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Reply #60 posted 01/23/17 6:00pm

damosuzuki

214 said:

damosuzuki said:

it's looking something like this right now.

1 sing street

2 tower

3 moonlight

4 the handmaiden

5 the witch

6 o.j.: made in america

7 tickled

8 the lobster

9 hell or high water

10 love and friendship

.
there's a mass of contradictions in here, i realize. near the beginning of this thread, i gave tower a 4 & hell or high water a 4.5, yet tower is #2, while hohw sits at 9.

.
all i can say is that, as our old org friend moonbeam said to me recently, there's a difference between favourite & best, & tower really stuck with me like almost no other movie has recently. i think it's incredible.

.
i've also moved la la land off of my list. i've developed a bit of an iffy relationship with that movie, i guess. it seemed to have no staying power with me. tower, handmaiden, sing street have all been rattling around in my head since i saw them, but la la land was like a cinematic sand castle, gone from my memory almost as soon as it was over. maybe a 2nd viewing when it hits streaming will change that, but for the moment, it's bubbling under my top 10.

.

has your list changed at all?

Sing Street at number one? wow, it's a nice movie but nothing more than that. Very enoyable,i give you that.

obviously, i think it's much more than a nice movie. i think it's a perfect jewel of a film and i truly, unreservedly loved every second of it - but we're all allowed to be different. no harm in that.

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Reply #61 posted 01/24/17 1:53pm

thekidsgirl

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damosuzuki said:

moonlight - 4.5/5. probably not much sense in me trying to add to the avalanche that's been written. the first two thirds were great, the last third was something like the most perfect terence malick short film ever.


but i do have to say, and hope that this won't sound obnoxious, that i do keep thinking in the day since i saw this of peter singer & steven pinker & their books the expanding circle & better angels of our nature. both of them have written about how the invention of the printing press & the subsequent growth of literacy & other kinds of media expanded the capacity for people to take the perspective of people who live very different lives, & i can't help but think that moonlight is the exact kind of thing they were talking about.

[Edited 1/22/17 19:24pm]




I'd give it the same rating and totally agree with your point on media like this expanding people's ability to understand the lives of others. I always only hope it makes viewers more empathetic or understanding rather than judgemental.
If you will, so will I
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Reply #62 posted 01/24/17 3:38pm

sexton

avatar

damosuzuki said:

sexton said:


What is your updated top movies of 2016 list?

it's looking something like this right now.

1 sing street

2 tower

3 moonlight

4 the handmaiden

5 the witch

6 o.j.: made in america

7 tickled

8 the lobster

9 hell or high water

10 manchester by the sea

11 love and friendship

.
there's a mass of contradictions in here, i realize. near the beginning of this thread, i gave tower a 4 & hell or high water a 4.5, yet tower is #2, while hohw sits at 9.

.
all i can say is that, as our old org friend moonbeam said to me recently, there's a difference between favourite & best, & tower really stuck with me like almost no other movie has recently. i think it's incredible.

.
i've also moved la la land off of my list. i've developed a bit of an iffy relationship with that movie, i guess. it seemed to have no staying power with me. tower, handmaiden, sing street have all been rattling around in my head since i saw them, but la la land was like a cinematic sand castle, gone from my memory almost as soon as it was over. maybe a 2nd viewing when it hits streaming will change that, but for the moment, it's bubbling under my top 10.

.

and i edited this to put manchester... at 10 (forgot it initial posting), & then extended my list to 11 because nothing has made me laugh recently like sir james in love and friendship. i have to have it on my list, so i'm pulling a spinal tap.

.

has your list changed at all?

[Edited 1/23/17 18:02pm]


I haven't seen any excellent 2016 movies since so my list is the same. I'm supposed to see 20th Century Women next week which got very good reviews so I'll revise my list if necessary then.

[Edited 1/24/17 15:40pm]

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Reply #63 posted 01/24/17 3:44pm

KoolEaze

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I really enjoyed this one and would love to see a sequel .

