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Reply #180 posted 01/09/18 4:29pm

214

Brendan said:

A Ghost Story (2017) A bass line connects a breathy vocal with a lyric that falls on the inside of your thoughts like a piano mover dropping theirs. Instantly vertical from the flat of the floor to the end of an intimacy. Goosebumps. Tangibility pounding at your tips. Is it still there? Are you still there? I knew it. It’s just me again. I can be so dramatic. A Haunting. Poof. Can I relocate? Have I ever really? Stuck. Unstuck. Endless. Timeless. A billion galaxies opening up inside a billion galaxies pulsating a link to a speck inside a speck. Preposterous. A Haunting. Did you hear that? Crazy thoughts. The shared echoes of enduring, of mattering? Maybe I’ve never been alone. Maybe no one ever really has. God I’m such an idiot. A Haunting. The cynics were right. There is nothing behind the curtain. There it goes again. A crackle of light. A flicker upon the banal. The unexplainable is fractionally not again. A Haunting. Quickly as it came. Poof. Slamming back to the lowest point. Scratching at this reality. Partly hating myself. Partly levitational atop this unprovable transcendence. A Haunting. 5/5

neutral eek What was that? only thing I get, is that you loved it.

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Reply #181 posted 01/09/18 5:37pm

Brendan

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214 said:



Brendan said:


A Ghost Story (2017) A bass line connects a breathy vocal with a lyric that falls on the inside of your thoughts like a piano mover dropping theirs. Instantly vertical from the flat of the floor to the end of an intimacy. Goosebumps. Tangibility pounding at your tips. Is it still there? Are you still there? I knew it. It’s just me again. I can be so dramatic. A Haunting. Poof. Can I relocate? Have I ever really? Stuck. Unstuck. Endless. Timeless. A billion galaxies opening up inside a billion galaxies pulsating a link to a speck inside a speck. Preposterous. A Haunting. Did you hear that? Crazy thoughts. The shared echoes of enduring, of mattering? Maybe I’ve never been alone. Maybe no one ever really has. God I’m such an idiot. A Haunting. The cynics were right. There is nothing behind the curtain. There it goes again. A crackle of light. A flicker upon the banal. The unexplainable is fractionally not again. A Haunting. Quickly as it came. Poof. Slamming back to the lowest point. Scratching at this reality. Partly hating myself. Partly levitational atop this unprovable transcendence. A Haunting. 5/5

neutral eek What was that? only thing I get, is that you loved it.





Ha!

It’s my humble attempt at a description of this movie.
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Reply #182 posted 01/09/18 7:11pm

damosuzuki

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buster's mal heart (2017) - 2/5 struggling husband/father with paranoid tendencies goes a bit over the edge & becomes a unabomber-ish mountain man. i was enjoying it a fair bit for a good amount of its running time, but it has one of those big plot twists in the last third (i thought those were pretty badly out of fashion now), & it was one that really landed with a thud for me.

krisha (2015) 4/5 an attempt by an alcoholic woman to reconcile with her family goes wildly off the rails. there are a few moments that maybe fell a bit student-filmish, & some of the actors might be a bit wobbly at times, but this micro-budget indie really does a lot with an amateur cast & limited locations. this is the first film by 'it comes at night's' trey edward shults, & it's absolutely worth a look.

mr. roosevelt (2017) - 3.5/5 struggling 20-something woman, returning home to tend to her sick cat, has to stay with her ex & his annoyingly perfect girlfriend. it's cute, a bit like a slighter version of 'the obvious child.' inconsequential i suppose, but it's good-natured, goofy fun with its heart solidly in the right place, and it had one unexpected moment that i thought was as funny as any of the best moments from the disaster artist or toni erdmann.

q the winged serpent (1982) - 3/5 flying lizard eats sun-bathing new yorkers. fun stop-motion animation, & while we don't really get to see enough of the monster, there's a lot of fun to be had watching michael moriarty chew scenery in between dragon attacks.

fullwidth.1ff3ed50.jpg

[Edited 1/9/18 19:12pm]

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."

http://www.thelifeyoucansave.com/
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Reply #183 posted 01/10/18 10:44am

sexton

avatar

RodeoSchro said:

damosuzuki said:

that's a big reason why it was on my must-see list. as soon as i saw your post, i knew that movie was probably made just for me! and i personally think rodeo should watch lady macbeth & live-stream his reactions.




