Prince's World- A story

This is a story thread, jump in at anytime.
(No plywood, staples, and poles please!)

It was a lazy morning and The Nelsons were reading the LA Times, and Variety in Bed.

"Good breakfast, Soycakes" Mani said to her beloved husband.

"Thanks, Love. I know how you love Cap'n Crunch with chocolate soy milk." Prince said with a smile.

"O' Sweet Jesus! Prince read this!" Mani said giving the newspaper to Prince.

The paper said....
[Edited 1/18/05 17:22pm]

Madonna butchers Lennon's "Imagine" on telethon.

They Found ur Masculinity In Lake Minataka

FoxxeManniGann said:

Prince replied, "I going to donate him to the Twin Cities Zoo. That way he'll be near by where I can see him, and I can write off the donation on our taxes."

Mani exhaled in relief. "For a moment I thought u was going to say u going to keep him in the backyard."

Prince with a scold said, "Any resemblance between Michael Jackson and me is purely accidental.

Prince contacted the officials in animal control, and his assistants. Prince’s treasured Masculinity would arrive at the zoo within the week. Prince was very happy, he felt he had recovered a happy piece of his childhood. Or so he thought.

However, he was presently overjoyed. Prince rolled over on the bed, and squeezed Mani’s kneecap.

“Boo Boo Kitty, If you get your red stilettos, I’ll get mine.” Prince said in his fabulously sexy voice. Exchanging devious smiles, the Nelsons ran to their shoe closets. Actually, Prince ran to the west branch of his shoe wing. Sexily shoed, The Nelsons began marital relations.

** THIRTY MINUTES LATER**

“Princess, That Was A Plum Pleasing Pleasure!”, A plum pleased Prince proclaimed.
“Ur Welcome, Sugarpuss.” Mani purred.
“Can you rub my Achilles tendons for me, Boo Boo Kitty? Prince asked his beloved wife.
“Sure Baby. Uncross so I can get at them.” The Purple Princess said.
Mani is an expert at rubbing her husband heel tendons, which are permanently stuck in high heel position like a Barbie Doll. Mani was relieving Prince’s pains when the phone rang...

It was non other than Jennifer Aniston.
“Hello, Prince, “ she said sounding calm and collected, “this is Jennifer.”

“Bitch I told you not to call my ass at home.”

“I’m not interested in that right now, “ Jenital6 replied (that was his special name for her.” She continued, “I want to buy your alligator from you. I have something special planned and will need him for it. Meet me at First Ave at 9 PM tonight. Don’t bother with the lotion, chains, handcuffs, and leather swing tonight—it’s not that type of party.”

“Who was that, “ Mani asked suspiciously.
“Nothing, babe—just Warner Bros. again begging for my ass to come back.”

It was at that moment that a powerful flash of light as if from absolutely nowhere for absolutely no reason filled the entire room. Things started to spin and Prince found himself awake in a dark room spread out like a DeVinci Model, tied to a large 7 by 7 foot piece of plywood. Mysteriously and without his remembering it, a large medal pipe was inserted into his rectum and his scrotum was stapled to the board.

Mani was sitting across from him completely naked except for a pair of blue skate shorts, leg warmers, and silver boots.

On her lap there was a …..

Oh well.

Mani had a portable lie detector machine.
"So ur awake. Now we can begin." She said attaching the wires to Prince.
Prince knew he had a lot of explaining ahead.

"Sweetie Kitty, how did we get here?" Prince asked trying to stall for time.

"Don't be silly Dear, surely u have figured out by now I'm a witch." Mani replied intend on her work.

Prince was speechless. Mani being a witch did explain alot of things, especially her cooking.

Prince thought for a moment, "Well answer me this...

"yes, honey, " Mani replied, "what's your question."

"If a little snake grows up to be a big snake, and the big snakes gives birth...."

FLASH!!!
A ray of light came through an entrance.
In walked a figure standing only 4 feet tall.

It was....

it was mini prince, although not much smaller then normal prince he was his clone never the less.

"where did u come from" prince yelled

"from the light in the entrance" mini prince replied "i have come to make sure you win a grammy next month, i hear that the wood duck usher is your main rival, i think we can come up with a plan to beat him"

"what we will do is this....
[Edited 1/19/05 19:05pm]

jonty1975 said:

jonty1975 said:

Sex Kitten

your face looked so good, i wanted to touch your mouth

sexkitten04 said:

littlemissg said:

None other than Larry Graham.
"Thanks Larry for seeing us on such short notice!" Mani greeted him
"Short? What? Is that like some pun? I'm sick of you making fun of me, Manikitty." Prince cooed back.
"Larry, can you do what we came to do?" Mani smiled.

"Prince, would you like to read from the bible some more?" Larry leaned over with a fierceness in his eyes. His eyes started to change colors and then into a rotating hypnotizer.
"Prince, you love Jehova. You love Manuela. You will hold back on every record from here now until I plan my comeback and am better than you. But most of all, Jehova does not want you to curse, or do anything sexual on stage..."

