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Thread started 04/26/17 1:46pm

purplerabbitho
le

Remembering Prince as a bereaved father...this article makes an excellent point.

I am particularly impressed that a woman wrote it and experienced the grief of the loss of child with her husband...

https://blogs.babycenter....ed-father/

She basically states that men in this situation often experience a complete lack of support when it comes to grieving.

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Reply #1 posted 04/26/17 2:02pm

LBrent

Very good points made in this short article.

sad

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Reply #2 posted 04/26/17 2:11pm

cloveringold85

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What an excellent article. The pain of losing a loved one is immense, let alone a newborn child. I'm so sorry for what Prince and Mayte had to go through. It was a heartbreaking tragedy and Prince has been criticized a lot over the years for how he behaved after the loss of his son.

.

Prince was not perfect and he had to deal with the loss of his son in his "own way". It may not seem logical to us, but he to find his way through all that pain. I think he turned to the JW faith, and if that gave him some peace and closure, then I'm glad. Losing a loved one definately changes a person, forever.

.

I agree, Men do not get enough emotional support through a loss of a child or a loved one. I think a lot of men just do not have the ability to show emotion, or do not want to appear weak.

.

[Edited 4/26/17 14:12pm]

"With love, honor, and respect for every living thing in the universe, separation ceases, and we all become one being, singing one song." - Prince Roger Nelson (1958-2016)
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Reply #3 posted 04/26/17 4:03pm

SpookyNopetopu
s

avatar

cloveringold85 said:

What an excellent article. The pain of losing a loved one is immense, let alone a newborn child. I'm so sorry for what Prince and Mayte had to go through. It was a heartbreaking tragedy and Prince has been criticized a lot over the years for how he behaved after the loss of his son.

.

Prince was not perfect and he had to deal with the loss of his son in his "own way". It may not seem logical to us, but he to find his way through all that pain. I think he turned to the JW faith, and if that gave him some peace and closure, then I'm glad. Losing a loved one definately changes a person, forever.

.

I agree, Men do not get enough emotional support through a loss of a child or a loved one. I think a lot of men just do not have the ability to show emotion, or do not want to appear weak.

.

[Edited 4/26/17 14:12pm]

Men don't get support for showing emotion, period. 'Boys don't cry.' 'Man up.' 'Don't be a sissy.' A man is automatically 'gay' for being emotional. It's crazy. Do I think Prince's behavior post loss of baby was kind of jerky? Yeah. And sometimes I think I'm harsh about it. But I do sometimes wonder if he simply didn't get any support at all for having to deal with a child's loss. I'm sure Mayte got offers for it, because grieving mother, and all -- but yeah, you're right, men are often ignored when this kind of thing happens because they're expected to be strong for the family.

I imagine myself inside your bedroom; oh, I imagine myself in your sky.
kitty cop
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Reply #4 posted 04/26/17 4:05pm

laurarichardso
n

cloveringold85 said:

What an excellent article. The pain of losing a loved one is immense, let alone a newborn child. I'm so sorry for what Prince and Mayte had to go through. It was a heartbreaking tragedy and Prince has been criticized a lot over the years for how he behaved after the loss of his son.


.


Prince was not perfect and he had to deal with the loss of his son in his "own way". It may not seem logical to us, but he to find his way through all that pain. I think he turned to the JW faith, and if that gave him some peace and closure, then I'm glad. Losing a loved one definately changes a person, forever.


.


I agree, Men do not get enough emotional support through a loss of a child or a loved one. I think a lot of men just do not have the ability to show emotion, or do not want to appear weak.


.



[Edited 4/26/17 14:12pm]


Nobody really knows what inner turmoil he was going thru. Mayte is mad that he did not greive in the manner she felt appropriate. Men are fixers and when they can't fix things they cannot handle it. He did good by not completely going off the deep end and trying to be strong.
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Reply #5 posted 04/26/17 4:07pm

laurarichardso
n

SpookyNopetopus said:



cloveringold85 said:


What an excellent article. The pain of losing a loved one is immense, let alone a newborn child. I'm so sorry for what Prince and Mayte had to go through. It was a heartbreaking tragedy and Prince has been criticized a lot over the years for how he behaved after the loss of his son.


.


