It's when u feel like u are the odd one out that u have to leave it all behind. I will shake the dust of my shoes as well. It is the equivalent of jumping out into space without a parachute. Apparently the head injury was rather bad. The doc winced as he mentioned it. I told him he should put several gold stars outside his office for the number of patients he's kept out of hospital. I said because u didn't interfere with me. I had knowledge of health and medicine since the horse tap! Bless her. Guess sometimes it takes a cracked skull to let some light in. I just wouldn't accept i was gifted at all. Wallop, oh, ok God i'm paying attention now. I can work from home i hope. I saw a pixie with the word under it, 'Believe.' oh if u say so. I went to the post office and got my photos for the whatever and well it looks better than the last one. I won't be looking at that again, shocker! Thank God i don't have to look at it. I project it different from in here. Then again, that lovely old woman has brought me this far and i'm very proud of her dogged determination to hang in there to give the old Git (God) a chance to redeem Hisself in my eyes or i reckon He's dead greedy, keeping me all to Himself all this time. Git, Great Infinite Twit. Oh He set me off. I can't get over the docs surprise. There i was raving on and he just automatically writes me a script for valium. I only went to get the photos validated and see if he would tell Andrew to help me more. I'm always optimistic and invariably realistic it balances my tendency to gushing. I wasn't coming on here tonight because after the two bus trip to the Doctors and back i wasn't wanting to prop on it. I added a sprinkle of chilli to the cheese and onion dip i spread on the wholegrain gluten free slice of bread. I had a Tangerine for instant vitamin C that was immediately bioavailable to help with the toe cramps. I could just be so relaxed as to be almost in a coma, or it's that gluten free food, not a proper feed. I just forget or get bored. I don't feel that hungry. I don't think i can stand another day of being held up here but i know i have to until i find the key to the cage. I've never organized travel overseas before and i haven't the faintest idea of how to go about it, i can't even get past the passport stage. When u feel this dumb it's understandable that it's all a bit too incredible to believe really. I'm not listening to that one. I've got this one absolute belief that what God wants in my life not a thing on this Earth is going to prevent coming to me. I'm always very careful what i ask for He's the Soul of generosity even to a cheeky brat like me. I'm still getting over this place, greenery all around it's heaven to me, one tiny drawback, it's a water wick. No, damp course and it soaks up all the moisture around it in the ground, right next to a creek, home of the Black snakes. No, it wasn't around today. The Kookaburras scared it away the other day. There's a flush of young birds newly fledged around i noticed whilst on the bus today. It has been periodically very warm. Much, much warmer than usual and no frost this May/June that i noticed, once, a little. Like me the weather has changed, I've changed for the better, the weather could be another matter, the jury is still out. Play in this game at their own risk. Mother isn't playing. I sent my son a text to say i had a job he hasn't called back. Funny how when u are planning to leave a place permanently it suddenly becomes dear to u again. I always thought i would die here. I don't now. I needs care i don't have to be here to do that. This was Mam's dream. I don't know if i have ever had one, a dream. I don't believe life is just about having dreams come true. There were so many i couldn't decide which one to want so i never bothered. I just blundered into one thing or the other and low and behold here we are now. I've always found a laugh in it after the fact. God has this well it's wicked honest but oh He's just such a Sweetie u have to let Him have a laugh. As if i wouldn't phone if i could get through, it's the pre paid mobile and imagine how i'd feel if i had managed to catch a free line and then the credit ran out, i'd have a nervous breakdown and that would be that. We'll see who has the patience besides i reckon i'd swoon. It's bad enough when he's floating around as it is. I bet he thinks i can't feel him! What was that about being designed to respond? Primed to i reckon by now. I don't know how i do it, up in the clouds one minute and flat as a pancake the next. Then i do it again. Then i shuffle the music and one that makes me smile comes on and i'm primed for that. I can get out of my body on a tangent doing this creating as i bang away on here and the short twits one is a buzz and a half. Short, what do i know about short. I write and i get carried away if i'm lucky it's fantastic. I mean how do i do it and where does it all come from and there was that flash across the top. I did a back up yesterday. i have an update waiting i'll see to that after here. This little machine has been so good. It needs some tlc. What a wonder it is. It feels like yesterday. It still has the novelty value for me. I do feel a bit like Alice in wonderland. It's getting a bit hot here, it could be the cup of tea i've just made. This jumper is like a heater. Honestly the mind meets are wonderous. Ok that's an hour. Nah, i'm still hungry for this. I owe u something, America and a few people especially. Oh just keeping me together when i should have fallen apart long ago. I feel u have a right to know and i know i'm the only one that can show it to u. It will be a miracle for me to get there. What could make an old woman leave everything and move half way around the world for a new job, she's effing loopy. Rack off, courageous. Nah, just nuts and grateful for all i've gleened from there and then, to now and him, so u have to know, how and why. Bonus i'll know then too, don't u think i would want to know what i've done too? The doc said it was a serious head injury, the drill hole behind my ear is proof. Something has happened and it might be good to quantify exactly what has been achieved, not for me to know, i don't care i'm enjoying it anyway as much as i can. I kinda like running off at the fingertips. I even like correcting mistakes because i can do it without looking sometimes. I Love that, it's just automatic, my finger finds the new key and swish gone. When i recall how much i.., never mind i like this one better. I like this proficiency i seem to have sometimes. I found that here too. Oh i'm sure there's a Heaven above, this gives me the chance to show u u don't have to wait, have it here first and take it with u, God wants to know how u made His dream come true for u down here on Earth. I thought, wouldn't it be wonderful to have a kind of church where u don't worship on whatever day u choose, u go just to have a brag session on how God has worked His miracles in ur life all week, it will mean u've been looking all week. U brag about how good God is. He gets off on that. He's never quite sure we see. To u all in deep gratitude for this grant Infinite and eternal peace, joy and Love, take care, God Bless and Be Well.xxxxxx