So I'm texting with this dude right now and it's a dude i sort of like... and he likes me. But this mofo does all these one word texts and it's kind of annoying. Obviously we both work and have busy life's (school, work, gym, etc) he's i guess one of those shy types or whatever. I honestly feel annoyed by those shy guy types as i get older and older. You have to hold most of the conversation and you show interests in thing's they're into. But they don't show interests in yours... they're just like ''oh that's cool'' or ''nice'' and that's the end of it.

For example I've told this dude many times I'm a musician. He knows i produce and play bass all the time i asked if he'd like me to play bass or piano for him and he said ''nah i'm good'' idk usually most people LOVE IT when others play music for them. I asked them if they wanted to see me working on one of my film sets at one time. Dude basically said nah I'm good to that one as well.

I'll even tell him about accomplishments i made and he's just like ''cool'' yet when he tells me about his accomplishments with work or his science schooling i congratulate him. And talk with him about it...

Any who would y'all pursue someone like this? I've sadly gotten a lot of guys who like me that are the shy types. And i have to hold almost all of the conversation and that's kind of exhausting after awhile. Am i overthinking this? or does this guy just sound meh?

I do understand you, i mean it happens to me with friends, and you are sort of very expressive, and the one at the other side is like "ok" " not" "yes" it's like you want to kick their lazy asses. But that's with friends, now in your situation must be harder and a little sad because you care about this guy, you are tryin to get in and he does no show any interest.

Btw, are you a woman or a man?

Did you ask him about it?

Did you go to his work or did you ask to show his talent to you, too?

Because I don't know how your situation is (your interpretation), I can't say any sensible thing about it. I do recognize it, therefore I will tell you how my experience is, maybe you can get something out of it. Or maybe not, in that case, sorry to have waisted your time.



I had to learn social relations and communication as an adult.

It went wrong very often and I never understood why.

Then I gotdiagnosed with ADHD. One of the qualifications is; the urge to talk. Just like a babble over here, I babble in real life too. And just like overhere, I switch topics every other senctence>

Another characteristic is being enthousiastic. I'm enthousiastic about things other people do and about what I do myself. More so than other people are.

Oftentimes this gets confused with having a big ego. That is not the case. The confusion about big ego/ADHD is understandable, because in both cases people talk a lot and lack the modesty that is expected from women in society.

I had to learn to focus more and to make sure everybody in the conversation will be heard. Because I trained myself in this, I got better. However, it's never a natural thing. The urge to talk will allways be there.

Therefore, I'm socially very insecure. Among friends I agree with them that they will interrupt me and finish their story or say something about my babbling. In order to keep the friendship in balance, I need to be able to rely on them, giving me feedback. Only with friends who I know will stop me, I can be relaxed and myself. If somebody is too shy or not assertive and does not give me feedback, I know I have to be on my guard. I will do everything I can to focus, but I also know that I will not be relaxed.

dJJ said:

That ain't shyness that's disinterest. He's only interested in talking about himself.

He's not that into you.


Trust me. I've made excuses for guys (he's shy, he works a lot, he's slow to loosen up, he doesn't want to seem too pressed, etc...) and even blamed myself ("I'm just being a nag"); but at the end of the day, if he is as interested in you as you are in him, you'll know. If he he gives you one short text for every 3 lengthy ones you send, then just back off a bit and see if he reaches out to you with a little more assertion.

I kind of want to think it's the ''not into you'' thing. But then he keeps asking me on dates so... kidna weird.

Gunsnhalen said:

I kind of want to think it's the ''not into you'' thing. But then he keeps asking me on dates so... kidna weird.

Have ya'll went on dates before? Virtual vs real life dialougs can be different.

Maybe he's one of those people who suck at texting but are engaging in real life. If not, you're better off.

thekidsgirl said:

He's not that into you.


Trust me. I've made excuses for guys (he's shy, he works a lot, he's slow to loosen up, he doesn't want to seem too pressed, etc...) and even blamed myself ("I'm just being a nag"); but at the end of the day, if he is as interested in you as you are in him, you'll know. If he he gives you one short text for every 3 lengthy ones you send, then just back off a bit and see if he reaches out to you with a little more assertion.

Oh yeah, get the hint & move on I used to text this dude long ago, and that was his M.O. His idea of opening conversations would be like sending me his "selfies" for compliments, I suppose. I wouldn't hear from him for days, and instead of a simple "hi how you're doing" he would send me the same selfie with different backgrounds instead.

Finally told him "There's an app called Instagram for your type of thing. I hear its good". Haven't heard from him eversince

Gunsnhalen said:

I kind of want to think it's the ''not into you'' thing. But then he keeps asking me on dates so... kidna weird.

Why don't you ask him about it?

Maybe he's just not a texting guy. And maybe he likes you, but this is just his way communicating.

Hamad said:

thekidsgirl said:

He's not that into you.


Trust me. I've made excuses for guys (he's shy, he works a lot, he's slow to loosen up, he doesn't want to seem too pressed, etc...) and even blamed myself ("I'm just being a nag"); but at the end of the day, if he is as interested in you as you are in him, you'll know. If he he gives you one short text for every 3 lengthy ones you send, then just back off a bit and see if he reaches out to you with a little more assertion.

Oh yeah, get the hint & move on I used to text this dude long ago, and that was his M.O. His idea of opening conversations would be like sending me his "selfies" for compliments, I suppose. I wouldn't hear from him for days, and instead of a simple "hi how you're doing" he would send me the same selfie with different backgrounds instead.

Finally told him "There's an app called Instagram for your type of thing. I hear its good". Haven't heard from him eversince

That was great for you to say

Gunsnhalen said:

I kind of want to think it's the ''not into you'' thing. But then he keeps asking me on dates so... kidna weird.

.

Silly question, but do the dates usually end with sex? It could be that he's strictly wanting to hook up but not really interested in you or in starting a relationship.

The bottom line is (no pun intended ) when there is no actual give-and-take conversation (with or without sex) and communication (in person), there is no real relationship.