It happened again the other day.

Driving along I-95 on my way to work in the early morning, when suddenly traffic comes to a grinding halt. Four lanes of traffic, all at a near standstill. Took me nearly a half hour to go 3 miles.

Why do you think?

Road construction? Nope

Multi-car accident blocking a few lanes? Nope

Debris in the road? Nope

Car fire in the breakdown lane? Nope

Bad weather? Nope

The reason for the massive traffic jam? Halfway down an exit ramp, at least 300 feet away from the highway were two cop cars with their lights on because a motorcycle went onto the grass.

So OF COURSE anytime rubberneckers see any sort of flashing lights, no matter how far away from the highway the lights may be, no matter how far down the exit ramp the lights may be, the rubberneckers JUST HAVE TO pump their brakes and bring their speed down to 30MPH on a 65MPH highway so they can turn their head and stretch their neck to stare at the shiny bright lights and anything else they can see.

Nevermind that the actions of these rubberneckers cause other drivers to get rear-ended, and cause a lengthy delay in everyone's commute. They JUST HAVE TO slow way down so they can focus all of their attention on the spinning blue lights.

Might I make a suggestion to those rubberneckers?

If your life is so damn boring that you feel the need to slow down to a crawl on a major highway just so you can gawk at an accident that isn't anywhere near the highway you're on, then pull the fuck over and stare all you want from the breakdown lane or the grass so that the non-pathetic drivers behind you can get to where they are going without being an hour late because of your sorry nosy ass.

Thank you.

ho

As disastrous as it is, people love disaster...

It wasn't my fault....


I swear, I was just tooling along down the expressway yesterday, minding my own biz when I spotted something in the other lane that I assumed was road kill. I instinctively slowed and thank heavens I did because it was not road kill, but a duck family crossing the expressway. Mama and five ducklings, I kid you not.

Mind you, I have seen all manner of wildlife crossing side streets and even main thouroughfares but the expressway? What in the entire history of fkuc? I once ran into an entire hoarde of crabs crossing the street but it was a side street. By the time I realized what was happening all I heard was the crunch, crunch, crunch of dozens of crab shells under my car....ewww.

I hit the brakes and blew the horn at the duck dynasty. They stopped while I passed them and a few other cars did the same as me but I can't help wondering if they made it across the other side because it's the expressway ffs and I can't stop worrying about those daggone ducks!

I intentionally tailgate the car in front of me when approaching an accident, and as soon as I see the car to slow down and that head turn...I LEAN on my horn.

PurpleJedi said:

I intentionally tailgate the car in front of me when approaching an accident, and as soon as I see the car to slow down and that head turn...I LEAN on my horn.

I like your style!

Pokeno4Money said:

PurpleJedi said:

I intentionally tailgate the car in front of me when approaching an accident, and as soon as I see the car to slow down and that head turn...I LEAN on my horn.

I like your style!