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Thread started 06/23/17 3:47am

stevie8400

A song I wrote and produced!

Hey there !

I've been exploring this forum for a while as a fan of Prince, but have never posted ! I'm a big fan of Prince and used to watch my parents' VHS of Sign Of The Times all the time! Little Red Corvette, Controversy, and Computer Blue are my favourite Prince tracks.

I myself am a singer songwriter and music producer -- I'd love to share some of my music to introduce myself !

Here's some of my songs:

I Met A Libertine (Out In Italy)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-b3CkIP7rY

Young Blood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv-Gp-G4aaw

I'd love to know what fans of an artist I admire think !

Thanks for reading and listening and look forward to posting / replying on the forum smile

From Stephen !

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Reply #1 posted 06/23/17 5:33am

EmmaMcG

I like it. Especially Young Blood. Has a very 80's feel about it.
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Reply #2 posted 06/23/17 7:05pm

RJOrion

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Reply #3 posted 06/24/17 9:05am

TrivialPursuit

avatar

Let's be honest here...

It's just horrid. That wouldn't make it to the
10am Wednesday stage in the parking lot at an opening of a 7-11. The music is stuff I've heard before, but way worse, there's no hook - nothing catchy about it. The vocals are more of a parody or a joke than anything to be taken seriously.

And darlin', you're tone deaf. It happens. Wannabe singers are often tone deaf, and you can't fix that. Singing is not your thing. I know you want it to be, but ....




"eye don’t really care so much what people say about me because it is a reflection of who they r."
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Reply #4 posted 06/24/17 9:15am

RJOrion

TrivialPursuit said:

Let's be honest here...

It's just horrid. That wouldn't make it to the
10am Wednesday stage in the parking lot at an opening of a 7-11. The music is stuff I've heard before, but way worse, there's no hook - nothing catchy about it. The vocals are more of a parody or a joke than anything to be taken seriously.

And darlin', you're tone deaf. It happens. Wannabe singers are often tone deaf, and you can't fix that. Singing is not your thing. I know you want it to be, but ....




accurate and honest assessment...

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Reply #5 posted 06/24/17 11:50am

stevie8400

EmmaMcG said:

I like it. Especially Young Blood. Has a very 80's feel about it.

Ah thanks Emma ! I'm very inspired by 80s music, so guess it comes through in my production smile

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Reply #6 posted 06/24/17 11:50am

stevie8400

Sassy wink

TrivialPursuit said:

Let's be honest here...

It's just horrid. That wouldn't make it to the
10am Wednesday stage in the parking lot at an opening of a 7-11. The music is stuff I've heard before, but way worse, there's no hook - nothing catchy about it. The vocals are more of a parody or a joke than anything to be taken seriously.

And darlin', you're tone deaf. It happens. Wannabe singers are often tone deaf, and you can't fix that. Singing is not your thing. I know you want it to be, but ....




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Reply #7 posted 06/24/17 1:02pm

Dasein

Tough crowd, eh, Stevie?

Well, keep at it, even if we don't like it.

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Reply #8 posted 06/24/17 5:50pm

TrivialPursuit

avatar

stevie8400 said:

Sassy wink


Always some sass, but I wasn't being mean-spirited. I was just being honest. I'm a musician, and write music. But I also know I can't sing despite really wishing I could. The best part of being a musician beyond practicing daily, is knowing what you can't do.

"eye don’t really care so much what people say about me because it is a reflection of who they r."
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Reply #9 posted 06/24/17 11:54pm

thetimefan

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I think there's some positives I like the 80s throwback vibe which is in vogue now and your style is kinda reminiscent of New Romantic stylistically. Vocally I'm going to be honest and say they do need work and you need to find your own voice. I can hear David Bowie style vocal stylings with a more spoken word type tone like he uses on Ashes to Ashes and then switching to a more melodic style. I'm assuming David is an influence along with Prince. I think I'd take the positives out of the criticism too and for a inspiring musician criticism can be hard to take but think of giving it the motivation to succeed. If singing isn't your strong point have lessons or focus more on the songwriting/production side. If music is your passion and your 110% committed to it then I'd say give yourself a set time frame and if you don't progress keep to it as a pastime/hobby. Also although it isn't really posted in maybe add your music to the musicians area of the org. Say 10-12 years ago you'd get some great advice/critique there. I think there's still a few musicians around here on the org so maybe seek out their advice etc.
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Reply #10 posted 06/25/17 12:07am

stevie8400

TrivialPursuit said:

stevie8400 said:

Sassy wink


Always some sass, but I wasn't being mean-spirited. I was just being honest. I'm a musician, and write music. But I also know I can't sing despite really wishing I could. The best part of being a musician beyond practicing daily, is knowing what you can't do.

