I mean I'm only 23 and have a lot of time. But I'm more terrified to bring a kid into the world every day. Literally everyday i hear about kids murdered, raped, hurt, left in hot cars, killed in war etc. And babies... fucking babies are molested. What kind of sick piece of useless dog shit does that? and people on my facebook love to post that shit. I'll be on break at work and see it. Check my FB and someone posts ''OMG'' then there's an article about a toddler sexually molested.

I often wonder why people keep re-posting those. Is it for shock value? the fuck. I'm just frustrated at how sick some people can be. I mean a baby! isn't even safe from murders and rapist. I used to wonder how parents could be so protective of kids. And never let them go out very much. Now i kind of understand...

Don't be afraid. It's awesome.

I decided, a long time ago, that I don't WANT to have children, I'm 29 now, been THINKING about it since I was 18 at least; this may sound freudinian, but I think I AM my own kid...

when I settle down ( IF I settle down) I'll look for a woman who doesn't want children either, simple as that...

RodeoSchro said:

Don't be afraid. It's awesome.

Do you worry a lot about your kids? i know there older now. But did you every worry about these things? or about letting them go out on their own?

JoeTyler said:

I decided, a long time ago, that I don't WANT to have children, I'm 29 now, been THINKING about it since I was 18 at least; this may sound freudinian, but I think I AM my own kid...

when I settle down ( IF I settle down) I'll look for a woman who doesn't want children either, simple as that...

What if a kid accidently happens

I feel the same way Guns.

Dearest Christian, I'm So Very Sorry for Bringing You Here. Love, Dad

Why can't I keep you from the cold?
You seem to know the different faces
No matter what road you travel on
You go through the darkest places

I can't tell the angels
It'll be good for you, oh, babe
Wanting to say
Blessed be the darkness
For bringing the light through
But I'd be lying to myself

I had no right
Bringing you here
Knowing what I know
Feeling the way I feel, baby

I had no right
Being so uncontented
Being so confused
Being so not for you
Not for you, babe

You're in love with all that you don't know
Animates your expectations
What's the easiest way to hurt a man?
Give him all he's ever wanted

I'm trying to tell the angels
I don't know what to do, oh, baby
Convincing myself to believe
All the sadness, have purpose too
Makes me hate this, oh, no

I had no right
Bringing you here
Knowing what I know
Feeling the way I feel, baby

I had no right
Being so uncontented
Being so confused
Being so not for you

Not for you
So, so, so, so
Not for you, babe

When you asked the angels
To make you a better you, oh, baby
Dream all you want
'Cause all the light you occupy
They will try and take it all from you

I had no right, baby
Bringing you here
Knowing what I know
Feeling the way I feel, baby

I had no right
Being so uncontented
Being so confused, baby
Being so not for you

Read more: PM Dawn - I Had No Right ...etroLyrics

[Edited 9/10/14 17:14pm]

hausofmoi7 said:

I feel the same way Guns.

Dearest Christian, I'm So Very Sorry for Bringing You Here. Love, Dad

Why can't I keep you from the cold?
You seem to know the different faces
No matter what road you travel on
You go through the darkest places

I can't tell the angels
It'll be good for you, oh, babe
Wanting to say
Blessed be the darkness
For bringing the light through
But I'd be lying to myself

I had no right
Bringing you here
Knowing what I know
Feeling the way I feel, baby

I had no right
Being so uncontented
Being so confused
Being so not for you
Not for you, babe

You're in love with all that you don't know
Animates your expectations
What's the easiest way to hurt a man?
Give him all he's ever wanted

I'm trying to tell the angels
I don't know what to do, oh, baby
Convincing myself to believe
All the sadness, have purpose too
Makes me hate this, oh, no

I had no right
Bringing you here
Knowing what I know
Feeling the way I feel, baby

I had no right
Being so uncontented
Being so confused
Being so not for you

Not for you
So, so, so, so
Not for you, babe

When you asked the angels
To make you a better you, oh, baby
Dream all you want
'Cause all the light you occupy
They will try and take it all from you

I had no right, baby
Bringing you here
Knowing what I know
Feeling the way I feel, baby

I had no right
Being so uncontented
Being so confused, baby
Being so not for you

Read more: PM Dawn - I Had No Right ...etroLyrics

[Edited 9/10/14 17:14pm]

Never heard that PM Dawn song! but i love it going to put it on my ipod.

