dJJ said:

JustErin said:

I know exactly what you're saying.

I was given a promise in my last relationship and it was broken. That is the hardest thing about the whole situation. Everything else I have dealt with but that one broken promise just stings so bad and probably will forever. I have always been more of a Doubting Thomas but this last relationship absolutely makes me not trusting of any dude, no matter what they say. I now just brush off anything I'm told as probably insincere, but that said, I'm not willing to just cut them out of my life.

Maybe I'll never fully trust anyone again, but maybe I will.

Yep.

Well, for me the pain from London was more than I could handle at that moment.

Since then, I'm doing fine as a hermit, getting my life in order.

Getting lied to anyways. Found out the plumber is a part of scam group.

And owner of floor company took 'secretly' pictures of me, pretending to make pictures of the floor. And scrued me over, so people who were supposed to rent my house, couldn't move in yet.

I'm so done with guys not being able to discipline themselves, and therefore hurt women. Just because they can.

Hermit life for me. For now at least.

Well, I'm not going to go as far and say that I believe guys in general are like this...just out to deceive and hurt women.

For me it's more of me not letting myself believe, even if best intentions are really there...which in y case I do believe, even now, they really were there....but ah well, I guess we both really knew that in the end it was hopeless and were just living in a delusional bubble until he had to leave.

Ugh, the whole thing is so depressing. I hate to think about it...that's why I am on a dating site.

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

Yes, girls do seem to have one goal in life; get attention from boys. Somehow, society (movies, songs etc) has tought these girls that their status depends on how many boy would want to f*uck them.

So, in order to get a high position on the girls status ladder, they please guys (dressing slutty, laughin at stupid jokes, being insecure) in stead of guarding their own happiness.

And the sad consequence of men's behavior is that women can't believe a man's words. Can you really blame a woman, for believing what a man says to her? Or is it a woman's fault if she is so naive to think what the man is saying to her, actually is the truth?

I mean, I would want to be able to belief a guy. However, if I do that, I'm naive and I my heart gets broken again.

Is it my fault that I believed Londonboy his "I love you so much, let's build a life together"?

I know exactly what you're saying.

I was given a promise in my last relationship and it was broken. That is the hardest thing about the whole situation. Everything else I have dealt with but that one broken promise just stings so bad and probably will forever. I have always been more of a Doubting Thomas but this last relationship absolutely makes me not trusting of any dude, no matter what they say. I now just brush off anything I'm told as probably insincere, but that said, I'm not willing to just cut them out of my life.

Maybe I'll never fully trust anyone again, but maybe I will.

You totally made me laugh with this thread. At least laughter is always genuine. Well, usually.

I'll tell it later

[Edited 10/12/12 21:37pm]

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

Yep.

Well, for me the pain from London was more than I could handle at that moment.

Since then, I'm doing fine as a hermit, getting my life in order.

Getting lied to anyways. Found out the plumber is a part of scam group.

And owner of floor company took 'secretly' pictures of me, pretending to make pictures of the floor. And scrued me over, so people who were supposed to rent my house, couldn't move in yet.

I'm so done with guys not being able to discipline themselves, and therefore hurt women. Just because they can.

Hermit life for me. For now at least.

Well, I'm not going to go as far and say that I believe guys in general are like this...just out to deceive and hurt women.

For me it's more of me not letting myself believe, even if best intentions are really there...which in y case I do believe, even now, they really were there....but ah well, I guess we both really knew that in the end it was hopeless and were just living in a delusional bubble until he had to leave.

Ugh, the whole thing is so depressing. I hate to think about it...that's why I am on a dating site.

I'm sure both of you really did feel you guys could build up something. I remember we challenged you on his age, and questioning if he was ready to bond to you and your son. And he really seemed to be serious. I'm very sorry you got hurt.

And no, I don't think all men hurt women. Of course, it's not that simple. Eventhough it are men.

I don't think men are all intentionally inclined to hurt women. I do think they play mind tricks, with themselves, in order to sinc their behavior with their Consciousness.

For example:

They tell women on a dating site that they are interested in really building an intimite relationship.

Woman assumes he will form a bond with her and both want to cope with eachothers weaknesses and fortes. Woman opens her heart up to him.

He can have sex with her.

Man tells himself: I am looking for a relationship, however, I can't be blamed for looking around.

He decides she does not meet his exact teenage fantasy. So, breaks up.

A disciplined man would:

Tell women he wants to compare goods and fuck around. He will offer women to decide for themselves if they want to have sex with him or not. Tell her he is not emotionally mature enough to deal with the reality of a relationship.

I do think men tend to play mindtricks with themselves more than women. And inherently, end up playing mind tricks with her to.

PunkMistress said:

JustErin said:

I know exactly what you're saying.

I was given a promise in my last relationship and it was broken. That is the hardest thing about the whole situation. Everything else I have dealt with but that one broken promise just stings so bad and probably will forever. I have always been more of a Doubting Thomas but this last relationship absolutely makes me not trusting of any dude, no matter what they say. I now just brush off anything I'm told as probably insincere, but that said, I'm not willing to just cut them out of my life.

Maybe I'll never fully trust anyone again, but maybe I will.

You totally made me laugh with this thread. At least laughter is always genuine. Well, usually.

Yeah, if I don't laugh at things, I'll just end up falling apart!

JustErin said:

PunkMistress said:

You totally made me laugh with this thread. At least laughter is always genuine. Well, usually.

Yeah, if I don't laugh at things, I'll just end up falling apart!

Right girl,

Let's not go down this road!

Let's both man up.

You'r a very sweet, smart, though and witty girl. And beautiful.

A great mother and you know how to make yourself happy, so do that.

There will be somebody for you, who will be good for you.

And I've decided that one day, I also will be able to get that stable, commited, loving and secure relationship.

JustErin said:

PunkMistress said:

You totally made me laugh with this thread. At least laughter is always genuine. Well, usually.

Yeah, if I don't laugh at things, I'll just end up falling apart!

Don't I know it, sister.

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

yeah, depressing

the way some women just sleep with the guys they meet hoping that it might turn out to be more, when in reality it's pretty obvious the guys that are on there just want sex. Regardless of what each party seeks in reality, it seems like what they GET out of it mostly are empty couplings without any real connection - and that's pretty sad to me.

but that's just what I've heard from you, other people on here, or newspaper articles. I've never actually even seen a dating site I also hear of success stories - people who really DO meet the loves of their lives. But then, that article on the other thread about men not marrying for love makes me totally depressed too.

I'm going to be a hermit I swear I can't handle it any more!!!!

Well, I've only ever met two dudes from a dating site. One I was with for over a year and it was fucked up serious, and the other I wasn't feeling it so nothing came from it, except him texting me for a few weeks looking to at least hook up...which I, of course, didn't go for.

I don't know what other women are doing on there, nor do I care but I'm not on there banging dudes hoping they will like me.

This time around I've had 412 dudes contact me (or so the stupid stats tell me). I've ignored almost every single one of them except maybe a half dozen and only agreed to meet one of them so far. Yeah, the number of good guys on there is low and most of them are obviously looking for sex, but I just don't reply or tell them I'm not interested if we talk and that's what they want. No biggie for me, but I guess insecure, silly girls might do anything to make some dude like her.

But I do find those messages trolling for sex entertaining, though.

That number sounds about right. In my single days, I could get up to a good 400 contacts, immediately erase or ignore all but 30, then narrow it down to 2-3 people worth checking out and giving a try. My issue was always distance though: always found great matches who lived half way across the globe, and we would only see each other if one or the other was traveling for work. I'm quite comfy where I am and would never entertain moving, so sadly I would have to let those relationships go. It was good while it lasted, though and each of those people remained very trustworthy, dependable friends

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

Yes, girls do seem to have one goal in life; get attention from boys. Somehow, society (movies, songs etc) has tought these girls that their status depends on how many boy would want to f*uck them.

So, in order to get a high position on the girls status ladder, they please guys (dressing slutty, laughin at stupid jokes, being insecure) in stead of guarding their own happiness.

And the sad consequence of men's behavior is that women can't believe a man's words. Can you really blame a woman, for believing what a man says to her? Or is it a woman's fault if she is so naive to think what the man is saying to her, actually is the truth?

I mean, I would want to be able to belief a guy. However, if I do that, I'm naive and I my heart gets broken again.

Is it my fault that I believed Londonboy his "I love you so much, let's build a life together"?

I know exactly what you're saying.

I was given a promise in my last relationship and it was broken. That is the hardest thing about the whole situation. Everything else I have dealt with but that one broken promise just stings so bad and probably will forever. I have always been more of a Doubting Thomas but this last relationship absolutely makes me not trusting of any dude, no matter what they say. I now just brush off anything I'm told as probably insincere, but that said, I'm not willing to just cut them out of my life.

Maybe I'll never fully trust anyone again, but maybe I will.

That just gets in my craw...people not keeping their word

I'm glad to hear that you're still open to the possibility of trusting again though. When the right dude comes along, we don't want him paying for the past jerk's mistakes. The right dude is going to 110% deserving of everything you have to offer

JustErin said:

I'm constantly being accused of being a fake account, especially when I don't reply to people I am not interested in. I always get another message telling me I am fake.

Are you serious? OMG. One of my friends told me that one of her girlfriends had subscribed to match.com and that if she didn't answer her "inbox" messages by certain guys within a day or two, they would blow up her box with all kinds of explicit and disrespectful messages saying basically what you just said. Hilarious!

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

Well, I'm not going to go as far and say that I believe guys in general are like this...just out to deceive and hurt women.

For me it's more of me not letting myself believe, even if best intentions are really there...which in y case I do believe, even now, they really were there....but ah well, I guess we both really knew that in the end it was hopeless and were just living in a delusional bubble until he had to leave.

Ugh, the whole thing is so depressing. I hate to think about it...that's why I am on a dating site.

I'm sure both of you really did feel you guys could build up something. I remember we challenged you on his age, and questioning if he was ready to bond to you and your son. And he really seemed to be serious. I'm very sorry you got hurt.

And no, I don't think all men hurt women. Of course, it's not that simple. Eventhough it are men.

I don't think men are all intentionally inclined to hurt women. I do think they play mind tricks, with themselves, in order to sinc their behavior with their Consciousness.

For example:

They tell women on a dating site that they are interested in really building an intimite relationship.

Woman assumes he will form a bond with her and both want to cope with eachothers weaknesses and fortes. Woman opens her heart up to him.

He can have sex with her.

Man tells himself: I am looking for a relationship, however, I can't be blamed for looking around.

He decides she does not meet his exact teenage fantasy. So, breaks up.

A disciplined man would:

Tell women he wants to compare goods and fuck around. He will offer women to decide for themselves if they want to have sex with him or not. Tell her he is not emotionally mature enough to deal with the reality of a relationship.

I do think men tend to play mindtricks with themselves more than women. And inherently, end up playing mind tricks with her to.

It wasn't his age, or his commitment level (especially the last 7 months of our relationship). It was his inability to walk away from his family and live the life he told me he wanted instead of the life they wanted him to live. Or so the story apparently goes...

I should just be happy that his problems are no longer mine as well, and call it at day.

Anyway, many of the guys I have talked to are pretty much admitting they are in a relationship and are just looking to get laid on the side. I seem to be able to get the truth out of people fairly easily.

this post reminded me to log on to my eharmony account. So thanks...

On second thought.....47 new matches (Haven't logged in a couple of days..) Not one interested in so far. So maybe...no thanks.

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

I'm sure both of you really did feel you guys could build up something. I remember we challenged you on his age, and questioning if he was ready to bond to you and your son. And he really seemed to be serious. I'm very sorry you got hurt.

And no, I don't think all men hurt women. Of course, it's not that simple. Eventhough it are men.

I don't think men are all intentionally inclined to hurt women. I do think they play mind tricks, with themselves, in order to sinc their behavior with their Consciousness.

For example:

They tell women on a dating site that they are interested in really building an intimite relationship.

Woman assumes he will form a bond with her and both want to cope with eachothers weaknesses and fortes. Woman opens her heart up to him.

He can have sex with her.

Man tells himself: I am looking for a relationship, however, I can't be blamed for looking around.

He decides she does not meet his exact teenage fantasy. So, breaks up.

A disciplined man would:

Tell women he wants to compare goods and fuck around. He will offer women to decide for themselves if they want to have sex with him or not. Tell her he is not emotionally mature enough to deal with the reality of a relationship.

I do think men tend to play mindtricks with themselves more than women. And inherently, end up playing mind tricks with her to.

It wasn't his age, or his commitment level (especially the last 7 months of our relationship). It was his inability to walk away from his family and live the life he told me he wanted instead of the life they wanted him to live. Or so the story apparently goes...

I should just be happy that his problems are no longer mine as well, and call it at day.

Anyway, many of the guys I have talked to are pretty much admitting they are in a relationship and are just looking to get laid on the side. I seem to be able to get the truth out of people fairly easily.

It's sad that you both are in pain and that he was forced to choose between what he wants and what his family wants him to do. Not having to make that choice and a family that supports his own choices, would be nice.

And yes, destracting yourself with dates is better, in stead of being bitter and depressed and feeling sorry for yourself because of your broken heart

Ottensen said:

JustErin said:

I know exactly what you're saying.

