ThatWhiteDude said:

KoolEaze said:

You have my deepest sympathy. It´s not easy to grow up like that and it can surely fuck with your mental stability and outlook on life. I know because I was often very bitter, angry, aggressive and had violent tendencies in my teenage years and beat up many assholes who thought they could say something stupid or racist to me . I have realized that, as a Turkish person, I needed to be smarter and better than them, and now that I´m a grown and successful man some of those assholes from the past are even envious and wonder how I got so far in life, coming from the background that I come from. I also have accepted that sometimes being the bad guy and living up to their negative expectations makes life much easier for me. On the other hand I also try to be as nice as possible to most people and love helping people and being there for people. Just be yourself and spend time with good people, work out, maybe pick up martial arts or boxing so people think twice about messing with you. You are obviously a smart person so stay above them, and intimidate them with your brains and physically if necessary. I also think it is a terrible thing that you are not allowed to find out more about your father, regardless of what a person he is or isn´t.

Wait, they thought you wouldn't come far in life because you're a turkish man? Or did I get this wrong?

Yeah, I don't get with my father I don't wanna hang out with him, I mean, he left my mother when she told she's pregnant with us. I only want a picture, and his sister got them but always makes excuses why she can't show me a picture......and then they wonder when I think they try to hide something from me......

You said you know his name. Have you tried googling him? Unless it's a frequent name, chances are you'd find out something about him. Does his name also indicate he might be of non-German origin?

FullLipsDotNose said:

ThatWhiteDude said:

Wait, they thought you wouldn't come far in life because you're a turkish man? Or did I get this wrong?

Yeah, I don't get with my father I don't wanna hang out with him, I mean, he left my mother when she told she's pregnant with us. I only want a picture, and his sister got them but always makes excuses why she can't show me a picture......and then they wonder when I think they try to hide something from me......

You said you know his name. Have you tried googling him? Unless it's a frequent name, chances are you'd find out something about him. Does his name also indicate he might be of non-German origin?

No, his name is german. I tried to google him, tried to find him on FB, nothing came up, or at leat when I asked in my family they said that he's not one of the people from FB wich is funny because they said they don't remember what he looks like.

I think about asking his sister again, but I didn't have contact to her for two years now :/ I don't know.

Hamad said:

I'm pretty sure I'd be surprised by the results. I was born to Saudi bloodline - which really doesn't mean anything to anybody because Arabs from the peninsula are mixed race due to the history behind their region - but I know for a fact that my grandmom (dad's mom) was east African from Zanzibar (Now called Tanzania) and like many coastal places specifically in Africa, that region was heavily mixed race due to slavery (Portuguese) and Arab/South Asian business trade. I wanna do the test, but I'm apprehensive about it for some reason.

Well, only do it if you think you can stand the results. I have always in my life wanted to know the truth about things. I hate lies and secrets in families, because someone always ends up getting hurt over them. I was surprised about my DNA, but I really did want to know.

BTW, my son is adopted, and I started letting him know from about the age of 5 that he was adopted and introducing more about the concept as he grew older. If you keep it secret, the lie just tends to build on itself, and you may get painted into a corner. We didn't want him to be going through the cedar chest of photos & papers one day and say "What's This!!!!!". Good luck on your journey....

What I find funny, a year later I'm still getting updates. The last one connecting my NA heritage to Argentina and Brazil. Talk about scratching my head on that one. I always connected my NA to Florida, that's a pretty long trek between those places.