Well that's fair enough, but I think you should never limit yourself from trying/experimenting (in art) -- personally I think we probably have different musical sensibilities as the gruff and tensioned aspects of my voice for example are intentional.

My favourtie vocalists tend to not be "strong" voices but unique ones, like Kate Bush, David Bowie, Bryan Ferry, Madonna, Belinda Carlisle, Roy Orbison, Elvis. I tend to favour character and what the voice adds to the story rather than purely vocal ability.

I wouldn't say I have the strongest voice however I think the limitations add a certain naivity and endearing aspect to the music, and I don't subscribe to the opinion that someone "can't sing" -- I think everyone has a voice.

I appreciate your opinion though and perhaps there are things I can work on.

Tetering on mean-spirited were all the imaginative embellishments wink

Did you listen to my second song?

[Edited 6/25/17 0:09am]

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Reply #11 posted 06/25/17 12:13am

stevie8400

thetimefan said:

I think there's some positives I like the 80s throwback vibe which is in vogue now and your style is kinda reminiscent of New Romantic stylistically. Vocally I'm going to be honest and say they do need work and you need to find your own voice. I can hear David Bowie style vocal stylings with a more spoken word type tone like he uses on Ashes to Ashes and then switching to a more melodic style. I'm assuming David is an influence along with Prince. I think I'd take the positives out of the criticism too and for a inspiring musician criticism can be hard to take but think of giving it the motivation to succeed. If singing isn't your strong point have lessons or focus more on the songwriting/production side. If music is your passion and your 110% committed to it then I'd say give yourself a set time frame and if you don't progress keep to it as a pastime/hobby. Also although it isn't really posted in maybe add your music to the musicians area of the org. Say 10-12 years ago you'd get some great advice/critique there. I think there's still a few musicians around here on the org so maybe seek out their advice etc.

Yes David Bowie and Prince are some influences smile and I love the new romantic era yes.

Thanks for the feedback I definitely think there are things I can work on with my voice -- but I am quite happy with the way they are in the 2 songs I posted !

I like vocalists like Kate Bush, Bryan Ferry, Belinda Carlisle, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, and Elvis !

I will listen over the songs again and try and objectively listen -- whether we have stylistic differences or if there are things in the vocals that are too dissonant or distratcing to listen to the song properly.

[Edited 6/25/17 0:19am]

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Reply #12 posted 06/26/17 3:59am

Chancellor

avatar

I listened to Libertine and it definitely has that Classic 80's sound...In my opinion the song would fall under Alternative Rock...I'm not a fan of Alt-Rock but I LOVE the Videos for some of the Alt-Rock songs...Alternative Music Videos are so freaking creative and the Director draws you into the story and the Song...

Libertine should be a featured track on a Monster movie like the Vampire franchise Underworld..Libertine would also be great for the movie John Wick 3...

You're gonna get tough critics becuz Orgers are focused on their favorite kind of music & vocals. Most of the Org members are not into Alternative music...Your style of music goes right over their head and they refuse to really listen and be open minded...

The music you Write, Sing & Produce is what I hear on movie soundtracks...Keep doing what you're doing...

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Reply #13 posted 06/26/17 6:03am

Horsefeathers

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Reminds me of Tay Zonday. That is not a criticism. Just an observation.
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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Reply #14 posted 06/26/17 12:55pm

Phishanga

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Well, shit, I definitely won't share anything I did here. I'm easily hurt. lol

Hey loudmouth, shut the fuck up, right?
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Reply #15 posted 06/26/17 1:37pm

Dasein

Phishanga said:

Well, shit, I definitely won't share anything I did here. I'm easily hurt. lol


Post your stuff in the Org Artist forum where people are a little bit more tactful with their critiques
as I actually enjoy listening to Org artists, being one myself!

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Reply #16 posted 06/26/17 2:46pm

stevie8400

Chancellor said:

I listened to Libertine and it definitely has that Classic 80's sound...In my opinion the song would fall under Alternative Rock...I'm not a fan of Alt-Rock but I LOVE the Videos for some of the Alt-Rock songs...Alternative Music Videos are so freaking creative and the Director draws you into the story and the Song...

Libertine should be a featured track on a Monster movie like the Vampire franchise Underworld..Libertine would also be great for the movie John Wick 3...

You're gonna get tough critics becuz Orgers are focused on their favorite kind of music & vocals. Most of the Org members are not into Alternative music...Your style of music goes right over their head and they refuse to really listen and be open minded...

The music you Write, Sing & Produce is what I hear on movie soundtracks...Keep doing what you're doing...

Ah well thanks very much Chancellor !! Yeah I think there is definitely a cinematic element to my music ! Interesting -- alternative rock -- I can see what you mean -- I haven't really thought what genre my music would fall under aside from the 1980s influence which you picked up !

Your opinion seems very objective -- and I am surprised that the music would go right over their heads -- as Prince is a very experimental musician, sonically let alone visually!!!