Great chemistry between Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling, interesting story, funny but not over the top funny, and the girl who played Gosling´s character´s daughter is adorable.

Loved the 1970s vibe, the vibrant colors, that L.A/California feeling and the cars and clothes.

A very enjoyable movie.

Four out of five stars.

****

" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"
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Reply #64 posted 01/24/17 3:45pm

KoolEaze

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I like both films but I prefer Rear Window.

I could watch it over and over again, and I´ve probably seen it at least 20 times.

thekidsgirl said:




Rear Window

Easy, 4.5/5 stars for me. Such a fun, entertaining film to watch, and I'm obsessed with the set.






Vertigo

A favorite and a classic. 5/5


" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"
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Reply #65 posted 01/25/17 9:05am

damosuzuki

dearest sister - 3.5/5 this laotian film (the first one directed by a woman, apparently) is getting billed as a horror movie, but it's as much a movie about class & poverty as it is about scares, & it's a pretty good one. the horror elements are very mild, but the film overall felt really fresh to me, and it looked quite good for what must have been a very low budget.

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Reply #66 posted 01/25/17 9:18am

sexton

avatar

damosuzuki said:

214 said:

Sing Street at number one? wow, it's a nice movie but nothing more than that. Very enoyable,i give you that.

obviously, i think it's much more than a nice movie. i think it's a perfect jewel of a film and i truly, unreservedly loved every second of it - but we're all allowed to be different. no harm in that.


I agree with you about Sing Street. Other than The Handmaiden, it's the 2016 movie I look forward to seeing again most.

The Handmaiden got a Canadian Blu-ray release this week. I may import it since a U.S. release date is nowhere in sight as of yet.

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Reply #67 posted 01/25/17 9:39am

2freaky4church
1

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Who didn't see La La Land.

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #68 posted 01/25/17 4:39pm

RodeoSchro

2freaky4church1 said:

Who didn't see La La Land.



Me, yet. Although I have Ryan Gosling on my Men Whose Movies I Have No Desire To See list, it looks like I'll be making an exception for this one. I've heard good things.

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Reply #69 posted 01/25/17 10:10pm

Pokeno4Money

avatar

Dasein said:

Split

A-





I'm seeing that tonight.

"Never let nasty stalkers disrespect you. They start shit, you finish it. Go down to their level, that's the only way they'll understand. You have to handle things yourself."
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Reply #70 posted 01/26/17 7:14am

djThunderfunk

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Playing catch up, lots of disappointments.... SPOILERS!!











Maybe I've seen too many movies at this point, but, I'm having a hard time not seeing some "surprise" endings coming from a mile away.

The Accountrant (again, SPOILERS) was ANYBODY really surprised by the revelation at the end? If so, how? Were you not paying attention to the flashbacks? It was clear that the flashbacks were telling not only Affleck's characters backstory, but also that of his brother. The INSTANT Bernthal's character was on screen I knew who he was. So obvious.

Arrival, are you kidding me? People thought that was deep? Surprising? wow...

Decent little sci-fi story sure, but, dragging out the obvious so long just had me thinking there was more to the "surprise" than there actually was. Would have made a great episode of Twilight Zone, but as a feature film this is weak sauce.

Inferno was just crap. Again, saw the "surprise" coming the immediately, plus, horrible story structure.

Morgan had a "surprise" that wasn't a surprise as well, but, at least with that one I enjoyed the ride.

It's not all bad though, Hell Or High Water & Moana were really good and Hacksaw Ridge is absolutely fantastic. I usually hate WWII movies, don't even like Saving Private Ryan (fell asleep twice) but this one is great! Between this one and Blood Father, Mel Gibson is BACK baby!!

Liberty > Authority
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Reply #71 posted 01/26/17 7:19am

djThunderfunk

avatar

RodeoSchro said:

2freaky4church1 said:

Who didn't see La La Land.



Me, yet. Although I have Ryan Gosling on my Men Whose Movies I Have No Desire To See list, it looks like I'll be making an exception for this one. I've heard good things.