OK, I'll do it! But you guys are going to owe me BIGLY for this! biggrin


I'd suffer through Animal House in exchange. I've never seen that movie.

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Reply #184 posted 01/10/18 10:45am

sexton

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

After reading the spoiler thread, I'm thankful I'm at best only a casual Star Wars fan and not bothered by all the diehards' complaints. 3.5/5

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Reply #185 posted 01/10/18 12:17pm

RodeoSchro

avatar

Brendan said:

214 said:

neutral eek What was that? only thing I get, is that you loved it.

Ha! It’s my humble attempt at a description of this movie.



I got it. You did well!

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
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Reply #186 posted 01/10/18 12:17pm

RodeoSchro

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sexton said:

RodeoSchro said:




OK, I'll do it! But you guys are going to owe me BIGLY for this! biggrin


I'd suffer through Animal House in exchange. I've never seen that movie.



LOL, you don't have to do that. But your life will be better if you do!

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
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Reply #187 posted 01/10/18 3:27pm

Mach

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The new " It " ... it was okay !
~ Same as it ever was ...
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Reply #188 posted 01/10/18 3:39pm

214

Mach said:

The new " It " ... it was okay !

It's entertaining, but the original version is much better.

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Reply #189 posted 01/10/18 3:53pm

Mach

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214 said:

Mach said:

The new " It " ... it was okay !

It's entertaining, but the original version is much better.

The original It was okay too ... I dont see one as better than the other,

that's not generally how my mind works !

lol

~ Same as it ever was ...
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Reply #190 posted 01/10/18 5:06pm

214

Mach said:

214 said:

It's entertaining, but the original version is much better.

The original It was okay too ... I dont see one as better than the other,

that's not generally how my mind works !

lol

So how it works, just out of curiosity.

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Reply #191 posted 01/10/18 5:36pm

Ugot2shakesumt
hin

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It. 5/10
Entertaining but honestly, it’s bad. Kids are cute. But it’s bad bad.
Crooked Donnie. Lock him up!
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Reply #192 posted 01/10/18 6:32pm

damosuzuki

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sexton said:

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

After reading the spoiler thread, I'm thankful I'm at best only a casual Star Wars fan and not bothered by all the diehards' complaints. 3.5/5

i finally caught it myself yesterday, and i very much agree. 3.5/5

it's really just fine, funny at times, mostly exciting, maybe a touch draggy in the middle, introduced some new things, some that were great, some that i could have done without. not perfect, but it's good stuff.

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."

http://www.thelifeyoucansave.com/
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Reply #193 posted 01/11/18 5:58am

peedub

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namepeace said:

peedub said:


i didn't know he was in that. he's one of my all time favorite actors. now i might have to splurge and see that on the big screen.


It may be the best work he's done.


richard jenkins is marc maron's guest on wtf? today! man, i can't wait to listen. i've been a huge fan of his since i saw him in 'flirting with disaster'.

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Reply #194 posted 01/11/18 11:19am

sexton

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Darkest Hour (2017) - During the early days of World War II, the fate of Western Europe hangs on the newly-appointed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who must decide whether to negotiate with Hitler, or fight on against incredible odds.

Gary Oldman is pretty awesome in this otherwise standard biopic. It's also a very good companion piece to Dunkirk. I was a little surprised to see Kristen Scott Thomas playing an older character like Clemmie. Has it really been 30+ years since Under The Cherry Moon? 4/5

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Reply #195 posted 01/11/18 2:34pm

214

sexton said:



Darkest Hour (2017) - During the early days of World War II, the fate of Western Europe hangs on the newly-appointed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who must decide whether to negotiate with Hitler, or fight on against incredible odds.

