violetcrush said:

herb4 said:

Chris Rock once famously said "A man is basically as faithful as his OPTIONS". Prince had plenty of options. Women were probably throwing themselves at him every 10 minutes.

Yes, especially during the 80's, but all through the years. "Groupies" are always there to offer their services too. Although, I think certain male celebrities managed to avoid it, depending on the size of their libido. Paul Newman was famously quoted when asked about the women who would throw themselves at him: "why would I want to go out for hamburger when I can get steak at home?" - referring to his wife Joanne Woodward.

Ha! Wives are steak, hunh? Hahah! That's funny.

Strive said:

It's easier when you understand that Prince was a human being. We all aspire to be better than our basest instincts but sometimes we fail to reach the bar we set. I'm sure some of it was him lying to himself (I'm not an addict, I need these to play/function) and some of it was temptation getting the best of him. Sex, music and religion seemed like the only way he could connect with people.

"Make the rules, then break them all cause u are the best" -

williamb610 said:

violetcrush said:

Yes, especially during the 80's, but all through the years. "Groupies" are always there to offer their services too. Although, I think certain male celebrities managed to avoid it, depending on the size of their libido. Paul Newman was famously quoted when asked about the women who would throw themselves at him: "why would I want to go out for hamburger when I can get steak at home?" - referring to his wife Joanne Woodward.

Ha! Wives are steak, hunh? Hahah! That's funny.

Well, to him his wife was, which is wonderful, I think. They were happily married until he passed. Very sweet.....and rare, unfortunately.

Krystalkisses said:

Ok so I was always under the impression Prince was a God fearing man. I always felt that was sincere but now I'm not so sure. Seeing him onstage praising the Bible and a Christian way of living and then who knows if he ever stopped his Sodom and Gomorrah lifestyle? He obviously was using narcotics during his JW days and probably Cocaine and X too. It is all so confusing. I don't want to be judgemental as we all have struggles in life just trying to understand if it was all fake. [Edited 7/4/18 10:41am] [Edited 7/4/18 10:42am]

Prince was always religious to a degree and spiritual (God was always part of his music), but I think his pull toward JW was a result of his grief after losing his child. I think he was very vulnerable, easily influenced, and was looking for something to ease the pain. Larry Graham entered the picture at that time, and began teaching him about the JW religion.

*

There is no concrete evidence that Prince was regularly using Cocaine or other recreational drugs. The pain meds came into play as a result of his physical pain. In order to continue to perform at the level and pace that he wanted, he needed help to ease the aches and pains.

*

I think his lyrics and music were true to his feelings and beliefs at the time the songs were written. He wrote honestly and from the heart. But, like everyone, he no doubt struggled with his convictions vs. the temptation that comes with living that lifestyle. Even non-celebrities with "regular" lives have the same struggles.

[Edited 7/4/18 11:42am]

Krystalkisses said:

Strive said:

It's easier when you understand that Prince was a human being. We all aspire to be better than our basest instincts but sometimes we fail to reach the bar we set. I'm sure some of it was him lying to himself (I'm not an addict, I need these to play/function) and some of it was temptation getting the best of him. Sex, music and religion seemed like the only way he could connect with people. "Make the rules, then break them all cause u are the best" -

And I truly do have compassion for that. Especially in his world...alot of temptations , a lot of testing...it would be hard for most people to navigate...i guess in a way it is hard for me to even think of Prince as an actual HUMAN...he was such a music icon and onstage he almost appeared otherworldly with his gifts and presence....but sometimes i wonder if Prince really was a horrible person , with no real virtue and enjoyed playing us all, Just observe some of the women he spent time with (not all) some of them really lacked character, were crazy, power hungry themselves, what does that say about the type of man HE was? I think maybe anyone who lusts for fame like that ...there is something else going on there. But i dont know ...he is still a mystery.

Did you happen to listen to the interview Suannah Melvoin did with Toure? I think she summed it up best when asked about who Prince really was - she stated, "on top of all of the sexual mystique, he was just a sweet boy". I love that quote so much. And, obviously he was emotionally complicated and did partake in many sexual affairs, but at his core he was a good guy and tried to do better.

violetcrush said:

Krystalkisses said:

violetcrush said:

Did you happen to listen to the interview Suannah Melvoin did with Toure? I think she summed it up best when asked about who Prince really was - she stated, "on top of all of the sexual mystique, he was just a sweet boy". I love that quote so much. And, obviously he was emotionally complicated and did partake in many sexual affairs, but at his core he was a good guy and tried to do better.