I agree on Gosling. He sucks so bad. Luckily for me, based on the trailer and description, I wouldn't watch La La Land no matter who was in it. Not my cup of crap.

Gosling will be in the Blade Runner sequel though, so, I guess I'll see him in that even though I expect it to suck as I'm also not a fan of Villeneuve, don't like Prisoners, Sicario or Arrival. All 3 are highly over-rated. That and Blade Runner needs a sequel like Ben Hur needed another remake.


Liberty > Authority
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Reply #72 posted 01/26/17 10:14am

KoolEaze

avatar

djThunderfunk said:

RodeoSchro said:



Me, yet. Although I have Ryan Gosling on my Men Whose Movies I Have No Desire To See list, it looks like I'll be making an exception for this one. I've heard good things.


I agree on Gosling. He sucks so bad. Luckily for me, based on the trailer and description, I wouldn't watch La La Land no matter who was in it. Not my cup of crap.

Gosling will be in the Blade Runner sequel though, so, I guess I'll see him in that even though I expect it to suck as I'm also not a fan of Villeneuve, don't like Prisoners, Sicario or Arrival. All 3 are highly over-rated. That and Blade Runner needs a sequel like Ben Hur needed another remake.


I don´t like Gosling either and I think La La Land is absolutely not my kind of movie but The Nice Guys is really funny and enjoyable.

But...so far I´ve liked only a few Gosling movies. Don´t know what it is but there´s something about his movies that I just don´t like. I tired watching that movie he directed and it was a bit too boring for me, and I also watched Drive and didn´t like it. The Nice Guys is one of the few Gosling movies I enjoyed through and through.

What is it that you dislike about him? Maybe we dislike the same things about him? lol

" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"
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Reply #73 posted 01/26/17 10:34am

djThunderfunk

avatar

KoolEaze said:

djThunderfunk said:


I agree on Gosling. He sucks so bad. Luckily for me, based on the trailer and description, I wouldn't watch La La Land no matter who was in it. Not my cup of crap.

Gosling will be in the Blade Runner sequel though, so, I guess I'll see him in that even though I expect it to suck as I'm also not a fan of Villeneuve, don't like Prisoners, Sicario or Arrival. All 3 are highly over-rated. That and Blade Runner needs a sequel like Ben Hur needed another remake.


I don´t like Gosling either and I think La La Land is absolutely not my kind of movie but The Nice Guys is really funny and enjoyable.

But...so far I´ve liked only a few Gosling movies. Don´t know what it is but there´s something about his movies that I just don´t like. I tired watching that movie he directed and it was a bit too boring for me, and I also watched Drive and didn´t like it. The Nice Guys is one of the few Gosling movies I enjoyed through and through.

What is it that you dislike about him? Maybe we dislike the same things about him? lol


Honestly, I can only say that there is nothing at all about him that I do like. I don't think he's a good actor, he has zero charisma... he's completely unlikable to me. Almost as bad as Jake Gyllenhaal.

As for Nice Guys, I thought it was an okay movie, might even upgrade it to good without Gosling.

Liberty > Authority
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Reply #74 posted 01/26/17 10:44am

RodeoSchro

djThunderfunk said:

KoolEaze said:

I don´t like Gosling either and I think La La Land is absolutely not my kind of movie but The Nice Guys is really funny and enjoyable.

But...so far I´ve liked only a few Gosling movies. Don´t know what it is but there´s something about his movies that I just don´t like. I tired watching that movie he directed and it was a bit too boring for me, and I also watched Drive and didn´t like it. The Nice Guys is one of the few Gosling movies I enjoyed through and through.

What is it that you dislike about him? Maybe we dislike the same things about him? lol


Honestly, I can only say that there is nothing at all about him that I do like. I don't think he's a good actor, he has zero charisma... he's completely unlikable to me. Almost as bad as Jake Gyllenhaal.

As for Nice Guys, I thought it was an okay movie, might even upgrade it to good without Gosling.



I agree with those statements 100%. It's been a looooooong time since we've had a real male movie star. These guys like Gosling, Gyllenhaal, etc. wouldn't have even made it onto the lot back in '60's, '70's or '80's.

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Reply #75 posted 01/26/17 11:30am

morningsong

Free State of Jones. 2.5/5 I never really sat down and watched it, and wasn't drawn to, that pretty much sums up what I think about the movie.

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Reply #76 posted 01/27/17 2:32am

KoolEaze

avatar

RodeoSchro said:

djThunderfunk said:


Honestly, I can only say that there is nothing at all about him that I do like. I don't think he's a good actor, he has zero charisma... he's completely unlikable to me. Almost as bad as Jake Gyllenhaal.

As for Nice Guys, I thought it was an okay movie, might even upgrade it to good without Gosling.



I agree with those statements 100%. It's been a looooooong time since we've had a real male movie star. These guys like Gosling, Gyllenhaal, etc. wouldn't have even made it onto the lot back in '60's, '70's or '80's.

Clooney, Di Caprio, Pitt, Crowe, Fassbender, Day-Lewis....just from the top of my head, and just to name a few.

I´d also mention Ben Affleck but I know how you feel about him. I quite like him, especially as a director, and I think The Town was a very good heist movie.

" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"
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Reply #77 posted 01/27/17 8:01am

Ugot2shakesumt
hin

214 said:



damosuzuki said:




sexton said:




What is your updated top movies of 2016 list?





it's looking something like this right now.

1 sing street


2 tower


3 moonlight


4 the handmaiden


5

Sing Street at number one? wow, it's a nice movie but nothing more than that. Very enoyable,i give you that.



Yep I thought the same thing. It's cute, yet cheesy TV movie if I wanted to be charitable. The thing is, I know it's a low budget movie, but does it have to look like a low budget movie? Look at Moonlight and La La Land, two low budget movies that look and sound amazing. I would say both of these movies put big budget movies to shame where it comes to skill and pure artistry.

But...while I was Watching Sing Street, I kept wondering if the cheap and cheesiness was intentional, in keeping with 80's television masterpieces like "Save By The Bell" or "Small
wonder"
But different tastes. It's all good. I liked
It too, but not as much as other folks.
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Reply #78 posted 01/27/17 8:19am

Ugot2shakesumt
hin

djThunderfunk said:

Playing catch up, lots of disappointments.... SPOILERS!!













Maybe I've seen too many movies at this point, but, I'm having a hard time not seeing some "surprise" endings coming from a mile away.

The Accountrant (again, SPOILERS) was ANYBODY really surprised by the revelation at the end? If so, how? Were you not paying attention to the flashbacks? It was clear that the flashbacks were telling not only Affleck's characters backstory, but also that of his brother. The INSTANT Bernthal's character was on screen I knew who he was. So obvious.

Arrival, are you kidding me? People thought that was deep? Surprising? wow...


Decent little sci-fi story sure, but, dragging out the obvious so long just had me thinking there was more to the "surprise" than there actually was. Would have made a great episode of Twilight Zone, but as a feature film this is weak sauce.

Inferno was just crap. Again, saw the "surprise" coming the immediately, plus, horrible story structure.

Morgan had a "surprise" that wasn't a surprise as well, but, at least with that one I enjoyed the ride.

It's not all bad though, Hell Or High Water & Moana were really good and Hacksaw Ridge is absolutely fantastic. I usually hate WWII movies, don't even like Saving Private Ryan (fell asleep twice) but this one is great! Between this one and Blood Father, Mel Gibson is BACK baby!!




I agree with you on Arrival. I had to wake up my girlfriend at the end. As soon as it was over she chastised me because I bugged he to go see it

Her review
"100% on Rotten Tomatoes? That sucked ass!"

My review
It's ok and highly overrated. Here's the telling point with Arrival, remove the flash back gimmick, and play in correct order and it's a pretty dumb movie.
Do the same thing with a movie like "Pulp Fiction" that used that same ploy, ...and it's still a badass movie. A gimmick is a gimmick if that's all a movie has going for it.But it's a moviemaking tool in a great movie.

