*A teacher was teaching her second grade

class about the government, so for homework that one day,

she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day,

he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered,

''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress,

your maid is the work force,

you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,''

said the dad. ''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying.

He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper.

So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help.

When he got to his parent's bedroom,

he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep.

Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring,

but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room.

When he looked through the maid's room keyhole,

he saw his dad having sex with his maid.

Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud,

''OH!! Now I understand the government!

The President is fukkkin the work force,

Congress is fast asleep,

nobody cares about the people,

and the future is full of shit!''

One day a son asked his dad what was the difference between perception and reality. The dad told the son, "Boy - go ask your mom if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for $1 million. And ask your sister if she would sleep with Ed Sheeran for $1 million."

The boy did so and came back. "Yep - they both said they'd sleep with those guys for $1 million!"

"Now you can see the difference between perception and reality," said the dad. "The perception is that we're sitting on $2 million but the reality is we're living with a couple of sluts."

BADD!!!

RodeoSchro said:

One day a son asked his dad what was the difference between perception and reality. The dad told the son, "Boy - go ask your mom if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for $1 million. And ask your sister if she would sleep with Ed Sheeran for $1 million."

The boy did so and came back. "Yep - they both said they'd sleep with those guys for $1 million!"

"Now you can see the difference between perception and reality," said the dad. "The perception is that we're sitting on $2 million but the reality is we're living with a couple of sluts."

RodeoSchro said:

One day a son asked his dad what was the difference between perception and reality. The dad told the son, "Boy - go ask your mom if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for $1 million. And ask your sister if she would sleep with Ed Sheeran for $1 million."

The boy did so and came back. "Yep - they both said they'd sleep with those guys for $1 million!"

"Now you can see the difference between perception and reality," said the dad. "The perception is that we're sitting on $2 million but the reality is we're living with a couple of sluts."

you hid that shit over here

so you could avoid the wrath of

the women who was on that "women are equal" post

YOU AIN'T SLICK!!!

plus you know the hoity toity don't bother with my joke post...

KingBAD said:

RodeoSchro said:

One day a son asked his dad what was the difference between perception and reality. The dad told the son, "Boy - go ask your mom if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for $1 million. And ask your sister if she would sleep with Ed Sheeran for $1 million."

The boy did so and came back. "Yep - they both said they'd sleep with those guys for $1 million!"

"Now you can see the difference between perception and reality," said the dad. "The perception is that we're sitting on $2 million but the reality is we're living with a couple of sluts."

you hid that shit over here

so you could avoid the wrath of

the women who was on that "women are equal" post

YOU AIN'T SLICK!!!

plus you know the hoity toity don't bother with my joke post...

I hide nothing! I just posted two pictures of me half-naked on another thread.

This one time a person was in one place and by some means of conveyance was then in another place. This person made an observation and was asked a question by a being. The person was silent and then replied and was then met with a retort that was unexpected.

The person then moved by a different means of conveyance to the original place and asked the same question to someone the person knew well and the 2nd person replied with a physical act of violence.

Some time later the person awoke in a facility designed to facilitate healing and saw the 2nd person and the being. Tthe person made a wisecrack and consumed a nutritive substance.

[Edited 3/10/17 10:49am]

an original only joke a work in progress.

A man and a woman were talking about their sex life. The woman asked, "Sometimes you are finished really fast, sometimes you take a while, and sometimes you take forever....why is that?"


the man said, "Well when I want to make it last a medium time I imagine I am with your mom.. she is kind of ugly..."


She was grossed out but was okay with it... and asked "What about when you are really quick"


the man said with hesitation "well if I want to finish fast, I imagine I am with your sister...she is hot so you know..."


she got a little mad but had to ask, "well who do to last for a really long time?"


the man not thinking it though blurted out the answer "I keep my eyes open...."


his funeral is Tuesday and 3....

OnlyNDaUsa said:

an original only joke a work in progress.

A man and a woman were talking about their sex life. The woman asked, "Sometimes you are finished really fast, sometimes you take a while, and sometimes you take forever....why is that?"


the man said, "Well when I want to make it last a medium time I imagine I am with your mom.. she is kind of ugly..."


She was grossed out but was okay with it... and asked "What about when you are really quick"


the man said with hesitation "well if I want to finish fast, I imagine I am with your sister...she is hot so you know..."


she got a little mad but had to ask, "well who do to last for a really long time?"


the man not thinking it though blurted out the answer "I keep my eyes open...."


his funeral is Tuesday and 3....

my woman told me "My gynecologist said 'no intercourse for 6 weeks'"

I asked her "What did your dentist say?"

She said "What did your orthopedist say?"

What an offensive thread...


I LOVE IT!!!

OnlyNDaUsa said:

my woman told me "My gynecologist said 'no intercourse for 6 weeks'"

I asked her "What did your dentist say?"

She said "What did your orthopedist say?"

djThunderfunk said:

What an offensive thread...


I LOVE IT!!!

we strive to please the important people....

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!