Gunsnhalen said:

JoeTyler said:

I decided, a long time ago, that I don't WANT to have children, I'm 29 now, been THINKING about it since I was 18 at least; this may sound freudinian, but I think I AM my own kid...

when I settle down ( IF I settle down) I'll look for a woman who doesn't want children either, simple as that...

What if a kid accidently happens

then I'd give my best to become a sensitive, sensible, responsible father

Gunsnhalen said:

RodeoSchro said:

Don't be afraid. It's awesome.

Do you worry a lot about your kids? i know there older now. But did you every worry about these things? or about letting them go out on their own?

Not very much, but we live in a great neighborhood. But we certainly kept our eyes on them. We sure didn't take their safety for granted and fortunately, we never had any issues.

One good thing about cell phones is how you can keep tabs on kids. When ours started riding bicycles to their friends' homes, they had to call us when they arrived. And they had to call us when they were leaving. That took a lot of worry away.

Abuse tends to happen when you are not around....

so plan to raise your kids and be very hands on, and they will be fine.

Now a days people like to live above their means and work long hours and the kids are always with a sitter, club, school, nursery, etc.

Parents see their kids when they wake them up, and again to before they go to bed... maybe they see their kids for what? Two hours minus sleep time? That's a lot of time in a day for shit to happen, particulary if the child is still a newborn at a daycare center and can not speak.

Many parents get sitter for the babies as young as one month old, or younger.... all depends on the hustle.


The more time you are WITH your kids, the more time you have to actually rear them and guide them, because when someone else is doing the rearing, much can go wrong and the child just won't listen to you.


Kids aren't dumb and they will listen to who they feel cares about them. Be there.

OR you could always adopt shelter animals... they need love too. Make your own brand of happy yanno?

Once your kids is born, life as you know it is over

Actually the greatest miracle ever

JoeTyler said:

I decided, a long time ago, that I don't WANT to have children, I'm 29 now, been THINKING about it since I was 18 at least; this may sound freudinian, but I think I AM my own kid...

when I settle down ( IF I settle down) I'll look for a woman who doesn't want children either, simple as that...

I knew in my early 20s I didn't want to be a father. Thirty years later I don't regret my decision one bit. It's a big emotional and financial responsibility. Some folks aren't cut out to be parents - I'm one of them. Besides, I'd never bring a black child into such a hate-filled world.

[Edited 9/11/14 0:51am]

paintedlady said:

Abuse tends to happen when you are not around....

so plan to raise your kids and be very hands on, and they will be fine.

Now a days people like to live above their means and work long hours and the kids are always with a sitter, club, school, nursery, etc.

Parents see their kids when they wake them up, and again to before they go to bed... maybe they see their kids for what? Two hours minus sleep time? That's a lot of time in a day for shit to happen, particulary if the child is still a newborn at a daycare center and can not speak.

Many parents get sitter for the babies as young as one month old, or younger.... all depends on the hustle.


The more time you are WITH your kids, the more time you have to actually rear them and guide them, because when someone else is doing the rearing, much can go wrong and the child just won't listen to you.


Kids aren't dumb and they will listen to who they feel cares about them. Be there.

OR you could always adopt shelter animals... they need love too. Make your own brand of happy yanno?

this is a great post

i'm not gonna lie... i have a 2 and a 4 year old and i get scared sometimes... the world is a crazy place... but there's also a lot of beauty... i try to expose them to the latter as much as possible

uPtoWnNY said:

JoeTyler said:

I decided, a long time ago, that I don't WANT to have children, I'm 29 now, been THINKING about it since I was 18 at least; this may sound freudinian, but I think I AM my own kid...

when I settle down ( IF I settle down) I'll look for a woman who doesn't want children either, simple as that...

I knew in my early 20s I didn't want to be a father. Thirty years later I don't regret my decision one bit. It's a big emotional and financial responsibility. Some folks aren't cut out to be parents - I'm one of them. Besides, I'd never bring a black child into such a hate-filled world.

I totally feel you

MoBettaBliss said:

paintedlady said:

Abuse tends to happen when you are not around....

so plan to raise your kids and be very hands on, and they will be fine.

Now a days people like to live above their means and work long hours and the kids are always with a sitter, club, school, nursery, etc.

Parents see their kids when they wake them up, and again to before they go to bed... maybe they see their kids for what? Two hours minus sleep time? That's a lot of time in a day for shit to happen, particulary if the child is still a newborn at a daycare center and can not speak.

