Jesse Jackson Wishes He Had Obama’s Balls

Jackson is unsatisfied with his johnson

(CHICAGO) Civil rights leader Jesse Jackson admitted Sunday he would like to have Barack Obama’s testicles.

“I want to cut his nuts off,” Jackson, 66, told a friend. Then looking down toward his own genitalia, he said if he could surgically graft the new, younger testicles onto himself, it “would keep hope alive.”

Jackson told The Peoples News that he’s jealous of Obama. In 1984 and 1988, Jackson ran for president but couldn’t get past the primary stage.

Now that Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, is close to fulfilling what Jackson started, the civil rights leader can’t accept that another African American has gone further in a bid for the White House. He used a seafood metaphor to explain his feelings.

“If we were crabs boiling in a pot together and he tried to escape the pot I would pull him back down,” Jackson said. “Then I would cut his nuts off.”

Obama spokesman Bill Burton said Jackson was a hater.

“We don’t need no hateration or holleration up in here!” Burton said. “Damn!”

The civil rights leader’s son, Jesse Jackson, Jr., said he wasn’t surprised by his father’s comments.

“He’s always wished he had the cojones to be a viable presidential candidate,” said Jackson, Jr.

The elder Jackson later said his comments were misinterpreted.

“I support Senator Obama. I hope he becomes president,” Jackson said. “I just want to cut his nuts off and have him not be more popular than me. Is that so wrong?”

Lawd...what the hell is wrong with people?

All he has to do is steal Michelle's purse.

lazycrockett said:

All he has to do is steal Michelle's purse.

Jesse needs to sit his ass down and allow Obeezy to do his thang. It's pure jealousy and when your own damn son is shittin' on you, then you MUST be fucked up in the dome. Jesse, keep hope alive - Just do it at your crib with no microphones around.

New World Order (NWO) - Bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy: Deal with it, muthafuckas!

MuthaFunka said:

Second that.....not to hijack SCNDLS' thread, but it's a joke anyway!

MUTHA!!!!!

Stymie said:

MuthaFunka said:

Jesse needs to sit his ass down and allow Obeezy to do his thang. It's pure jealousy and when your own damn son is shittin' on you, then you MUST be fucked up in the dome. Jesse, keep hope alive - Just do it at your crib with no microphones around.

WELCOME BACK!!!!!

New World Order (NWO) - Bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy: Deal with it, muthafuckas!

noimageatall said:

Second that.....not to hijack SCNDLS' thread, but it's a joke anyway!

MUTHA!!!!!

New World Order (NWO) - Bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy: Deal with it, muthafuckas!

Jesse had a chance to be great, but he blew it. Now he's as jive as the conservatives he criticizes.

MuthaFunka said:

2elijah said:

MuthaFunka said:

Jesse needs to sit his ass down and allow Obeezy to do his thang. It's pure jealousy and when your own damn son is shittin' on you, then you MUST be fucked up in the dome. Jesse, keep hope alive - Just do it at your crib with no microphones around.

Welcome Back Playa!!!!!

New World Order (NWO) - Bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy: Deal with it, muthafuckas!

MuthaFunka said:

Hey McCain...This One is voting for That One!

America/Obama/Biden '08!

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

MuthaFunka said:

Jesse needs to sit his ass down and allow Obeezy to do his thang. It's pure jealousy and when your own damn son is shittin' on you, then you MUST be fucked up in the dome. Jesse, keep hope alive - Just do it at your crib with no microphones around.

Do my eyes deceive me?

Welcome Back!!!!

New World Order (NWO) - Bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy: Deal with it, muthafuckas!

MuthaFunka said:

noimageatall said:

Second that.....not to hijack SCNDLS' thread, but it's a joke anyway!

MUTHA!!!!!

SCNDLS said:

MuthaFunka said:

Jesse needs to sit his ass down and allow Obeezy to do his thang. It's pure jealousy and when your own damn son is shittin' on you, then you MUST be fucked up in the dome. Jesse, keep hope alive - Just do it at your crib with no microphones around.

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Welcome back, Big Daddy! I'm so glad my funky lil 'ol thread was able to host your Welcome Back party.

New World Order (NWO) - Bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy: Deal with it, muthafuckas!

MuthaFunka said:

babynoz said:

MuthaFunka said:

Jesse needs to sit his ass down and allow Obeezy to do his thang. It's pure jealousy and when your own damn son is shittin' on you, then you MUST be fucked up in the dome. Jesse, keep hope alive - Just do it at your crib with no microphones around.

Mutha!

WELCOME BACK BABY BOY!

Jesse ain't happy about sitting on the sidelines...with Tavis.

New World Order (NWO) - Bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy: Deal with it, muthafuckas!

MuthaFunka said: