it's so hard to sit and look at my wife so sad, she wont see a doctor and wont take medication... she says she'll work through on her own. I know every smile and every "i'm ok" is fake just to make me feel better..

I dont know what to do, my heart is aching knowing other than being supportive, there's nothing i can do... I dont want my sadness to affect her.. i just love her so much...

Dalia11 said:

avasdad said:

it's so hard to sit and look at my wife so sad, she wont see a doctor and wont take medication... she says she'll work through on her own. I know every smile and every "i'm ok" is fake just to make me feel better..

I dont know what to do, my heart is aching knowing other than being supportive, there's nothing i can do... I dont want my sadness to affect her.. i just love her so much...

I am so sorry.

As someone who also just tells people "I'm ok" I would like ot believe you can trust her when she says she'll work through it on her own. Go to her though, and make her promise you, even if she has to put it in writing, that she will get help if it gets to be too much.

I wish this best for both of you.

I know how she feels, but she should talk to someone, preferably a therapist or medical doctor. She should also get a physical examination to make sure there is nothing going on physically that could cause her depression. Is she taking any kind of medication that could exacerbate her depression? I remember when I was diagnosed with hypertension I was prescribed a medication that caused me to become suicidal. As soon as I told my physician how I was feeling, he said, "Oh, I know exactly what it is. It's the Lasix." As soon as I stopped taking that shit, I felt 100% better. I do hope she gets help for her sake and yours. God bless.

Depression is so complex. I've been married for 23 years and my husband has suffered with depression and anxiety for almost all of it. There's no cookie-cutter method for dealing with it. I CAN tell you what did not work for me throughout all the hard times.

1) Getting mad at him when he was in one of his "moods."

2) Acting dismissive towards his feelings when he was trying to talk to me.

3) Giving endless, un-asked for advice.

What DID work:

1) Finally getting on medication and sticking with it. The difference is night and day.

2) Listening with a sympathetic ear.

3) Exercise. I'm not kidding. When he was really feeling desperately bad, I could sometimes manage to get him out for a walk in the park and he actually would say he could feel his mood lifting a bit.

My husband does see a counselor and a psychiatrist, but it is mainly for the medicine prescriptions. Talking out his problems never really seemed to help him. His mental problems seriously are in his head, meaning his brain chemicals are messed up. That's why the meds are helping him so much.

Unfortunately, with pyschiatric drugs, it sometimes is trial and error with finding the right combination of meds. My husband is currently taking zyprexa and Wellbutrin. He takes klonopin when his anxiety is at maximum levels.

I've battled it for years. I've done it all...medication, doctors, exercise. I can't say any of it helped me. Everyone is different but nothing really improved for me until I got my spiritual life in order. That's when I saw major improvements.

Also, many people who suffer from depression would be surprised at how much better they would feel by deleting certain foods from their diets (particularly wheat and sugar). It may not work for everyone but it will work for some. I believe more in at least attempting to treat depression/anxiety naturally rather than depending on medications because, although often time drugs are necessary, they can cause long-term, irreversable damage.

How old is she? (Serious question.)

avasdad said:

it's so hard to sit and look at my wife so sad, she wont see a doctor and wont take medication... she says she'll work through on her own. I know every smile and every "i'm ok" is fake just to make me feel better..

I dont know what to do, my heart is aching knowing other than being supportive, there's nothing i can do... I dont want my sadness to affect her.. i just love her so much...

Check this Depression discussion out http://prince.org/msg/100/409708 - There might be some valuable information.

avasdad said:

it's so hard to sit and look at my wife so sad, she wont see a doctor and wont take medication... she says she'll work through on her own. I know every smile and every "i'm ok" is fake just to make me feel better..

I dont know what to do, my heart is aching knowing other than being supportive, there's nothing i can do... I dont want my sadness to affect her.. i just love her so much...

I am praying for you and your wife. Please keep your head up and keep her talking......

[Edited 8/18/14 17:29pm]

i feel for you. you are facing a hard situation. i would try to be open to discussing the topic of depression when she feels ready, but not force her to speak on it if she isn't ready. for you, you could try getting some counseling to find out how to address this. wishing you luck and love

I agree with what was said about ruling out physical causes first. Though medication is needed, I agree some of it can cause worse feelings, it happened to me years ago. Have her try talk therapy and try to do exercise, yoga or get more vitamin d first and see if that makes a difference. What is her life like? Is she working or did something stress related happen recently? Going to a therapist first before a psychiatrist would be a good idea from experience to figure out an action plan.

[Edited 8/19/14 5:46am]

SuzyHomemaker said:

3) Exercise. I'm not kidding. When he was really feeling desperately bad, I could sometimes manage to get him out for a walk in the park and he actually would say he could feel his mood lifting a bit.

Cannot emphasize this enough, although for serious depression it is difficult to even get out of bed to brush one's teeth. I think one reason exercise feels good is because of the accomplishment of motivating oneself. So, it should be understood if the motivation isn't there, but also rewarded/recognized when it happens.

[Edited 8/19/14 17:31pm]

[Edited 8/19/14 20:06pm]

kitbradley said:

I've battled it for years. I've done it all...medication, doctors, exercise. I can't say any of it helped me. Everyone is different but nothing really improved for me until I got my spiritual life in order. That's when I saw major improvements.

Also, many people who suffer from depression would be surprised at how much better they would feel by deleting certain foods from their diets (particularly wheat and sugar). It may not work for everyone but it will work for some. I believe more in at least attempting to treat depression/anxiety naturally rather than depending on medications because, although often time drugs are necessary, they can cause long-term, irreversable damage.

For the percentage of the population (and it's larger than you think) that have undiagnosed celiac, sometimes the symptoms don't include digestive issues and can manifest in depression and schizophrenia (amongst other things). Reducing added sugar (think processed food, sodas etc) will help hormones normalise. Both are a good idea and don't hurt to try out - can take around 4 weeks to see a difference.

ZombieKitten said:

kitbradley said:

I've battled it for years. I've done it all...medication, doctors, exercise. I can't say any of it helped me. Everyone is different but nothing really improved for me until I got my spiritual life in order. That's when I saw major improvements.

Also, many people who suffer from depression would be surprised at how much better they would feel by deleting certain foods from their diets (particularly wheat and sugar). It may not work for everyone but it will work for some. I believe more in at least attempting to treat depression/anxiety naturally rather than depending on medications because, although often time drugs are necessary, they can cause long-term, irreversable damage.

For the percentage of the population (and it's larger than you think) that have undiagnosed celiac, sometimes the symptoms don't include digestive issues and can manifest in depression and schizophrenia (amongst other things). Reducing added sugar (think processed food, sodas etc) will help hormones normalise. Both are a good idea and don't hurt to try out - can take around 4 weeks to see a difference.

I like your nutrition posts. They are slowly making me reconsider some of my choices.

Cinny said:

SuzyHomemaker said:

Depression is so complex. I've been married for 23 years and my husband has suffered with depression and anxiety for almost all of it. There's no cookie-cutter method for dealing with it. I CAN tell you what did not work for me throughout all the hard times.

1) Getting mad at him when he was in one of his "moods."

2) Acting dismissive towards his feelings when he was trying to talk to me.

3) Giving endless, un-asked for advice.

What DID work:

1) Finally getting on medication and sticking with it. The difference is night and day.

2) Listening with a sympathetic ear.

3) Exercise. I'm not kidding. When he was really feeling desperately bad, I could sometimes manage to get him out for a walk in the park and he actually would say he could feel his mood lifting a bit.

My husband does see a counselor and a psychiatrist, but it is mainly for the medicine prescriptions. Talking out his problems never really seemed to help him. His mental problems seriously are in his head, meaning his brain chemicals are messed up. That's why the meds are helping him so much.

Unfortunately, with pyschiatric drugs, it sometimes is trial and error with finding the right combination of meds. My husband is currently taking zyprexa and Wellbutrin. He takes klonopin when his anxiety is at maximum levels.

Best answer/comment I've seen to a discussion on depression... most certainly the highlighted bit... Bang on


I had clinical depression for many years, Thankfully I've been free of it for quite some time now... though I have my "moments" and this answer is on the money

ZombieKitten said:

kitbradley said:

I've battled it for years. I've done it all...medication, doctors, exercise. I can't say any of it helped me. Everyone is different but nothing really improved for me until I got my spiritual life in order. That's when I saw major improvements.

Also, many people who suffer from depression would be surprised at how much better they would feel by deleting certain foods from their diets (particularly wheat and sugar). It may not work for everyone but it will work for some. I believe more in at least attempting to treat depression/anxiety naturally rather than depending on medications because, although often time drugs are necessary, they can cause long-term, irreversable damage.

For the percentage of the population (and it's larger than you think) that have undiagnosed celiac, sometimes the symptoms don't include digestive issues and can manifest in depression and schizophrenia (amongst other things). Reducing added sugar (think processed food, sodas etc) will help hormones normalise. Both are a good idea and don't hurt to try out - can take around 4 weeks to see a difference.

http://chriskresser.com/i...flammation

reading more and more stuff like this

it must be heartbreaking for you.. she needs assessment so eithed frogmarch her down to the docs or frogmarch the doc to your house! she needs professional help.

act soon & good luck.