this hard-to-get thing.

Shiit4Brains said:

i think everyone should do like that fad in japan.

where people wear beepers with different settings, like 'let's hook up right now', or 'let's exchange phone numbers and chat' so that when they're in the room with someone like-minded they don't have to make any moves, their equipment sets them up in advance

i just think it would ultimately simplify things.

Playing hard to get does work with certain guys though. The ones who are really goodlooking and they know it , the ones that have been around the block a few times,it confuses the fuck out of them and they do not understand why you are not panting at the sight of them.

Those types of guys are boring as fuck though.

I'd rather just be honest.

XxAxX said:

cool idea

Shiit4Brains said:

Not per se. Love can cloud your judgement and many people keep making the same mistakes over and over by blindly trusting their feelings. You need to find the right balance between what's in your heart and what you mind is saying.

The brave.

PEJ said:

good answer!

J0eyC0c0 said:

I agree.

Also, I think there should be a balance in the persuing as well as in other aspects of the relationship.

2freaky4church1 said:

ah hem if i recall U started it ... if i didn't respond then U wouldn't be goin to the P show in sept....

applekisses said:

That's exactly how I see it... There is no better way of finding a love that can/will lead to a lasting, fulfilling and intimate relationship than by doing just that.

Pursue??...Just let them know in some way how you feel, and see if they respond in a way that says "Keep talking to me...I feel the same way". Emotional honesty is the ONLY way to achieve happiness in love.