Yes. I did listen to that. It was a powerful interview I'm just disillusioned at the moment.

Awww, don't be He was a good guy at heart. He tried. While I do think his feelings were the most intense with her I do believe he loved Susan, Vanity, Mayte, Manuela, and the others that he had relationships with through the years.

i think the lesson for me is that he gave us it all in one, his genius and his humanity(flaws). We

should want him to be human, it makes his struggle more intimate to us all. That he was one of

us ultimatly. talented and human. we peered at the talent mostly and avoided the humanity.

it was always there, his humanity. Because we didn't much bother with his human side that

is who we are aquainting ourselves with now, here in this space, post 4/21. i will say it again

he was a simple human at heart. i said it here once before and it was taken kinda like i was

being derogatory. But as someone up above quoted SM on Toure, he was just a sweet boy.

and i will add "simply" a sweet boy who was talented.

herb4 said:

Chris Rock once famously said "A man is basically as faithful as his OPTIONS". Prince had plenty of options. Women were probably throwing themselves at him every 10 minutes.

always loved his honesty in that quote.

purplefam99 said:

i think the lesson for me is that he gave us it all in one, his genius and his humanity(flaws). We

should want him to be human, it makes his struggle more intimate to us all. That he was one of

us ultimatly. talented and human. we peered at the talent mostly and avoided the humanity.

it was always there, his humanity. Because we didn't much bother with his human side that

is who we are aquainting ourselves with now, here in this space, post 4/21. i will say it again

he was a simple human at heart. i said it here once before and it was taken kinda like i was

being derogatory. But as someone up above quoted SM on Toure, he was just a sweet boy.

and i will add "simply" a sweet boy who was talented.

Agreed. As hard as Prince worked to bring his amazing music and talent to the world, he worked equally as hard to maintain an image of an "other worldly" flawless figure, and many fans who saw him that way have a hard time seeing him as simply a very talented human being who had struggles and vices just like all of us do.

People can be soo harsh when you don't live up to their standards. Remember when that picture of P without his makeup on was circulated around 2011. He was what? 52 years old, maybe looked 45 at most. People on that ONTD site were harsh as hell, telling him to get his mascara and foundation back on. Dude, he was 52. Remember people speculating on this site whether his afro was a wig. Without his perfect appearance maybe to him, he would have just seemed like a short, middle-aged man with gray hair and crows feet trying to sing songs about sex and passion. I sometimes wonder if Prince had been able to accomplish another album (of his own liking) that sold as well as Purple Rain whether he could have felt more comfortable with resting and being in his natural state around fans.

Exactly. He didn't have to harass or push. That is why I don't buy any woman's claim that they didn't know that Prince was probably not a one-woman guy. He was human. he was adored by women and women were constantly around. Sometimes, I think he fed them a line of bull. But sometimes, I think he really did try to be faithful but then the woman he preferred would say something or do something to make him doubt them or doubt the longevity of their relationship and then he would be back to letting temptation get the best of him and being deceptive. Its funny that Mayte stated that she was one the one who said to him that I "Love you but I don't trust you anymore". I don't doubt that she said that (although how she came into the picture in the first place should have given her some clues about his issues where this issue was concerned) , but I think prince probably didn't trust the women around him either at times.. NOt necessarily because he thought they were cheating...I think he doubted their intentions for being with him in the first place.. Unfortunately, it was a catch 22..only being able to (or confident enought) to connect to people through musical or artistic commonalities means that eventually you might doubt whether they are there for you at all or simply because of their musical/career ambitions.

purplefam99 said:

herb4 said:

Chris Rock once famously said "A man is basically as faithful as his OPTIONS". Prince had plenty of options. Women were probably throwing themselves at him every 10 minutes.

always loved his honesty in that quote.

