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Thread started 06/22/16 9:09am

injuredpinky

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For those still in despair

Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.

Some things to consider:

  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.
  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.
  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.
  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug

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Reply #1 posted 06/22/16 9:39am

Genesia

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Cue the atheists in 3...2...

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #2 posted 06/22/16 10:00am

Blakbear

This is how I have been going about it. Jokes and things... because Prince was that kind of guy from what most people have been saying about him: joyful, playful, kind, generous. Obviously I fail at these sometimes, but...
It's an awesome memorial for my childhood hero to actually try to be as crazy in love with life as he was, isn't it.
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Reply #3 posted 06/22/16 10:05am

3rdeyedude

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Genesia said:

Cue the atheists in 3...2...

biggrin I'm here biggrin

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Reply #4 posted 06/22/16 10:07am

mimi1956

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injuredpinky said:

Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.

Some things to consider:

  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.
  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.
  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.
  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug

I ask God every day to let him let me know, it's a prayer with me. I have been waiting 12 years for my daughter to let me know also, still no sign. I don't know how or why, maybe if you're to close to a situatoin.

[Edited 6/22/16 10:08am]

admission is easy, just say U believe, then come 2 this place in your heart.
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Reply #5 posted 06/22/16 10:12am

eightiesbrat

Exercise helps me a lot, just in general. And for this particular situation, his music along with the exercise has been great medicine for me. Of course, I still have my moments but I do feel myself moving on and focusing on gratitutde for all that we have of Prince, all he gave us before he moved on rather than just the depressing thoughts.

We all want the stuff that's found in our wildest dreams. . .
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Reply #6 posted 06/22/16 10:46am

traceyp23

I am trying to remember that my grief is selfish. It's about what I am missing. Prince and I believe in the same God. We may have worshipped Him and believed a little differently, but the end game is basically the same. So, while I am sad that Prince is gone, he is not. He is at peace. True peace. I don't claim to have any answers about the after life, but the thought that Prince maybe just spent his first father's day with his children makes me smile. I do pray and ask God to tell him how much he is loved. But I ever ask God to tell him how much he is missed. No negativity. Prince was very vocal about his beliefs and I believe that he is with God. I also believe that I will be one day as well. So this isn't the end of the story. I hate every second of this. I hate it. I hate that he fought to stay alive one week and was gone the next. But Prince doesn't hate it. I can't imagine that anything could bring him back even if he were given the choice. So I am trying to make a concious effort to remember to be joyful that Prince is where he is. It is a better place than this.

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Reply #7 posted 06/22/16 11:36am

sonshine

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mimi1956 said:



injuredpinky said:


Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.



Some things to consider:


  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.

  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.

  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.

  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug




I ask God every day to let him let me know, it's a prayer with me. I have been waiting 12 years for my daughter to let me know also, still no sign. I don't know how or why, maybe if you're to close to a situatoin.

[Edited 6/22/16 10:08am]


Some good advice here. I'm not going to get into my issues with the God part. To each his own. I will say I'm truly sorry for those still suffering a painful, personal loss and hope you get what you have been praying for. You deserve that.
hug
It's a hurtful place, the world, in and of itself. We don't need to add to it. We all need one another. ~ PRN
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Reply #8 posted 06/22/16 12:36pm

injuredpinky

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sonshine said:

mimi1956 said:

I ask God every day to let him let me know, it's a prayer with me. I have been waiting 12 years for my daughter to let me know also, still no sign. I don't know how or why, maybe if you're to close to a situatoin.

[Edited 6/22/16 10:08am]

Some good advice here. I'm not going to get into my issues with the God part. To each his own. I will say I'm truly sorry for those still suffering a painful, personal loss and hope you get what you have been praying for. You deserve that. hug


Thanks. Agnostic, believer or non-believer, we all live in an imperfect world and have to deal with rain throughout our lives. Whatever it is that helps any one of us heal, I hope they find it.

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Reply #9 posted 06/22/16 12:38pm

Wlcm2thdwn3

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Is this you Dr. Phil ?? eek

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Reply #10 posted 06/22/16 1:38pm

Els

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injuredpinky said:

Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.

Some things to consider:

  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.
  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.
  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.
  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug

I joined Prince.org because I am so sad every day. Today is the first day that I can post something. Your words are so true and helpful. Thank you!

Let's dance Sugar
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Reply #11 posted 06/22/16 4:35pm

Krystalkisses

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Thanks for the positive support. Yes I am still grieving his death as a fan. I'm shocked how deeply it affected me. Some days are harder than others. cool

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Reply #12 posted 06/22/16 5:21pm

ksgemini63

injuredpinky said:

Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.



Some things to consider:


  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.

  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.

  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.

  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug




A great post. Well said
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Reply #13 posted 06/22/16 5:25pm

AnnaStesia10

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I appreicate your words injuredpinky.

I can hear the soundtrack in the back of this post thread being Positivity from Lovesexy! biggrin

So thank you for the words. You are correct. I think I am still in disbelief I have my good and bad days. I just wanted to say thank you for this!



"A strong spirit transcends rules." - Prince
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Reply #14 posted 06/22/16 5:34pm

Revolution81

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I don't believe in God but I believe in Dr Phil

What's the use in half a story, half a dream
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Reply #15 posted 06/22/16 5:55pm

injuredpinky

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AnnaStesia10 said:

I appreicate your words injuredpinky.

I can hear the soundtrack in the back of this post thread being Positivity from Lovesexy! biggrin

So thank you for the words. You are correct. I think I am still in disbelief I have my good and bad days. I just wanted to say thank you for this!


You are most welcome annastesia10! The power of the prince.org community at work together!

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Reply #16 posted 07/18/16 8:06am

injuredpinky

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Els said:

injuredpinky said:

Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.

Some things to consider:

  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.
  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.
  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.
  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug

I joined Prince.org because I am so sad every day. Today is the first day that I can post something. Your words are so true and helpful. Thank you!

Sorry I missed your response earlier Els....Glad the post was helpful! Hope you're still hanging in strong!

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Reply #17 posted 08/18/16 1:50pm

Els

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injuredpinky said:

Els said:

I joined Prince.org because I am so sad every day. Today is the first day that I can post something. Your words are so true and helpful. Thank you!

Sorry I missed your response earlier Els....Glad the post was helpful! Hope you're still hanging in strong!

Now I am sorry I missed yours! I was on a holiday in Italy. I am doing my best but it is not always easy. I am trying to celebrate life instead of mourning death. Your post is still very helpful. Thank you again!

Let's dance Sugar
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Reply #18 posted 08/18/16 2:48pm

oliviacamron

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I started exercises when he died. I needed an outlet for all the emotion. It probably helps but I still cry everyday. Maybe it's not time to move on. We have unanswered questions surrounding his death. No one has been charged yet. Maybe when all the truth comes out ,we can get some closure. I dream about him. I dreamed a week before he passed away that he died. We don't know what Prince wants right now. He probably does not want us miserable but I don't think he wants us to let go yet either. On another note, I know his sounds crazy, but I feel like his death is sign that the world is about to get much worse.
I asked Prince what he was planning to do. He told me , I'm going to look for the ladder. I asked him what that meant. All he said was, sometimes it snows in April. - book D.M.S.R.
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Reply #19 posted 08/18/16 2:57pm

oliviacamron

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Els said:



injuredpinky said:


Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.



Some things to consider:


  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.

  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.

  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.

  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug




I joined Prince.org because I am so sad every day. Today is the first day that I can post something. Your words are so true and helpful. Thank you!


