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Forums > General Discussion > "KingBAD… if I'm stuck in some groovy wet dream, don't pinch me, I'm diggin' the scene."
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Thread started 10/20/20 7:54am

KingBAD

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"KingBAD… if I'm stuck in some groovy wet dream, don't pinch me, I'm diggin' the scene."

"KingBAD… we could... we could make a story of our own!!!"

They Walk Among Us! .....

let me tell you bout em


I was at the checkout of a local Walmart.
The cashier rang up $46.64 in charges.
I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.
I gave the money back to her and told her that she
had made a mistake in MY favor.
She became indignant and informed me she was educated and
knew what she was doing, and she returned the money again.
I gave her the money back -- same scenario!
I departed the store with the $46.64.
THEN
I walked into a Starbucks with a
buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte.
I handed it to the girl and she looked over at
a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.'
"They're already buy-one- get-one-free," she said,
"so I guess they're both free."
She handed me my free lattes, and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us! .....
I was walking down the beach with some friends,
when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked
what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open
24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
My friend's sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us! .....
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area,
so I went to the lost luggage office and
told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because
she was a trained professional, and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
So I replied, "No Ma'am, The Pilot told us we're circling the airport,
3rd in line to land" .....
At a pizza place, I observed
a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him
if he would like it cut into four pieces or six..
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into four pieces.
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE UP SHIT LIKE THIS
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #1 posted 10/21/20 8:43am

KingBAD

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"KingBAD… shall I remain upright, I wish there were no rules."

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet,
and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event,
the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner,
she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,
so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy
how many condoms he'd like to buy,
a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family Pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down,
the girl friend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no Idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was THE pharmacist.
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #2 posted 10/21/20 8:44am

KingBAD

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"I sincerely want to fuck the taste out of your mouth..."

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #3 posted 10/21/20 11:27am

XxAxX

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Skiing GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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Reply #4 posted 10/21/20 11:28am

XxAxX

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Funny Ski Gifs And Animations | gifopotamo.com

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Reply #5 posted 10/21/20 11:29am

XxAxX

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GIF skiing - animated GIF on GIFER - by Dugrel

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Reply #6 posted 10/22/20 10:50am

KingBAD

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XxAxX said:

Skiing GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

eek eek eek eek eek eek

i could never play in snow that long

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #7 posted 10/22/20 11:03am

PurpleJedi

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Hey!

It's been a while....


fishslap

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #8 posted 10/26/20 2:57am

KingBAD

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PurpleJedi said:

Hey!

It's been a while....


fishslap

eek eek eek eek eek

it's amazin that i missed you so many times...

brick

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #9 posted 10/26/20 8:44am

PurpleJedi

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KingBAD said:

PurpleJedi said:

Hey!

It's been a while....


fishslap

eek eek eek eek eek

it's amazin that i missed you so many times...

brick


lol lol lol

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #10 posted 10/31/20 1:40pm

KingBAD

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QUOTE……………. You think you have lived to be 70 and know who you are, then along comes someone who blows it all away!
I recently sat down at Starbucks, I was wearing a tatty old flying jacket that I had worn for many years and I ordered a cup of coffee
As I sat sipping my coffee, a young woman sat down next to me. She turned and asked, are you a real pilot?'
I replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life flying small planes, first Austers, then the early Pipers and Cessna’s..... I've given more than 250 people their first ever flight so I guess I must be a pilot… I said “how about you – what do you do…?”
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women."
We both sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of me and asked: "Are you a real pilot?"
I replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." …………UNQUOTE
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #11 posted 11/01/20 9:29pm

XxAxX

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KingBAD said:

QUOTE……………. You think you have lived to be 70 and know who you are, then along comes someone who blows it all away!
I recently sat down at Starbucks, I was wearing a tatty old flying jacket that I had worn for many years and I ordered a cup of coffee
As I sat sipping my coffee, a young woman sat down next to me. She turned and asked, are you a real pilot?'
I replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life flying small planes, first Austers, then the early Pipers and Cessna’s..... I've given more than 250 people their first ever flight so I guess I must be a pilot… I said “how about you – what do you do…?”
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women."
We both sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of me and asked: "Are you a real pilot?"
I replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." …………UNQUOTE




spit

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Reply #12 posted 11/02/20 8:48am

purplethunder3
121

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lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato

https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0
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Reply #13 posted 11/21/20 2:58pm

XxAxX

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wink

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Reply #14 posted 11/24/20 9:27am

OnlyNDaUsa

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Once at a drive threw I got my $10 bill back with the change due... i said "you made a mistake..." she said "No, I didn't you'll have to come inside..." So I did. Tell the manager and the lady comes over saying she did not make any mistakes accusing me of whatever...

i said: "I gave you a 10 and..."

"you will have come back later..."

I hold up the $17..."you gave me too much back....thanks..."

Then they start all that give it back bs... I walk out... get in my car and drive back to the window and hand it back to her.... "you're welcome!"


Another time I had worked overtime: they paid me for an extra week ($500) of overtime... I called the payrole...

I tell them "I did overtime last month and there was an error in my pay..."

"Well I am sorry you will need to come in and file a..."

I cut her off "Can't we fix it over the...."

She cuts me off "No, if YOU want it fixed you WILL have to come in an file a..."

I cut her off "So if I do not come it there is no other way to correct it?"

"no, that's pollicy, sorry"

"Never mind it was in my favor..."

Then she was all "what's your name what's your empoyee ID..."

I hung up... they never caught it!

"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #15 posted 11/24/20 10:53am

2freaky4church
1

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Kingbad, u will like dis:

https://www.youtube.com/w...okdL-0iV9s

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #16 posted 11/27/20 9:32am

KingBAD

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OnlyNDaUsa said:

Once at a drive threw I got my $10 bill back with the change due... i said "you made a mistake..." she said "No, I didn't you'll have to come inside..." So I did. Tell the manager and the lady comes over saying she did not make any mistakes accusing me of whatever...

i said: "I gave you a 10 and..."

"you will have come back later..."

I hold up the $17..."you gave me too much back....thanks..."

Then they start all that give it back bs... I walk out... get in my car and drive back to the window and hand it back to her.... "you're welcome!"


Another time I had worked overtime: they paid me for an extra week ($500) of overtime... I called the payrole...

I tell them "I did overtime last month and there was an error in my pay..."

"Well I am sorry you will need to come in and file a..."

I cut her off "Can't we fix it over the...."

She cuts me off "No, if YOU want it fixed you WILL have to come in an file a..."

I cut her off "So if I do not come it there is no other way to correct it?"

"no, that's pollicy, sorry"

"Never mind it was in my favor..."

Then she was all "what's your name what's your empoyee ID..."

I hung up... they never caught it!

lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #17 posted 11/27/20 9:35am

KingBAD

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2freaky4church1 said:

Kingbad, u will like dis:

https://www.youtube.com/w...okdL-0iV9s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGIA1hgaqis

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
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Forums > General Discussion > "KingBAD… if I'm stuck in some groovy wet dream, don't pinch me, I'm diggin' the scene."