Arrival was released in wide release with 100% RT rating before release, so it got good opening weekend numbers then tanked as people finally saw it.

On the other hand, a low budget movie like La La Land, released on a small number of screens, and with nothing but great word of mouth has surpassed it.
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Reply #79 posted 01/27/17 12:12pm

morningsong

Star Trek: Beyond for the 2nd time.

Yep feel the exact same way about it. Yorktown looks like Disneyland went a little berserk on steroids in a bubble, it does not look like a place I'd want to live and work. Mass destruction turns me off in movies unless I really feel like there something to root for against something truly omnious, which in this case there was neither. This time I'm even going to criticize my beloved. He can add a bit more of himself into Bones now, getting too caricature-ish which is making Bones obviously out of sync with everybody else since they are being more of themselves, those moments when he's just being casual are nice. How come Krall didn't just attack using his bee force, what was the point of waiting for a weapon that destroys ALL life to stir up trouble with the Federation? Still like Jayla, still like Spock.

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Reply #80 posted 01/28/17 2:43pm

damosuzuki

the sadist - no-budget early exploitation film from 1963. three square teachers are terrorized by a killer and his wonderfully trashy girlfriend. it's really great, & not just in a 'myster science theatre' sense either. it's genuinely tense, competently made i'd say (except for arch hall jr.'s acting, possibly) & really great fun. 3.5/5

Image result for the sadist

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Reply #81 posted 01/28/17 3:40pm

KoolEaze

avatar

damosuzuki said:

the sadist - no-budget early exploitation film from 1963. three square teachers are terrorized by a killer and his wonderfully trashy girlfriend. it's really great, & not just in a 'myster science theatre' sense either. it's genuinely tense, competently made i'd say (except for arch hall jr.'s acting, possibly) & really great fun. 3.5/5

Thanks for the tip, watching it right now.

" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"
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Reply #82 posted 01/28/17 3:43pm

thekidsgirl

avatar

Julieta

This was of course, stylish and immersive, but for a film that portrayed emotions so well through out, I thought the ending was a bit weak. Plus, this felt short! The sun was still up when I left the theater :lol:

3.2/5
If you will, so will I
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Reply #83 posted 01/28/17 4:16pm

Ace



Proof

(2005) Gwyneth Paltrow, Anthony Hopkins, Jake Gyllenhaal

I must be honest and say that Paltrow blew my mind in this. Haven't seen her act much and was completely and utterly shocked at how naturalistic she was here. To my mind, an Oscar-worthy performance.

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Reply #84 posted 01/28/17 7:29pm

damosuzuki

sexton said:

damosuzuki said:

obviously, i think it's much more than a nice movie. i think it's a perfect jewel of a film and i truly, unreservedly loved every second of it - but we're all allowed to be different. no harm in that.


I agree with you about Sing Street. Other than The Handmaiden, it's the 2016 movie I look forward to seeing again most.

The Handmaiden got a Canadian Blu-ray release this week. I may import it since a U.S. release date is nowhere in sight as of yet.

i don't regularly buy blu-rays these days, but i will definitely be picking up sing street, and i'll probably pick up the handmaiden as well.

.

btw, i had my teeth cleaned this past week, and a certain scene from the handmaiden was running through my head the entire time. definitely the closest a dental appointment has ever come to feeling like an erotic experience.

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Reply #85 posted 01/29/17 7:02am

RodeoSchro

Last night we watched "The Nice Guys". I have to say, the only accurate word in its title is "The".

What a stupid movie. It was the Stupidest Movie of 2016. I'm ready to award it the Stupidest Movie of This Decade. I don't see how a movie could be more stupid than this one. The only thing this movie excels at is stupidity. It's not funny. It's not interesting. It's not action-packed.

It's just stupid.

