Roses are red
Nuts are brown.
Skirts go up,
Pants go down.
Body to body
Skin to skin.
When it's stiff
Stick it in.
The longer it's in,
The stronger it gets.
It goes in dry,
And comes out wet.
It comes out dripping,
And starts to sag.
It's not what you think...
It's a teabag!

************************************************

A mother and father took Little Johnny to a nude beach. As Little Johnny walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

Little Johnny, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" than his dad.

His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, Little Johnny returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, Little Johnny returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets!"

*************************************************

An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A nice guy asks if he can help. "What's that matter, old man? Are you out of money?"

"No!" says the old man. "I'm rich, and have more money than I can spend!"

"Well, are you lonely?"

"No!" says the old man. "I'm married to a 27-year-old former Miss Universe!"

"Then," asks the Good Samaritan, "What? Is she not feeding you?"

"Oh no!" says the old man. "She's not only beautiful, but her talent is gourmet cooking. I eat like a king!"

"OK, then I guess you're sad because you have no sex life?" asks the Good Samaritan.

"Quite the opposite!" says the old man. "I'm still sexually active; in fact, usually 2 or 3 times a day!"

"Then why on Earth are you crying?!?" exclaims the nice guy.

"Because," says the old man, "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!"

RodeoSchro said:

"the longer he talks, the dumber he gets!!!"

I'm telling Pastor.....