I'm chomping at the bit people. I'd be there now but that passport treck isn't happening just yet. I'm sad for u, what would that young man in Africa say about how much u have learned over there now? It was a bit of xenophobia, a man who made a shop in one state outside his own had his store looted and trashed. The Mother's of the town would be the ones to suffer. I know it's a sign of the times, playing in my ears now. So how easy is it to change the signs. I saw also the earthquake damage in Nepal and the erruption in or near Argentina, Holy Guacamole is Mother spitting the dummy or what!! I got a feeling that the Elder's of America's 1st Nations people are the ones to sort this out. That place looks like a few trees wouldn't go astray. Not easy to put back now that it's all concrete and bitumen. Right get the bulldozers in and dig the sodden thing up and smoke it. It needs a healing ceremony doing and a change of purpose. It looks from the clips i saw that the place wasn't built with the wellbeing of the people uppermost in the minds of the developers, they wouldn't see the sense of putting in alotments for the residents to hire long or short term to grow their own foods. They have alotments because well some of us would cause no end of trouble without a bit of sod to sock it to. It's healthy. Seriously it's a 'growing thing' thing! I believe it's in every human to yearn to make the Earth yield up to them Her fruits, come on Mamma gimme Ur sugar. There is a Primary Producer in all of us. (What if they could get heavy duty poly tunnels in the mountains and the deserts overseas to grow foods all year round?) Make above ground wheelchair accessible gardens and let those that are of the Primary Producing kind let rip and have some fun for a change. I saw how gray and depressing the whole area that friction was going on in was and it depressed me. Dig it up and repurpose it. It needs parks and playgrounds. Sorry what would i know. It was that tutor in TAFE college, told me i was a lateral thinker and philosopher and her with all those degrees too. Very generous of her. Well she said i should do Urban Planning. I have a human touch. Don't tell anyone. The pigs i don't like them at all. Humans i mean. I don't call the law that name because they have always saved my bacon, pardon that, not a pun even! Well they have it's true. Uneducated and uncivilized creatures that don't know they are alive in the first place act like animals, i'm worried about the ones wanting to get an education because they see the benefit of sanitation and clean water and not chitting in their own nests. seeing education as a ladder out of the place fate landed them in. I saw the Mayor, stunning woman, i feel she is in shock, just now, recalling the scene to mind and questioning how it felt, say, she also understood some had hijacked a peaceful protest and gone feral, because they could of course. They had permission for the peaceful protest, my point would be, why should they feel the need to protest? Surely the community would be kept informed about this and would have been listened to? They would know the deaths are unacceptible for anyone never mind the color. It's obvious this is exactly what all those so inclined would want to happen, some profit from the confusion and the innocents suffer as usual. Some believe it's impossible for black and white to get on, twaddle. That poor woman was so sad about this state of affairs, i felt so sorry for her in that situation, during her time there. Not helpless, but despairing. I understand she would be, so would i. Rather her than me. Say u will evacuate all the women, children and elderly out of the area, into where they would Love to live, anywhere but in that place, they'll move happily i bet. It looks dismal. I know u Love Baltimore i saw u say it on the tv, however until they change their attitude leave the dudes to their own devices and make the crims plant the trees and dig up the concrete! They want to be on the street let them clean it up.Wadyareckon? How fast will they stop the crap when they have to make their own meals and do their own laundry. Let's get the Grandmother's out with armed guardsmen that'll sort the sods out. They would know exactly who's stirring up hatred. It get's world coverage this and like here all the suicides daily go unreported are they expendable too. What a great big crock of karmic ooze, no wonder some are driven to booze, or pills or pot or God knows what, stop it u i'll be at it all night once i get rhyming stuff. Such beautiful eyes and smiles oh what do u hide behind them? I fill up with Love and it then overflows. How does that happen only God knows? He's my boon and my muse, sent to taunt and confuse. Until he has all i can give. The bain of my life, the thorn in my side without which i doubt i could live. After 24 years he's a bit like a well worn jumper. Bestest of all. Snugly. Very warm. That passage of time is something to cherish for me. I wasn't aware of the significance then now it's poigniant to the enth degree. Sweet. That 'all out' on the 1st May is looking really inviting to pull women's labor out to get the mcp's to see they couldn't run a piss up in a brewery without us and we are sick to death of them crapping all over the neighborhoods ok! Go get 'em Sister's! Thing is, i refuse to imagine it's a hopeless case this race relations over there. (Got me jar of cashew's, groping inside the jar i go to put what i thought was a nut in my mouth only to find it's an earphone.) So i won't believe it's a lost cause, I mean get real look at the President! I could be cynical and accept what i've heard that it was just a gesture to sooth the mob. Where's Geronimo when u need him? Independant umpire between black and white. After all this time who'd have thought? Then there's all the people drowning in boats crossing the Mediterranean from Africa for a better life in Europe. When are people going to stop killing each other? Haven't we learned anything in all this past 50 years? Yes well i started looking outward when i got those encyclopaedias at 13 i've been watching u world, u ain't pretty. I Love Earth but we've made this place a pigsty and seem determined to trash it just for the sake of starting again is it? Tea up! Kettles on, i'll have to be careful i got fresh red seedless grapes and some of them are orgasmic. It zings along every nerve. I've never tasted anything like them before in my entire life, 63 summers. No wonder they're orgasmic. It start's with, the eyes can't see straight and then the head goes over to one side and the spine tingles. That wasn't even one of the good ones. It works better if u switch the kettle on u know. They do know don't they, they won't stop white people Loving black people or vice versa, it wouldn't matter ever, we're made that way from birth. That Love is so strong nothing and no one can ever defeat it and that's all there is to it. I can't be doing with all this jealousy, it's just so petty. Not about the recent deaths, i think this has been there under the surface for a long time. Hey u know another good use for that area would be a dance hall. I'm so sorry if that offends some people's religions but i'm not here to please everyone. I would Love nothing better than to please my twin flame wherever he may be. I don't want any other i don't need anyone, just that one and i'd rather die alone than have any other ever. I'm very blessed with this place to hang out in. I wonder if that is the veil i hide behind? Yeah, i'm a bit emotionally obtuse when i feel like it. He's around somewhere. No rush. I'm looking up at my little black cherub i painted with the gold hair. Some of them ain't being very cherubic at the moment! He's always a cherub that one. There isn't anywhere in history that i know of that two wrongs make a right. This is like back and forth for hundreds of years one way and another. Where are u all? MarZ. Man made world, man made problems, man can muckin' well fix 'em! See Prince knows 'a little discipline is all u need' and then starting to win some instead of looking to lose all the time. The words in 'U make my sun shine.' 'The only reason they're winning is 'cause i keep losing.' I lose when i believe i need more than i am at present. I'm in a situation that i have to be all i need. Cigarettes were my pimp. They're not now. Where's me tea. There's something else i fancy lurking in that cupboard i don't know what it is yet but i'll think of it eventually. I got 2 pkts of 'Cowboy Chili' is was on special. That could be a clue, it could be around there somewhere. I know i was thinking about an Apricot Delight. Well, i was hoping it was the Coconut one but no, just the reeeeeeeeeeeally potent one without it, oh well, i'll have to put up with just the odd burst of pleasure. Fingers and toes crossed there isn't too much sugar in them, i don't want to have to cut them out. Flattens the groove. I haven't learnt much about preparing gluten free foods. My diet is plain but spicey. It's completely weird for someone from where i come from. Then again i'm eating to accommodate my teeth. I haven't been keeping the Teatree up to the toothache and hot tea makes it ache. My fault. I'm just ignoring it, it's bound to go away. I make my immune system work overtime. I just like the clouds though. See all that sugar or something means could be smoking basil for all the effect it's having anyway. There's a change and it's not altering back only forward, anyone would think there was a one way valve. I just want to stay at this grade. That isn't going to happen either, i like the groove though. That would just let all sorts of negativity build up and He won't let that happen. I can always drum up some righteous indignation about something going on either in my vicinity or somewhere around the globe. Now that is the other thing when u talk globalization u involve global citizens how many have we got to date? I've seen some shocking film of the mess, on the rivers in Bangaladesh(?). I see red as u would expect. There's no excuse for this, i don't care what anyone says. I want the United Nations to organize a fund for the supply and installation of water and sewerage systems in all the countries the big labels have garments made in have an act drawn up to protect these people from the exploitation by their local employers and the multinationals that haven't yet fully engaged their integrity in business, before 'we the people' stop buying their products. People in the first world won't crib about paying an extra 5 dollars per garment made in a third world country by people without safe places to live and work in, when they know this money is not being spent this will then buy bullion to set up the Trust to build the sewerage and water systems, safe housing will then follow. Look out militant Mother of the Global kind on the warpath. How sainted do i feel only my socks and knickers are brand new, everything else i wear is 2nd hand, oh, my hug boots and shoes too mostly new. I won't buy 'new' anything if i can get what i need from an op shop, it's kinda my religion. I got the best little belt in the Red Cross the other week. I was replacing one i have worn out and i found this one. Much better leather too. Perfect fit. I think the buckle and the edged tip could be silver even. I'm over the Moon with it. Funny u know it's only one cup out of ten that tastes right these days. It's a matter of being present and i'm not all the time. I'm grateful i'm aware of it. The tea is like gnats pee. Mainly hot milk not much tea flavor. I just have to leave it steep one minute more, nah too keen to get back to this. Well i could be on a timer or something i don't know do i! It still boggles my mind as it is imagine how mind blown i'm going to be when i actually get taught how it works properly. Providing i can concentrate long enough, might depend on the teacher!!! I get distracted easily. Usually. What a load of crap that lead line. As if he'd take any notice of other's saying he's got no taste! Being as we are alike i stopped taking any notice of other people's opinion of me when i was oh, 14 or so. It all boils down to what u think of urself and that's in ur hands, i thought. Then my Mother said those immortal words to me, 'I don't care who likes me i like myself.' I've spent the other part of my life that didn't include other people, studying the question of me, i'm no, wiser are u? U have to tell me i have to know. I have to write about the TBI and how i get around the side effects. I haven't any accumulated energy i spent it carting 6 liters of milk etc. on the bus. I've been sitting around feeling very lazy all day, just accumulating a bit more energy to do some more of the jobs around that couldn't be done when the power was off. No, hurry, they'll keep. I want to do some Archery practice. I have to see if those wasps are still around, they kinda put me off. The lawn wants attention too. Oh i let loose with the blower on the leaves around the carport and up the driveway today. The 10 year old taught me that one. I let Tami loose with it on the weekend. Today I had fun with it. I was amazed at how easy and fast it was. I felt guilty. It's a rechargeable blower that came with the whipper/snipper. It was such a pleasure and so fast i felt guilty as if i had cheated. I'm going to do that again. Earlier on the phone rang, i was on the throne, drat i didn't have the thing on me. It stops just as i get to it. My son. Don't worry linda it was an accident, he didn't mean to ring me. I sort myself out dry hands and phone back, yup i was right, accident. How did i know that? Independant boy/man, well, according to Gail Sheehy 'provisional adult'. Can't fault that woman's research. 'New Passages.' helped me through peri/menopause. That book and 'Iron John.' by Robert Bly, should be required reading for all men and women at some point in their education. I want to understand this family of humanity so i can clout it around the head when i need to. Like now, climate change has made some people act out, stop it. I'll sik Mother on ya! What would u like, earthquake or cyclones, we can do whichever u like so u learn fast to settle ur differences peacefully. Mother is sick of the noise and stench of death. Stop it. Or face the consequences of a very angry Planetary Being that can cause total destruction and will with the constant provocation human fools create. Earth does not need us. We need Her. We Love Her or She will lose us. Loving Her(in my garden work) has made all the difference in my life, well this too but She has kept me alive. When there's not another thing in my life, i have that to get me through the darkest of nights, there are still things i can do for Her. This body is made of Her. We all owe Her our lives. I enjoy Her everyday i look. My garden is constantly changing before my eyes yet without me noticing. It gives constant wonder. My eyes leaked again. Wonder where the Moon is then? Just checks, Leo. Figures. That's a global chart so it applies to the Northern Hemisphere. Mars around until tomorrow then it slips into the perfectionists sign, Virgo. See what the headcases get up to then. How introspective is Virgo? It's all too complicated for me to bother with. Play it by ear in the moment on the day, one day at a time, saves lots of anxiety. I'm useless at making plans and keeping to them. Just as well i have that aspect of TBI which means i can keep on a project for a very long time if i have to. As it says in 'Cream.' 'Make the rules and then break 'em..' Love it. It was as if i got permission to just be exactly as i was, that is what i do anyway. It's what makes me fire off 24 arrows and stop on the 25th with a 9. I hadn't anything to prove to me had i, i'd done what i set out to prove, half an inch off the bullseye without any practice for months. Yes, i have a skill i don't recall knowing about before now. Except before '92/'93 i started with a child's set and never got to progress then, now, well now i know i do have the skill i don't care how far i take it or not. I didn't need to show me i could do it. I wanted to honor Geronimo. He gave heart to his people. He gave me heart to read about him. When i didn't have Prince i had Geronimo in the book by Forrest Carter, 'Watch for me on the Mountain.' The Sierra Madre. The other Mother Mountain spat the dummy. Mars about, figures, the War Shaman would pop in for a haunt. That fills the pool up as well. My son can't figure that out any more than i can other than to say i've got a warped sense of humor just like God. Well one minute i can be bawling my eyes out and then i get the other angle and laugh my head off, that's not a mood swing that's nuts. I used to think there was something wrong with me when i was young i never cried over anything unless i fell over or something painful. I never had anything to weep over. Life soon took care of that, parents usually go first anyway, my son was a shock. Add the rest and then there's this change that makes clear bleeding feel fine. It's as much for joy as for sorrow. It's ok and then there was that primal scream i thought i was going to die, not quite, scared the crap out of me though. That was 'Smiles alot.' doing something totally out of character for a 1st American Warrior, worse even at the top of a bluff in front of the whole tribe he shouts at Kevin Costner, oh here they go again, 'know i will always be ur brother, know that i will always be ur friend.' I had that knowledge before i saw the movie, i had watched that movie before just this one time i was alone and the total impact hit me. So U move me America, it's going to be Ur turn soon. I'll get there. God willing. (I've already put the gardening gloves in the case.) It's like i can't help i care about so much it's my nature, it's a bit extreme. I like being happy. I can't be happy with a clear conscience while others are suffering. I don't like it stop it. So, i care. I don't like my joy being stolen by others pain. I know it's not my karma to be suffering like them or i would be. I have to stop watching tv news to stop me coming over all sorrowful, where there's life there's hope so sort it and let me get on with my joyful discovery of this life i've still got, i just keep waking up, i'm here for some reason yet to be disclosed i suppose, God hasn't seen fit to give me the flick so i must be still amusing Him, how cool is that, i'm happy. I'm not saying i couldn't be a bit happier, i'm just worried i'm being greedy. What if He just likes all the positive feedback i give Him? I Love that i'm just a big kid to God. Such a brat. Well i never got to be a brat when i was a kid i'm making up for it. Better late than never and much more fun. See as a kid u wake up everyday and never know what's around the corner that's the exciting part, yesterday is yesterday and now is all that counts, every single day. Now it's always that as far as i can make it. I carry pain only as long as i need to learn from it then it's gone. When i smile it's from ear to ear. I know what i know and it hasn't stopped me being full of joy. Now. Whatever comes is grist to the mill of my life and will bake up into the fruitcake i was always meant to be. That deserves a cup of tea. Oh look out who's fiddling with these fingers now? I'm off like a piece of cheese. I broke a rule, i changed the day i can do that anytime i like, i like the freedom of being able to choose more or less, i just like the choice i can give me without rocking anyone elses boat. Oh before i rack off, who tells him he's got no taste? Are u feeling lucky are u? One look from those eyes and they'd wither to cinders. I Love his taste. I wouldn't be here if i didn't honest. To u all in deep gratitude for this grant Infinite and eternal peace, joy and Love, take care, God Bless and Be Well.xxxxx