There's a guy that I know who sometimes goes back and forth between showing me attention and then he acts like he must distance himself from me. He's a minister at my church and sometimes he talks about me in a positive way in his sermons (as a compliment) and at other moments he acts like he doesn't want to be around me. It's confusing because he asks his staff to contact me and keep me busy doing things around the church. He doesn't act like this with anyone else.

One particular day, I was asked to do a short speech at church and while I was doing it, he was acting really weird and preoccupied. But it was HIS idea to have me do that, then he goes and acts weird when I'm up there in front of the group! It's like anytime that I talk, he whips out his phone or starts actin distracted but he gives the others his undivided attention. Then, at other times, he's staring at me a lot and then cracking jokes about me (which are funny, not insulting) and seems to really act on the ideas that I share but with other people it takes him forever to come around to doing their ideas. Even some of his staffers act different towards me now for some reason, like a bit jealous or something I dunno

What's up with this guy? It's worth noting that he's married but there is speculation that his wife left him or is leaving him.

SeventeenDayze said:

There's a guy that I know who sometimes goes back and forth between showing me attention and then he acts like he must distance himself from me. He's a minister at my church and sometimes he talks about me in a positive way in his sermons (as a compliment) and at other moments he acts like he doesn't want to be around me. It's confusing because he asks his staff to contact me and keep me busy doing things around the church. He doesn't act like this with anyone else.

One particular day, I was asked to do a short speech at church and while I was doing it, he was acting really weird and preoccupied. But it was HIS idea to have me do that, then he goes and acts weird when I'm up there in front of the group! It's like anytime that I talk, he whips out his phone or starts actin distracted but he gives the others his undivided attention. Then, at other times, he's staring at me a lot and then cracking jokes about me (which are funny, not insulting) and seems to really act on the ideas that I share but with other people it takes him forever to come around to doing their ideas. Even some of his staffers act different towards me now for some reason, like a bit jealous or something I dunno

What's up with this guy? It's worth noting that he's married but there is speculation that his wife left him or is leaving him.

It seems like he feels confused and/or guilty about his feelings towards you, whatever those feelings may be.

I think you are looking way too much into his behavior. I don't see anywhere from where you've written that he's interested in you. Sounds like he's asking you do things in the church and then he goes about his business while you are irritated that he doesn't pay you much attention.

missfee said:

I think you are looking way too much into his behavior. I don't see anywhere from where you've written that he's interested in you. Sounds like he's asking you do things in the church and then he goes about his business while you are irritated that he doesn't pay you much attention.

I just stopped myself from posting a very similar response Missfee.

Dayze it reads as if it is YOU who is watching him.. and possibly making him feel uncomfortable or has someone else has mentioned him acting 'weird'?

Do you find find him attractive? as it might be that you fancy him and are projecting

missfee said:

I think you are looking way too much into his behavior. I don't see anywhere from where you've written that he's interested in you. Sounds like he's asking you do things in the church and then he goes about his business while you are irritated that he doesn't pay you much attention.

Totally.

Rightly said:

Sounds like he's struggling with the commands of the cock. Quite the little drama.

Commands of the cock, LOL! Best comment ever on the Org

'Why would a guy act weird like this?'

wow, this is too easy...

if the guy is assosiated with you, it's expected

hmmmm....some of these comments are kind of harsh. she's sort of pouring her heart out, struggling with this issue and some of these comments seem sort of mean.

lauralevesque said:

hmmmm....some of these comments are kind of harsh. she's sort of pouring her heart out, struggling with this issue and some of these comments seem sort of mean.

She makes a thread like this every other week....and it's always about some dude being into her and is acting weird because of it.

It's been widely agreed by most on heree that these possible scenarios are just all in her head.

lauralevesque said:

hmmmm....some of these comments are kind of harsh. she's sort of pouring her heart out, struggling with this issue and some of these comments seem sort of mean.

Yeah there's a peanut gallery here on the Org, they always do this. They complain because they have nothing else better to do than to attack a person on the Org who probably has a happy life and whatnot. Obviously, if these scenarios were just in my head, I would have posted the wedding invitations and baby names up on the Org by now/

Other than that Laura, I just ignore them for the jerks that they are

For everyone else, thanks for the advice/feedback. As I mentioned before, I find it strange that he would push and pull like that at the same time. How do you try one minute to act like a person doesn't exist and then the next time you are mentioning them in sermons, etc?

1.) are you attracted to him?

2.) It could be just business: talking about you in a sermon doesn't mean you have to be friends

3.) ...he's just not that into you

OldFriends4Sale said:

1.) are you attracted to him?

2.) It could be just business: talking about you in a sermon doesn't mean you have to be friends

3.) ...he's just not that into you

I guess it seemed weird to me that if you're trying to avoid a person who you think is a bit creepy or whatnot, you don't mention them in a sermon and then ask your staffers to have me to more stuff around the place. I would think you'd keep far away from me and not do anything to give the impression that you "like" me, LOL

lauralevesque said:

hmmmm....some of these comments are kind of harsh. she's sort of pouring her heart out, struggling with this issue and some of these comments seem sort of mean.

Well, all I can say is that mine wasn't. Just gave what was asked...my opinion.

missfee said:

lauralevesque said:

hmmmm....some of these comments are kind of harsh. she's sort of pouring her heart out, struggling with this issue and some of these comments seem sort of mean.

Well, all I can say is that mine wasn't. Just gave what was asked...my opinion.

Oh no, I didn't mean you. She asked for opions and you gave yours - it wasn't mean. I just mean that some seemed not so nice.

lauralevesque said:

missfee said:

Well, all I can say is that mine wasn't. Just gave what was asked...my opinion.

Oh no, I didn't mean you. She asked for opions and you gave yours - it wasn't mean. I just mean that some seemed not so nice.

Naw, Misfee's not so bad but the other folks, now that's a different story

Sounds like a pastor trying to encourage a member to get more involved with church activites. At the same time, perhaps poorly, letting that member know he's not personally interested. When he ask you out on a date, then you'll know.

morningsong said:

Sounds like a pastor trying to encourage a member to get more involved with church activites. At the same time, perhaps poorly, letting that member know he's not personally interested. When he ask you out on a date, then you'll know.

Yeah I hear ya. I just think it's weird that if you think somebody has a crush on you, why would you do and say stuff to fan the flames of an "unwanted" crush?

ARE you interested in him? If he gave you some kind of clear sign that he is interested in you would you pursue it? otherwise why is it bugging you?

ZombieKitten said:

ARE you interested in him? If he gave you some kind of clear sign that he is interested in you would you pursue it? otherwise why is it bugging you?

Well, I dunno. I've had a few thoughts about him that perhaps were a bit steamy...

Why do you go to church in the first place? Is it to hear the sermon or pick up men?

Beautifulstarr123 said:

Why do you go to church in the first place? Is it to hear the sermon or pick up men?

So when I'm sitting in church I'm supposed to be blind and without any hormones at all? LOL

SeventeenDayze said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

Why do you go to church in the first place? Is it to hear the sermon or pick up men?

So when I'm sitting in church I'm supposed to be blind and without any hormones at all? LOL

I meant if that's your sole purpose, and nothing else?

Beautifulstarr123 said:

SeventeenDayze said:

So when I'm sitting in church I'm supposed to be blind and without any hormones at all? LOL

I meant if that's your sole purpose, and nothing else?

Hahaha that's funny, naw I love Jesus and everything but my hormones never go on vacation

SeventeenDayze said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

I meant if that's your sole purpose, and nothing else?

Hahaha that's funny, naw I love Jesus and everything but my hormones never go on vacation

Well, it is better to marry than to burn (your hormones, not hell )

At least that's what Paul says

Hope you find someone special

But not the pastor and don't think the pastor and his deacon board don't talk about the church members

Beautifulstarr123 said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Hahaha that's funny, naw I love Jesus and everything but my hormones never go on vacation

Well, it is better to marry than to burn (your hormones, not hell )

At least that's what Paul says

Hope you find someone special

But not the pastor and don't think the pastor and his deacon board don't talk about the church members

If someone gets a divorce, what's a good window of time to wait before making a move on them though?

Months later you are still talking and thinking about this man? You said you wasn't sure about his marriage, and now he's still not asked you on a date, and you are still thinking about the possiblities and ifs?

JOYJOY said:

Dayze it reads as if it is YOU who is watching him.. and possibly making him feel uncomfortable...

...it might be that you fancy him and are projecting

That's pretty much the way I see it also, based on the limited amount of knowledge I have of either party. Moreover, I've found myself in this preacher's position on many occasions over the course of my life.

He probably likes [the OP] well enough, but not in any sort of romantic/sexual way. He probably finds [the OP] smart & useful, so he keeps her busy with various projects within the church. Plus, the more he can keep her busy, the less time she would have to be sitting around tripping on HIM. He's probably also careful to be "nice" to [the OP], as to avoid any situation whereas she could begin to feel "rejected", become "a woman scorned", and start some drama within the church. It's likely that he may be aware that she has a crush on him, and what [the OP] may be perceiving as "weird like this" is probably the discomfort he feels from being the target of that crush.

But again, without knowing anyone involved on any kind of personal level, this is just the opinion of an outsider looking in (based on the limited information provided in this thread for the solicitation of opinions).

missfee said:

I think you are looking way too much into his behavior. I don't see anywhere from where you've written that he's interested in you. Sounds like he's asking you do things in the church and then he goes about his business while you are irritated that he doesn't pay you much attention.