I was given a promise in my last relationship and it was broken. That is the hardest thing about the whole situation. Everything else I have dealt with but that one broken promise just stings so bad and probably will forever. I have always been more of a Doubting Thomas but this last relationship absolutely makes me not trusting of any dude, no matter what they say. I now just brush off anything I'm told as probably insincere, but that said, I'm not willing to just cut them out of my life.

Maybe I'll never fully trust anyone again, but maybe I will.

That just gets in my craw...people not keeping their word

I'm glad to hear that you're still open to the possibility of trusting again though. When the right dude comes along, we don't want him paying for the past jerk's mistakes. The right dude is going to 110% deserving of everything you have to offer

Thanks.

missfee said:

JustErin said:

I'm constantly being accused of being a fake account, especially when I don't reply to people I am not interested in. I always get another message telling me I am fake.

Are you serious? OMG. One of my friends told me that one of her girlfriends had subscribed to match.com and that if she didn't answer her "inbox" messages by certain guys within a day or two, they would blow up her box with all kinds of explicit and disrespectful messages saying basically what you just said. Hilarious!

Yeah, lame.

Tried eharmony over 4th of July weekend. When it expires, not going to renew.

I've talked to people over the phone and only met one person face to face.

It has been a horror story.

1 person was really wanting to meet me after talking on the phone one time. She wanted me to meet her while she was taking her kids shopping at the mall.

I was like "You really shouldn't be having people meet you for the first time with your kids. It is not smart in the sense of you don't really know the guy and should never put your kids in that position."

She then wanted me to meet her later that night with her brother and his girlfriend. I declined as it had been a long day but another time. She then started texting me some very sexual stuff and saying if I came over I could have her. I was like "maybe next time." but still was being crazy sexual.

Turns out it was her BROTHER texting me all that sexual stuff, trying to see if I was a pervert. Said if I was, that he would tie me up to a dock and stuff. I didn't like the games and the test so just told her when she got her phone back to just lose my number.

Just know it is not just girls going through this internet dating hell! lol

I believe I've already weighed in on what types of people go to dating sites and judging by the response Erin has received from hers, I'm still right.

jseven said:

Tried eharmony over 4th of July weekend. When it expires, not going to renew.

I've talked to people over the phone and only met one person face to face.

It has been a horror story.

1 person was really wanting to meet me after talking on the phone one time. She wanted me to meet her while she was taking her kids shopping at the mall.

I was like "You really shouldn't be having people meet you for the first time with your kids. It is not smart in the sense of you don't really know the guy and should never put your kids in that position."

She then wanted me to meet her later that night with her brother and his girlfriend. I declined as it had been a long day but another time. She then started texting me some very sexual stuff and saying if I came over I could have her. I was like "maybe next time." but still was being crazy sexual.

Turns out it was her BROTHER texting me all that sexual stuff, trying to see if I was a pervert. Said if I was, that he would tie me up to a dock and stuff. I didn't like the games and the test so just told her when she got her phone back to just lose my number.

Just know it is not just girls going through this internet dating hell! lol

Hey!... What's up with this guy?

He can fulfil your fantasy ..... and.......

JustErin said:

I If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

.....Screw you up some shelves while he's at it!

jseven said:

Tried eharmony over 4th of July weekend. When it expires, not going to renew.

I've talked to people over the phone and only met one person face to face.

It has been a horror story.

1 person was really wanting to meet me after talking on the phone one time. She wanted me to meet her while she was taking her kids shopping at the mall.

I was like "You really shouldn't be having people meet you for the first time with your kids. It is not smart in the sense of you don't really know the guy and should never put your kids in that position."

She then wanted me to meet her later that night with her brother and his girlfriend. I declined as it had been a long day but another time. She then started texting me some very sexual stuff and saying if I came over I could have her. I was like "maybe next time." but still was being crazy sexual.

Turns out it was her BROTHER texting me all that sexual stuff, trying to see if I was a pervert. Said if I was, that he would tie me up to a dock and stuff. I didn't like the games and the test so just told her when she got her phone back to just lose my number.

Just know it is not just girls going through this internet dating hell! lol

Wow.

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

Well, I'm not going to go as far and say that I believe guys in general are like this...just out to deceive and hurt women.

For me it's more of me not letting myself believe, even if best intentions are really there...which in y case I do believe, even now, they really were there....but ah well, I guess we both really knew that in the end it was hopeless and were just living in a delusional bubble until he had to leave.

Ugh, the whole thing is so depressing. I hate to think about it...that's why I am on a dating site.

I'm sure both of you really did feel you guys could build up something. I remember we challenged you on his age, and questioning if he was ready to bond to you and your son. And he really seemed to be serious. I'm very sorry you got hurt.

And no, I don't think all men hurt women. Of course, it's not that simple. Eventhough it are men.

I don't think men are all intentionally inclined to hurt women. I do think they play mind tricks, with themselves, in order to sinc their behavior with their Consciousness.

For example:

They tell women on a dating site that they are interested in really building an intimite relationship.

Woman assumes he will form a bond with her and both want to cope with eachothers weaknesses and fortes. Woman opens her heart up to him.

He can have sex with her.

Man tells himself: I am looking for a relationship, however, I can't be blamed for looking around.

He decides she does not meet his exact teenage fantasy. So, breaks up.

A disciplined man would:

Tell women he wants to compare goods and fuck around. He will offer women to decide for themselves if they want to have sex with him or not. Tell her he is not emotionally mature enough to deal with the reality of a relationship.

I do think men tend to play mindtricks with themselves more than women. And inherently, end up playing mind tricks with her to.

I don't know much about wowen, but it looks to me your giving the man way too much control of the situation. Like the man can say everything he wants and the woman just falls for it...that's pretty naieve.

Saying you're looking for a relationship on a datingsite doesn't mean you want to share all your life and feelings with the first person you meet on a datingsite. Of course people compare goods, we all do, why would somebody have to say that? Isn't that obvious?

Steadwood said:

Hey!... What's up with this guy?

He can fulfil your fantasy ..... and.......

JustErin said:

I If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

.....Screw you up some shelves while he's at it!

RodeoSchro said:

I believe I've already weighed in on what types of people go to dating sites and judging by the response Erin has received from hers, I'm still right.

i rather get my laughs here

dating sites are terrible & undignified way of trying to find someone, why would anyone make themselves look so desperate is beyond me!! the laziness of it all would put me off straight away. i mean even the photos they post.. like they make no effort to even post a nice photo! they all look like serial killers, unsmiling & dodgy as fuck

my friend made an account to catch out her cheating bloke!! she got results in that respect & as a bonus had a lot of laughs reading messages from lovesick/sexstarved saddos.

ZombieKitten said:

kewlschool said:

Yeah, but you ignored mine.

Helps if you're in the same street as me

Check fan gatherings-see official Seattle ORG meet up August 2nd 2013

kewlschool said:

Dating sites are like many things, a good idea if they are used the way they were intended to be used. The problem is, so many people who use them are deceptive/misleading or shallow or have an unreasonable expectation of meeting "the perfect man/woman". It really does seem like the sites have devolved into breeding grounds for people seeking sex partners.

To the OP, an attractive intelligent woman like yourself shouldn't have so much difficulty settling down with someone. Rather than looking for the man you want, search for who you really are and think about whether it's who you want to be. We all need self-evaluation now and then, just my

robertlove said:

dJJ said:

I'm sure both of you really did feel you guys could build up something. I remember we challenged you on his age, and questioning if he was ready to bond to you and your son. And he really seemed to be serious. I'm very sorry you got hurt.

And no, I don't think all men hurt women. Of course, it's not that simple. Eventhough it are men.

I don't think men are all intentionally inclined to hurt women. I do think they play mind tricks, with themselves, in order to sinc their behavior with their Consciousness.

For example:

They tell women on a dating site that they are interested in really building an intimite relationship.

Woman assumes he will form a bond with her and both want to cope with eachothers weaknesses and fortes. Woman opens her heart up to him.

He can have sex with her.

Man tells himself: I am looking for a relationship, however, I can't be blamed for looking around.

He decides she does not meet his exact teenage fantasy. So, breaks up.

A disciplined man would:

Tell women he wants to compare goods and fuck around. He will offer women to decide for themselves if they want to have sex with him or not. Tell her he is not emotionally mature enough to deal with the reality of a relationship.

I do think men tend to play mindtricks with themselves more than women. And inherently, end up playing mind tricks with her to.

I don't know much about wowen, but it looks to me your giving the man way too much control of the situation. Like the man can say everything he wants and the woman just falls for it...that's pretty naieve.

Saying you're looking for a relationship on a datingsite doesn't mean you want to share all your life and feelings with the first person you meet on a datingsite. Of course people compare goods, we all do, why would somebody have to say that? Isn't that obvious?

Agree.

Eventhough, I get the impression many men adjust their story in order to smooth the woman into sex.

But you are right that women aren't just innocent victims.