I am a Christian (so please find a different thread to berate me on that in a different discussion ok, lol) but I have done a terrible thing. Despite doing all that I could do, praying, ignoring feelings, etc. I have fallen seriously in love with a man that even though I left the church and whatnot I cannot get over this. Nothing ever happened between us physically but we both know that we need to avoid each other. I have begged God to make these feelings go away and it gets worse. I try to keep myself distracted and it doesn't matter. I am still haunted by this guy. I haven't seen this guy in a few months and this feeling gets worse by the minute. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I'm trapped in a haunted house of thoughts of this man because I can't shake him. I don't know what he did to me but it really F'd me up, HELP!!!!!!!

What's the problem though? Are you forbidden to fall in love with him or something? Do you not want to fall in love with him? Why do you want God to take away those feelings? Do you think he disapproves? Are you or him already with someone else? Just going off your initial post, I'm not sure we know what the actual problem is, and thus how we can help.

toejam said:

What's the problem though? Are you forbidden to fall in love with him or something? Do you not want to fall in love with him? Why do you want God to take away those feelings? Do you think he disapproves? Are you or him already with someone else? Just going off your initial post, I'm not sure we know what the actual problem is, and thus how we can help.

Because it's the pastor...I'm such a scumbag, I know it

SeventeenDayze said:

Because it's the pastor...I'm such a scumbag, I know it

Are pastors not allowed to fall in love? Why would God command that? Maybe he wants you two to fall in love?

You have created an onion. The more you wish, pray, hope, either positive or negative is the more time you continue to think of this situation. The more you think of the situation the more the mind focuses on him.

If you havent seen him for a few months youre almost over the situation you just need to redirect the mind to something else. To be honest you need to find something repetitive to focus on and yes it gonna sound trivia but take up knitting or something that redirects the mind to a task at hand.

The more you concentrate on wanting to get over him, the more you waste youre time thinking of him.

toejam said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Because it's the pastor...I'm such a scumbag, I know it

Are pastors not allowed to fall in love? Why would God command that? Maybe he wants you two to fall in love?

So, where does that leave the first lady (wife)?

Beautifulstarr123 said:

toejam said:

Are pastors not allowed to fall in love? Why would God command that? Maybe he wants you two to fall in love?

So, where does that leave the first lady (wife)?

Who said he had a wife?

toejam said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

So, where does that leave the first lady (wife)?

Who said he had a wife?

This story was told before in the general discussion thread awhile back.

Beautifulstarr123 said:

toejam said:

Who said he had a wife?

This story was told before in the general discussion thread awhile back.

OK. Thanks for clarifying. That certainly adds another layer of complexity.

Seems fight or flight are the only two options when it boils down to it. And that call can only be made by the OP.

Seventeendaze, you have discussed this pastor awhile back, and you've gotten some good advice from orgers here. It appears that you're not takiing the advice. I know having feelings ain't easy, but consider this. If he leaves the first lady for you, run. Because he can do it to you, and besides, all marriages have their ups and downs. It doesn't mean he's leaving her.

lazycrockett said:

You have created an onion. The more you wish, pray, hope, either positive or negative is the more time you continue to think of this situation. The more you think of the situation the more the mind focuses on him.

If you havent seen him for a few months youre almost over the situation you just need to redirect the mind to something else. To be honest you need to find something repetitive to focus on and yes it gonna sound trivia but take up knitting or something that redirects the mind to a task at hand.

The more you concentrate on wanting to get over him, the more you waste youre time thinking of him.

This is very good practical advice. It won't get him out of your thoughts completely, but it will help and make your soul (heart and mind/brain) more able to withstand. The knitting I don't know tho' lol.

Going to a different church may not be a bad idea either.

By the way, why is in this in P&R?

If the man is married, move on. Otherwise rip this superstitious crap out of your head.

Beautifulstarr123 said:

toejam said:

Who said he had a wife?

This story was told before in the general discussion thread awhile back.