Prince was not perfect and he had to deal with the loss of his son in his "own way". It may not seem logical to us, but he to find his way through all that pain. I think he turned to the JW faith, and if that gave him some peace and closure, then I'm glad. Losing a loved one definately changes a person, forever.


.


I agree, Men do not get enough emotional support through a loss of a child or a loved one. I think a lot of men just do not have the ability to show emotion, or do not want to appear weak.


.




[Edited 4/26/17 14:12pm]



Men don't get support for showing emotion, period. 'Boys don't cry.' 'Man up.' 'Don't be a sissy.' A man is automatically 'gay' for being emotional. It's crazy. Do I think Prince's behavior post loss of baby was kind of jerky? Yeah. And sometimes I think I'm harsh about it. But I do sometimes wonder if he simply didn't get any support at all for having to deal with a child's loss. I'm sure Mayte got offers for it, because grieving mother, and all -- but yeah, you're right, men are often ignored when this kind of thing happens because they're expected to be strong for the family.


--Men are supposed to be strong. Remember he took care of the furneral arrangements and dealt with doctors that is a lot which I doubt he wanted credit because that is what husbands are suppose to.
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Reply #6 posted 04/26/17 4:13pm

SpookyNopetopu
s

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laurarichardson said:

SpookyNopetopus said:

Men don't get support for showing emotion, period. 'Boys don't cry.' 'Man up.' 'Don't be a sissy.' A man is automatically 'gay' for being emotional. It's crazy. Do I think Prince's behavior post loss of baby was kind of jerky? Yeah. And sometimes I think I'm harsh about it. But I do sometimes wonder if he simply didn't get any support at all for having to deal with a child's loss. I'm sure Mayte got offers for it, because grieving mother, and all -- but yeah, you're right, men are often ignored when this kind of thing happens because they're expected to be strong for the family.

--Men are supposed to be strong. Remember he took care of the furneral arrangements and dealt with doctors that is a lot which I doubt he wanted credit because that is what husbands are suppose to.

He did. Being strong doesn't mean he isn't allowed to break down at some point, though. Even he needed a soft place to fall, and nobody should be thinking anything bad about that. I certainly wouldn't have looked sideways at him for crying -- his baby died, for chrissakes.

I imagine myself inside your bedroom; oh, I imagine myself in your sky.
kitty cop
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Reply #7 posted 04/26/17 4:15pm

cloveringold85

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SpookyNopetopus said:

cloveringold85 said:

What an excellent article. The pain of losing a loved one is immense, let alone a newborn child. I'm so sorry for what Prince and Mayte had to go through. It was a heartbreaking tragedy and Prince has been criticized a lot over the years for how he behaved after the loss of his son.

.

Prince was not perfect and he had to deal with the loss of his son in his "own way". It may not seem logical to us, but he to find his way through all that pain. I think he turned to the JW faith, and if that gave him some peace and closure, then I'm glad. Losing a loved one definately changes a person, forever.

.

I agree, Men do not get enough emotional support through a loss of a child or a loved one. I think a lot of men just do not have the ability to show emotion, or do not want to appear weak.

.

[Edited 4/26/17 14:12pm]

Men don't get support for showing emotion, period. 'Boys don't cry.' 'Man up.' 'Don't be a sissy.' A man is automatically 'gay' for being emotional. It's crazy. Do I think Prince's behavior post loss of baby was kind of jerky? Yeah. And sometimes I think I'm harsh about it. But I do sometimes wonder if he simply didn't get any support at all for having to deal with a child's loss. I'm sure Mayte got offers for it, because grieving mother, and all -- but yeah, you're right, men are often ignored when this kind of thing happens because they're expected to be strong for the family.

.

I agree. nod

.

I can't imagine what a difficult time it was for them both. Mayte was so young and it probably caused her a lot of emotional damage. Prince had his music career and an image to uphold, while inside he was breaking apart. sad

.

We live in a society where Men are supposed to just take it and "man up". That needs to change.

"With love, honor, and respect for every living thing in the universe, separation ceases, and we all become one being, singing one song." - Prince Roger Nelson (1958-2016)
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Reply #8 posted 04/26/17 4:16pm

cloveringold85

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laurarichardson said:

cloveringold85 said:

What an excellent article. The pain of losing a loved one is immense, let alone a newborn child. I'm so sorry for what Prince and Mayte had to go through. It was a heartbreaking tragedy and Prince has been criticized a lot over the years for how he behaved after the loss of his son.