Gary Oldman is pretty awesome in this otherwise standard biopic. It's also a very good companion piece to Dunkirk. I was a little surprised to see Kristen Scott Thomas playing an older character like Clemmie. Has it really been 30+ years since Under The Cherry Moon? 4/5

I look forward to watch this fiml, actually I think it's on Netflix, although I'm not so sure.

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Reply #196 posted 01/11/18 5:54pm

Brendan

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RodeoSchro said:



Brendan said:


214 said:


neutral eek What was that? only thing I get, is that you loved it.



Ha! It’s my humble attempt at a description of this movie.



I got it. You did well!



Much appreciated!

In theory it’s to be read more like a poem written from the standpoint of the narrator’s (me?) reaction to and inspiration from this highly unconventional movie pondering the biggest questions humankind has been haunted with since the beginning of existence.

The music from the film, especially the astonishing “I Get Overwhelmed”, is what was in my corded headphones (“end of an intimacy”) that finally brought it altogether for me.

I watched this movie upon seeing it appear as the number 2 pick on damosuzuki’s 2017 list.

It’s number one (humbly; I fully realize this is a “speck on a speck”) so far on my totally unmade list.
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Reply #197 posted 01/11/18 6:14pm

damosuzuki

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sweet kill (1972) - 0.5/5 grey, dreary, dull b-movie, deeply trashy & loaded with attractive & often naked women, but lacking a glimmer of drive or fun or energy. only noteworthy for its lead (tab hunter, post-stardom, pre-john waters) and the fact it's directed by curtis hanson, who'd go on to be a fairly big deal. hanson was a talented guy undoubtedly, & had a major career, but i can't imagine anyone saw that coming based on this thing.

donald cried (2017) 3.5/5 occasionally hilarious cringe-comedy with a character who starts out as a grating but undeniably funny caricature, & then develops into someone a little more well-rounded & believable & sympathetic, but still remains incredibly grating & annoying & funny. hugely enjoyable, at least to me.


"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."

http://www.thelifeyoucansave.com/
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Reply #198 posted 01/11/18 6:26pm

damosuzuki

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Brendan said:

RodeoSchro said:



I got it. You did well!

Much appreciated! In theory it’s to be read more like a poem written from the standpoint of the narrator’s (me?) reaction to and inspiration from this highly unconventional movie pondering the biggest questions humankind has been haunted with since the beginning of existence. The music from the film, especially the astonishing “I Get Overwhelmed”, is what was in my corded headphones (“end of an intimacy”) that finally brought it altogether for me. I watched this movie upon seeing it appear as the number 2 pick on damosuzuki’s 2017 list. It’s number one (humbly; I fully realize this is a “speck on a speck”) so far on my totally unmade list.

i always appreciate how much thought you put into your posts. great stuff.

perhaps i've already gone on enough about how much i liked that movie, but i will say that it was a film that stayed with me like no other did this year.

when i saw 'florida project' i immediately knew after it was over that i'd seen something truly great, and that it was likely going to be my favourite movie of the year. i definitely didn't have the same reaction to ghost story, & don't think i would have immediately called it great or even said if i was sure it was good. but it wormed its way into my head and refused to vacate, so much so that i went onto hoopla and streamed it the next day after seeing it in the theatre just because i wanted to spend more time in its world. i'm a sample size of one, i don't speak for anyone else, but that's a rare thing for me, & i love it when movies or anything have that effect on me.

[Edited 1/11/18 19:30pm]

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."

http://www.thelifeyoucansave.com/
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Reply #199 posted 01/12/18 10:33am

RodeoSchro

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Yesterday I took in one of my favorite westerns, "The Sons of Katie Elder". Infinity stars!!!!

You could have put John Wayne, Dean Martin, Dennis Hopper and George Kennedy in a movie about watching paint dry and it would have been an all-time great movie.

