ThisOne said:

For the first time in my life I feel like I am connecting to mine and sort of understand them Over the years we have clashed as they r extremely old fashioned and religious and we have never seen eye to eye But since my divorce I have found them to b caring and understanding and even loving Throughout my whole childhood I never once felt that from them but now I actually do I think old age has opened their eyes and minds

I'm so glad y'all are connecting! I'm sure they love you very much and it's great for that love to be showing through.

I was so fortunate. My relationship with my parents was great. I couldn't have asked for better parents.

I try to be as good to my kids as mine were to me. Our kids are 18 and 21 now, and I am very, very proud of them. They are so much smarter and talented than I am! All credit goes to my wife, though. She's a far better parent than I am.

ThisOne said:

For the first time in my life I feel like I am connecting to mine and sort of understand them Over the years we have clashed as they r extremely old fashioned and religious and we have never seen eye to eye But since my divorce I have found them to b caring and understanding and even loving Throughout my whole childhood I never once felt that from them but now I actually do I think old age has opened their eyes and minds

I think everyone should find a way to connect with the people who brought them on the earth if it's possible. It's also good to thank them for making a person who has a clue, if in fact you have one.

I speak to my mother, there is not much positive things I can say about both my parents. They are pretty dysfunctional. My mom tries to make up for her faults, so I speak to her. I have zero contact with my father by choice. It will stay that way.

The older I get, the closer I get to my Mother, as I grow in my understanding in who and what a Mother is. I've never met my father. I only know what my Mother has told me, which isn't anything good

I've tried to find out about my father through learning about myself, but it only leads me back to my origin, which is my Mother lol

my mum is a darling, i love her dearly.. everything a good mum should be, but my dad does my melon.. he left the family many years ago, when we were kids for some old sort, we never accepted her in to our lives & he can't accept it, he's a cranky old sod. I actually pity him nowdays, he's missed out on a lot to prevent shit with his nasty bitch missus!

Dad died in 94, at age 55, and mother died august 7th, 2013, at age 68.

Over the years I had problems with both of my parents(for various reasons). My Dad was abusive but my mom was overall, a sweetheart.

Now that I'm almost 50 years old, i love, forgive, and miss them both.


Especially my mother....

keep contact. rebuild bridges and mend fences. you never know when you will lose one. same goes for any family or friend.

Recently, it was my birhtday and both my parents asked if they could visit me.

That was very special to me. My dad was first and we had a great day. We went to a museum together and then had a great Vietnamese lunch with cocktails. My 41st was the first birthday we were together since I turned 6.


What I apreciate about my parents is that they now (sort of) start to realize how severely they screwed up my childhood. Now that they can talk about it a bit, and even apologize sometimes, I start to learn how it feels to actually have parents who love me and are supporting me.


The fact that they are willing, within their means, to reflect on themselves has meant so much for me. It helped me to get more grounded and feel secure.


And of course, I can look at them now from an adult point of view. I realize that my mother has her own issues and that her getting angry at me, yelling at me or making degrading remarks, are a reflection of her state of mind. I don't take that personally anymore. I'm just very clear about my boundaries. I now can sort of love her, because I can see trough her bad stuf and also see what a great, original, independent, strong, honest, goodhearted, humerous, inventive and creative woman she is.


And they teach me that you'r never too old to learn and grow. I apreciate them more than ever, and they enrich my life nowadays.


It's something I am very thankful for and I'm aware that not many people can go trough a process like that with their parents. My parents went from neglect to love. And I went from a distant, very closed child to more open and affectionate (within my means).

ThisOne said:

For the first time in my life I feel like I am connecting to mine and sort of understand them Over the years we have clashed as they r extremely old fashioned and religious and we have never seen eye to eye But since my divorce I have found them to b caring and understanding and even loving Throughout my whole childhood I never once felt that from them but now I actually do I think old age has opened their eyes and minds

I'm still so happy for you that you got that divorce.

And how you managed yourself and your children after that, is amazing.

You really worked hard to grow and I hope you are very proud of your self for that.

PurpleJedi said:

ThisOne said:

For the first time in my life I feel like I am connecting to mine and sort of understand them Over the years we have clashed as they r extremely old fashioned and religious and we have never seen eye to eye But since my divorce I have found them to b caring and understanding and even loving Throughout my whole childhood I never once felt that from them but now I actually do I think old age has opened their eyes and minds

PJ has great parents.


I love it how they were so involved when you came to Amsterdam. BTW, last time my dad cycled on his bike, he asks how you are doing. He was very glad that you and I had such a nice time in Amsterdam and he loves the story of how you cycled around and somebody asked you for directions!

dJJ said:

PurpleJedi said:

PJ has great parents.


I love it how they were so involved when you came to Amsterdam. BTW, last time my dad cycled on his bike, he asks how you are doing. He was very glad that you and I had such a nice time in Amsterdam and he loves the story of how you cycled around and somebody asked you for directions!

The best trip of my life!

Mom is very overprotective, and neurotic to a degree. If I hadn't checked in every now & then, she would've stayed awake at nights thinking I'd fallen into a canal and drowned!

When I was younger I really disliked her for it...but now as a parent myself, I understand more WHY she did what she did, ...and even though to some degree her neurocism held me back from many things, at the end of the day she and my dad are loving parents who sacrificed many things in their own lives in order to provide me and my brother with as normal and wholesome life as they could.

BTW - when you had Vietnamese with your dad...was it at "our" spot???

Empress said:

I had/have wonderful parents. My mom passed away almost 4 years ago, but my Dad is still alive at 83. They were married for 60 years. Both worked very hard, and gave us a great life, took us on vacations and helped us buy our first homes etc. Wonderful grandparents too. Took on much more than they should've because of my brother's lack of parenting. Very supportive and loving.

You are blessed.

PurpleJedi said:

dJJ said:

BTW - when you had Vietnamese with your dad...was it at "our" spot???

Yes, I'm addicted to that place.

my parents? hardworking, but unfortunately psychologically messed-up individuals, both of them

some shit my sisters and me have endured over the years...

dJJ said:

PurpleJedi said:

BTW - when you had Vietnamese with your dad...was it at "our" spot???

Yes, I'm addicted to that place.