.

Prince was not perfect and he had to deal with the loss of his son in his "own way". It may not seem logical to us, but he to find his way through all that pain. I think he turned to the JW faith, and if that gave him some peace and closure, then I'm glad. Losing a loved one definately changes a person, forever.

.

I agree, Men do not get enough emotional support through a loss of a child or a loved one. I think a lot of men just do not have the ability to show emotion, or do not want to appear weak.

.

[Edited 4/26/17 14:12pm]

Nobody really knows what inner turmoil he was going thru. Mayte is mad that he did not greive in the manner she felt appropriate. Men are fixers and when they can't fix things they cannot handle it. He did good by not completely going off the deep end and trying to be strong.

.

I agree. Men get frustrated and feel like a failure if they cannot "fix" things. That is SO true! nod

"With love, honor, and respect for every living thing in the universe, separation ceases, and we all become one being, singing one song." - Prince Roger Nelson (1958-2016)
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Reply #9 posted 04/26/17 5:14pm

laurarichardso
n

SpookyNopetopus said:



laurarichardson said:


SpookyNopetopus said:


Men don't get support for showing emotion, period. 'Boys don't cry.' 'Man up.' 'Don't be a sissy.' A man is automatically 'gay' for being emotional. It's crazy. Do I think Prince's behavior post loss of baby was kind of jerky? Yeah. And sometimes I think I'm harsh about it. But I do sometimes wonder if he simply didn't get any support at all for having to deal with a child's loss. I'm sure Mayte got offers for it, because grieving mother, and all -- but yeah, you're right, men are often ignored when this kind of thing happens because they're expected to be strong for the family.



--Men are supposed to be strong. Remember he took care of the furneral arrangements and dealt with doctors that is a lot which I doubt he wanted credit because that is what husbands are suppose to.

He did. Being strong doesn't mean he isn't allowed to break down at some point, though. Even he needed a soft place to fall, and nobody should be thinking anything bad about that. I certainly wouldn't have looked sideways at him for crying -- his baby died, for chrissakes.


--I am sure he went somewhere by himself and cried his eyes out just not in front of her. The Australian promoter said he was upset upon hearing about Vanity's death they thought the show might have to cancelled but he pulled himself together and did the show.
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Reply #10 posted 04/26/17 5:24pm

purplerabbitho
le

Imagine how much of a failure Prince might have felt like if he thought his genes were to blame as well.

Morris Hayes, if he is to be believed, said Prince seemed to feel as though he could no longer control everything (thus making him more humble etc)

cloveringold85 said:

laurarichardson said:

cloveringold85 said: Nobody really knows what inner turmoil he was going thru. Mayte is mad that he did not greive in the manner she felt appropriate. Men are fixers and when they can't fix things they cannot handle it. He did good by not completely going off the deep end and trying to be strong.

.

I agree. Men get frustrated and feel like a failure if they cannot "fix" things. That is SO true! nod

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Reply #11 posted 04/26/17 5:57pm

cloveringold85

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purplerabbithole said:

Imagine how much of a failure Prince might have felt like if he thought his genes were to blame as well.

Morris Hayes, if he is to be believed, said Prince seemed to feel as though he could no longer control everything (thus making him more humble etc)

cloveringold85 said:

.

I agree. Men get frustrated and feel like a failure if they cannot "fix" things. That is SO true! nod

.

I know, I have thought about that as well. That had to lay really heavy on his heart. It's so incredibly sad. sad

"With love, honor, and respect for every living thing in the universe, separation ceases, and we all become one being, singing one song." - Prince Roger Nelson (1958-2016)
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Reply #12 posted 04/26/17 6:06pm

Purplestar88

Thank you for posting this. I don't see people talking about this issue from Prince's point of view. It was a heartbreaking situation and he had to deal with extra bull because of his celebrity. No one wants to talk about the nanny situation and how he was investigated for something many other parents have to make when their child is not well. I feel for years he was criticized for not grieveing the way some thought he should.

[Edited 4/26/17 18:44pm]

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Reply #13 posted 04/26/17 6:10pm

laurarichardso
n

Purplestar88 said:

Thank you for posting this. I don't see people talk about this issue from Prince's point of view. It was a heartbreaking situation and he had to deal with extra bull because of his celebrity. No one wants to talk about the nanny situation and how he was investigated for something many other parents have to make when their child is not well. I feel for years he was criticized for not grieveing the way some thought he should.


