Capn Marvel's Black Album review...

Just like Dylan's Basement Tapes, it's amazing how this album went from being astonishingly brave, relentless, profane, dark, and vicious when it was an illicit bootleg to being mediocre and frightfully inconsistent once it was released officially. Prince recorded this in 1987 as the intended follow-up to Sign O' The Times, to be released with no artist or title designation and only monolithic black cover art for identification. A single-color cover, no album name apparent on it? Does that REMIND you of something, possibly? A certain classic record released several years prior by four of the most famous and beloved musicians this world has ever known? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

That's right...Smell the Glove. Hell, Prince would put even out a song called 'Big Bottom' if you gave him half a chance. It'd suck, and therefore it'd probably belong here.

The Black Album was evidently recalled by Prince just days before it's intended release, to great expense and frustration by Warner Bros., because ol' Paisley Pants allegedly took some Ecstasy (one of his very few drug experiences, by all accounts) and had a religious experience that hinted at his soul's imminent damnation if he were to release an album as raw, decadent, and lustful as this one. It seems Prince's conscience was bothered that the Black Album was so obsessed with sex as a bodily function rather than as a function of love and spirit. Now, I'm no expert on the specifics of a lot of religious thought, much less what sort of twisted, guilt-ridden horrorshow of a belief system that goes on within Prince's head, but I'd have thought that songs like 'Sister' and 'Lady Cab Driver' and 'Head' would've gotten you a confirmed reservation to the Motel Hades far quicker than some tame panting for Cyndi Crawford. Well, whatever...to each his own. Prince yanked the Black Album, released the far more disturbing (at least cover-wise) Lovesexy in its place, and went on to record the following morally upstanding, lyrically unassailable songs in the upcoming years which show his newfound devotion to the straight and narrow to be a pure change of heart that will result in his everlasting salvation:

'Cream'

'Sexy Motherfucker'

'Loose'

'Orgasm'

'P Control'

'Face Down'

'Mad Sex'

'Push it Up'

Okay, so he didn't turn from Andrew Dice Clay into Mahatma Ghandi, exactly. What did happen was The Black Album became the most famous album nobody owned, shooting with a bullet straight the top of the Hyperbole, Hype, and Shockingly Uninformed charts for 1987. People salivated at the thought of what might be in that dark-jacketed little den of sin. Was it so obscene not even Prince could handle it? Was it the work of Satan? Whatever it was, it was sure to be the most amazing music of Prince's career, that much was for certain. I remember some jerkoff critics even putting the damned thing on their year-end Best Of lists (above Sign 'O' the Times, no less!), no doubt just to appear cool and cutting-edge. Plus, no one was able to argue that some asshole critic is wrong that the Black Album is the best thing to come down the pike since Hendrix traded in his bagpipes for a Stratocaster, because no one had heard the damned thing! I mean, what's more unassailable than the statement, 'Man, have you HEARD this thing only I have ever heard? It's FUCKING FANTASTIC!!! You'll NEVER HEAR IT, THOUGH, SO JUST AGREE WITH ME AND LOOK UPON ME WITH AWE!!' That's some classy journalism, right there. Makes Geraldo Rivera look like Walter Cronkite.

The Black Album is none of those things it was purported to be. Okay, it was a bootleg, and it was finally released officially in a limited run in the mid-90's, but it is not the best-album-since-anything, it's not fierce, it's not revolutionary, and it's not even very listenable. It seems that Prince was more embarrassed to put his name on it than anything else, and sounds a lot like a demo a rich cokehead would toss together over a month in his home studio rather than the serious follow-up to one of the best Prince efforts ever. It's a half-assed come-on to the urban black fanbase Prince hadn't had since 1999 and hadn't given a shit about since 1979, with tracks with names like '2 Nigs United 4 West Compton', which has got to be one of the most simultaneously embarrassing, distasteful, and misguided titles to ever touch a song. In reality, that song is just an awful instrumental funk jam, but that title was a hint that Prince was just a couple of tokes out of his element here. In general, the songs are just grooves of the sort that Prince is probably able to crank out while taking his morning kick-off dump using nothing more than the whistling of his anus and the slapping of his palms against his thighs. The songs drag on and on, relying far too much on contemporary cliches (Michel Jackson's Bad album seems to be a big influence here, as is New Edition and awful mid-80's junk like Atlantic Star. If Prince ever stooped to sounding like a second-line artist instead of a groundbreaker, it's here.) of the sort Prince was thousands of miles beyond the minute he recorded Dirty Mind. Granted, Prince closing his eyes for five minutes and randomly honking out a drumbeat is still better than what most people can do with six months of intense training, but this crap is pretty lame for him. When he's not lusting after an overexposed supermodel ('Cindy C'), he's reciting some godawful stupid jive through a vocal pitch shifter to make him sound like that big black dude with the halitosis in The Green Mile. 'Dead On It' has some cool Run DMC influences, but in terms of rap, Prince still needs full pads, some training wheels, and Grandmaster Flash running behind him with one hand on the banana seat. The best two tracks are the heavily Parliament-influenced 'Rock Hard in a Funky Place' (more goofy vocal effects abound, as do kids chanting 'rock!', but there's also a slinky guitar solo and some horny horns to add muscle) and 'When 2 R In Love', a pillow ballad that, like a softer and more seductive 'Slow Love', could probably have held its own on Sign O the Times. As it was, it was rightfully deemed to be the only Black Album song 'moral' enough to be included on Lovesexy. It also fits about as well on this nihilistic beat-salad as a training bra on Shaquille O'Neal, so it was probably a pretty thoughtful salvage job.

The rest of this, truly, should be forgotten. Did you know Prince actually flashed 'Don't buy the Black Album, I'm sorry.' on his video for 'Alphabet St.' the next year? Is it not enough that he tells you not to buy it, and it's only finally released at all because Prince wants out of his Warner Bros. contract in the mid-90's. The only way Prince could warn you any more about how substandard this album is would be to belch it into the microphone on Times Square during a nationwide New Year's Rockin' Eve telecast. Now that the cat's out of the bag and the mystique is gone like a bad set of beer goggles and we're stuck in bed with this overweight, pasty beat album, it might be time to beat a hasty exit and rethink our life strategy.

Capn's Final Word: The only mystery that that black cover holds is that there are no mysteries to this album, Just a bunch of aimless, patronizing beat music.

I got to the part where "Cream" is listed sarcastically with other songs that would save Prince's soul and I lost all respect for the review. Cream is a song of self-motivation, nothing to do with sex or other naughtiness. The fact that "cream" has a couple meanings makes it hawt, but that's not what the track is about.

When was this review written?

I don't know who Capn' Marvel is or why I'd wanna' read his Black Album review, but as far as 'Cream' *just* being a song about self-motivation...HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Please. This is PRINCE we're talking about. They lyrics are SPECIFICALLY written to be a double-entendre.

"Cream, get on top"

Right there. That's all you need to hear. that proves it.
[Edited 1/22/09 11:02am]

bleutuna said:

Doozer said:

mrwiggles said:

I don't think this guy's review is quality, as I don't think any review could be good 7 years after an album's intended release if the person can't put things into the right context.

I understand when he says it should have never come out, but had it been released in 1987, rather than 1994, the result and impact could have been much different. Does the album live up to they mythical status it was given in bootleg form? We'll never really know, because what we got was an anachronistic work of art. Like any art, it's representative of its time and artist.

What was going on in the world in 1987? Where was Prince musically in 1987, and where was music itself was in 1987?

Think of 1987 - what were the big hits?

"Walk like an Egyptian"
"Livin' on a Prayer"
"I Wanna Dance with Somebody"
"With or Without You"
"Mony Mony"
"U Got the Look"

Hell, that's the year that "Songbird" by Kenny-G hit big!

So this guys review does itself, and its readers, huge disservice by not taking into account what The Black Album was for its time, and what it would have been. Almost a repudiation of music as it was, of Prince as he was before, and whether it was because of extacy or anything else, Prince realized that he didn't want to become that person.

Maybe he was bitter. Maybe he was heartbroken. Who knows. But at some point, Prince decided that Lovesexy was who he was, and not The Black Album. I, personally, like that Prince better, though I doubt Noveau does :p

Regardless, this review is poorly written, full of typos and jargon, and relatively short-sighted in its ability to put things into context. To that, I say, suckit.
[Edited 1/22/09 12:13pm]

http://www.capnmusic.org/princepub.htm

What the original poster should have noted was that Capn Marvel is sort of a jackass, and that's his schtick. He makes fun of stuff on his 1995-era website.

So his review makes more sense, in context (see how I did that?). But his opinions are still as flaccid.

KidaDynamite said:

bleutuna said:

NouveauDance said:

bleutuna said:

Prince decided that Lovesexy was who he was, and not The Black Album. I, personally, like that Prince better, though I doubt Noveau does :p

I like both

I agree the review (on the music) is bunk, he says he thinks that 'Bad' was a "big influence" on TBA?!

bleutuna said:

NouveauDance said:

I like both

I agree the review (on the music) is bunk, he says he thinks that 'Bad' was a "big influence" on TBA?!

I know. That was crazy to me. They sound nothing alike :p
[Edited 1/22/09 13:46pm]

Whatever.
Bob George and Le Grind rock in ways nobody else does. Period.

Well,I got to admit to not liking TBE that much either. It remains the oddball in Prince's catalog since it's such a dark and at times sinister album. ALL he other albums have at least some kind of uplifting vibe to them, TBE just hasn't. Cindy C is a funky party groove but it's also VERY upfront and confronting towards Cindy C. The rest is sinister dark stuff....

Come to think of it', Come more or less has the same vibe to it....

Doozer said:

The reviewer gets it nail on that the albums hype was unwarranted. The Black album is great little album - but not earth shattering. I like the majority of the tracks - and there are some classic prince grooves on it - but it never acheives what it supposedly set out to achieve in appealing directly to the black audiences again. Hell, Dead On It & Bob George even mock the current movement in black music (something even more ludicrous when you consider what he was recording with the NPG a few years later).

The album isnt an account of Prince's genius - but the fact he could leave nearly all the songs on the shelf for 7 years is indicative of his prolific abilities and the album stands as a good reminder of how brilliantly productive he was during this period.

Le Grind, Cindy C, When 2 R In Love, Superfunkycalifragisexy & Rock Hard are all worthy of inclusion on any prince album. I still believe he should have made this album part of another double record, with some kind of light and dark juxtaposition, just as he tried on the Lovesexy tour. It would have had some cool marketing possibilities - with one side of the record sleeve in black - and the other the lovesexy image - at least Walmart would have been able to stock it then!!!

3232 said:

eelco said:

There is a deep sense of humor - but it's moving and a angry. This isn't the playfulness of Movie star or Chloreen Bacon Skin. Dead On It *very* much shows Prince's disdainfor rap. Something that could have generated a lot of bad feeli be from his audience and peers.

But, if you look at the hitsongs that year, Tje Black Album *is* extremely dark in coMparison. It's Anna Stesia vs. u Got The Look sort of stuff.

It would have shocked a lot of people, and make it harder for Prince to try and draw in the hip-hop crowd.

Doozer said: