Things to do and use while in the kitchen: GO!

daPope said:

Use: Vibrator

Do: You figure it out

use: giant pepper mills

do: self-flagellate

Use : An industrial sized cheese grater
Do : Grate stuff

or in my kitchen :

Use : A very clingy medium sized cat
Do : Trip over the little bastard every time you turn around to fetch the cheese grater

use: giant rolling pins covered in melted butter

do: self-flagellate

USE : Cooker

DO : Burn the kitchen down

Come on now, I've been reading here for a few weeks and I know you can do better; alternative uses for a spatular, uses for Wesson Florence Henderson didn't tell us, be creative!

METALLIC OBJECTS IN THE MICRO-WAVE....PREFERABLY PRINCE CD'S....watch the lights...THE LIGHTS!!!

Use: giant toaster smeared in peanut butter

Do: self-flagellate

USE: butchers Knife

DO: castrate cheating husband