The lack of compassion for him was unbelievable these two asshole nannies accuse of killing his child and then try to shop pictures they took of the baby to the tabloids. Now you got M1 digging the knife in about after 20 years.
[Edited 4/26/17 18:13pm]
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Reply #14 posted 04/26/17 6:10pm

luvsexy4all

snip - Of4s keep the focus on what Prince was deeling with.

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Reply #15 posted 04/26/17 6:30pm

cloveringold85

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laurarichardson said:

Purplestar88 said:

Thank you for posting this. I don't see people talk about this issue from Prince's point of view. It was a heartbreaking situation and he had to deal with extra bull because of his celebrity. No one wants to talk about the nanny situation and how he was investigated for something many other parents have to make when their child is not well. I feel for years he was criticized for not grieveing the way some thought he should.

The lack of compassion for him was unbelievable these two asshole nannies accuse of killing his child and then try to shop pictures they took of the baby to the tabloids. Now you got M1 digging the knife in about after 20 years. [Edited 4/26/17 18:13pm]

.

That was really low what his Nannies did. Was this something that Mayte had a hand in too? That was a really low blow, especially after Prince had just lost his child. There are no words for that kind of behavior, well, there are -- but I won't say them here. rolleyes

"With love, honor, and respect for every living thing in the universe, separation ceases, and we all become one being, singing one song." - Prince Roger Nelson (1958-2016)
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Reply #16 posted 04/26/17 7:00pm

Purplestar88

cloveringold85 said:

laurarichardson said:

Purplestar88 said: The lack of compassion for him was unbelievable these two asshole nannies accuse of killing his child and then try to shop pictures they took of the baby to the tabloids. Now you got M1 digging the knife in about after 20 years. [Edited 4/26/17 18:13pm]

.

That was really low what his Nannies did. Was this something that Mayte had a hand in too? That was a really low blow, especially after Prince had just lost his child. There are no words for that kind of behavior, well, there are -- but I won't say them here. rolleyes

It was very low to vitimized people when they are going though a tragedy but money and fame attracts these kind of people. No one wants to talk about that part of the story.

[Edited 4/27/17 3:23am]

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Reply #17 posted 04/26/17 7:21pm

laurarichardso
n

Purplestar88 said:



cloveringold85 said:




laurarichardson said:


Purplestar88 said: The lack of compassion for him was unbelievable these two asshole nannies accuse of killing his child and then try to shop pictures they took of the baby to the tabloids. Now you got M1 digging the knife in about after 20 years. [Edited 4/26/17 18:13pm]

.


That was really low what his Nannies did. Was this something that Mayte had a hand in too? That was a really low blow, especially after Prince had just lost his child. There are no words for that kind of behavior, well, there are -- but I won't say them here. rolleyes




It was very low to vitimized people when they are going though a tragedy but money and frame attacts these kind of people. No one wants to talk about that part of the story.


Yes have noticed that part of the story gets left off. I am really interested in Morris Hayes will have to say as I know he already said that Prince was so excited he went out buying toys and put a jungle gym on the propert and talked about taking off a year.
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Reply #18 posted 04/26/17 8:28pm

Wlcm2thdwn3

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Is that what Prince was thinking of when he wrote BEAUTIFUL STRANGE? it seems to fit.

https://genius.com/Prince-beautiful-strange-lyrics

[Edited 4/26/17 20:29pm]

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Reply #19 posted 04/27/17 11:36am

cloveringold85

avatar

Purplestar88 said:

cloveringold85 said:

.

That was really low what his Nannies did. Was this something that Mayte had a hand in too? That was a really low blow, especially after Prince had just lost his child. There are no words for that kind of behavior, well, there are -- but I won't say them here. rolleyes

It was very low to vitimized people when they are going though a tragedy but money and fame attracts these kind of people. No one wants to talk about that part of the story.

[Edited 4/27/17 3:23am]

.

Very true! nod

"With love, honor, and respect for every living thing in the universe, separation ceases, and we all become one being, singing one song." - Prince Roger Nelson (1958-2016)
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Reply #20 posted 04/27/17 1:52pm

NotACleverName

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Wlcm2thdwn3 said:

Is that what Prince was thinking of when he wrote BEAUTIFUL STRANGE? it seems to fit.


https://genius.com/Prince...nge-lyrics

[Edited 4/26/17 20:29pm]


While we know Come Back was written about Amiir (Mayte confirms this in her book), there is speculation that Until U're In My Arms Again was as well: http://www.princevault.co...Arms_Again

All of my life I've never wanted anyone like I wanted you
Every night I said a prayer to God and his angels
I'm sure they knew
The many tears that I'd have to cry
If I ever had to leave your side

(CHORUS)
Until you're in my arms again
I know this pain will never end
This broken heart will never mend
Until you're in my arms again

Every mornin' when I awaken, I imagine you sleepin' in your bed
Wrong or right the reason you're taken from my embrace
Well, it's never said
'Cause every day that you don't return
Is another day that my heart just yearns and yearns
That's why

If life remains a mystery
Then there's no reason to the rhyme
And you, you'll never know what you mean to me till you're mine, all mine

Until you're in my arms again
Until you're in my arms again
Until you're in my arms again

(CHORUS)
Until you're, until you're, until you're in my arms again!
No, ain't never gonna end
Never gonna mend
Until you're back, right back in my arms again

I'll never see like others see
(I know that you'll come back to me)
I know you're gonna come right back to me (Come on back to me)
And this time you will never leave my arms again
(Never leave my arms again)

Until you're in my arms again
Until you're in my arms again
Until you're in my arms again
Come on back, baby
Come on back
Come on back

Until you're in my arms again
Until you're in my arms again


Prince - Until U're In My Arms Again Lyrics | MetroLyrics

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence......." ~ DESIDERATA ~ Max Ehrmann
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Reply #21 posted 04/27/17 1:54pm

NotACleverName

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cloveringold85 said:



laurarichardson said:


Purplestar88 said:

Thank you for posting this. I don't see people talk about this issue from Prince's point of view. It was a heartbreaking situation and he had to deal with extra bull because of his celebrity. No one wants to talk about the nanny situation and how he was investigated for something many other parents have to make when their child is not well. I feel for years he was criticized for not grieveing the way some thought he should.


The lack of compassion for him was unbelievable these two asshole nannies accuse of killing his child and then try to shop pictures they took of the baby to the tabloids. Now you got M1 digging the knife in about after 20 years. [Edited 4/26/17 18:13pm]

That was really low what his Nannies did. Was this something that Mayte had a hand in too? That was a really low blow, especially after Prince had just lost his child. There are no words for that kind of behavior, well, there are -- but I won't say them here. rolleyes


The bolded....please.

In her recently published book, she details that she went into a period of deep mourning. And I would venture a guess that she continues to mourn the loss of Amiir to this day. She believes that Prince never got over the loss, either. She relays some very tender moments she and Prince shared during the pregnancy, their excitement and anticipation for the birth and their overall joy. She also explains how Prince was fiercely protective of Amiir and proactive with his medical care. While she shares how they spent the day after his death "huddled together on the couch grieving the short life of this precious soul" (not verbatim), she also admits that she was so consumed with her grief that she might not have supported Prince enough after Amiir passed.

So, no, she had absolutely "no hand in that, too".

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence......." ~ DESIDERATA ~ Max Ehrmann
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Reply #22 posted 04/27/17 4:49pm

OldFriends4Sal
e

This is a grea point of view rarely discussed, and some great posts by many here.
Please let's not turn it into a bash Mayte thread.

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Reply #23 posted 04/27/17 6:55pm

CooperC62057

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NotACleverName said:

cloveringold85 said:



laurarichardson said:


Purplestar88 said:

Thank you for posting this. I don't see people talk about this issue from Prince's point of view. It was a heartbreaking situation and he had to deal with extra bull because of his celebrity. No one wants to talk about the nanny situation and how he was investigated for something many other parents have to make when their child is not well. I feel for years he was criticized for not grieveing the way some thought he should.


The lack of compassion for him was unbelievable these two asshole nannies accuse of killing his child and then try to shop pictures they took of the baby to the tabloids. Now you got M1 digging the knife in about after 20 years. [Edited 4/26/17 18:13pm]

That was really low what his Nannies did. Was this something that Mayte had a hand in too? That was a really low blow, especially after Prince had just lost his child. There are no words for that kind of behavior, well, there are -- but I won't say them here. rolleyes


The bolded....please.