POINT OF PARLIMENTARY PROCEDURE - Since this movie is so great, I completely rabbit-holed it. (BTW, I have copyrighted the phrase "rabbit-holed". I hope it makes me more money than my copyrighting of the phrases "&e" and "&E", neither of which Andy Allo ever attempted to use.) While the movie is rightly hailed as one of the greatest cinematic achievements of all time, some people also say it contains one of the greatest blunders of continuity in filmdom. NOT. TRUE.

The "continuity error" allegedly occurs at the final shoot-out between John Wayne and James Gregory. Various pundits say Wayne had run out of bullets and yet kept firing. Something about 13 shots but he only had 6 bullets.

Wrong!

As The Duke was leaving his hidey-hole and going out to shoot Gregory, he grabbed a six-shooter and a handful of bullets. We never saw Wayne re-load during the shoot-out but he absolutely had the bullets he needed. What kind of award do I win for this brilliant observation?

Back to the review!

"The Sons of Katie Elder" contains two of the coolest dudes who ever lived. For reference, here is my list of Coolest Dudes Who Ever Lived:

1. John Wayne
2. My dad
3. Prince
4. Dean Martin
5. Bruce Springsteen

While my dad has been in a movie, it was with Kenny Rogers and therefore it is not in the same stratosphere as a movie with John Wayne and Dean Martin.

Speaking of Dean Martin, one of my regrets is never getting to meet him. I have met John Wayne, Prince and my dad. I have not met Bruce Springsteen - yet - and I missed my chance to meet Dean Martin. You see, I found out many years ago that there was a specific restaurant in Beverly Hills that Dean Martin had dinner at every Monday night. I made a note to take a trip to Cali and meet Dean Martin on some Monday night, but I never did it. You know what they say - you always regret the things you DIDN'T do far more than the things you DID do. Truer words were never spoken! Except I wouldn't say them this way:



Did you know that Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis bombed when they first teamed up? It's true! It wasn't until they hired...get ready for it....Norman Lear to write some comedy for them that they took off. How cool is THAT? And how cool is THIS:

In the days of the Rat Pack (a name that the guys IN the Rat Pack NEVER used), you never knew who was going to show up in Vegas. For instance, the marquee would say "TONIGHT: DEAN MARTIN. MAYBE FRANK. MAYBE SAMMY". ZOMG that is beyond cool!

I once saw a Dean Martin movie where he did the coolest thing ever. He wanted to ask out this particular young woman, so he sent her some roses and his card. Not a business card, no! A card that said, "Dean Martin would like the pleasure of your company this Friday night at 7". Holy cow, you can't get cooler than that! I don't remember what movie that was but I just might start watching every Dean Martin movie until I find it again. Or, if YOU know what movie that was, let me know.

We could seriously have an entire thread...nay, an entire forum discussing how cool Dean Martin was.

Can we talk about George Kennedy? Heck yes we can! What a cool dude. He probably makes the Top 20 in my Coolest Dudes Who Ever Lived list. For sure the Top 50. He would have been a career Army officer but he hurt his back and went into acting when he was almost 40. Forty! He was the perfect bad guy. In this movie, he was named "Curley" which is the perfect name for a bad guy, because usually guys named Curley are either the good guy or the best Stooge. Kennedy was so inspiring that I am going to watch "Cool Hand Luke" as much to see him as to see Paul Newman, who is probably #6 on my Coolest Dudes Who Ever Lived list.

We haven't even addressed the fact that Dennis Hopper, a guy who is either in the Top 50 of my Coolest Dudes Who Ever Lived list or is close to the Top 50, is the fourth-coolest actor in this movie but only the seventh-coolest character in it. The coolness in this movie could easily counteract the effects of global warming.

"The Sons of Katie Elder" is iconic, a true classic. It should be at or near the top of any Best Movies Ever list. As I stated in the first paragraph, infinity stars!