I just backspaced over the line that was here, because I decided not to go political with my comparison in how stupid this movie is. But feel free to think of the stupidest politician you can, and that's how stupid this movie is.

First things first.

This movie was set in 1977. At first, I thought "Yay! Surely they will correct the mistakes of other movies recently set in 1977, namely American Hustle and Dazed and Confused, and fill this movie with 1977 Pontiac Grand Prixs, as that was not only the best-looking car of 1977, but it is the best-looking 2-door sedan America has ever made!"

Nope!

Not ONE 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix is in this movie. I guess in retrospect this is a good thing, because at least the greatest 2-door sedan in American history won't ever be associated with one of the stupidest movies ever made. But here is a picture the 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix that RodeoSchro drove through his senior year of high school and all four years of college:





I'll post pictures of a couple other 1977 Pontiac Grand Prixs in this review because you know what? I'm sick and tired of directors making movies set in 1977 and not featuring this car. It's a travesty that I intend to correct in this post!

Back to the failure that is "The Nice Guys". However, we have to address "La La Land" right now.

I am never going to see "La La Land". Ever. That is my solemn vow to you. If I ever break it, I will buy another 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix for the sole purpose of offering rides in it to any of you that want to come visit me in Houston, or where ever I might be. I'll even let you drive!

Sometimes I do smart things. Like when I comprised my List of Actors Whose Movies I Never Intend to See. My judgement on that was, up until last night, impeccable. Actually, the judgement is still impeccable. The mistake I made was in watching a movie with one of those "actors" from the list. In this case, the "actor" is Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling is proof that you have to be neither handsome nor talented to be a successful actor. I guess this guy worked hard and never gave up, thus proving the old adage that 90% of being successful is just showing up. Because this guy has NOTHING else going for him.

So what would be the dumbest thing you could do when you cast an "actor" that is neither good nor handsome, or even interesting to look at? Why, make his character just as bad, dumb and uninteresting! And for the cherry on top, let's sell that character to Big Tobacco!

Gosling plays a private detective who is a complete f-up. He's a drunk, he has no sense of smell, he has the worst daughter in film history, he's the worst father in film history, and he's a complete wuss. So the idiot that wrote this movie figured, "I can fix it! For a comedic device, we'll make Gosling's character a smoker and the joke will be that in every scene, he lights a cigarette!"

Or maybe Gosling's smoking was derived this way: "We are in deep doo-doo. This movie is horrible! Our actors are horrible! The story is horrible! The fact there are no 1977 Pontiac Grand Prixs in this movie is horrible! We're going to lose our shirts on this, but wait! Maybe we can cut our losses by auctioning off Gosling's horrible character to the highest bidder from Big Tobacco! In fact, if Big Tobacco pays us enough money, we'll have him fire up a cancer stick in every single scene! Somebody call those murderers at Big Tobacco right now and get the bidding started! We're saved!!!!! Financially, anyway!!!!! Our movie still sucks!!!!!!"

I also have the feeling the same conversation was held with Big Alcohol, because Gosling was a drunk yet his drinking had no effect on anything. He apparently got drunk on one drink, but when it was time for action then it didn't matter how drunk he was, because he immediately sobered up. I wonder if there were any other vices the film makers could sell out to? I mean, if you're glamorizing smoking and drinking, why stop there?

They didn't!

The heroes are all in porn!

Who the Sam Hill thought up the name "The Nice Guys"?!? Like I said, there is NOTHING nice about these guys at ALL. Time for another 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix!





Check out the awesome license plate!

I could go on for another 12 paragraphs about how stupid Ryan Gosling and his sell-out of a character is. But let's dump on Russell Crowe now!

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO RUSSELL CROWE? HE IS NOW FRED FLINTSTONE!

