Ottensen said:

JustErin said:

No, some people who go to church church goers are 10000000000000000000x more judgemental.

There, Darlin', fixed it for ya

All joking aside, though, I don't think judgement is only practiced by church goers. There is no one identity or thought pattern that can be attributed to Christians because we're all different. I know that sounds hard to believe, but...outside of accepting that Christ is Lord and Savior, pffft.... we differ a lot on how we view the world....a lot

[Edited 11/14/12 9:51am]

Don't edit my post! That's my opinion!

And I didn't say it was only practiced by churchies. And imo, most of y'all (churchies - which to me is different than just being a Christian) are really not all that different.

PDogz said:

paintedlady said:

You never know who is watching you, quietly... a mother/aunt/sister of a good man who may introduce you if they think you are a great candidate for their family member.

I myself stopped shopping for men in the church LONG ago, but that is because I am a single mother of 3.

Most men in my church community were either "formerly-gay" or had one foot out of a half-way house and still on probation. All good men, despite their hardships... but I had children and that dynamic would be tough on men who were in the midst of great change and vulnerability. I just wasn't "date-able".

I applaud your insight.

I had to learn to take a hard and HONEST look at my situation. I gained peace from it. I stopped stressing and wanting things I really didn't need, and I still found what I wanted.

My situation is far from perfect (or "fixed" ) but I have what I asked for, and I keep working on the situation to make it better. Love can come in many ways, just have to be in a proper space emotionally to attract it.

dJJ said:

Ah, so the male population in a church is not that different than in a pub?

Pretty much... just better dressed and a bit more sober... just a bit though.

People are just people no matter where you go, the scenery may change, but the nature of man is consistent.

Oh wait!...

Ottensen said it better:

The Church is comprised of just just everyday people....

The Church really is just a make up of the people in the community... my community was a bit rougher than others since I live in a city. The members of Churches in the burbs are "less complicated" IMO.

The Church is simply where many come to heal and be re-newed. So many who are broken come.

[Edited 11/14/12 10:36am]

paintedlady said:

PDogz said:

I applaud your insight.

I had to learn to take a hard and HONEST look at my situation. I gained peace from it.

We could all stand to gain from following that approach.

PDogz said:

paintedlady said:

I had to learn to take a hard and HONEST look at my situation. I gained peace from it.

We could all stand to gain from following that approach.

JustErin said:

Ottensen said:

There, Darlin', fixed it for ya

All joking aside, though, I don't think judgement is only practiced by church goers. There is no one identity or thought pattern that can be attributed to Christians because we're all different. I know that sounds hard to believe, but...outside of accepting that Christ is Lord and Savior, pffft.... we differ a lot on how we view the world....a lot

[Edited 11/14/12 9:51am]

Don't edit my post! That's my opinion!

And I didn't say it was only practiced by churchies. And imo, most of y'all (churchies - which to me is different than just being a Christian) are really not all that different.

But then, I would ask in your view, what does it mean to "just be a Christian" to you? It sounds as if just being a Christian to you means someone who has professed Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, but choose not to take part in corporate worship. Am I far off with that, or...?

Listen, Boobles- I understand where you're coming from..but even within churchies there's a difference between people who just attend and get something superficial out of it (like the misguided mandate to judge or look down on others), and those who are actively pursuing relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, who learn at some point in their studies of the Word the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness...the latter of which (if one believes in Scripture) there's clear example where Christ had to cuss a few people out about that . I actually like the phrase you coined, churchies - but the negative connotation designated to everyone who happens to attend church regularly is kind of a bummer. Sorry you've met so many jerks who happen be up in church on the regular, but Christianity and those who believe in the phrase "where two or more are gathered.." is just just too diverse (as I've learned from actually being in the church body, in a congregation representing 50+ nations with I don't know how many languages ): it's not fair to paint us all with the same brush.

...and now I shall pout because you're putting me in with the look down your nose churchies.

Ottensen said:

JustErin said:

Don't edit my post! That's my opinion!

And I didn't say it was only practiced by churchies. And imo, most of y'all (churchies - which to me is different than just being a Christian) are really not all that different.

But then, I would ask in your view, what does it mean to "just be a Christian" to you? It sounds as if just being a Christian to you means someone who has professed Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, but choose not to take part in corporate worship. Am I far off with that, or...?

Listen, Boobles- I understand where you're coming from..but even within churchies there's a difference between people who just attend and get something superficial out of it (like the misguided mandate to judge or look down on others), and those who are actively pursuing relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, who learn at some point in their studies of the Word the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness...the latter of which (if one believes in Scripture) there's clear example where Christ had to cuss a few people out about that . I actually like the phrase you coined, churchies - but the negative connotation designated to everyone who happens to attend church regularly is kind of a bummer. Sorry you've met so many jerks who happen be up in church on the regular, but Christianity and those who believe in the phrase "where two or more are gathered.." is just just too diverse (as I've learned from actually being in the church body, in a congregation representing 50+ nations with I don't know how many languages ): it's not fair to paint us all with the same brush.

...and now I shall pout because you're putting me in with the look down your nose churchies.

You're being so serious!

JustErin said:

You're being so serious!

And you seem surprised?

You must know that Christians are VERY serious about their beliefs. It runs deep.

well... for most of us anyways.

I still got some issues I need to work out...

paintedlady said:

JustErin said:

You're being so serious!

And you seem surprised?

You must know that Christians are VERY serious about their beliefs. It runs deep.

well... for most of us anyways.

I still got some issues I need to work out...

I know, I know...

I'm just joking around.

Sorta.

paintedlady said:

Also...

I should add this since I forgot to mention it....

You are in a church, a community of people who are taught to help one another.

You never know who is watching you, quietly... a mother/aunt/sister of a good man who may introduce you if they think you are a great candidate for their family member.

You just never know... in churches these things do happen. So even though the wait is tough, and you said your hormones do not go on "vacation", you should consider re-eastablishing your commitment to God and just focus your efforts and your mind on the work in God's house.

Your character will show through as an honest and hard working woman and maybe even the wife of that minister or a mother in the church may introduce you to an un-married man of God.

Patience is the hardest part. I myself stopped shopping for men in the church LONG ago, but that is because I am a single mother of 3.

Most men in my church community were either "formerly-gay" or had one foot out of a half-way house and still on probation. All good men, despite their hardships... but I had children and that dynamic would be tough on men who were in the midst of great change and vulnerability. I just wasn't "date-able".

You are not a mother yet, your situation is less complicated in comparison, so do not worry...that good man will come your way once you focus on your journey and others see it.

Yeah I guess part of the issue is that I'm not the type who likes to meet guys at bars and I've done so many of those stupid "Meetup" events that it's not even funny. I can't just sit around at home and watch paint dry but if it's important to meet a nice guy who believes in God, it makes sense to leave myself open to guys at church right?

Well, the last time I saw this guy, there was no question at all he was checking me out and the first time he was up giving the sermon and made eye contact with me, he started to stutter for a minute until he looked away and kept it moving... LOL...

But I know what you mean about the guys in church being "formerly gay" "rehab" etc, it's tough for sure.

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

Also...

I should add this since I forgot to mention it....

You are in a church, a community of people who are taught to help one another.

You never know who is watching you, quietly... a mother/aunt/sister of a good man who may introduce you if they think you are a great candidate for their family member.

You just never know... in churches these things do happen. So even though the wait is tough, and you said your hormones do not go on "vacation", you should consider re-eastablishing your commitment to God and just focus your efforts and your mind on the work in God's house.

Your character will show through as an honest and hard working woman and maybe even the wife of that minister or a mother in the church may introduce you to an un-married man of God.

Patience is the hardest part. I myself stopped shopping for men in the church LONG ago, but that is because I am a single mother of 3.

Most men in my church community were either "formerly-gay" or had one foot out of a half-way house and still on probation. All good men, despite their hardships... but I had children and that dynamic would be tough on men who were in the midst of great change and vulnerability. I just wasn't "date-able".

You are not a mother yet, your situation is less complicated in comparison, so do not worry...that good man will come your way once you focus on your journey and others see it.

Yeah I guess part of the issue is that I'm not the type who likes to meet guys at bars and I've done so many of those stupid "Meetup" events that it's not even funny. I can't just sit around at home and watch paint dry but if it's important to meet a nice guy who believes in God, it makes sense to leave myself open to guys at church right?

Yes, Pumpkin, but not with your married Pastor.

Well, the last time I saw this guy, there was no question at all he was checking me out and the first time he was up giving the sermon and made eye contact with me, he started to stutter for a minute until he looked away and kept it moving... LOL...

For whatever happened, the key question to ask yourself is, "where is God in this situation?". Period.

But I know what you mean about the guys in church being "formerly gay" "rehab" etc, it's tough for sure.

OldFriends4Sale said:

2.) It could be just business: talking about you in a sermon doesn't mean you have to be friends

It's actually fairly common for a pastor to jokingly insert a church member's name into a bullet point of a topic they are illustrating during a sermon. It lends a feeling of familiarity amongst the entire congregation and is intended to equalize everyone in in each other's sight as they see themselves in the sight of God, usually highlighting something humorous that the entire congregation can relate to to bring his/her point home.

Ottensen said:

OldFriends4Sale said:

2.) It could be just business: talking about you in a sermon doesn't mean you have to be friends

It's actually fairly common for a pastor to jokingly insert a church member's name into a bullet point of a topic they are illustrating during a sermon. It lends a feeling of familiarity amongst the entire congregation and is intended to equalize everyone in in each other's sight as they see themselves in the sight of God, usually highlighting something humorous that the entire congregation can relate to to bring his/her point home.

Moreover, I certainly would not interpret the shout-out as an indication that the pastor wants to "get with" said mentioned member of the congregation. With deference, this woman seems to be obsessing over the attention of men to the detriment of her own dignity and self-respect. It is as if she feels she only has two choices: To be “open” to men at church, or to watch paint dry (...her words, not mine).

Rightly said:

Sounds like he's struggling with the commands of the cock. Quite the little drama.

Yep, the ten cockmandments!

PDogz said:

Ottensen said:

It's actually fairly common for a pastor to jokingly insert a church member's name into a bullet point of a topic they are illustrating during a sermon. It lends a feeling of familiarity amongst the entire congregation and is intended to equalize everyone in in each other's sight as they see themselves in the sight of God, usually highlighting something humorous that the entire congregation can relate to to bring his/her point home.

Moreover, I certainly would not interpret the shout-out as an indication that the pastor wants to "get with" said mentioned member of the congregation. With deference, this woman seems to be obsessing over the attention of men to the detriment of her own dignity and self-respect. It is as if she feels she only has two choices: To be “open” to men at church, or to watch paint dry (...her words, not mine).

Dignity and self-respect? If I were actually sleeping with, flirting with and wrecking relationships, THEN I could see how you could say that but just simply having a crush that has no actions attached to it wouldn't seem to show a lack of dignity on my part. I am quite tame compared to other women that are bonafide homewreckers!

SeventeenDayze said:

PDogz said:

Moreover, I certainly would not interpret the shout-out as an indication that the pastor wants to "get with" said mentioned member of the congregation. With deference, this woman seems to be obsessing over the attention of men to the detriment of her own dignity and self-respect. It is as if she feels she only has two choices: To be “open” to men at church, or to watch paint dry (...her words, not mine).

Dignity and self-respect? If I were actually sleeping with, flirting with and wrecking relationships, THEN I could see how you could say that but just simply having a crush that has no actions attached to it wouldn't seem to show a lack of dignity on my part. I am quite tame compared to other women that are bonafide homewreckers!

I understand now, the frustration others here have expressed while attempting to help you. My apologies for assuming you were genuinely seeking advice. It seems clear that you already have all the answers you need. What a wonderful experience that must be (for you, and those around you).

PDogz said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Dignity and self-respect? If I were actually sleeping with, flirting with and wrecking relationships, THEN I could see how you could say that but just simply having a crush that has no actions attached to it wouldn't seem to show a lack of dignity on my part. I am quite tame compared to other women that are bonafide homewreckers!

I understand now, the frustration others here have expressed while attempting to help you. My apologies for assuming you were genuinely seeking advice. It seems clear that you already have all the answers you need. What a wonderful experience that must be (for you, and those around you).

Point taken, shame on me for having a harmless crush on this guy, I am the worst person in the world. Let me flee from the almight who judge me, LOL!