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
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Reply #200 posted 01/12/18 10:34am

RodeoSchro

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214 said:

sexton said:



Darkest Hour (2017) - During the early days of World War II, the fate of Western Europe hangs on the newly-appointed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who must decide whether to negotiate with Hitler, or fight on against incredible odds.

Gary Oldman is pretty awesome in this otherwise standard biopic. It's also a very good companion piece to Dunkirk. I was a little surprised to see Kristen Scott Thomas playing an older character like Clemmie. Has it really been 30+ years since Under The Cherry Moon? 4/5

I look forward to watch this fiml, actually I think it's on Netflix, although I'm not so sure.


There aren't any good movies on Netflix.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
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Reply #201 posted 01/12/18 3:26pm

214

RodeoSchro said:

214 said:

I look forward to watch this fiml, actually I think it's on Netflix, although I'm not so sure.


There aren't any good movies on Netflix.

Yes there are, many of them.

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Reply #202 posted 01/12/18 5:01pm

Brendan

avatar

damosuzuki said:



Brendan said:


RodeoSchro said:




I got it. You did well!



Much appreciated! In theory it’s to be read more like a poem written from the standpoint of the narrator’s (me?) reaction to and inspiration from this highly unconventional movie pondering the biggest questions humankind has been haunted with since the beginning of existence. The music from the film, especially the astonishing “I Get Overwhelmed”, is what was in my corded headphones (“end of an intimacy”) that finally brought it altogether for me. I watched this movie upon seeing it appear as the number 2 pick on damosuzuki’s 2017 list. It’s number one (humbly; I fully realize this is a “speck on a speck”) so far on my totally unmade list.

i always appreciate how much thought you put into your posts. great stuff.

perhaps i've already gone on enough about how much i liked that movie, but i will say that it was a film that stayed with me like no other did this year.

when i saw 'florida project' i immediately knew after it was over that i'd seen something truly great, and that it was likely going to be my favourite movie of the year. i definitely didn't have the same reaction to ghost story, & don't think i would have immediately called it great or even said if i was sure it was good. but it wormed its way into my head and refused to vacate, so much so that i went onto hoopla and streamed it the next day after seeing it in the theatre just because i wanted to spend more time in its world. i'm a sample size of one, i don't speak for anyone else, but that's a rare thing for me, & i love it when movies or anything have that effect on me.

[Edited 1/11/18 19:30pm]



I thank you very much for your kindness!

This might be the greatest movie yet for me to link up with on the serious issues of time, connection, purpose, mattering, immensity, and creation. I’ve seen it twice so far.

While watching “A Ghost Story” two recent movies came to my mind that deal with such profound existentialism: Christopher Nolan’s “Interstellar” and Darren Aronofsky’s “The Fountain”. Neither really connected that well with me.

Perhaps someday on this very thread, or in a thousand other haunts, someone will help connect me here, or in countless other areas I’m not even barely aware of yet, or those that remain as frustratingly allusive as that puzzle piece you’d swear must have gone missing from the box.

Pauline Kael, one of the greatest movie critics of all time, was someone who believed that you pretty much knew what you thought upon the credit roll, and that absolutely no movie needed to be sweated over, or even seen more than once. This of course is one terrifically enviable viewpoint from a highly intelligent human being that would work perfectly for any of us, and we’d all still have way more great than any of us could ever possibly consume in a lifetime. But as much as I love spontaneity, not giving over to deeper thought would for me only complete half of this masterpiece. Perhaps the other half of the best stuff in life comes through vigorously challenging our own endless failings?


///
[Edited 1/12/18 17:10pm]
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Reply #203 posted 01/12/18 5:30pm

214

Brendan said:

damosuzuki said:

i always appreciate how much thought you put into your posts. great stuff.

perhaps i've already gone on enough about how much i liked that movie, but i will say that it was a film that stayed with me like no other did this year.

when i saw 'florida project' i immediately knew after it was over that i'd seen something truly great, and that it was likely going to be my favourite movie of the year. i definitely didn't have the same reaction to ghost story, & don't think i would have immediately called it great or even said if i was sure it was good. but it wormed its way into my head and refused to vacate, so much so that i went onto hoopla and streamed it the next day after seeing it in the theatre just because i wanted to spend more time in its world. i'm a sample size of one, i don't speak for anyone else, but that's a rare thing for me, & i love it when movies or anything have that effect on me.

[Edited 1/11/18 19:30pm]

I thank you very much for your kindness! This might be the greatest movie yet for me to link up with on the serious issues of time, connection, purpose, mattering, immensity, and creation. I’ve seen it twice so far. While watching “A Ghost Story” two recent movies came to my mind that deal with such profound existentialism: Christopher Nolan’s “Interstellar” and Darren Aronofsky’s “The Fountain”. Neither really connected that well with me. Perhaps someday on this very thread, or in a thousand other haunts, someone will help connect me here, or in countless other areas I’m not even barely aware of yet, or those that remain as frustratingly allusive as that puzzle piece you’d swear must have gone missing from the box. Pauline Kael, one of the greatest movie critics of all time, was someone who believed that you pretty much knew what you thought upon the credit roll, and that absolutely no movie needed to be sweated over, or even seen more than once. This of course is one terrifically enviable viewpoint from a highly intelligent human being that would work perfectly for any of us, and we’d all still have way more great than any of us could ever possibly consume in a lifetime. But as much as I love spontaneity, not giving over to deeper thought would for me only complete half of this masterpiece. Perhaps the other half of the best stuff in life comes through vigorously challenging our own endless failings? /// [Edited 1/12/18 17:10pm]

I don't get everything you say here, but I like how it's written anyway.

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Reply #204 posted 01/12/18 5:54pm

RodeoSchro

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214 said:

RodeoSchro said:


There aren't any good movies on Netflix.

Yes there are, many of them.



I guess, if you call cheesy 80's comedies and Hitler documentaries "good movies".

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
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Reply #205 posted 01/12/18 6:08pm

214

RodeoSchro said:

214 said:

Yes there are, many of them.



I guess, if you call cheesy 80's comedies and Hitler documentaries "good movies".

No, I call movies movies, and as I said there are quite a few great ones there.

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Reply #206 posted 01/12/18 10:02pm

Ugot2shakesumt
hin

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The Post 8/10

God bless Steven Spielberg. While initially feeling that the movie was kinda “Kings Speech” mechanical and cornball, i quickly realized what was unfolding. Spielberg was making an important history lesson accessible to the masses. Meryl Streep is amazing as always as is Bob Odenkirk. Tom Hanks is likeable as always but his performance feels too much like “acting”
The film feels quickly put together because it was shot in May and released just a few months later. A fact that is is mind blowing learn.
I would have given this a lower grade had it not been so important for everyone to see.
Though it feels a little rough around the edges, it’s still the quality production you would expect from Steven Spielberg.
Go see it and see a timely movie about the responsibility of the press, nepotism, and the need for an outlier where it comes to truth.
[Edited 1/13/18 15:11pm]
Crooked Donnie. Lock him up!
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Reply #207 posted 01/12/18 11:34pm

Hudson

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sexton said:



Call Me By Your Name (2017) - In Northern Italy in 1983, seventeen year-old Elio begins a relationship with visiting Oliver, his father's research assistant, with whom he bonds over his emerging sexuality, their Jewish heritage, and the beguiling Italian landscape.

Luca Guadagnino has become one of my favorite directors of the last ten years. He has another winner here with this very touching romance. And Italy as usual looks incredibly beautiful--as does Armie Hammer, my goodness. 4.5/5






That final shot is just 10/10. I won't soon forget it or the song Visions of Gideon. I'll give the whole movie a 9/10. Not sure if I want the sequel that is actually being planned!

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Reply #208 posted 01/13/18 2:39pm

RodeoSchro

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I went skiing this morning. Before I hit the slopes, I had some breakfast at restaurant at the bottom of the mountain. Bad move.