I could post some pictures of him but that would ruin my 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix vibe, and also I don't think pictures would fully convey the Crowe-as-Flinstone situation. But trust me - Russell Crowe would need absolutely nothing except a little jet-black hair dye in order to be the greatest Fred Flintone in history. He's so fat now! And his voice! He sounds like what Ryan Gosling is going to sound like after another year of smoking. Crowe's voice is surpassed in Cancerness only by Michael Douglas's. Neither my wife or I understood 25% of what Crowe said - not even after we turned the volume up almost all the way. I was thisclose to engaging the Closed Caption feature. Crowe is THAT unintelligible.

But other than that, I did like Crowe. He's a good actor, unlike Ryan Gosling, who is only an "actor".

I guess I have to come up with a few paragraphs about the stupid plot of this movie, so that I have enough space between pictures of 1977 Pontiac Grand Prixs. So, here goes nothing.

"The Nice Guys" starts with the dumbest opening ever. Some 13-year-old boy is sneaking his father's copy of Cavalier magazine from under his parent's bed. NOTE: No father ever hid his Cavalier magazine under the bed. It was always on the top shelf of the bedroom closet. Ask any guy in his 40's, 50's or 60's. We know.

So this dork kid is drooling over the centerfold picture of "Misty Mountains" when a 1976 Pontiac Trans Am comes crashing down the hillside, crashes through about 6 rooms of this kid's house, and then continues crashing down in the hillside below the home. The dork kid - whose parents unbelievably do not wake up, even though a 1976 Pontiac Trans Am has demolished their house - goes down to the wreck and sees the license plate says "Misty M". Lo and behold, there's Misty Mountains herself, lying beside the wreck. She's naked, too! She's covered in blood, but still - naked! Therefore the dork kid is able to accurately identify the dying woman as Misty Mountains. "How do you like my car?" she says with her dying breath. I'm not kidding - that's what she said. I think that was supposed to be important but full disclosure - I fell asleep about an hour into this stupid movie, which was a blessing I thanked God for in my prayers later that night. Anyway, the dork kid takes off his PJ top and lovingly covers Ms. Mountain's breasts. And......SCENE!

Then, for reasons never made clear to us, we are introduced to Fred Flintsone and the Marlboro Man. Fred Flintsone beats up guys for a living. If someone is causing you trouble, you hire Russell Crowe and his goes to their house and beats them up. And trust me, he is the good guy in all this. At least, he's "good" as far as anyone can be called "good" in this complete waste of time.

"Actor" Ryan Gosling is a former cop turned private eye. He lives in a nice house that no one can figure out how he affords. He has a really cool 1970's Mercedes sedan convertible. If not for the my rescue efforts pertaining to the 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix, I'd post a picture of it. But this thread focuses only on the 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix and there's no way in hell I will ever re-watch this movie, or watch any other movie that "actor" Ryan Gosling is in, so under no circumstances will I post a picture of that particular car. But it's cool nevertheless. In fact, it's the only cool thing about this idiotic movie but it's NOT cool enough for you to waste any time or money whatsoever watching this flop.

Gosling has a daughter who is, I guess, 13. Maybe a little younger. So of course she is smarter than everyone else, and more acerbic than everyone else, and more in touch with her dead mother than anyone else. She also drives Gosling around - I guess because he was too drunk to drive, or something. They never say.

Crowe beats up Gosling and breaks his arm, so they instantly become friends and brothers-in-arms (except Gosling's arm remains broken for the entire movie). I have chosen not to remember why, but they end up at a porn producer's home, where he is having a porn party. As I am sure you've already figured out, Gosling's worldly daughter has hidden in the trunk, and blends in perfectly at the porn party. She's so cool that the porn actresses proudly show her their movies. No one seems to care that she's 13. Not even her father, alleged "actor" Ryan Gosling, who is too busy getting fall-down drunk on one drink. Really - it was one drink. I figured they were going to show how the drink was spiked, but no. He got fall-down drunk on one drink. Which, in a weird way, kind of explains how he was able to immediately sober up when the "action" started.

Egad, just trying to get through this absolute bust of a movie has me yearning for another 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix.






Two-tones were cool in 1977! My brother had a 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix that was two-tone maroon and red, while my best friend had one that was two-tone blue and light blue. I never had a two-tone 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix, though. I had one that was dark brown, and two that were the light brown color in the first 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix picture above.