In her recently published book, she details that she went into a period of deep mourning. And I would venture a guess that she continues to mourn the loss of Amiir to this day. She believes that Prince never got over the loss, either. She relays some very tender moments she and Prince shared during the pregnancy, their excitement and anticipation for the birth and their overall joy. She also explains how Prince was fiercely protective of Amiir and proactive with his medical care. While she shares how they spent the day after his death "huddled together on the couch grieving the short life of this precious soul" (not verbatim), she also admits that she was so consumed with her grief that she might not have supported Prince enough after Amiir passed.

So, no, she had absolutely "no hand in that, too".



Absolutely agree. Their loss was felt by ONLY two people -Prince and Mayte and anyone who imagines that they know how either of them felt about their child, each other or anything they went through is delusional.
"Remember when you told me that love was touching souls?" ☔️ A Case of You ☔️
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Reply #24 posted 04/30/17 10:54am

LBrent

CooperC62057 said:

NotACleverName said:
The bolded....please. In her recently published book, she details that she went into a period of deep mourning. And I would venture a guess that she continues to mourn the loss of Amiir to this day. She believes that Prince never got over the loss, either. She relays some very tender moments she and Prince shared during the pregnancy, their excitement and anticipation for the birth and their overall joy. She also explains how Prince was fiercely protective of Amiir and proactive with his medical care. While she shares how they spent the day after his death "huddled together on the couch grieving the short life of this precious soul" (not verbatim), she also admits that she was so consumed with her grief that she might not have supported Prince enough after Amiir passed. So, no, she had absolutely "no hand in that, too".

Absolutely agree. Their loss was felt by ONLY two people -Prince and Mayte and anyone who imagines that they know how either of them felt about their child, each other or anything they went through is delusional.

Mayte also mentions in the book that "someone who betrayed our trust" and "had no right to do so" took a picture of Amiir and tried to sell it to a tabloid so I seriously doubt she had any part in that "nanny accusal situation".

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Reply #25 posted 05/02/17 3:44pm

laurarichardso
n

LBrent said:

CooperC62057 said:

Absolutely agree. Their loss was felt by ONLY two people -Prince and Mayte and anyone who imagines that they know how either of them felt about their child, each other or anything they went through is delusional.

Mayte also mentions in the book that "someone who betrayed our trust" and "had no right to do so" took a picture of Amiir and tried to sell it to a tabloid so I seriously doubt she had any part in that "nanny accusal situation".

The nannies took the pictures. One of Prince's attorneys mentioned in an article shortly after he died. Talked about how Prince came to his office with his notepads and pens while the case was being handled. Prince was taking care of things and I think he has been malinged in the media because of the book not so much because of the content but because the media is framing it all in a bad way and I think the book company has done a great job of just letting it go to get book sales.

Prince was not the devil in this stituation he was being strong and I think it is wrong that he is getting attacked for it. It was his baby as well.

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Reply #26 posted 05/02/17 9:29pm

sonshine

avatar

OldFriends4Sale said:



This is a grea point of view rarely discussed, and some great posts by many here.
Please let's not turn it into a bash Mayte thread.


Thank you!
The article is on point. I was driving home tonight and "Let's Have A Baby" came up on my ipod. My heart sank and i got a lump in my throat. I cant imagine how difficult it was to cope with their loss for both of them but im really feeling it from his side tonite sad
It's a hurtful place, the world, in and of itself. We don't need to add to it. We all need one another. ~ PRN
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Reply #27 posted 05/03/17 6:05am

PennyPurple

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cloveringold85 said:

laurarichardson said:

Purplestar88 said: The lack of compassion for him was unbelievable these two asshole nannies accuse of killing his child and then try to shop pictures they took of the baby to the tabloids. Now you got M1 digging the knife in about after 20 years. [Edited 4/26/17 18:13pm]

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That was really low what his Nannies did. Was this something that Mayte had a hand in too? That was a really low blow, especially after Prince had just lost his child. There are no words for that kind of behavior, well, there are -- but I won't say them here. rolleyes

No, Mayte did not have a hand in this. It was the Nannies who did it.

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Forums > Prince: Music and More > Remembering Prince as a bereaved father...this article makes an excellent point.