It was ur idea. As i just thought i'd prepared properly nah, one important fact ain't no way i'm going to make anyone laugh if i've got two icebergs to prop on so i got the warm water bottle happening and right as rain. Yes, and way too much of that too Stretch thanks all the same. That rain is not purple. Rack off hairy legs. Got no plonk and haven't ever had exstacy and the other chemical crap. In the late 60s even the crap then was crap. I made a rule to keep to what i can see comes from a plant for all medicinal purposes. I do like to chuff on. I was just right today to get to watch a dvd, 'Sign of the Times.' Such a ham! Always, thank God for consistancy, I do Love consistancy. I like to be able to rely on my goodies to keep giving me pleasure. It's a two way thing too see. Oh the significance is i watched it on the laptop, yeeha!!! I messed about a bit and there it was, typical it would be one of his videos, (i bought a 3 set, Purple Rain, Under the Cherry Moon and Grafitti Bridge). I ogled that up and then put Ab Fab on and i couldn't find the play button. I didn't get any sound. Typical! Give me a taste and then take it away. I found the media suite on the desktop so that much was a breeze. I only had enough patience to play the one dvd anyway. I was just practicing learning how to use all the keys. I tried to speak to my son to ask him how my daughter is. No, not able to talk now will call me tomorrow. I haven't restocked my fridge since the power went out. I don't get heavy foods to cart on the bus it wears me out for days and it's not occurred to my son that i may need help restoring stock. I wonder how much the joke of a so called 'lifestyle' in this backward outhouse's drinking culture has contaminated my gene pool. My ex devalued both my children i just can't get over it. One's a serving wench and the other's a builder's laborer because the dealers won't pay decent wages. I can't get over the state of my family. See this is what a wasted life looks like. I don't see a human one week end to the next unless i go to the shops for supplies. I enjoy the positive interaction with people i pay money for items to, it's better than nothing at all. I can't cope with this facebook thing all those faces of people i may know and don't of course i don't go anywhere or belong to any groups to have any contacts. I think i recall saying i read Dale Carnegie's book 'How to win friends and influence people.' so i would know what i was doing to have to stop doing because i was attracting the wrong sort for the wrong reasons. I was getting over being mauled coming here and it's all i got when i was sweet white meat. I was not supposed to let anyone sink the flagship. It took a shod horse. I have had to learn to work around the side effects of it ever since. I have the facility to really let rip to make a point if i have to without moving any of my emotions to do it like a banshee. Parent Effectiveness Training, ur allowed to 'act' angry. I also get really angry with politicians that keep pulling focus on to them when they get the chance to open something if it makes them look generous while we know they have the knives out behind the scenes to cut social spending one way or another. Surely that 'Superfund' they've stashed away for the pensions of the public service is generating enough interest to fund the other services they are cutting in health, education and other services. I've watched for the past 4 decades nothing in the way of equality has reared it's ugly head here. Now everyone knows it's in the Charter of Human Rights that we are all to be treated equal. I accepted poverty as the natural expectation for a Mother. What do we need to own anything for the husband is going to take care of us isn't he? Dearest darlings most of the men out there don't know what their responsibility is in being a husband and father. I feel sorry for them and sorrier for us women with so much Love to give choked up because who would throw pearls before swine, again and again and again and again? I'm a sour old bitch whose son is disrespecting. I could rip the twats throat out. U don't mess with an old bitch like me that's had many seasons to learn defence techniques. He's never survive that in a pack. Avoidance can go both ways too. I am not happy feeling this way what would he expect, i don't think either of my children will bother with families. I don't approve of the way they treat me and there's not a damn thing i can do about it so suck it up bitch. That can drag me down a suicidal spiral if i let it too. I've been alone too long i don't know what is a normal response, just a source of torture for my Soul. Wtf am i doing here? Everything i've tried has failed. Three home births and i end up without any family support well ok one's dead he can't help it. Look out this is rollercoaster time. I didn't have any plan i just let one unfold as it presented itself. I've played it all by ear not by anyone elses script that i know of. I rolled with all the punches of no childcare, hell i had all the children at home because if i'd listened to any of my peers i wouldn't have any and come to think of it i'd be wealthier too, i would have avoided the cost of hospital births. I am one of those women that always just wanted to be a woman of my own making not one fashioned by any other idiots on the planet, done. Doesn't mean i've avoided the crap the idiots created. It just made me feel rather above the rest. It's confirmed so many things i've known forever and lived by. It could explain my better quality of life than my Mother had after two world wars. 6 years to go to the age my Mother died at. 3 to when my Father died. Very disturbing doco on about the amount of plastic in the bellies of seabirds they are picking up. That's forty years old news now, we do already know about the rubbish in the oceans, people my age early 60s have heard it all before, no one was able to do anything to stop the manufacture of plastic toys and stuff. I know how useful it is i lived in a car on the street, it's very handy. I refuse to believe that we the people can't take care of something so simple, contain the waste and reuse