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Thread started 03/29/19 7:32am

RodeoSchro

It's Friday, so you know what to do




And that's watch March Madness, baby! Go Coogs!

In the spirit of madness, here are some sportsball jokes:

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Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it. (NOTE: He gets 12 credit hours if he goes to North Carolina!)

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

A: Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls.

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Q: How do you know when it's Lebron James' Birthday?

A: Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early. (Ouch, that ain't right!)

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I play in the over-50 basketball league. We don't have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.

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Andrew Bogut walks into a sperm donor bank in London... "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.

"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". "Yes" replies Andrew "you should have my details on your computer".

"Oh yes, I've found your details, as well as your NBA statistics page" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"

"Why do I need help?" asks Andrew .

The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your NBA page that you're a useless wanker...."

*********************************************

My wife was about to put my son in a Chicago Bulls jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

*********************************************

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store. They put a New York Knicks jersey on it and now it sucks again.

giphy.gif

[Edited 3/29/19 7:33am]

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Reply #1 posted 03/29/19 9:57am

EmmaMcG

A friend of mine has a butler who's missing his left arm. Serves him right.
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Reply #2 posted 03/29/19 10:32am

purplethunder3
121

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razz lol lol lol
Q: What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight?
A: Become a referee.
........................................................................
Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They're always dribbling.
.........................................................................
Q: What did the march say to all the madness?
A: What's all that bracket

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato

https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0
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Reply #3 posted 03/29/19 4:04pm

XxAxX

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Reply #4 posted 03/29/19 4:06pm

S2DG

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''

The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Reply #5 posted 03/29/19 4:06pm

XxAxX

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S2DG said:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''

The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

spit

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Reply #6 posted 03/29/19 4:20pm

Hudson

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Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.

When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.

When he got back to class his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

So again little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"

And little Patrick opened his hands and said, "Look Dad you scared the shit out of him!"
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Reply #7 posted 03/29/19 5:13pm

CherryMoon57

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A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”

The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”

“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.

The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said.

“I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach."

Life Matters
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Reply #8 posted 03/29/19 7:30pm

KingBAD

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i ain't into sports with owners

but i thought this was pretty funny..

Image may contain: 11 people, people smiling, text

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #9 posted 04/05/19 1:15pm

S2DG

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt buckle.

The bartender asks “Hey Pirate, what’s with the steering wheel?”

The pirate replies “ Arrrrrrg! It’s been drivin’ me nuts!”

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Reply #10 posted 04/05/19 1:17pm

S2DG

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I used to be addicted to the hokie pokie...

but then I turned myself around.








boxed

I know this is so stupid but it makes me smile...just like Fridays!

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