Many parents get sitter for the babies as young as one month old, or younger.... all depends on the hustle.


The more time you are WITH your kids, the more time you have to actually rear them and guide them, because when someone else is doing the rearing, much can go wrong and the child just won't listen to you.


Kids aren't dumb and they will listen to who they feel cares about them. Be there.

OR you could always adopt shelter animals... they need love too. Make your own brand of happy yanno?

this is a great post

i'm not gonna lie... i have a 2 and a 4 year old and i get scared sometimes... the world is a crazy place... but there's also a lot of beauty... i try to expose them to the latter as much as possible

I have a 23 year old son... I made mistakes with him and my second child working all the time, where stuff happened. Sometimes it's not avoidable because parents need to work to pay bills.

By the time I had my 3rd child and it became apparent that I was going to be a single parent, I made the decision to live leaner because I would have no one to watch them for me because I couldn't afford the childcare expenses. It was a hard pill to swallow... but staying home and living leaner proved to be very rewarding for me... I will always recommend a parent to spend as much time as they can with their children, the time flew by and now my kids are older... ten years just went by so quickly. Its amazing.

Some people are blessed to have a circle of decent people around them where children will be very safe so parents are able to set up a better system for their family to work and travel.... in a good scenario it works well. For me, not so much, but a good attitude going into any situation always helps matters.


I am glad you are enjoying time spent with your children, because they do grow up so quickly! You are right that there is so much beauty in the world, sometimes its the little joys, the giggles, the simple moments in life that make raising kids so wonderful.

Things like.... getting icecream from the icecreamtruck , baking, watergun fights, farting, playing games, dancing, counting the moments when you hear thunderstrikes under the blanket fort in the living room, etc. can really bring out the giggles and the pure joy in the simple spontaneus moments that make you feel like a kid again.

Think of all the idiots out there having kids. Or the ones who had kids by accident. Or the ones who were way too young to know what they were doing and got pregnant. And they get congratulated for it. Meanwhile, when smart well-meaning people decide not to have kids, nobody throws a party for them. Society seems not to value them. These days I have more respect for people who decide not to have kids. Because, let's face it - anyone can release their sperm into a woman and get her pregnant. And any woman can sit there and let it happen. But how many of them actually know how best to raise a child or even prepare for it? Having kids in life is just one experience you can have, but there are many others to choose from.

I think having children is selfish if you're not ready or too scared, and being self-aware is a good thing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But don't let the fear factor and this state of angst towards the world (and we've all been there) get in the way of what can change later on in life when you least expect it either. 23 years old, you're still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. We can't completely protect people from this world, and it's a scary one out there, but with wisdom, knowledge and life experiences, one can learn to empower their children, and teach them self-respect, manners, educate them treating people well and healthy boundaries early in life, self-defense and teaching male children it's not okay to hit a girl or hurt anybody, and teaching problem solving skills verbally, which is what most people lack. It's valuable later in life what they can learn from parents and family as opposed to letting tv, social media and peers teach them, if only parents made an effort to better themselves before even bothering to have kids.

[Edited 9/11/14 6:26am]

paintedlady said:

Only now that my kids are in the realm of teenagers am I REALLY getting worried about shit.

I look at my daughter & how she's growing into a beautiful young woman, and suddenly when she tells me that she wants to walk down to Dunkin Donuts I get nervous, when she wants to go to the mall I get nervous, when she is online I get nervous.

I'm very much afraid of what's out there, but I have to just trust that all the talks and the wholesome upbringing will be enough to keep her from looking for trouble.

As for the knuckleheads out there causing trouble? There's nothing you can do about that. Just try to keep them from running INTO trouble (monitor who they hang out with, where they go, what they do - as best you can of course) and keep reinforcing positive values.

And of course, be their PARENT FIRST. They have plenty of friends.

I never had any children because 1) I didn't want to have a child out of wedlock and and 2) I didn't want to be a single parent. Yes, I understand that even having a child while married did not guarantee I would not end up a single mother eventually. I saw the trials of raising children from friends and coworkers. I don't regret not having children. Sure, they can be a joy, but raising them with love and guidance doesn't always guarentee they would not end up breaking your heart.