the plastic. There is a technology in Belguim that without polluting the air melts all kinds of plastics into a porrige extrudes it into moulds that can be used to build things out of. It drills, saws and paints up like wood but won't rot or get termite attack. Syntal they called it. I've handled samples of it. It replaces wood in places where they required hardwoods, park edges, benches and playground fencing, parking bays etc. It would have made me a lovely compost cube. Oh and how about those women trained up to take on the dipsticks over there. I heard them say that if they are killed by a woman they don't go to Heaven. I'm looking forward to seeing that, i knew there was something they could do. Who'd have thought it. God bless the trainers, what about those Norwegian women service people going in to train them as well. Strategy and tactics will get that day won. How come the dipsticks got to kill all those Yaziris, 300 they said. Religion or resources? I don't want to live in a world that allows this kind of chit to keep happening in the name of what? God hasn't anything to do with it. The fact that, to those lunatics i am an infidel sickens me to the stomach. One captured killer said he used a blunt knife to take one persons head off so it would make him suffer more, it made him happy he said. They mean anyone not of their faith. Easy, outlaw all religions. We can create free equal societies all over the globe, what is their beef with it? Mother Earth, Dearest Darling, little bit further over and U'll get them next time, Nepal was close but sorry Ma, no cigar this time, bit further West Mam. Thanks. Nearly got the idiots. She'll get'em. She's coming to get u people, all over the globe. I'm getting waterlogged, lucky me, oil the woods. Others won't be that lucky, it's a matter of how much of the work already done, my history works. I could get involved in the youth clubs and pull them better facilities than the ones the councils stick them with. We children in my 'hood had purpose built large gyms, built with playing fields and basket and netball courts/tennis courts adjacent to them. Greenspace is essential for growing children. Greens, like golf courses have a calming effect on us. Tiger knows. It's perfectly true. I'm at my happiest surrounded by it. I practically moo. Such a simple thing i want for everyone, greens. Alright they'll take some water to get going but they make their own eco systems as well. Mother doesn't take much encouragement, give Her an inch and She'll green it up in no time the addict. She Mosses it first, over a little dirt. I've watched it happen. The moss creates a little dirt holding network and builds on it. My backyards interface with the bush is so wet the moss just goes off out there. Then the moss dies off in summer only to start over on top of the roots left after winter. The social safety net often spoken of is supposedly woven from strands of at least four areas of the social framework, 1) the community service, 2) the church, 3) the family, 4) the police. I couldn't find any help when i was being bashed. None of them intervened to help me get away from the perp. and keep him away. Whatever the situation those are the services, that people have to keep themselves from falling to the gutter. It's cheaper to stop people falling that far, than to let them be completely ripped to pieces because we can't navigate the chit heap of society, it takes decades to recover, if u ever do. If any one of these supports fails, it fails everyone especially the children, look at mine. Each one of these sections of the community have a vested interest in there being victims, they get funding for it. One or other of them is supposed to have a solution or two up their sleeves as long as u fit their criteria. They will TAKE care of u maybe but they won't GIVE care to u unless u tow their line. It's not good stuck inside with all the rain, all along the coast. Painful for the joints. It's 27 in the Alice. I can feel a trip coming on. I'm getting ideas! I don't need a passport just an armed escort passed the last outpost. Joking, maybe. Stop chewing the split nail, there's half the UN.O. that's my United Nations Omelette, with the identity crisis. I was lucky i had the impulse to crack all the eggs into a seperate bowl first, one was black. I'm ok so far, same as before only a little less of the Morrocan spices. I remembered the Tamari this time. I knew it would make all the difference, i want the salt. Just to make sure they harden up the arteries nice. Oh, is that the Chorizzo or is that u, God it's so hot. It's Autumn, not warm, i'm cooking in here. Kettles on, at least then i'll know why i've got a hot flush again. I didn't even end up airborne. Gee it's going to be good when i know what i'm doing on here. I mean operating the machine properly, like i know how to. Now that's a big well done to the facilitators for me being able to get this far. Thank u for the little tone before the Affirmation that made me jump out of my skin at least three times before u put that in. It works, i don't jump. 'Memories are that way.' has a long note i get an echo with when i try to sing in tune to it, it's spooky. So whatever i was wanting to take my mind off i've done that. I keep waking up, i'm still upright, it's ok, it's not so bad. I'll get by. I'm way in front i ate. I saved half, i was too full, i could have that for breakfast or later, it's a test run i want to see if there are any, u know ramifications, so far so quiet. Got my fingers crossed this battery isn't recooking it on it's way through, i don't know how much radiation it gives off. Time will invariably tell. It's getting warm again, it's one of those guitars. I saw it on the dvd, today, amazing no wires, 1987, 'Sign o' the Times.' It's old hat now i guess but i only noticed it recently, no wires. When did that revolution in guitar electronics happen, i was asleep or childrearing? Well no one can dance like Prince hooked up to an amp. Oh ok, no one can dance like Prince. Forget it i don't care to watch, he's spoiled me for others. I'm rationing myself. That masterpiece of a behind. I had to remonstrate with me for looking, i couldn't drag my eyes off it. The hair, the eyes, the smile, the hands and the bonus, God could U have set this up any better? what a deck! Ah none of that means a thing without the deeds. There's a richness in our lives that we can draw upon that takes years to bank. I've just remembered, these times grow outcomes that can be lovely. It's a space to appreciate how far u've travelled whatever way. To quietly celebrate surviving another day. For me well wall to wall Prince music all day for as long as i want, i'm in Heaven. That's worth celebrating. It didn't look right i had to see. Pulling out the dictionary. I'm just being a bit amazed by this machine and this circumstance and it's mind boggling. I couldn't have dreamt this in a million years. i bet i'm not the only one. I mean really, who dreamt this up for us? I learned about posting charges to accounts in an International leather manufacturers on a Burroughs latest big Bertha accounting machine, I actually got to do some of the posting on this ledger machine. I loved it. I'd have a go at any gadget. Either a Burroughs or IBM executive is reported to have said he could only see the demand for oh, maybe 8 machines, (pc's) world wide! I was about 16 then! What did they know then? It's been that way for a long time those of little wisdom making decisions about what we will have in society because well it's their right or perceived privilege. Every generation's version of what we all need to have. Few if any of them any wiser than their ancestors. It isn't any wonder those women are standing up for their rights now. It's not as if they have been given anything to make their lives any better. I'll bet the tv's cause the men trouble over there. Shocking report of a young woman being killed on the street while the police were there. Civilization is lost on them. How many nations have vanished off the face of the Earth because their leaders wouldn't learn the art of peaceful trade with the neighbors? Don't they see how they are reducing the economic viability of the country. The west can buy their pharmaceuticals if they can still produce it. Continuity of supply is going to have to be guaranteed. I can't do this without painkillers especially in the East coast low here just now. Ageing has a few drawbacks for most Mothers. One of mine leaned on the Sciatic nerve and it really kicks off now and again. One of, means i don't want to recall the other battle scars. I was lucky trying to plane around that corner on the bicycle when it hit the suncken grate hole, that i didn't hit my head again, when i hit the road in 1975. That was close call number 3. One getting hit by a car on the pedestrian crossing propelling me along the road about 30 feet and i get up and walk away, then fall off the horse and end up in hospital, then the trying to lay the bike over going around a corner after that. I think i learned to stop being a tomboy through it. I was 23 maybe. I switched interests then and got into power tools. If i need to i can use it. I trimmed a sandstone footing off with a mini Kanga hammer one day for the builder. He wanted to re-employ me, after i'd gotten a job as a Gynaecologist's receptionist/secretary, speculum scrubber and bottle washer. Both interesting jobs but oh God how i hated the typing!!! I still wouldn't do it anywhere else but here. I completely lose track of time on here. I could be on another planet for all it matters. U know it's part of that affirmation, 'I release anger in harmless ways, love relaxes and releases.' LLH. The other thing is, i suspect once it's out of my mind it's going to generate energy, i use a journal usually. Then i'm the only on to know. This is my way of putting God on a spot to get things done quicker. Eee by gum, i know i've got a cheek, two actually, God Loves it. Well do u know anyone else that has the juice to rev His engine? Imagine how He feels then! I'd be cinders if He didn't like it. Well i have to be honest with Him, i promised. I reserve the right to be a tactless bitch with Him sometimes He's got my son over there, or not he may have returned i don't know. I've been grateful a long time for not always knowing the answers and even more grateful when i ask the right question. I've noticed by trying to find the right question to ask, a possible answer seems to attend it. Then again that has taken a few years of acquisition. Patience and knowing that i will have the answer to whatever i need if i just 'carry on and keep calm.' That is a 2nd world war slogan that's been around for decades too, the 'carry on and keep calm.' It just makes perfect sense, regardless, we have tasks to do daily, best we get on then. Oh i'm not having that i'd have to add, 'carry on, keep calm and have a laugh.' at urself if there's no one else. I'm as daft as a brush if it will make me laugh. That much i owe myself. There's this lonely little frog croaking underneath the house. I wonder when it will occur to him/her that the dry spell means all his/her relo's have moved closer to the creek? It would be under water in that area, it's a swamp out the front of there and out the back as well. It drains but constant rain means constant pools of water on the surface. I will have to go out and dig a ditch again at the bottom end of the fence over in the field next door, it's higher than this ground so of course it floods into here. They know all about this place at the housing dept. it's not a new problem. They won't do anything and i will when i get the impluse to sweat buckets. It's driving me up the wall, bonk, bonk, bonk ad infinitum hours on end. As long as there's water there it's going to 'bonk'. Oh it's nothing just now, there's only one this time, imagine what it was like when the colony was in full swing, u know 'bonking' all night long in more ways than one! I expect i was really jealous. Oh well that's life. Shh don't say anything, it's stopping, just the odd one now. Spoke too soon. It hasn't quite given up. Time to tootle. To u all in deep gratitude for this grant Infinite and eternal peace, joy and Love, take care, God Bless and Be Well.xxxxx

like! unshackled, unfettered, unchained