[Edited 7/4/18 23:37pm]

SkipperLove said:

Exactly. He didn't have to harass or push. That is why I don't buy any woman's claim that they didn't know that Prince was probably not a one-woman guy. He was human. he was adored by women and women were constantly around. Sometimes, I think he fed them a line of bull. But sometimes, I think he really did try to be faithful but then the woman he preferred would say something or do something to make him doubt them or doubt the longevity of their relationship and then he would be back to letting temptation get the best of him and being deceptive. Its funny that Mayte stated that she was one the one who said to him that I "Love you but I don't trust you anymore". I don't doubt that she said that (although how she came into the picture in the first place should have given her some clues about his issues where this issue was concerned) , but I think prince probably didn't trust the women around him either at times.. NOt necessarily because he thought they were cheating...I think he doubted their intentions for being with him in the first place.. Unfortunately, it was a catch 22..only being able to (or confident enought) to connect to people through musical or artistic commonalities means that eventually you might doubt whether they are there for you at all or simply because of their musical/career ambitions.

purplefam99 said:

always loved his honesty in that quote.

[Edited 7/4/18 23:37pm]

Nice words SkipperLove! That's some good insight, in my opinion. Women were constantly around P; as a man, beautiful women can be oh so tempting.

SkipperLove said:

SkipperLove said:

Exactly. He didn't have to harass or push. That is why I don't buy any woman's claim that they didn't know that Prince was probably not a one-woman guy. He was human. he was adored by women and women were constantly around. Sometimes, I think he fed them a line of bull. But sometimes, I think he really did try to be faithful but then the woman he preferred would say something or do something to make him doubt them or doubt the longevity of their relationship and then he would be back to letting temptation get the best of him and being deceptive. Its funny that Mayte stated that she was one the one who said to him that I "Love you but I don't trust you anymore". I don't doubt that she said that (although how she came into the picture in the first place should have given her some clues about his issues where this issue was concerned) , but I think prince probably didn't trust the women around him either at times.. NOt necessarily because he thought they were cheating...I think he doubted their intentions for being with him in the first place.. Unfortunately, it was a catch 22..only being able to (or confident enought) to connect to people through musical or artistic commonalities means that eventually you might doubt whether they are there for you at all or simply because of their musical/career ambitions.

purplefam99 said:

always loved his honesty in that quote.

[Edited 7/4/18 23:37pm]

For the song "I Love U But I Don't Trust U Anymore" - I took that as coming from Prince's perspective. The lyric, "what happened to the ring I gave you? what am I to assume?" That would have been coming from Prince. When he sang the song on the last P&M tour it was definitely from his perspective, and he referenced someone from the 80's.

violetcrush said:

purplefam99 said:

violetcrush said:

I think it was a bit more complicated with Prince. He had pretty major control issues with regard to everything in his life - especially relationships with women. Mayte was way too young and very easily controlled. Vanity and Susannah were more mature and not easily controlled, which caused conflict. Wendy stated that he expected his girlfriend to be monogamous, but that rule did not apply to him. Regarding his appearance, I think it came down to him not wanting to be vulnerable in any way, including with his appearance. He could not be a "normal" guy.

Best advice my mama ever gave me. Never wear makeup everyday Because you will start to not like what you look like without it And the same is true for people looking at you. Always be at home Without it and then you will never forget or dislike who you really are.

I like seeing the earlier pics of Prince - prior to the 1999 tour - where he had not yet gone full scale with the eye and face makeup. I think later on he really did just want to hide the aging process. I think in his mind he was still that 25 year old guy

[Edited 7/5/18 9:06am]

williamb610 said:

SkipperLove said:

Exactly. He didn't have to harass or push. That is why I don't buy any woman's claim that they didn't know that Prince was probably not a one-woman guy. He was human. he was adored by women and women were constantly around. Sometimes, I think he fed them a line of bull. But sometimes, I think he really did try to be faithful but then the woman he preferred would say something or do something to make him doubt them or doubt the longevity of their relationship and then he would be back to letting temptation get the best of him and being deceptive. Its funny that Mayte stated that she was one the one who said to him that I "Love you but I don't trust you anymore". I don't doubt that she said that (although how she came into the picture in the first place should have given her some clues about his issues where this issue was concerned) , but I think prince probably didn't trust the women around him either at times.. NOt necessarily because he thought they were cheating...I think he doubted their intentions for being with him in the first place.. Unfortunately, it was a catch 22..only being able to (or confident enought) to connect to people through musical or artistic commonalities means that eventually you might doubt whether they are there for you at all or simply because of their musical/career ambitions.

[Edited 7/4/18 23:37pm]

Nice words SkipperLove! That's some good insight, in my opinion. Women were constantly around P; as a man, beautiful women can be oh so tempting.

Who-ohh, self-projection alert.
The "oh so" is an extrapolation.

violetcrush said:

williamb610 said:

SkipperLove said:

Exactly. He didn't have to harass or push. That is why I don't buy any woman's claim that they didn't know that Prince was probably not a one-woman guy. He was human. he was adored by women and women were constantly around. Sometimes, I think he fed them a line of bull. But sometimes, I think he really did try to be faithful but then the woman he preferred would say something or do something to make him doubt them or doubt the longevity of their relationship and then he would be back to letting temptation get the best of him and being deceptive. Its funny that Mayte stated that she was one the one who said to him that I "Love you but I don't trust you anymore". I don't doubt that she said that (although how she came into the picture in the first place should have given her some clues about his issues where this issue was concerned) , but I think prince probably didn't trust the women around him either at times.. NOt necessarily because he thought they were cheating...I think he doubted their intentions for being with him in the first place.. Unfortunately, it was a catch 22..only being able to (or confident enought) to connect to people through musical or artistic commonalities means that eventually you might doubt whether they are there for you at all or simply because of their musical/career ambitions.

[Edited 7/4/18 23:37pm]

Nice words SkipperLove! That's some good insight, in my opinion. Women were constantly around P; as a man, beautiful women can be oh so tempting.

From Prince's "What Do You Want Me To Do?" 2004:

*

I see you picked me out from the crowd
Could it be the way I play guitar?
Master of the soft, not too loud
One day maybe I will be a star
I see you picked me out like you want something
Shame on you babe, can't you see this ring?

*

And of course, we can't forget "Temptation" 1984:

*

Again, always honest about his thoughts and life in his lyrics

violetcrush said:

williamb610 said:

Nice words SkipperLove! That's some good insight, in my opinion. Women were constantly around P; as a man, beautiful women can be oh so tempting.

From Prince's "What Do You Want Me To Do?" 2004:

*

I see you picked me out from the crowd
Could it be the way I play guitar?
Master of the soft, not too loud
One day maybe I will be a star
I see you picked me out like you want something
Shame on you babe, can't you see this ring?

*

And of course, we can't forget "Temptation" 1984:

Sex
Temptation
Lust
Pop go mama

Everybody on this earth has got a vice
And mine, little darlin', mine is the opposite of ice
Mine is the running hot water of the daughter of morality
In other words, this little prince thinks a lot about you, see?
Baby, baby, baby
I'm guilty in the first degree

Temptation
Working my body with a hot flash of animal lust
Temptation
All my fingers in the pool go splash we must

Everybody in this room
Everybody in this room has got an urge
What's yours, baby?
Mine is temptation, it reigns at a party where lovers splurge
Pop go mama when daddy gets a little to much
You know what I'm talkin' 'bout?
Purple electricity whenever our bodies touch
Ooh baby, I love it when our bodies touch

*

Again, always honest about his thoughts and life in his lyrics

You can't put the catholic guilt aside.
He almost got emasculated for Temptation.
God has him by the balls when he squeaks the way he does in the coda.
Was Camille an eunuch?

It's hard to grasp he was fed up with the PR Tour.
The rehearsals, 1st Avenue show, the soundchecks, they're so good.
And the theatrics of the concert! From what I heard, they're never quite the same.
Prince was free to improvise, and it's got him calling God bro', showing his ass...
This was not in the movie, and it was so bold to put up with the question of good and evil,
to casual pop-corn stadium eaters (the last third of the audience), but the kids in America got it.

Intellectual trivia: Prince introduced recitativo
in pop music concerts. Before him, it was just "Hey Miami, good to see you",
or "we're the XXXXX, and we're happy to be here" (I bet), or "do you feel good tonight?" routine.
Prince has the balls not only to improvise interplay with the public,
but even with God, and the intimacy of their conversation is in the wide open.
And not just for thirty seconds. You dive in or you don't.

Seeing Prince live: he grabs you by the throat and licks your eardrums
until you ask yourself a bunch of questions.
First about women, then about God.
"Same thing, your Honor", objected the Sufragette.
"I just want my rib back, judge" said Joe Di Maggio.