About 45 minutes into my run, I knew I was in trouble. Well, I was also tired. But I felt bad-breakfast-bad. Must have been the sausage. So I went home, crawled into bed, and watched...

...the original "Walking Tall". Just the film to make me forget about what had happened to my bowels!

The movie started probably about the time I was cutting it up on the last face of the mountain, so I missed all the parts when Buford T. Pusser beats everyone up with a board. I came in right after Buford T. Pusser had been elected sheriff. But did that mean I'd missed all the a** kicking?

Of course not!

Buford T. Pusser beat up, shot and ran over ALL the bad guys and one of the bad girls. It was awesome! And mostly true!

The ultimate scene in the movie is set up by Buford T. Pusser getting a call about a disturbance and leaving home to check it out. His wife says she's coming along, because she wants "to see what you do for a living". Getting her killed is what he does for a living. And that's true!

Pusser really did get such a call, and his wife really did come along, and they really were ambushed on the road, resulting in Pusser's wife's death. In real life, Pusser may or may not have had his assailants killed. But in the movie, Buford T. Pusser goes into the hospital, where his son brings him his shotgun. Now, you would think that means that Buford T. Pusser is going to deliver a lead sandwich to his assailants but what he actually does is run them over while he was driving through their nightclub. Works for me!

This is an excellent movie that really stands the test of time. How good is this movie? I watched it on the El Rey channel, home of the Bad Ass series of movies. It fits right in!

9 Big Sticks out of 10 Big Sticks.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
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Reply #209 posted 01/13/18 3:20pm

RodeoSchro

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After "Walking Tall" ended, I felt better so I went upstairs and watched another movie. This one was "Takers" a heist movie made in 2010. But I have a MAJOR GRIPE to air first.

"Takers" has a running time of 107 minutes. I watched it on BET, so I knew there would be commercials. BUT 70 minutes of them?!? "Takers" took THREE HOURS to view. The movie-to-commercials ratio was almost 1:1. Unacceptable! I will never watch another movie on BET; at least, I'll check the airing time.

You know what's the worst thing about watching a 107-minute movie on BET that has 73 minutes of commercials added to it? BET only has, like, three sponsors. Credit Karma, Clorox, and Pizza Hut. That's it. So you get to watch the same three commercials about 10 times each. Although now I have a strange desire to borrow some money to set up a cleaning service that specializes in Pizza Hut restaurants.

"Takers" is OK. It's pretty slickly-made, which usually means cameras that are way too jumpy. Which happens in this movie. But when your eyeballs arent bouncing up and down from the stupid filming technique, it's got its moments.

And it has Matt Dillon.

While Matt Dillon might not make the Top 50 Coolest Dudes of All Time list, he is definitely on the Most Overlooked Cool Dudes of All Time list. It seems to me that this guy could have owned the 2000 - 2015 movie market if he wanted to. I guess he liked directing better.

Back to the movie. But first, I want some Pizza Hut pizza. Must...resist...commericialism. So anyway, it seems Idris Alba, Paul Walker, some guy that apparently played in "Star Wars" and a Jay-Z lookalike are sophisticated robbers who drink Hennessy, hang out at Tha Club, and earn a extra 7% on their money in the Lesser Antilles. They only pull spectacular jobs and must wait at least a year between jobs, in order for the police to forget about them. Ha! The police never forget!

Neither does T.I., who gets out of prison and immediately breaks into Paul Walker's trillion-dollar bachelor pad. He wants his cut from the job in which he got shot and captured, but the rest of the gang got away with the money. Paul Walker says, "Absolutely! You didn't rat us out in prison, and we take care of our own! Great to see you again, pal!" In return for this gangsta hospitality, T.I. is going to sell Paul Walker and the rest of his gang out to some sleazy Russians, but that comes later.

