Did you ask why? Maybe spice up da sexth??

Can you live without sex or not?? Look at the state of your relationship (take off the rose coloured glasses). Are you happy in the relationship? is your partner?

If they are not willing to go to counselling with you then maybe it is time to re-evaluate and/or they want out?? Or is it the end??

I'm sorry, that sucks so much.

I saw on TV a lady who said she wanted to live out her years celibate. Understandably her husband was devastated, but she had so many issues surrounding her sexuality she decided it was the only way she could live.

Libido has a lot to do with diet and medications/drugs. The standard american diet and birth control pills for example, both completely kill libido.

If your partner doesn't ever feel desire any more it could be due to that? (if of course it isn't something to do with their sexual past/trauma)

What is the standard American diet and birth control pills?

honeyandmilk said:

What is the standard American diet and birth control pills?

That whole yellow section is what I would normally refer to as "crap" and if half your diet is "food-like" substances (as opposed to say, vegies) then your body is not thriving, just surviving. Auto-immune anyone?

oral contraceptive pills

one of the side effects is loss of libido, kind of defeats the purpose of taking them

ZombieKitten said:

honeyandmilk said:

What is the standard American diet and birth control pills?

I would feel miserable when this was my diet.

I've worked with 2 Male Senior citizens, both of different races, both said their wives no longer wanted Sex once they reached their 50's. The Black wife told her husband to "go out and get a Girlfriend". The White Wife became addicted to the Internet so she's substituting Cyber-space for Sex with her husband. I never asked my coworkers if they had a Girlfriend on the side....It's gotta be hard for Senor Males that still have a strong Sex drive...Both Guys have been married to their wives Forever and Divorce will never be an option...I can't say what I would or would not do in their situation...My mind-set will change once I reach 60 or 65.....

nextedition said:

ZombieKitten said:

honeyandmilk said:

What is the standard American diet and birth control pills?

That whole yellow section is what I would normally refer to as "crap" and if half your diet is "food-like" substances (as opposed to say, vegies) then your body is not thriving, just surviving. Auto-immune anyone?

oral contraceptive pills

one of the side effects is loss of libido, kind of defeats the purpose of taking them

I´m skeptical of oral contraceptives because of their side effects such as blod clots etc., but as far as libido goes, most women I talked to told me that they had no negative effect on their libido. On the contrary, most felt their libido increased because of the hormones and because they felt safer compared to using other, less reliable methods of contraception. Feeling safer made them more relaxed and increased their libido.

Probably depends on what brand or hormones one uses.

i don't know what i would do. i hope things work out for those involved

wait - i thought of something. sounds kind of silly, but, maybe enroll in ball room or latin dance classes? non-threatening phsyical contact in a neutral setting might reawaken a person's interest in sex. or maybe, just spending more time as friends, allowing that bond to regrow.

KoolEaze said:

Menopause... a decrease levels of estrogen levels can affect a woman's desire and sex drive. I'd at least suggest a trip to her GP and/or OBGYN. Yes, some woman go into early menopause...

well...

i would go and find out if they tellin the same story to

the one they are fukkkin...

OR

look back into the contract for the "old before your time" clause.

of course, since they unnastan that they are the one takin sex

off the table, they really cannot (would not) stop you from

interviewin for a new "sex" partner...

[Edited 2/2/15 7:01am]

TD3 said:

Menopause... a decrease levels of estrogen levels can affect a woman's desire and sex drive. I'd at least suggest a trip to her GP and/or OBGYN. Yes, some woman go into early menopause...

This is the primary reason for older women not desiring sex.

If your partner is serious about no longer having a sexual relationship with you, they should be open to you fulfilling your sexual needs outside the relationship.

If they have decided that their love for you is no longer about intimacy they will not have a problem with you being intimate with someone else.

The fact they aren't interested in doing something about it is actually them sending a message to you. That message is they don't value the relationship, and they don't mind taking the risk of losing you. Sorry, but when you really care about someone you make the effort to try and make them happy. Their unwillingness to make the effort tells me it's probably time for you to move on, unless you're in a relationship of convenience and are fine with that. 10 years without the commitment of marriage makes me think that may be the case.

As for suggesting that you get your freak on with others, that would work fine if you and your partner are in a relationship of convenience.

peppeken said:

what would u do if your partner of 10 years announced they are no longer feeling sexual and can live without it and wont go to a counsellor ???

Hop on some new stuff.

I understand completely what the woman is going through because I have the same, shall we say, "affliction." As women age, their hormone levels go haywire and affect libido. I can honestly do without sex, but there are times when a twinge will hit me, but that happens very, very infrequently. I sympathize with you though, and if your partner is not interested in salvaging your relationship, and sex is still very important to you, you may have to just let her go and find fulfillment elsewhere.

Hey, wait a minute. We are talking about a woman right? If you're in a same sex relationship, then you need to make sure your partner isn't just handing you a line of bull just to stop having sex with you. He/she might be having an affair with somone else.

Shyra said:

We are talking about a woman right? If you're in a same sex relationship, then you need to make sure your partner isn't just handing you a line of bull just to stop having sex with you. He/she might be having an affair with somone else.

I was gonna say, everyone took a seriously wrong turn if they assumed he was talkin' about a woman! I remembered his posts from a few years ago, plus no American refers to their opposite sex significant other as a "partner".

By the way, that's sound advice Shyra. It's very possible his partner has no interest in having sex with just him. He should definitely find out if there's another guy in the picture.

Ask your partner if she/he understands what the consequences are for you.

If she is not willing to search for a solution, she onesidedly takes a way something important from the relationship.


Write her a letter about what it means to you. Without blaming her for the way she feels.

It must be hard for her too.

jon1967 said:

Do what you gotta do

This is fair if you talk about it first and agree its how its gotta be

dJJ said:

Ask your partner if she/he understands what the consequences are for you.

If she is not willing to search for a solution, she onesidedly takes a way something important from the relationship.


Write her a letter about what it means to you. Without blaming her for the way she feels.

It must be hard for her too.

have we established peppeken is a man? we are making assumption that his wife is menopausal which may or may not be accurate

but yes to everything you said djj

ZombieKitten said:

KoolEaze said:

ZombieKitten said:

That whole yellow section is what I would normally refer to as "crap" and if half your diet is "food-like" substances (as opposed to say, vegies) then your body is not thriving, just surviving. Auto-immune anyone?

oral contraceptive pills

one of the side effects is loss of libido, kind of defeats the purpose of taking them

I´m skeptical of oral contraceptives because of their side effects such as blod clots etc., but as far as libido goes, most women I talked to told me that they had no negative effect on their libido. On the contrary, most felt their libido increased because of the hormones and because they felt safer compared to using other, less reliable methods of contraception. Feeling safer made them more relaxed and increased their libido.

Probably depends on what brand or hormones one uses.

Depending on what the dosage is, the pill will dry you up. So yes, the pill absolutely takes away sex drive.