Back to this movie. Actually, let's wrap up this six-week-old piece of rotten fish. If you've gotten this far, you're either promising never to watch this movie, or you're agreeing with me that watching it was the worst mistake you've made since you bought a Black-Eyed Peas album. So here is what I think this movie was supposed to be about:

Some chick is blaming Detroit for LA's smog. She films an expose but since she is sure Detroit is trying to kill her (which they do, by the way. Lucky her!), she splices in her expose in the middle of a porn movie she's made. Except if you call it a porn movie, she gets mad and tells you it's an "art movie". But it's a porn movie.

Gosling and Crowe kill a few people, but to be honest I could not tell you if they succeed in saving the expose/porn movie or not. Or, if they were successful in saving the expose/porn movie, whether or not that really mattered. Nor do I know what the hell Kim Basinger was supposed to be doing in this movie. Neither will you.

I always try to inject positivity in the world. There is nothing positive to say about this movie, which is many ways resembles someone else's turd that you accidentally stepped in. But I think there is one take-away that might help some of you:

Ryan Gosling is proof that you don't have to be attractive or able to act in order to be a successful Hollywood actor these days. So if your dream is to be a movie star, just keep telling yourself this: "If Ryan Gosling can do it, anyone can do it!"

Good luck!

"The Nice Guys" is not worthy of any kind of rating at all. If not for the excuse that I made up to post pictures of 1977 Pontiac Grand Prixs, it wasn't even worth the time it took to write this review. I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I've made for you.

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Reply #86 posted 01/29/17 7:18am

RodeoSchro

KoolEaze said:

RodeoSchro said:



I agree with those statements 100%. It's been a looooooong time since we've had a real male movie star. These guys like Gosling, Gyllenhaal, etc. wouldn't have even made it onto the lot back in '60's, '70's or '80's.

Clooney, Di Caprio, Pitt, Crowe, Fassbender, Day-Lewis....just from the top of my head, and just to name a few.

I´d also mention Ben Affleck but I know how you feel about him. I quite like him, especially as a director, and I think The Town was a very good heist movie.



LOL, I like Affleck. I just wish he could act. I've only seen the last little bit of "The Town" and I do plan to watch it some day.

I don't know who Fassbender is but the other guys on your list are what I'd consider "movie stars". Did you notice they are all a generation older than the Goslings and Gyllenhahls we have today? That's what I mean by it's been a loooooong time since we've had a real male movie star. And with all due respect to the dudes above, they are a cut below the Jack Nicholsons, John Waynes and Richard Burtons who came before them.

Don't take my review of "The Nice Guys" personally. I love you, but we sure don't agree on that one!

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Reply #87 posted 01/29/17 11:24am

2freaky4church
1

avatar

Rodeo, the guy won an Oscar?

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #88 posted 01/29/17 11:48am

RodeoSchro

So what?

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Reply #89 posted 01/29/17 1:15pm

Ugot2shakesumt
hin

king King (2005) directed by Peter Jackson and starring Jack Black.
I give it a very generous 3 out of 10

When going on Rotten Tomatoes, it's always important to not just go by critics score but weigh it against audience scores. And that's important! Especially with this movie.

84% guaranteed fresh score from critics
50% score from the audience.

The discrepancy?
Audiences just care about having a good time.
Critics live in an eco-chambers and their own little peer bubble. This movie certainly benefited from having the name Peter Jackson attached to it as he had been a critics darling.

But boy is this bad. I tuned out after the first 10 minutes. Cliche after cliche. Terrible dialogue, I can go on forever. Just plain awful.

The main takeaway I wanna put forward is to balance critics with audience opinion. Especially when it comes to a general audience popcorn flick like this is supposed to be!

So the audience opinion is spot on with this one. The critics were either paid, wearing beer goggles, or god knows what when recommending this awful awful movie.
[Edited 1/29/17 13:23pm]
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