T.I. shows up at Tha Club to see the old gang again, but there's tension because while in prison, the Jay-Z lookalike had stolen T.I.'s girl and proposed to her. But T.I. says bygones are bygones - especially since he has plans for a new heist. But there's a catch - it has to be pulled off in five days, which violates two of Tha Gang's rules: (1) don't pull off a heist until at least a year after the last one; and (2) don't pull off rush jobs. I assume they had other rules but didn't take notes. Sorry.

Tha Gang decides to do the job because it's an armored car heist that will net them $25 million - $30 million and that's a LOT of Hennessy. Seriously - these guys drink Hennessy like we drink water. So I can see how they may have been running a little low on funds. In order to help pull off this heist, the Jay-Z lookalike brings in his little brother, Chris Brown. NOTE: This movie was made in 2010, so Chris Brown has about 10,000 less tattoes that he does now.

All the while, Matt Dillon and his partner/brother-in-law are trying to solve Tha Gang's last heist, and are picking up clues. Idris Elba, on the other hand, is picking up his crackhead sister from rehab. It tuns out these two acts are related.

It also turns out that T.I. does, in fact, hold a grudge. He did not take advantage of the sensitivity training offered to him in prison, and has expanded his hatred beyond just the Jay-Z lookalike who stole his girlfriend. No, he's mad at everyone in Tha Gang, and also doesn't think much of the Russians.

Matt Dillon and his brother-in-law are thisclose to figuring out who the members of Tha Gang are when Internal Affairs makes Dillon watch a videotape of his brother-in-law letting a drug dealer go in exchange for all the cash on hand. Even though it was to fund his son's dialysis, it's still against the law AND LAPD policy. Why they showed this video to Matt Dillon I have no idea, but it incentivizes Dillon to grab his brother-in-law and take out after Tha Gang, who have just pulled off T.I.'s heist.

Not that the heist went off smoothly, mind you. It didn't. Tha Gang still got all the money but it wasn't easy. Chris Brown got spotted by Dillon and even though Brown used professional-level parkour manuevers, he couldn't get away. So he did the only thing he could - he shot Dillon's brother-in-law. Which actually was a good thing for Dillon's brother-in-law, because it meant he was killed in the line of duty BEFORE the Internal Affairs guys got to him. So the bad stuff he did was forgotten about, and his family got full benefits. Win-win!

Except Tha Gang doesn't know all that, and they're pretty PO'ed at Chris Brown for killing a cop, even though Brown said it was almost like the cop wanted Brown to shoot him (HINT: he did, see above). They are just about to hash this all out at The Hotel Roosevelt when who should show up but the Russians? T.I. had sold out Tha Gang and his plan was for Tha Gang and Tha Russians to all kill each other. It pretty much worked, except that Tha Gang only lost one member - that guy who apparently is in "Star Wars". He wore a porkpie hat so he deserved what he got.

The Jay-Z lookalike and Chris Brown end up in the Jay-Z lookalike's apartment, where they arm themselves with shotguns and then walk right into a haze of bullets from about 75 cops.

T.I. figured out that where he needed to be was at the airport, because Tha Gang's financial planner had all the money and was about to G-V it to the Lesser Antilles for that extra 7%. T.I. shoots him and takes all the money. He's just about to make a clean getaway but who should show up but Paul Walker and Idris Elba! And also Matt Dillon.

They have a Mexican stand-off and of course, they all get shot. T.I. is dead, Elba is wounded, and so is Dillon. Paul Walker is still OK so he gathers up Elba and they leave but not before Walker tells Dillon that he's letting Dillon live because he knows Dillon has a daughter.

The end.

Yep, that's really how it ends. You never find out if Dillon lived, or if Elba lived, or if Elba's crackhead sister ever got clean.

"Takers" is good entertainment but it gets penalized for being shown on BET. Therefore, I am taking away one porkpie hat from its rating and giving it 6 Porkpie Hats out of 10 Porkpie Hats. (NOTE: Never wear a porkpie hat.)



[Edited 1/13/18 15:23pm]

Second Funkiest White Man in America

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