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Printable version (Log in to 'subscribe' to this topic)Uhope said: It's true what Janfriend said; most JWs don't cultivate close friendships with those who are not Witnesses. Many of the elements that qualify someone for a mate also apply to one's buddy -- shared values, goals, perspectives. Even in a friendship, there is bound to be clashes regarding holidays/birthdays, political issues, etc. I like to find friends that I can share things with, not ones that will constantly have to overlook my beliefs or vice versa. That's not true. People choose to believe things they've never tried. I had a devout JW friend in Jr. high and high school. We shared the same morals and values. She had no goals, however. I respected she didn't celebrate birthdays and holidays and she didn't seem to mind when we occasionally talked about our birthdays. We never had debates about religion. Sometimes I would try to ask her questions about her faith and she never wanted to answer them. Her response was "You would just have to go." I said "If I go to your Kingdom Hall will you in turn visit where go." She flat out said no. I don't wish to be friends with those who did not respect me and she frankly did not respect me as her friend. She never made an effort in our friendship and I eventually stopped keeping in contact. To think of it, she was probably never my friend. I was just someone to hang out with when we had competitions. My point is we never clashed on anything never had conflict, but I guess she thought she was better than me because she was a JW As for the other story of the mom who is a JW. She was baptized. She never felt the need to enforce it on her children. They made their own choices. I know another person who's JW mother didn't have a problem with her adult children choosing another path. All she could do was raise them in "The Truth." | |
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Uhope said: You may accept or decline the invitation.
Jehovah's Witnesses tend to respectfully decline; we feel we have found what were were looking for. No need to visit elsewhere. Others who feel similarly about their faith usually do not accept our invitation, either. Those who are interested, do. I don't see a problem.  No, you flat out decline because that's what you're told to do. How can one find what they're looking for if they never looked??? Anyway, this thread is turning into something else | |
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tmo1965 said: razor said: And the faithful on here say religion isn't inherently devisive. Clearly not...  It's not the religion. This thread got started because a person did not like the fact that their associate is choosing to follow the Bible and marry within their religion. It's the person's reaction to the scripture that is divisive not the scripture. The scripture is telling us how to have less conflict in our marriages. What's wrong with less conflict in marriage? That's not why I started the thread. Don't even start about following scripture. Christians pick and choose what part of scripture they want to follow | |
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Janfriend said: Uhope said: You may accept or decline the invitation.
Jehovah's Witnesses tend to respectfully decline; we feel we have found what were were looking for. No need to visit elsewhere. Others who feel similarly about their faith usually do not accept our invitation, either. Those who are interested, do. I don't see a problem. No, you flat out decline because that's what you're told to do. How can one find what they're looking for if they never looked??? Anyway, this thread is turning into something else I was never told what to do in that regard. I'm simply not interested in attending a different religious meeting. I was a member of another religion, as were many of Jehovah's Witnesses. We did "look and find". But, perhaps you know better than I what JWs are told. 
However, you're the one who brought up double standards regarding meeting attendance, though. Forgive me for answering your statement. I didn't mean to derail your thread.  [Edited 7/21/08 21:48pm] | |
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Uhope said: Janfriend said: No, you flat out decline because that's what you're told to do. How can one find what they're looking for if they never looked??? Anyway, this thread is turning into something else I was never told what to do in that regard. I'm simply not interested in attending a different religious meeting. I was a member of another religion, as were many of Jehovah's Witnesses. We did "look and find". But, perhaps you know better than I what JWs are told.
However, you're the one who brought up double standards regarding meeting attendance, though. Forgive me for answering your statement. I didn't mean to derail your thread.
[Edited 7/21/08 21:48pm] Sorry, I thought you were raised in it. I was referring to those who are raised in it | |
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Uhope said: KidaSaurusRx said: alright, i mean really, who are we to think we can say yay or nay to someone's relationship, unequally yoked or no?????
that person that you think you know, may know something you don't know. Certainly, it's up to the couple involved to make that determination. 
The challenge is if they DO end up unevenly yoked and it's not working, they wanna complain and moan to everyone who tried to warn them in the first place. The counsel in the Bible is there for us to learn how to benefit ourselves -- it's not really doing God any favors. Ya makes ya bed, ya lies in it. 
[Edited 7/21/08 16:46pm] that's funny cause i've seen couples who were alright until parents/inlaws decided to get involved. | |
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Uhope said: LittleRedCorvette said: What I am saying Uhope about not helping who we fall in love with is simply this: You develop a relationship with a friend, you spend time together, develop that friendship, but you do not go into that friendship thinking to yourself "Oh I'm taking this time with him and am going to fall in love with him." Love spontaneously arises. One day, after spending time with your friend, after developing this friendship and companionship, you realize "Hey, I'm in love with him." It wasn't something planned from the beginning, it wasn't contrived, it happened. I have shared time with friends in the past, developed those friendly relationships, and have not shared that deep, passionate love towards them, while I did love them, I wasn't in love with them. While I thought they would make a great husband (for someone else) eventually, I knew I was not the one for them or they for me. And I have shared time with a friend, developed that friendship, and woke up one morning and realized that I am in love with him. It wasn't planned, it wasn't contrived, it wasn't something that I could prevent myself from doing. Love happened.
It's true what Janfriend said; most JWs don't cultivate close friendships with those who are not Witnesses. Many of the elements that qualify someone for a mate also apply to one's buddy -- shared values, goals, perspectives. Even in a friendship, there is bound to be clashes regarding holidays/birthdays, political issues, etc. I like to find friends that I can share things with, not ones that will constantly have to overlook my beliefs or vice versa. I realize this love. What I was saying that even if you have a friend that shares your belief system, does not preclude that you will fall in love with them, even after spending time together. It's not something that you plan for, or make yourself do in any way just because you share the same path. BUT the same is true in the other direction. You may have a friend that you share time together with and share in common practices of faith, and do find that you are in love with them. Simply put, love arises spontaneously, without forethought, without design, without want. You awaken to the experience. Uhope said: LittleRedCorvette said: You also mentioned that my husband and I are evenly yoked in the ways that are important to me, however, the most important thing to me is my spirituality. This is why I said he and I are probably not evenly yoked. My spiritual practices are very active, very involved as well. From your post, there seems to be a bit of arrogance in the assumption that because you are a JW that your practice includes more involvement, or that somehow my spiritual practice is not as important as the JW faith and their involvement with their daily practices. You are assuming that the sadness that a JW feels with the lack of involvement in their spouse is magnified compared to what I might feel regarding my husband's lack of involvement. Hmm, I guess you truly just do not understand the depth of involvement that a Zen Buddhist undertakes in their spiritual journey.
I truly apologize, LRC -- I wrote that post before I read your follow up. I did not mean to sound arrogant in any way.  In fact, after I read it, I thought to myself that you do, indeed, understand what I was getting at regarding the importance of mates sharing spiritual values. Yours is a strong case-in-point regarding the desirability for mates to be evenly yoked in a spiritual sense.
It's most certainly NOT only Jehovah's Witnesses -- it would apply to anyone, religious or not, who had certain values, desires, goals or perspectives that they wish to share rather than endure (or have endured). I am sorry for the misunderstanding. No need to apologize. I wasn't upset in the least, it just seemed a little prideful and was addressing that. And that is exactly the point I was making, when you said it's not just JWs. My spirituality is the most important part of my existence. My whole focus is upon the Divine, whether reading spiritual texts, listening to music that moves me, discussing the Divine with friends, and my meditations. It is what it is.ing one day about racial prejudice, Paramahansa Yogananda said, "God is not pleased to be insulted when He wears His dark suits." | |
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