OMG you remembered that, LOL. Yeah she was gone for a while then suddenly reappeared and I swear he was trying to make me jealous because he got jealous when a male friend of mine suddenly came around to church one Sunday and stuff got crazy after that, LOL!

Tremolina said:

By the way, why is in this in P&R?

You beat me to it...why indeed?

babynoz said:

Tremolina said:

By the way, why is in this in P&R?

You beat me to it...why indeed?

I guess because it's about love, sex and relationships.

Tremolina said:

babynoz said:

You beat me to it...why indeed?

I guess because it's about love, sex and relationships.

Well I guess it's because it's about religion as well. Oh and who said I wasn't taking the advice? A lot of you told me a while back to leave and I did but I am still batshit crazy about this dude and it's not getting better! LOL!

SeventeenDayze said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

This story was told before in the general discussion thread awhile back.

OMG you remembered that, LOL. Yeah she was gone for a while then suddenly reappeared and I swear he was trying to make me jealous because he got jealous when a male friend of mine suddenly came around to church one Sunday and stuff got crazy after that, LOL!

Stuff got crazy at the church? What happened

Beautifulstarr123 said:

SeventeenDayze said:

OMG you remembered that, LOL. Yeah she was gone for a while then suddenly reappeared and I swear he was trying to make me jealous because he got jealous when a male friend of mine suddenly came around to church one Sunday and stuff got crazy after that, LOL!

Stuff got crazy at the church? What happened

Well basically....a lawsuit, LOL.

Embrace the feelings you are trying to escape. Fighting them only gives them more power. The only way out is through. And you may discover something interesting on the other side.

ConsciousContact said:

Embrace the feelings you are trying to escape. Fighting them only gives them more power. The only way out is through. And you may discover something interesting on the other side.

Yeah I think you're right but when I do that, it makes me even crazier about him. This feels like mental illness of some sort, LOL. It's like I cannot rest until I get this guy out of my mind for good, LOL!

SeventeenDayze said:

ConsciousContact said:

Embrace the feelings you are trying to escape. Fighting them only gives them more power. The only way out is through. And you may discover something interesting on the other side.

Yeah I think you're right but when I do that, it makes me even crazier about him. This feels like mental illness of some sort, LOL. It's like I cannot rest until I get this guy out of my mind for good, LOL!

what is it that he invokes in you? What qualities are you experiencing because of your desire for him?

^

hornyness.

V10LETBLUES said:

^

hornyness.

Tremolina said:

Going to a different church may not be a bad idea either.

SeventeenDayze said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

Stuff got crazy at the church? What happened

Well basically....a lawsuit, LOL.

Wow

Beautifulstarr123 said:

Tremolina said:

Going to a different church may not be a bad idea either.

You guys are killing me! I left that church months ago! And whoever said hornyness is only partially right. He's a nice looking guy, early 40s, amazing hair and he's my type in a lot of other ways. There's always been an intense attraction from the first time I saw him. I didn't even say hello to this guy or go near him for a year because I was scared to death of how I felt. It was that overwhelming...

SeventeenDayze said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

You guys are killing me! I left that church months ago! And whoever said hornyness is only partially right. He's a nice looking guy, early 40s, amazing hair and he's my type in a lot of other ways. There's always been an intense attraction from the first time I saw him. I didn't even say hello to this guy or go near him for a year because I was scared to death of how I felt. It was that overwhelming...

He's married?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

SeventeenDayze said:

You guys are killing me! I left that church months ago! And whoever said hornyness is only partially right. He's a nice looking guy, early 40s, amazing hair and he's my type in a lot of other ways. There's always been an intense attraction from the first time I saw him. I didn't even say hello to this guy or go near him for a year because I was scared to death of how I felt. It was that overwhelming...

He's married?

Well, I'm not really sure if he is or not but that didn't make it any easier to not have this attraction for this dude. It's killing me. I haven't seen him in months and it's worse now more than ever. I hate what this guy has done to my mind, LOL!