In through the door Sheila E. bursts along with her purse shaped as a snare drum and drum sticks in her hair used as chopsticks.

"Wake up, Prince." she nudged him.
"I love Jomama, I mean, Jehova" Prince awoke from a dreamy trance.
"Prince, what happened to the nasty little guy who used to hump his guitar and wear assless pants? Don't you see," Sheila E. yelled while pointing toward the computer, "Your fans on the ORG miss that guy. The guy who didn't give a shit what other people thought."

"You know what, Sheila.... you're right. Fuck this shit man... I'm outta this Jehova bullshit... Ya'll haven't seen the last of me, OH no. I'mma make another movie..."
"Prince, please. Don't." Sheila E. smiled.

Prince did a little twirl (circa 1986- Parade Twirl) and magically transformed his bland polka dot suit into some ruffles and lace (circo 1984- Purple Rain) and walked towards the door.

As he walked through the door...

Sex Kitten

your face looked so good, i wanted to touch your mouth

.....Mani leaped from her chair next to Larry
"STOP!" she shouted. "we have worked too hard to keep him this way! I have not been changed into a Vanity Clone for nothing! (granted,i look a hell of a lot better...) Prince! I command you to stop!"
the sound of Mani's voice brought back something of the glaze to Prince's beautiful BROWN eyes. Sheila recognized this look and leaped in front of Mani and Larry, crossing her drum sticks as if in a protective manner.
"you can't stop him now! he's back to the way that he was! the way the ORGERs have longed for him to be! let them celebrate, and we can get back to makin the funky music!"
just then they sky turned black and there were flashes of lightening. in the backround, Larry's raido clicked on and music from Diamonds and Pearls came wafting across the room. Prince strongly and definantly walked out the door, only to run right into.....

Michael Jackson, who told Prince that his butt was his. Prince screamed in a
very lady like manner and ran from the building. Down on the street he
realised he was all alone without a bodygaurd. This scared the shit out of him
as there were real people all around him, he turned to see if there was a
friendly face and bumped into .....

Goldstar said:

"OK, here's another ink blot test, Prince.", Dr Phil continued, "Tell me what you see."

Fighting back tears Prince looked at the photgraph of a black ink blot in the obvious shape of a butterfly.

"I think it looks like..." Prince weezing with tears at this point.
"I think...eeeehhhhh weeee weeeee wooweeee ehheeeee..." snot now dripping down his nose.

"Yes, Prince, go on"

Prince gathered himself and responded, "It looks like standard parttern #57 from the Rorschach ink blot tests to indentify obsessive-compulsive disorder."

It was at that momment that Emo Phillips showed up. In Emo's hand he was carrying....


[Edited 1/21/05 16:47pm]

a key. “Look Princey, that was good try but went through the wrong freakin door! You’re still locked in your inter-most sub-mind!” Emo said.
“Who are you?” Prince asked. Emo could see the boy was truly confused. “I’m what little sense you have fool! I was mini-me the first time, but I failed trying to lead you back to reality. This time I got a key that will only work on the correct door.”
“Why didn’t you give me a key the first time?” Prince asked.
“Well, you’re not the quick friend. I can only do what you think up.” Emo said.
“Hello, Mr. Nelson. Whom are you talking to?” Dr. Phil asked.
“How do I know this for sure, positivity this isn’t reality?” A skeptical Prince asked.
“Would you ever again be caught dead in a Purple Rain outfit?” Emo answered.
That was enough to convince Prince.

Emo gave one last piece of guidance, “One more thing, Larry’s not right about everything. Having a religion is good, but it has to fit who you are, and who you want to be. Not who other person’s want you to be, just like with your music. Think about that, and you should stop trippin.”

He took the key and tried both doors. The green one opened, and he awoke on his bed. Mani was fast asleep with his big toe in her mouth. Prince always felt relaxed after a good foot job. Prince carefully eased his toe from her mouth, and reminded himself not to kiss her until she brushed her teeth. Prince sat and thought very deep thoughts about his life.

Meanwhile....

the phone began rining off the hook
"who is this? prince answered in a confused state
"it's me jilly jill' none other than washed up paiseley park artist jill jones
"betty ford said i had one call before treatment, the story about your masculinity
being found is a lie.i'm sorry to tell u this, she said holding back tears, but your masculinity died a long time ago."
wwwwwaaaahhhhh prince began wailing "oh my masculinity i've lost u forever"
"it was all a plot by Sheila. e ,jilly said, to get u back to ur guitar humping days." prince was almost at the point of a breakdown
when there was a great flash! the phone disconnected , the sky became purple and people seemed to be running everwhere. out of the flash came non other than....

the phone began rining off the hook
"who is this? prince answered in a confused state
"it's me jilly jill' none other than washed up paiseley park artist jill jones
"betty ford said i had one call before treatment, the story about your masculinity
being found is a lie.i'm sorry to tell u this, she said holding back tears, but your masculinity died a long time ago."
wwwwwaaaahhhhh prince began wailing "oh my masculinity i've lost u forever"
"it was all a plot by Sheila. e ,jilly said, to get u back to ur guitar humping days." prince was almost at the point of a breakdown
when there was a great flash! the phone disconnected , the sky became purple and people seemed to be running everwhere. out of the flash came non other than....

FoxxeManniGann said:

littlemissg said:

So will you help me," begged Agent Smith? As Prince pondered the question at hand.....

"Yes, I will, but do you mind if we get DRESSED first?!" Prince replied. Both he and Mani were butt naked.
"We don't mind if you get dress, but..." Ludacris said learing at Mani.
"BACK OFF FOOL THAT'S MY WIFE!" Prince said ready to throw down dressed or not.
"Be cool, be cool, we're leaving! We'll wait downstairs." Willie Smith said leading the others to the door.

"Do you know why everyone feels free to walking into our bedroom? I know it's not because of me." Mani said as she slipped on her robe. "Well Babe, you always felt free to stop in before we were married. As a matter of fact, before.." "Nevermind, nevermind!" Mani replied going to bath. "Be sure to brush your teeth well Pumpkin." Prince reminded. Prince thought maybe they should feel free to drop-in on Will and Jada sometime. "Mani, I going to need help getting my royal penis clean!" Prince called trotting after her.

Downstairs the visitors where talking and looking around...
[Edited 1/22/05 17:15pm]

littlemissg said:

“Who could that be?” Prince wondered aloud as a small helicopter landed on the grounds.
“Look! It’s Dave Chappelle!” said Will Smith pointing as Dave and a small group move toward the house. Prince opened the glass door, “Dave! Man what are you doing here?” Dave and company walked inside. “I came for a re-match. You said we could have one anytime we were ready, and we’re ready!" Prince laughed, remembering how he schooled Dave and his brother on the basketball court.

Ludacris, Will, Lil Jon, and Usher assured Prince that they were more than willing and able to take Dave’s team. The others already had basketball shoes on, and Prince dressed for the indoor court the way only Prince can. He sported his blue satin gym shorts, legwarmers, and sliver boots from the I Wanna Be Ur Love video. “I going to teach ya’ old school style!” Prince taunted.

Mani would keep score. The game was on!

littlemissg said:

FoxxeManniGann said:

FoxxeManniGann said:

Jerome Benton jump out of Morris Day's asshole.
"Tricky's my name and Love is my game, if you ain't got no money, I love ya'll just the same!" He said going into Tricky mode.
"Morris, did you swallow Jerome again?" Prince giggled.

"Can I please speak to you in private?" Morris said pulling Jerome and Prince aside.
"Now... listen, on the count of three, we's gonna school these young cats in a game i like to play called Lake MinnadunkYA! Now what we ought to have is a password on which way you's coming. Now what's the password?" Morris asked.
"You got it!" Jerome smiled.
"Got what?"
"The password."
"OH HELL NO, do not start that shit again!" Prince said breaking their mental sweat, "The password is Purple."
"Purple? Isn't that a little too obvious, Prince?" Jerome asked.
"The Password is... Abra Cadabra. Now BREAK fool."
Prince glided to the left, Jerome took right, while Morris strided dribbling the ball in a pimp fashion while Lil' Jon went up to guard him.
"OOOOOKK!!!" Lil' Jon screamed in Morris' face.
"Such nastiness." Morris said scrunching his face up.
"WHAAAAATT?" Lil' Jon wailed again.
"Don't you know how to say anything other than YEA, WHAT, AND OK?" Morris said getting a little nasty.
"YEEEEAAAAA!!" Lil' Jon smiled with a mouth full of nasty metal (ew).
Just then a limo pulled up beside the court.
Out of the limo appeared Apollonia and Vanity accompanied by...

Sex Kitten

your face looked so good, i wanted to touch your mouth

Kylie.

"This b****'s been claimin' u all did her like u did me, yelled Vanity.

"And Me!" shrieked Apples, "And she all's got a REAL music career. So wassup wit dat?"

"A real music career," Jerome chuckled.

"anyways, Why her and not us?" Apples began undoing her corset.

"Hey hey, u all been initiated. No need for that." Prince ran u to her and stopped her. "Ur pushin' 40! U gotta get some respect! Like Kylie here, she always dressed 2 the 9's!"

Thus distracting the 3 women, he signalled Morris and Jerome and each grabbed one and pushed them into the PP studio. Mani came running up behind yelping, "Hey guys, whatcha doing?" but she was left outside with a slammed door in her face.

Jerome turned to Prince while keeping Vanity's arms locked. "Now what u got planned, boss?"

"Well, first I'm gonna steal this white hood thingy for an awards show, and then I gotta see what I can do with these hot-pants she's wearing. Wow, 3 chicks shorter than me. What'll I do?"