I call mine Babe, but that's not really what I mean.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 years and have lived together for 3. We have no plans to get married. In casual conversation I feel like the term "boyfriend" is making the relationship seem like less than it is. However, I hate "partner" (sounds like you run a business together) and "significant other" (too long and awkward). I live in the Bible Belt, so in some situations I round up to husband, and generally don't correct people who assume we are married, but I just don't have a good way to refer to him. What do you think?

I'm in a similar boat. We've been together 5 years, lived together for 2 and a half. "Boyfriend" feels weird since he's 40 (and I'll be 40 this year). I've used "partner" a few times but it doesn't sound right either. I don't say "significant other" as that just doesn't sound like me. I've heard my mom say "fiance" to others even though she knows that's not entirely accurate.

I don't know. Maybe we'll get married soon just to make this easier.

CarrieMpls said:

I'm in a similar boat. We've been together 5 years, lived together for 2 and a half. "Boyfriend" feels weird since he's 40 (and I'll be 40 this year). I've used "partner" a few times but it doesn't sound right either. I don't say "significant other" as that just doesn't sound like me. I've heard my mom say "fiance" to others even though she knows that's not entirely accurate.

I don't know. Maybe we'll get married soon just to make this easier.

Yeah, I think the age thing is part of it too... we have a big age gap, I'm 35 and he's 55. So it seems silly to be calling a 55 year old my boyfriend.

He calls me his lady, or old lady... but he's a biker kinda guy and he can say that... I don't feel like I can refer to him as "my man" with a straight face to a business colleague.

Honestly, I don't remember what I called my wife before we were married. Everything sounds weird to me. I think I usually just referred to her as "my other half."

[Edited 4/2/15 14:18pm]

I usually just call him by his name, without qualifiers. I don't talk about him in conversation with people who don't know him.

To presevere his anonymity here, I just call him "my sweetie."

CarrieMpls said:

I'm in a similar boat. We've been together 5 years, lived together for 2 and a half. "Boyfriend" feels weird since he's 40 (and I'll be 40 this year). I've used "partner" a few times but it doesn't sound right either. I don't say "significant other" as that just doesn't sound like me. I've heard my mom say "fiance" to others even though she knows that's not entirely accurate.

I don't know. Maybe we'll get married soon just to make this easier.

I say Boyfriend but we are still approaching our one year anniverary. I agree "partner" sounds like someone a teacher assigned you to practice French with.

CarrieMpls said:

I've heard my mom say "fiance" to others even though she knows that's not entirely accurate.

oh SNAP

As a gay man, I absolutely reFUSE to use the word "partner". It sounds like we're cops instead of lovers

I prefer "boothang", "toyfriend", "bed candy" or the classic "boo boo kitty fuck".