Hi ELS. It took me a long time to post also. Posting actually helps a little bit. If I were you, I would go ahead and put your feeling out there. I have found that there are so many people that are grieving hard like me. It will be 4 months this Sunday. Many people thought they would not still be in pain this long. grouphug comfort
I asked Prince what he was planning to do. He told me , I'm going to look for the ladder. I asked him what that meant. All he said was, sometimes it snows in April. - book D.M.S.R.
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Reply #20 posted 08/18/16 5:03pm

jayseajay

injuredpinky said:

Sometimes those mental clouds don't lift on their own, so you have to prod your body along.

Some things to consider:

  1. His death occurred on 4/21. Dragging that event forward each and every day is like proclaiming his death was more important than his life. Leave his death back on 4/21. Celebrate his life and art each and every day. Keep looking forward and not backwards.
  2. "Life is for the living." (my wife watches Dr. Phil). Prince is not up in Heaven telling you to prove your love to him by living in despair. God wants you to enjoy life, and thus so does Prince.
  3. Find activities you enjoy. Exercising is a natural anti-depressant. At least 20 minutes, and get your heart rate up.
  4. Sometimes it also helps to picture the deceased's face and imagine them talking to you. Picture them telling you they are with God and quite fine actually. But they can't enjoy their time with God if you keep despairing and pulling them away. They are fine. YOU are fine. Live your life, and let Prince enjoy his time with God.

Each and everyone of you deserve to be happy. Prince is happy now. So it's time for you to be happy as well. grouphug

I know you're trying to help, but I have quite a bee in my bonnet about this (I have a mother who spent my entire life trying to convinve me I shouldn't be upset about stuff I was upset about and that turned out to be a really bad idea for me)...so I'm going to say this one more time, telling other people when they should stop feeling sad isn't always that healthy, because it makes them feel guilty about feeling sad on top of feeling sad, and it stops them being able to feel okay about and hence process their feelings. If people allow themselves to grieve without feeling bad about it, their grief will pass when they are ready, the human system is incredibly good a processing feelings if we allow ourselves to do it without judgment... And Lord knows how much I love Prince, but think about how he dealt with his own tragedies...having a healthy relationship to grief was really not his strong suit...and it's a place where I really don't think we should take general life lessons from him...

[Edited 8/18/16 17:04pm]

Not like I love my guitar....
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Reply #21 posted 08/18/16 6:22pm

Germanegro

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^^^ A great comment here that I also believe. Take care, all, at your own pace. Just please take care, to avoid other unnecessary tragedies. Look on to your live relationships and try to foster something new in your life is the only other thing I would add.

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Reply #22 posted 08/18/16 9:02pm

aiden

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If there was a God, Prince would still be here.
If it was God's decision to take Prince away from us then he's a fucking dick.

Peace to everyone X
"Still Crazy 4 Coco Rock"
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Reply #23 posted 08/18/16 11:59pm

Bebop17

I am an atheist. I do, occasionally, ponder the existence of life after death. No, those two sentences are not contradictory - google "afterlife without god". Although, TBH, my ponderings feel largely like a suspension of disbelief. But anyway, I just had to explain that as background. Moving on.

I found some small comfort in a weird place. It would be weird anyway, but in light of the above paragraph, it's even weirder. It doesn't hold up well to critical analysis, I know that, I just actively choose not to think too critically about it. So please be kind. This isn't easy to say.

It was something Judith Hill said in the NYT piece. She said that P told her in the hospital, after the plane incident, that coming back was the hardest thing he had ever done. I cling to that statement. I'd like to think - I choose to think - that he said that because where he was, was just so wonderful that it was hard to leave.

I don't think for a second that he meant to go back there so soon. I believe with all my heart that his death was a tragic accident. But I'd like to think that, when he passed, it was to that same wonderful place. Or even just through it. Even if it was just for a moment. That he felt good in that moment. That he was in a happy, pain-free place that would be hard to leave. Even if it was just while he passed. Even if there is nothing beyond that.

That gives me comfort. As long as I don't look at it too closely.

