OzlemUcucu said:

luv4u said:

luv after so many years of being a moderator you really deserve a medallion. I know you from such long time ago. From the other website still. That must have been really very long time ago. Wow!

Are you not the one who is the longest moderator on here?

1Sasha said:

One way to channel grief is to help others in many ways. I don't have much free time so I end up donating, and now I do it in loving memory of Prince Rogers Nelson. Most recently, I had a large brick engraved with his name; the brick is to be installed in a community center courtyard. You could support the local animal rescue, or arts programs for children. All in his memory.

Yes I am planning on doing this but I have Prince fans in mind. It's good to make people smiling that are grieving.

No, not at all. It's the way he went. Suddenly, sadly and yes, just a bit mysteriously.

Took me a couple of years to get over MJ, but at least i know how he went.

I'm sad still, but get over acts i like and grew up with that die in a 'normal' manner far, far easier.

[Edited 9/24/16 16:09pm]

1Sasha said:

One way to channel grief is to help others in many ways. I don't have much free time so I end up donating, and now I do it in loving memory of Prince Rogers Nelson. Most recently, I had a large brick engraved with his name; the brick is to be installed in a community center courtyard. You could support the local animal rescue, or arts programs for children. All in his memory.

This is a wonderful idea

In answer to the question: NO. Not in any way, shape, form, nor any other way of phrasing the word "closure". Hasn't happened yet, not holding my breath waiting for that either.

purplethunder3121 said:

There's no such thing as "closure." That's a fabricated "pop" psychology term that has no meaning in real life. In real life, one just continues on as best as one can.

Yep, that. All of it.

i have not even really let go and really get into the grief

No, I have not. But I am starting to accept that I never really will. And I don't think I want closure. I never want Prince to be a part of my past. I want to carry him with me always. God knows everything and I know nothing at all, so trying to make sense of everything is only holding me back. I have yet to accept that he will not be "here" anymore, but I will soon. I feel like a baby half the time. And I feel like a complete idiot that I have made this situation all about me in my mind. "I never got to meet Prince, never got to see him live...we were supposed to work together.. blah blah..." I feel robbed but I shouldn't at all. He has given me so many beautiful memories. What is not fair is that HE lost his life and he had so much more to give. It has nothing to do with me. I know I'll continue to have hard days...it's human nature. He was my friend But I need to learn respect for how the world works and what God wants as well. His will is more important than what I desire. I never want closer from Prince. At this point, I just need to learn acceptance and flourish from that. I just want to learn to be an adult now and stop being a big old baby lol. Things don't go the way we plan....But he will always be with me. I'm thankful for the gift God gave. Anyway, I saw this cool video the other day. Very funny and sweet.

TrivialPursuit said:

Closure is a construct, it's not real when dealing with death. You can't just close the love you have for someone because they're gone.

What is real is acceptance. Doesn't mean one has to love it, or like it. We often accept things we don't like, whether it's phone bills, shitty relatives, the Darth Vader voice on The Rainbow Children, or whatever.

We have to understand these are the cards on the table; this is the hand we've been dealt in the world of Prince. We have to play it. We can't fold out of this one. We can not buy a CD, but we do have to accept this. To deny this is real is to maneuver through an illusion. I get a bit weary of the "can't talk, tears again, unreal" melodrama.

Once we understand (stand under) the truth, then the journey to peace and appreciation can begin. Prince's own journey was his search for the truth, whatever it was. I think it's why he never said what "the truth" was because for each person it's different.

If we loved him, his music, and his life, then we should follow suit. Live in truth, appreciate what he did and the legacy we're all a part of, because in that he'll never be totally gone.

Beautifully put Trivial.

Nope , will I ever find closure probably not; but I will learn to live with it. We all will. There is sadly no healthier alternative. I look forward to a time when I can think of him and enjoy all that he has left for us without any sadness.

TrivialPursuit said:

Closure is a construct, it's not real when dealing with death. You can't just close the love you have for someone because they're gone.

What is real is acceptance. Doesn't mean one has to love it, or like it. We often accept things we don't like, whether it's phone bills, shitty relatives, the Darth Vader voice on The Rainbow Children, or whatever.

We have to understand these are the cards on the table; this is the hand we've been dealt in the world of Prince. We have to play it. We can't fold out of this one. We can not buy a CD, but we do have to accept this. To deny this is real is to maneuver through an illusion. I get a bit weary of the "can't talk, tears again, unreal" melodrama.

Once we understand (stand under) the truth, then the journey to peace and appreciation can begin. Prince's own journey was his search for the truth, whatever it was. I think it's why he never said what "the truth" was because for each person it's different.

If we loved him, his music, and his life, then we should follow suit. Live in truth, appreciate what he did and the legacy we're all a part of, because in that he'll never be totally gone.

so true....

OzlemUcucu said:

It is not always easy like that.

I never said it was easy, nor alluded to it. But it is simple. We often get in our own ways with these things, sometimes.

But if someone sees it as easy, maybe it will be for them.

1Sasha said:

One way to channel grief is to help others in many ways. I don't have much free time so I end up donating, and now I do it in loving memory of Prince Rogers Nelson. Most recently, I had a large brick engraved with his name; the brick is to be installed in a community center courtyard. You could support the local animal rescue, or arts programs for children. All in his memory.

"to help others in many ways" I love this 1Sasha!!!

There has been way too much negativity and disagreement on this website. I wish it had been handled differently than just fighting over people, opinions, teaming, projects, and even words for the love of God. I've seen definitions from different sources, or articles to prove one is wrong.