Prince pushed Rock'n'Roll back in spiritual territories.
"God" is a Gospel. To play a B-Side right in the middle of that Tour,
to bring back the spiritual question to the masses without forcing it,
to remind you stuff like consequences of actions under such naive, fun and accessible form,
that's a great achievement, and Lovesexy pushed the concept to its limits.
Maybe pushed it too far. Icarus got burned (out), grew black wings, and flew back into its cave.
Even the Blonde Angel could not reach him there.

[Edited 7/5/18 22:27pm]

bonatoc said:

violetcrush said:

From Prince's "What Do You Want Me To Do?" 2004:

*

I see you picked me out from the crowd
Could it be the way I play guitar?
Master of the soft, not too loud
One day maybe I will be a star
I see you picked me out like you want something
Shame on you babe, can't you see this ring?

*

And of course, we can't forget "Temptation" 1984:

Sex
Temptation
Lust
Pop go mama

Everybody on this earth has got a vice
And mine, little darlin', mine is the opposite of ice
Mine is the running hot water of the daughter of morality
In other words, this little prince thinks a lot about you, see?
Baby, baby, baby
I'm guilty in the first degree

Temptation
Working my body with a hot flash of animal lust
Temptation
All my fingers in the pool go splash we must

Everybody in this room
Everybody in this room has got an urge
What's yours, baby?
Mine is temptation, it reigns at a party where lovers splurge
Pop go mama when daddy gets a little to much
You know what I'm talkin' 'bout?
Purple electricity whenever our bodies touch
Ooh baby, I love it when our bodies touch

*

Again, always honest about his thoughts and life in his lyrics

You can't put the catholic guilt aside.
He almost got emasculated for Temptation.
God has him by the balls when he squeaks the way he does in the coda.
Was Camille an eunuch?

It's hard to grasp he was fed up with the PR Tour.
The rehearsals, 1st Avenue show, the soundchecks, they're so good.
And the theatrics of the concert! From what I heard, they're never quite the same.
Prince was free to improvise, and it's got him calling God bro', showing his ass...
This was not in the movie, and it was so bold to put up with the question of good and evil,
to casual pop-corn stadium eaters (the last third of the audience), but the kids in America got it.

Intellectual trivia: Prince introduced recitativo
in pop music concerts. Before him, it was just "Hey Miami, good to see you",
or "we're the XXXXX, and we're happy to be here" (I bet), or "do you feel good tonight?" routine.
Prince has the balls not only to improvise interplay with the public,
but even with God, and the intimacy of their conversation is in the wide open.
And not just for thirty seconds. You dive in or you don't.

Seeing Prince live: he grabs you by the throat and licks your eardrums
until you ask yourself a bunch of questions.
First about women, then about God.
"Same thing, your Honor", objected the Sufragette.
"I just want my rib back, judge" said Joe Di Maggio.

Prince pushed Rock'n'Roll back in spiritual territories.
"God" is a Gospel. To play a B-Side right in the middle of that Tour,
to bring back the spiritual question to the masses without forcing it,
to remind you stuff like consequences of actions under such naive, fun and accessible form,
that's a great achievement, and Lovesexy pushed the concept to its limits.
Maybe pushed it too far. Icarus got burned (out), grew black wings, and flew back into its cave.
Even the Blonde Angel could not reach him there.

[Edited 7/5/18 22:27pm]

Not sure about Camille as an "eunuch", but I know that during one of his online chats (I think, or I had read it in one of the Biographies) a fan stated his Brother thought that "Camille" was actually inspired by the 19th century French Hermaphrodite Herculine Barbin, to which Prince replied, " your Brother is quite smart", or something to that effect. So it seems that was the inspiration, assuming Prince was responding honestly.

*

Based on what I have read via Alan Light's book, and interviews with the band members, Prince for the most part, followed the same song sequence for the majority of PR concerts, but he did have room to improvise on Baby I'm A Star, which was played toward the end of the show. Also, on encores he would occasionally do new material. The bulk of the shows were the same line-up. As Alan Leeds stated, they had been playing these songs for over a year by the time the tour started, and Prince had already moved on to the next thing. No doubt it was exciting and fun the first couple of months, but I can understand the redundancy of it all after a period of time. They were playing multiple shows in the same cities, and even matinee shows in order to cover the demand for tickets, which had to get old for him.

*

Yes, I agree it was completely amazing that Prince had the ability to situate a "gospel" flavored song in the middle of a rock concert. I think the appeal was that he was able to do it in a very tantalizing and interesting way for the audience. Also, I believe he's the only one who has recited the Lord's Prayer in the middle of a rock song . However, it seems he took it a level or two too far on LoveSexy. It went from a brief tantalizing and interesting piece during a show to a lengthy musical 'sermon" covering half of his show.

[Edited 7/6/18 13:44pm]

violetcrush said:

Krystalkisses said:

violetcrush said:

Yes, Jill stayed around as a "side" chick for quite a long time. I have no doubt that there were many not-so-great "groupie" encounters with Prince! In the published article "Prince In the 90's: An Oral History", one of his managers was interviewed, and he said at one point he had to have a talk with Prince to say, "look man, you have got to stop doing A&R with your dick!" Apparently, he would go out clubbing, meet a girl, and bring her back to PP for some late night fun in the studio, which would usually include recording songs. Another guy has a YT video posted about his time working at PP in the mid-90's. He said there was a regular group of very attractive girls who would frequent PP and "wander" around. They had pagers, and while he would be talking to them they would get paged and say, "oh, we have to go now" and would disappear through a door. Prince clearly had an uncontrollable libido

Sometimes I wonder if Prince felt like he was a sex addict and that was part of his reason for his JW conversion and also his attempt at celibacy in his last years.

He saw sex as divine, as spiritual. Something he had to live and share as it came from God, like his music.

Personally, I felt that he had an underlying shame issue , something to do with true intimacy, however, that wouldn't stop him from living what God had given him.

I don't think it was just 'control' issues with Prince. But control issues and trust issues are almost like flip sides of the same coin. IN the questlove interview with his manager, Ruth, they tried to implied something was due to his being control freak, she sort of corrected them by saying it was more about his 'trust' issues.

violetcrush said:

SkipperLove said:

People can be soo harsh when you don't live up to their standards. Remember when that picture of P without his makeup on was circulated around 2011. He was what? 52 years old, maybe looked 45 at most. People on that ONTD site were harsh as hell, telling him to get his mascara and foundation back on. Dude, he was 52. Remember people speculating on this site whether his afro was a wig. Without his perfect appearance maybe to him, he would have just seemed like a short, middle-aged man with gray hair and crows feet trying to sing songs about sex and passion. I sometimes wonder if Prince had been able to accomplish another album (of his own liking) that sold as well as Purple Rain whether he could have felt more comfortable with resting and being in his natural state around fans.

I think it was a bit more complicated with Prince. He had pretty major control issues with regard to everything in his life - especially relationships with women. Mayte was way too young and very easily controlled. Vanity and Susannah were more mature and not easily controlled, which caused conflict. Wendy stated that he expected his girlfriend to be monogamous, but that rule did not apply to him. Regarding his appearance, I think it came down to him not wanting to be vulnerable in any way, including with his appearance. He could not be a "normal" guy.

^ This all comes down to his old fear of abandonment. That's also why he was playing push/pull in relationships.

SkipperLove said:

I don't think it was just 'control' issues with Prince. But control issues and trust issues are almost like flip sides of the same coin. IN the questlove interview with his manager, Ruth, they tried to implied something was due to his being control freak, she sort of corrected them by saying it was more about his 'trust' issues.

violetcrush said:

SkipperLove said: I think it was a bit more complicated with Prince. He had pretty major control issues with regard to everything in his life - especially relationships with women. Mayte was way too young and very easily controlled. Vanity and Susannah were more mature and not easily controlled, which caused conflict. Wendy stated that he expected his girlfriend to be monogamous, but that rule did not apply to him. Regarding his appearance, I think it came down to him not wanting to be vulnerable in any way, including with his appearance. He could not be a "normal" guy.

Right, it's the "I can't trust you, therefore, I am going to control you" dynamic. This, probably in his mind, eliminated the element of surprise or being caught off guard in a relationship. Consequently though, it is what caused many people to leave him. That, and having to be at his "beck and call" 24/7. That kind of relationship - both personal or professional - is not sustainable.

CatB said:

^ This all comes down to his old fear of abandonment. That's also why he was playing push/pull in relationships.

Yes. From the 1990 RS interview: “What if everybody around me split?” he asks. “Then I’d be left with only me, and I’d have to fend for me. That’s why I have to protect me.”

*

Major abandonment and trust issues