The other thing that gives me some comfort is that there is so much music of his I haven't heard yet. So many recorded concerts I haven't seen. As long as there is one more new-to-me version of a song to hear, it is as though, in some way, he was still with us. Don't think I don't recognize how ... egocentric that is - I do. But we all take comfort where we can find it.

Those are the things that help keep my (still astonishing to me) grief at bay. Not all day, and not every day, but sometimes. Those, and being in the company of you orgers. grouphug Well, most of you anyway. heart

Gimme some horns ... uh!
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Reply #24 posted 08/19/16 1:14am

SomethinBoutTh
eClouds74

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Bebop17 said:

I am an atheist. I do, occasionally, ponder the existence of life after death. No, those two sentences are not contradictory - google "afterlife without god". Although, TBH, my ponderings feel largely like a suspension of disbelief. But anyway, I just had to explain that as background. Moving on.

I found some small comfort in a weird place. It would be weird anyway, but in light of the above paragraph, it's even weirder. It doesn't hold up well to critical analysis, I know that, I just actively choose not to think too critically about it. So please be kind. This isn't easy to say.

It was something Judith Hill said in the NYT piece. She said that P told her in the hospital, after the plane incident, that coming back was the hardest thing he had ever done. I cling to that statement. I'd like to think - I choose to think - that he said that because where he was, was just so wonderful that it was hard to leave.

I don't think for a second that he meant to go back there so soon. I believe with all my heart that his death was a tragic accident. But I'd like to think that, when he passed, it was to that same wonderful place. Or even just through it. Even if it was just for a moment. That he felt good in that moment. That he was in a happy, pain-free place that would be hard to leave. Even if it was just while he passed. Even if there is nothing beyond that.

That gives me comfort. As long as I don't look at it too closely.

The other thing that gives me some comfort is that there is so much music of his I haven't heard yet. So many recorded concerts I haven't seen. As long as there is one more new-to-me version of a song to hear, it is as though, in some way, he was still with us. Don't think I don't recognize how ... egocentric that is - I do. But we all take comfort where we can find it.

Those are the things that help keep my (still astonishing to me) grief at bay. Not all day, and not every day, but sometimes. Those, and being in the company of you orgers. grouphug Well, most of you anyway. heart




Lovely post Bebop17, I really second this. Love to all. hug heart
I'm not a woman, I'm not a man,
I am something that you'll never understand
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Reply #25 posted 08/19/16 1:39am

jayseajay

Bebop17 said:

I am an atheist. I do, occasionally, ponder the existence of life after death. No, those two sentences are not contradictory - google "afterlife without god". Although, TBH, my ponderings feel largely like a suspension of disbelief. But anyway, I just had to explain that as background. Moving on.

I found some small comfort in a weird place. It would be weird anyway, but in light of the above paragraph, it's even weirder. It doesn't hold up well to critical analysis, I know that, I just actively choose not to think too critically about it. So please be kind. This isn't easy to say.

It was something Judith Hill said in the NYT piece. She said that P told her in the hospital, after the plane incident, that coming back was the hardest thing he had ever done. I cling to that statement. I'd like to think - I choose to think - that he said that because where he was, was just so wonderful that it was hard to leave.

I don't think for a second that he meant to go back there so soon. I believe with all my heart that his death was a tragic accident. But I'd like to think that, when he passed, it was to that same wonderful place. Or even just through it. Even if it was just for a moment. That he felt good in that moment. That he was in a happy, pain-free place that would be hard to leave. Even if it was just while he passed. Even if there is nothing beyond that.

That gives me comfort. As long as I don't look at it too closely.

The other thing that gives me some comfort is that there is so much music of his I haven't heard yet. So many recorded concerts I haven't seen. As long as there is one more new-to-me version of a song to hear, it is as though, in some way, he was still with us. Don't think I don't recognize how ... egocentric that is - I do. But we all take comfort where we can find it.

