osha was doin a safety inspection after

a bizzness got a bad report and saul

was an idiot...

saul was upset because the inspector

asked him

"what steps would you take in case of a fire?"

and when saul answered

"the biggest ones i can"

he was absolutely shock that that wasn't

the answer the inspector was lookin for...

happy friday!

BADD!!!

Because I have to go to a court hearing today..............

There was a small, two-lawyer office. The two lawyers shared everything, including their secretary. One day, she showed up and said she was pregnant.

The two lawyers decided not to find out who the father was. Rather, they both offered to share in the child's raising, including all expenses. The secretary thought it over and agreed to that arrangement.

The day of the birth, both lawyers were in the waiting room. But the first lawyer was just too nervous, and went outside to wait. An hour later, his partner went and got him, but he was crying.

"What's the matter?" asked the first lawyer.

The second lawyer said, "She had twins, and mine died!"

RodeoSchro said:

Because I have to go to a court hearing today..............

There was a small, two-lawyer office. The two lawyers shared everything, including their secretary. One day, she showed up and said she was pregnant.

The two lawyers decided not to find out who the father was. Rather, they both offered to share in the child's raising, including all expenses. The secretary thought it over and agreed to that arrangement.

The day of the birth, both lawyers were in the waiting room. But the first lawyer was just too nervous, and went outside to wait. An hour later, his partner went and got him, but he was crying.

"What's the matter?" asked the first lawyer.

The second lawyer said, "She had twins, and mine died!"

KingBAD said:

RodeoSchro said:

Because I have to go to a court hearing today..............

There was a small, two-lawyer office. The two lawyers shared everything, including their secretary. One day, she showed up and said she was pregnant.

The two lawyers decided not to find out who the father was. Rather, they both offered to share in the child's raising, including all expenses. The secretary thought it over and agreed to that arrangement.

The day of the birth, both lawyers were in the waiting room. But the first lawyer was just too nervous, and went outside to wait. An hour later, his partner went and got him, but he was crying.

"What's the matter?" asked the first lawyer.

The second lawyer said, "She had twins, and mine died!"

KingBAD said:

RodeoSchro said:

Because I have to go to a court hearing today..............

There was a small, two-lawyer office. The two lawyers shared everything, including their secretary. One day, she showed up and said she was pregnant.

The two lawyers decided not to find out who the father was. Rather, they both offered to share in the child's raising, including all expenses. The secretary thought it over and agreed to that arrangement.

The day of the birth, both lawyers were in the waiting room. But the first lawyer was just too nervous, and went outside to wait. An hour later, his partner went and got him, but he was crying.

"What's the matter?" asked the first lawyer.

The second lawyer said, "She had twins, and mine died!"

The best news is...........WE WON!

Man, I thought we were complete toast at first. The judge was denying all our motions and our lawyer didn't look he was on his "A" game. But in the end, the good guys won!

Which reminds me....

A guy was charged with making love to a goat. It carried a stiff penalty, so he went looking for a lawyer. One in particular was recommended, because it was said no one could pick a jury like he could. So that was the lawyer the Goat Man hired.

The trial commences and as their first witness, the Goat Man's lawyer calls old Mrs. McGillicuddy to the stand.

"Mrs. McGillicuddy,", says the lawyer, "Did you witness my client with the goat in question?"

"Yes, I did."

"And Mrs. McGillicuddy - did you see my client and this goat engage in sexual activity?"

""Yes, I did," says Mrs. McGillicuddy.

"And Mrs. McGillicuddy," says the lawyer, "Will you describe to the court exactly what my client and this goat did to each other?"

Mrs. McGillicuddy gets very red, and is unable to speak. The judge says, "Mrs. McGillicuddy, no matter how embarrassing or disgusting what you saw may have been, you have to describe it to the court".

Mrs. McGillicuddy stammers, and then says, "Well...that man was petting his goat. And then...and then he unzipped his pants. And then the goat began licking his private parts. Oh God, it was horrible! After it was over, the goat licked up all his...his...well, you know!" Mrs. McGillicuddy then broke down in tears.

The Goat Man was despondent! His own lawyer got an eyewitness describe in complete detail the oral episode that occurred - all the way down to the clean up! He was about to throw his hands up in the air and just admit defeat when all of a sudden he heard one juror say to another juror:

"You know, a good goat will do that!"

.

[Edited 4/3/17 10:08am]