There are definitely things I need to work on but I took those other comments with a pinch of salt lol --

It'd be my dream to have my songs featured in a vampire movie !!!

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Reply #17 posted 06/27/17 5:38am

noobman

Whoa critics here are harsh!

I thought these were pretty cool.

Only suggestion I'd make is to "define" the vocal melodies stronger. They feel too "talky" meaning... you're just talking the words without a defined musical note... like spoken word. I think some spoken word parts are cool, but not for the whole song.

I'd say, play the vocal melody on an instrument like the piano, and then try to get your voice to hit those notes.

Also some vocal harmonies would be cool (I didn't hear any, I might have missed it)

But still the singing is a lot better than what I've heard on the radio personally. At least it's unique instead of the cookie-cutter singing in current pop.

BTW I'm curious. What equipment are you using (synths etc.). Is it all software? Thanks.

[Edited 6/27/17 5:39am]

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Reply #18 posted 06/27/17 9:04am

paisleypark4

avatar

I Met A Libertine Out In Italy is nice. The production is actually pretty good just missing some more elements.

Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records.
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Reply #19 posted 06/27/17 4:29pm

214

noobman said:

Whoa critics here are harsh!

I thought these were pretty cool.

Only suggestion I'd make is to "define" the vocal melodies stronger. They feel too "talky" meaning... you're just talking the words without a defined musical note... like spoken word. I think some spoken word parts are cool, but not for the whole song.

I'd say, play the vocal melody on an instrument like the piano, and then try to get your voice to hit those notes.

Also some vocal harmonies would be cool (I didn't hear any, I might have missed it)

But still the singing is a lot better than what I've heard on the radio personally. At least it's unique instead of the cookie-cutter singing in current pop.

BTW I'm curious. What equipment are you using (synths etc.). Is it all software? Thanks.

[Edited 6/27/17 5:39am]

These are the kind of criticism that helps to improve, the constructive ones. wink

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Reply #20 posted 06/28/17 9:16pm

RJOrion

214 said:

noobman said:

Whoa critics here are harsh!

I thought these were pretty cool.

Only suggestion I'd make is to "define" the vocal melodies stronger. They feel too "talky" meaning... you're just talking the words without a defined musical note... like spoken word. I think some spoken word parts are cool, but not for the whole song.

I'd say, play the vocal melody on an instrument like the piano, and then try to get your voice to hit those notes.

Also some vocal harmonies would be cool (I didn't hear any, I might have missed it)

But still the singing is a lot better than what I've heard on the radio personally. At least it's unique instead of the cookie-cutter singing in current pop.

BTW I'm curious. What equipment are you using (synths etc.). Is it all software? Thanks.

[Edited 6/27/17 5:39am]

These are the kind of criticism that helps to improve, the constructive ones. wink

the only way to improve those songs is to bleach out the vocals and let them be instrumentals... lets keep it 100... some things you can improve with hard work and dedication...but some things are just better left alone...or left to those who are/were given the gift of music...

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Reply #21 posted 06/29/17 7:16am

noobman

RJOrion said:

214 said:

These are the kind of criticism that helps to improve, the constructive ones. wink

the only way to improve those songs is to bleach out the vocals and let them be instrumentals... lets keep it 100... some things you can improve with hard work and dedication...but some things are just better left alone...or left to those who are/were given the gift of music...

Singing can't be improved with hard work?

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Reply #22 posted 06/29/17 9:44am

RJOrion

noobman said:



RJOrion said:




214 said:



These are the kind of criticism that helps to improve, the constructive ones. wink





the only way to improve those songs is to bleach out the vocals and let them be instrumentals... lets keep it 100... some things you can improve with hard work and dedication...but some things are just better left alone...or left to those who are/were given the gift of music...




Singing can't be improved with hard work?





he's not even singing though... he's just making sounds with incoherent tones...he's "singing" in keys that dont even exist...
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Reply #23 posted 07/01/17 9:06am

stevie8400

noobman said:

Whoa critics here are harsh!

I thought these were pretty cool.

Only suggestion I'd make is to "define" the vocal melodies stronger. They feel too "talky" meaning... you're just talking the words without a defined musical note... like spoken word. I think some spoken word parts are cool, but not for the whole song.

I'd say, play the vocal melody on an instrument like the piano, and then try to get your voice to hit those notes.

Also some vocal harmonies would be cool (I didn't hear any, I might have missed it)

But still the singing is a lot better than what I've heard on the radio personally. At least it's unique instead of the cookie-cutter singing in current pop.

BTW I'm curious. What equipment are you using (synths etc.). Is it all software? Thanks.

[Edited 6/27/17 5:39am]

Hey thanks for the constructive criticism smile

I see what you mean yes I was going for a half-spoken word half-sung melody style... but perhaps neglected the melodic aspects too much in focusing on intonations etc !

I use logic pro X -- and the instruments are all software yes! There's a selection of instruments you can choose from in different categories, and I play each instrument via a keyboard plugged into my laptop

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Reply #24 posted 07/01/17 9:07am

stevie8400

paisleypark4 said:

I Met A Libertine Out In Italy is nice. The production is actually pretty good just missing some more elements.

Ah thanks very much paisleypark !! What particular elements do you think are missing??

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Reply #25 posted 07/01/17 9:12am

stevie8400

RJOrion said:

noobman said:

Singing can't be improved with hard work?

he's not even singing though... he's just making sounds with incoherent tones...he's "singing" in keys that dont even exist...

I deliberately stray from the melody intentionally .... for a spoken narrative feel.

That's a very regimented way of looking at music, what about when a singer bends their voice from one note to the next? That's technically going off-key for a while before it returns to the note that fits the chord.

What do you think of the singer Bryan Ferry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9EbR0ckb40

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Reply #26 posted 07/01/17 2:54pm

RJOrion

stevie8400 said:



RJOrion said:


noobman said:



Singing can't be improved with hard work?





he's not even singing though... he's just making sounds with incoherent tones...he's "singing" in keys that dont even exist...


I deliberately stray from the melody intentionally .... for a spoken narrative feel.



That's a very regimented way of looking at music, what about when a singer bends their voice from one note to the next? That's technically going off-key for a while before it returns to the note that fits the chord.



What do you think of the singer Bryan Ferry?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9EbR0ckb40




bryan ferry sings offkey also...so does Bowie, Dylan, Lou Reed, etc...they all sound horrible...that kind of tonal distortion may seem artistic to some, but not at all to me... it hurts...the true greats like Luther, MJ, Prince, Teddy, Maurice White,etc.. would never allow such audio confusion to be recorded for human consumption...most artists that sing offkey do it because they cant help it...do u have any songs where you are in agreement with the accompanying instrumental?...id like to hear it...
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Reply #27 posted 07/02/17 12:32am

stevie8400

RJOrion said:

stevie8400 said:

I deliberately stray from the melody intentionally .... for a spoken narrative feel.

That's a very regimented way of looking at music, what about when a singer bends their voice from one note to the next? That's technically going off-key for a while before it returns to the note that fits the chord.

What do you think of the singer Bryan Ferry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9EbR0ckb40

bryan ferry sings offkey also...so does Bowie, Dylan, Lou Reed, etc...they all sound horrible...that kind of tonal distortion may seem artistic to some, but not at all to me... it hurts...the true greats like Luther, MJ, Prince, Teddy, Maurice White,etc.. would never allow such audio confusion to be recorded for human consumption...most artists that sing offkey do it because they cant help it...do u have any songs where you are in agreement with the accompanying instrumental?...id like to hear it...

Interesting -- so you find them all terrible then lol. That's fair enough everyone has their own taste. I'm surprised though that you and Trivial Pursuit criticised the songs I posted as objectively terrible, despite knowing/disregarding there is a whole genre of music that incorporates this style of singing !

Here's a cover where I sing according to the melody:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZXCwDVfBEE

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Reply #28 posted 07/02/17 2:15pm

214

RJOrion said:

stevie8400 said:

I deliberately stray from the melody intentionally .... for a spoken narrative feel.

That's a very regimented way of looking at music, what about when a singer bends their voice from one note to the next? That's technically going off-key for a while before it returns to the note that fits the chord.

What do you think of the singer Bryan Ferry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9EbR0ckb40

bryan ferry sings offkey also...so does Bowie, Dylan, Lou Reed, etc...they all sound horrible...that kind of tonal distortion may seem artistic to some, but not at all to me... it hurts...the true greats like Luther, MJ, Prince, Teddy, Maurice White,etc.. would never allow such audio confusion to be recorded for human consumption...most artists that sing offkey do it because they cant help it...do u have any songs where you are in agreement with the accompanying instrumental?...id like to hear it...

Bob Dylan is one of the true greats.

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Reply #29 posted 07/02/17 6:43pm

mbdtyler

I listened to most of the first track, and it's not nearly as bad as the first couple of commenters made it out to be. There are definitely elements that could use some refining, but I think you're headed in a cool direction. I can hear a bit of Bowie and Nick Cave in there and I dig the 80's influence on the production. Keep writing and practicing and making cool tunes!

ps: I think a lot of people here are spoiled by how immensely talented (on a technical level) Prince was at everything he did, especially singing. But not everything has to sound as melodically precise as what Prince did. Sometimes it's punk rock to say 'fuck the conventions of popular music' and just do what you want to do, whatever makes you happy. Who gives a shit if it's not 100% in the right key?

[Edited 7/2/17 18:45pm]

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