Those are the things that help keep my (still astonishing to me) grief at bay. Not all day, and not every day, but sometimes. Those, and being in the company of you orgers. grouphug Well, most of you anyway. heart

Beautiful. And I don't think that's egocentric at all, everytime you find something new, he is still alive to you, and he will always be alive to many people in that way...if real art isn't real communication then it is nothing...and he's not going to stop speaking because he's not here anymore. We're just really really lucky that he spoke so much, and also that, despite his wishes, people were so committed to not letting it disappear and making sure it is always there to be alive to new people. I'm so thankful for that now...

Not like I love my guitar....
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Reply #26 posted 08/19/16 1:45am

FunkiestOne

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Genesia said:

Cue the atheists in 3...2...

.

Well some of those points still sort of make sense if you don't believe in magic man who lives in the sky. And I'm not religious but I always loved the passion in Prince's religious songs, so the non-believers still get the message.

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Reply #27 posted 08/19/16 1:46am

FunkiestOne

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eightiesbrat said:

Exercise helps me a lot, just in general. And for this particular situation, his music along with the exercise has been great medicine for me. Of course, I still have my moments but I do feel myself moving on and focusing on gratitutde for all that we have of Prince, all he gave us before he moved on rather than just the depressing thoughts.

.

And of course Prince and exercise are a wonderful combination. His music is so inspiring and also when you have that endrophinmachine going, he sounds even better than he usually does.

.
I have started exercising again and not as difficult to get off the chair and into a workout if I can look forward to spending some quality time with P while I do it.

[Edited 8/19/16 1:47am]

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Reply #28 posted 08/19/16 7:13am

onelap

Thanks for posting that injuredpinky I need all the help I can get right now. Tomorrow I am off to help out at a local kids music show for two weeks. 150 very talanted 9-21 year olds who put on a show full of music and dance every year in my local area. I am hoping that showing my suport for kids just starting out in music will help me in some small way.

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Reply #29 posted 08/19/16 4:03pm

Bebop17

SomethinBoutTheClouds74 said:

Bebop17 said:

I am an atheist. I do, occasionally, ponder the existence of life after death. No, those two sentences are not contradictory - google "afterlife without god". Although, TBH, my ponderings feel largely like a suspension of disbelief. But anyway, I just had to explain that as background. Moving on.

I found some small comfort in a weird place. It would be weird anyway, but in light of the above paragraph, it's even weirder. It doesn't hold up well to critical analysis, I know that, I just actively choose not to think too critically about it. So please be kind. This isn't easy to say.

It was something Judith Hill said in the NYT piece. She said that P told her in the hospital, after the plane incident, that coming back was the hardest thing he had ever done. I cling to that statement. I'd like to think - I choose to think - that he said that because where he was, was just so wonderful that it was hard to leave.

I don't think for a second that he meant to go back there so soon. I believe with all my heart that his death was a tragic accident. But I'd like to think that, when he passed, it was to that same wonderful place. Or even just through it. Even if it was just for a moment. That he felt good in that moment. That he was in a happy, pain-free place that would be hard to leave. Even if it was just while he passed. Even if there is nothing beyond that.

That gives me comfort. As long as I don't look at it too closely.

The other thing that gives me some comfort is that there is so much music of his I haven't heard yet. So many recorded concerts I haven't seen. As long as there is one more new-to-me version of a song to hear, it is as though, in some way, he was still with us. Don't think I don't recognize how ... egocentric that is - I do. But we all take comfort where we can find it.

Those are the things that help keep my (still astonishing to me) grief at bay. Not all day, and not every day, but sometimes. Those, and being in the company of you orgers. grouphug Well, most of you anyway. heart



Lovely post Bebop17, I really second this. Love to all. hug heart

Thank you for the kind words, SomethinBoutTheClouds74. hug

Gimme some horns ... uh!
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Forums > Prince: Music and More > For those still in despair