3rdeyedude said:

Think of all the idiots out there having kids. Or the ones who had kids by accident. Or the ones who were way too young to know what they were doing and got pregnant. And they get congratulated for it. Meanwhile, when smart well-meaning people decide not to have kids, nobody throws a party for them. Society seems not to value them. These days I have more respect for people who decide not to have kids. Because, let's face it - anyone can release their sperm into a woman and get her pregnant. And any woman can sit there and let it happen. But how many of them actually know how best to raise a child or even prepare for it? Having kids in life is just one experience you can have, but there are many others to choose from.

THIS.

You know how times I've heard "what's wrong with you?" for not wanting kids, mostly from relatives. And I'm a guy....I bet women who feel like me get more crap.

[Edited 9/11/14 8:24am]

I declared I didn't want to have children in high school. Mostly I don't want to or maybe afraid of going through the process of being pregnant with possible health risks for mother and/or child. I'm not married and I definitely don't want to raise a child solo, especially since it's not financially feasible. Luckily, there is no pressure on me, maybe other people can tell I'm not motherly material, but I think I'm a decent auntie. Other than wanting to name a child, the desire to have one has never been comparable to the desire of wanting a cat. lol!

It's silly to be afraid to have them but not having children is an excellent choice to make.

Well said PJ.

I was nervous about havig a baby; I thought I wouldn't have the patience.

I didn't know how important a role my parents, my siblings / spouses, in-laws, and extended family would play in being a support system for us. I am so grateful. My husband tripped like PurpleJedi when our daughter hit her teenage years. You hope that your kids think and use the tools you've taught them to navigate this thing called life. I recall my mohers advice /wisdom when I was in a tight and needed guidance, just as I remember when I ignored her advice / wisdom and fell on my ass. I'd hope our daughter would be able do the same....

The danger and evil that's out there? Hopefully, she has the tools to cope with that as much as any person can. Yeah some people need a baby like they needed a hole in the head, but some kids are born jerks and they will die as jerks... their parents aren't at fault.

uPtoWnNY said:

3rdeyedude said:

Think of all the idiots out there having kids. Or the ones who had kids by accident. Or the ones who were way too young to know what they were doing and got pregnant. And they get congratulated for it. Meanwhile, when smart well-meaning people decide not to have kids, nobody throws a party for them. Society seems not to value them. These days I have more respect for people who decide not to have kids. Because, let's face it - anyone can release their sperm into a woman and get her pregnant. And any woman can sit there and let it happen. But how many of them actually know how best to raise a child or even prepare for it? Having kids in life is just one experience you can have, but there are many others to choose from.

THIS.

You know how times I've heard "what's wrong with you?" for not wanting kids, mostly from relatives. And I'm a guy....I bet women who feel like me get more crap.

[Edited 9/11/14 8:24am]

You know it. When I was about 25, a coworker told me I was selfish for not having kids. I told her, "No. I am not selfish. I knew enough to practice birth control to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Look at yourself. You had your first kid when you were 16 and you've been catching hell ever since. Just because I kept my draws up did not make me selfish. It made me smart."

Shyra said:

uPtoWnNY said:

THIS.

You know how times I've heard "what's wrong with you?" for not wanting kids, mostly from relatives. And I'm a guy....I bet women who feel like me get more crap.

[Edited 9/11/14 8:24am]

You know it. When I was about 25, a coworker told me I was selfish for not having kids. I told her, "No. I am not selfish. I knew enough to practice birth control to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Look at yourself. You had your first kid when you were 16 and you've been catching hell ever since. Just because I kept my draws up did not make me selfish. It made me smart."

Super smart.....in my book.

TD3 said:

Well said PJ.

I was nervous about havig a baby; I thought I wouldn't have the patience.

I didn't know how important a role my parents, my siblings / spouses, in-laws, and extended family would play in being a support system for us. I am so grateful. My husband tripped like PurpleJedi when our daughter hit her teenage years. You hope that your kids think and use the tools you've taught them to navigate this thing called life. I recall my mohers advice /wisdom when I was in a tight and needed guidance, just as I remember when I ignored her advice / wisdom and fell on my ass. I'd hope our daughter would be able do the same....

The danger and evil that's out there? Hopefully, she has the tools to cope with that as much as any person can. Yeah some people need a baby like they needed a hole in the head, but some kids are born jerks and they will die as jerks... their parents aren't at fault.

RodeoSchro said:

Don't be afraid. It's awesome.

[Edited 9/11/14 10:54am]