Whether one calls it closure or another calls is acceptance should not be the focus of this thread. The goal is to heal, find peace and happiness, and move forward. It aims at sharing ways to feel better about such a difficult situation we all have in common. As 1Sasha said "help others" and not argue over pity details.

Thus, please share what makes you feel better May you all find Peace!!!

[Edited 9/24/16 17:47pm]

I've accepted that P is gone, but no closure in sight . In fact, just today I was thinking 'How am I gonna feel when the post-humous material comes out?' . Yes, I definitely want the music and videos released, but I can imagine it'll be like tearing open a partially healed wound every single time. But for now, what comforts me and gets me through this process is focusing more on my relationship with God and teaching music as I always have, but now with the hope I'm imparting to the next generation what P showed me through his work.

roxy831 said:

I've accepted that P is gone, but no closure in sight . In fact, just today I was thinking 'How am I gonna feel when the post-humous material comes out?' . Yes, I definitely want the music and videos released, but I can imagine it'll be like tearing open a partially healed wound every single time. But for now, what comforts me and gets me through this process is focusing more on my relationship with God and teaching music as I always have, but now with the hope I'm imparting to the next generation what P showed me through his work.

Beautiful!

I don't believe in 'closure' as a mindset, so I'm going to sit myself in the very comfortable zone of 'blissful constant denial'.

No. I haven't yet, but I will one day. I'll always love his music tho.

I don't know what closure means.

But I have accepted that Prince is dead. That was hard but I have done it. What I haven't really dealt with is the manor in which he died because I don't know what's fact or fiction.

TrivialPursuit said:

Closure is a construct, it's not real when dealing with death. You can't just close the love you have for someone because they're gone.

What is real is acceptance. Doesn't mean one has to love it, or like it. We often accept things we don't like, whether it's phone bills, shitty relatives, the Darth Vader voice on The Rainbow Children, or whatever.

We have to understand these are the cards on the table; this is the hand we've been dealt in the world of Prince. We have to play it. We can't fold out of this one. We can not buy a CD, but we do have to accept this. To deny this is real is to maneuver through an illusion. I get a bit weary of the "can't talk, tears again, unreal" melodrama.

Once we understand (stand under) the truth, then the journey to peace and appreciation can begin. Prince's own journey was his search for the truth, whatever it was. I think it's why he never said what "the truth" was because for each person it's different.

If we loved him, his music, and his life, then we should follow suit. Live in truth, appreciate what he did and the legacy we're all a part of, because in that he'll never be totally gone.

PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You just said something that we need to share with everyone here. Thank you

No, but I feel that I am moving along slowly in the direction that's healthy for me.

I've been able to stay functional. That said, some days take more conscious effort than others. Immediately after P's passing I felt devastated (and there are still moments when it all still feels devastating) but it was never debilitating. The grief is easing off. What has remained constant is the feeling that the world is off-kilter in some way, that something is not right. There are still sudden dips, but I've set aside time and space to feel my feelings and move through them.

I don't always feel okay, but I'm okay with that. I refuse to be judged for how or when or why or who or how long I'm grieving. And believe me, some have tried on this very forum. The other side of the coin is I have found very kind & compassionate people here who encourage instead of criticizing or putting others down. Support is very conducive to healing.

When I'm feeling particularly raw I stay on the lighthearted threads. Those threads are being looked down on too, but that's okay. I admit that their judgement hurts sometimes, particularly when I'm in an emotional dip. But I remind myself their judgement does not matter, because they don't even know me, and because they don't know me, the basis for their judgement is not sound.

I'm a human being who is mourning. No one has to *like* how I feel, or what I share here. The only thing they have to do as decent fellow human beings though is *respect* my right to be.

Grieving is not pathological. It's a completely natural part of being human! There is not a person out there who has not suffered a loss, life being life. Luckily, we are wired to heal, physically and emotionally. The hardest part is getting out of the way of the healing process. Resistance is what makes the process harder.

Thank you Malbena for this thread I think it's a brilliant idea to create safe places here for people who are struggling. I know it can help many immeasurably because a sense of safety is crucial to healing. Maybe we can persuade the Mods to give this a sticky?

Hang in there everyone This is a journey that maybe is surprising you, or posing a lot of difficulties. I myself have been caught off-guard. But I really believe there are many things we can learn and great rewards to be had someday, when we reach the other side. Today we keep swimming through it.

Gadotou said:

No

Intellectually I know he's gone, but what I have been hanging onto is the idea of one more time, can't stop hoping that I'll get one last goodbye, one last concert. I feel like I fell out of touch with a dear friend and found out they died and I didn’t get to say goodbye, guilt I guess. So until that is satisfied, I'm still waiting and hanging on..gosh that sounds crazy

malbena said:

As the purpose of my thread is to share ways to cope with grief, I have changed the original title from "closure"to "acceptance or closure" so as not to hurt feelings and including everyone's perspectives

Grieving is so difficult for many people and is expressed in many different ways. I thought I would start this thread with the intent to help one another with finding closure. In no way, this means forgetting Prince but accepting he is resting in peace in a different place and moving forward in the path of happiness.

Much love! and may you find peace!

[Edited 9/24/16 18:16pm]

have I found closeure and acceptance? no. I am SO triggered by this, I just can't even.

you know, I'm not even angry, I'mjust upset.

why is this a thing?

ldmendes said: