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Thread started 09/08/12 6:05pm

fred12

Does sex determine if you are going to have a great marriage?

My wife and I were talking about how people say that sex determines the marriage. Just wanna know what you all think about that. Is it better to know what you are getting at first, or are you going to look at it from the Christian religious point-of-view,"NO SHACKING UP!" If the sex is not great, will the marriage be great?

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Reply #1 posted 09/08/12 6:17pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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I've never stayed in a relationship where the sex wasn't good.

That said, sex certainly isn't the only thing that will make a marriage work. You can have great sex but a not so great relationship.

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Reply #2 posted 09/08/12 6:17pm

ZombieKitten

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My aunt married without trying before buying. He turned out to have some erectile dysfunction, the marriage was never consummated and they soon went their separate ways. Sex plays a huge part - to begin with anyway dead I wouldn't underestimate its importance. However marrying someone JUST because the sex is awesome isn't such a great idea, later on you gotta have something in common aside from that when it wanes off neutral
I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #3 posted 09/08/12 6:23pm

RenHoek

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Because it is the ULTIMATE closeness you can experience with your partner I'd say it has a lot to do with a great marriage...

A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #4 posted 09/08/12 6:25pm

fred12

CarrieMpls said:

I've never stayed in a relationship where the sex wasn't good.

That said, sex certainly isn't the only thing that will make a marriage work. You can have great sex but a not so great relationship.

I totally agree with you

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Reply #5 posted 09/08/12 7:21pm

paintedlady

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Communication is key... you could turn a boring lover into a good lover just for you if you are patient and can learn from one another. This way the sex just gets better and better over time.

So for me, it helps to have good working equipment... good communication skills and the rest will follow.

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Reply #6 posted 09/08/12 8:29pm

HuMpThAnG

RenHoek said:

Because it is the ULTIMATE closeness you can experience with your partner I'd say it has a lot to do with a great marriage...

yup

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Reply #7 posted 09/09/12 7:22am

excited

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i wouldn't have married my bloke if he was shit in the sack, but having other qualities is more important in the longrun. if he can make u feel like a princess at all times, then that helps

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Reply #8 posted 09/09/12 10:55am

jfrost

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It is like most things in life..and life is a balancing act.

If one partner is looking for great sex and little else then they will not complain when it turns out the other while extraordinary in bed is a lazy shit every where else but that isn't the true picture.

A marraige is souly built on trusting each other.

An example earlier in the thread spoke of a women you married this guy before sex and discovered afterwards that he had an erectile dysfunction. It wasn't the fact his dick could get hard that ruined that marraige but the fact he concealed it and the trust of partners were destroyed.

Good sex is a bonus in any releationship, same as a good cook and been a good provider....but they are not necessary and very low on the importance list if lack of trust comes into the marraige!

The right to free discussion is protected!!
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Reply #9 posted 09/09/12 2:12pm

nammie

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fred12 said:

My wife and I were talking about how people say that sex determines the marriage. Just wanna know what you all think about that. Is it better to know what you are getting at first, or are you going to look at it from the Christian religious point-of-view,"NO SHACKING UP!" If the sex is not great, will the marriage be great?

My ex-husband was a lousy lover in the beginning, but we had excellent communication & were very open with each other. We talked about our sexual preferences-- lucky for me he was a good listener and took direction very well.

After working at it for a few months things we both improved and learned a great deal about each other's sexuality. From that point on he was one the best lovers I have ever had, but guess what...

That still didn't stop that muthafucka from taking all the skills I taught him and testing it out on every bitch on this side of the Mississippi mad razz lol

IMHO bad sex can break a relationship but fantastic sex won't save one.

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Reply #10 posted 09/09/12 3:25pm

ZombieKitten

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jfrost said:

It is like most things in life..and life is a balancing act.



If one partner is looking for great sex and little else then they will not complain when it turns out the other while extraordinary in bed is a lazy shit every where else but that isn't the true picture.



A marraige is souly built on trusting each other.





An example earlier in the thread spoke of a women you married this guy before sex and discovered afterwards that he had an erectile dysfunction. It wasn't the fact his dick could get hard that ruined that marraige but the fact he concealed it and the trust of partners were destroyed.



Good sex is a bonus in any releationship, same as a good cook and been a good provider....but they are not necessary and very low on the importance list if lack of trust comes into the marraige!



Just wanted to add a couple of details about my aunt.
It was the 1950s, both were virgins and in their teens. Who heard of erectile dysfunction? It's not something anyone talked about. She thought she just wasn't attractive enough or sexy enough cry
I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #11 posted 09/09/12 7:09pm

LadyCasanova

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There is a difference between good and great.

If the sex is good but not great, things may be fine in the relationship.

If the sex is horrible, no matter how much you talk about it or wait, than i think the relationship is

going to suffer.

Great sex also does not mean great relationship shrug

In the U.S, $ issues and sex issues are in the top 4 reasons why couples don't last.

[Edited 9/9/12 19:10pm]

"Aren't you even curious? Don't you want to see the dragon behind the door?"
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Reply #12 posted 09/09/12 7:42pm

Fury

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The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly

mad

lol
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Reply #13 posted 09/09/12 8:07pm

butterfli25

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Fury said:

The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly mad lol

or think they are sad

butterfly
We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.
Maya Angelou
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Reply #14 posted 09/09/12 8:12pm

Stymie

Fury said:

The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly mad lol

Or sex is not a big deal to them. shrug

I'd never get married because sex is good and would never leave someone because sex is bad.

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Reply #15 posted 09/09/12 9:49pm

kewlschool

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Stymie said:

Fury said:

The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly mad lol

Or sex is not a big deal to them. shrug

I'd never get married because sex is good and would never leave someone because sex is bad.

Exactly. But a lot of people probably would.

But, what if they have a disease that was life altering or an accident which prevents them from having sex? Then do you still leave them?

99.9% of everything I say is strictly for my own entertainment
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Reply #16 posted 09/09/12 10:34pm

Stymie

kewlschool said:



Stymie said:




Fury said:


The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly mad lol

Or sex is not a big deal to them. shrug



I'd never get married because sex is good and would never leave someone because sex is bad.



Exactly. But a lot of people probably would.


But, what if they have a disease that was life altering or an accident which prevents them from having sex? Then do you still leave them?

Exactly!
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Reply #17 posted 09/10/12 12:23am

TD3

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kewlschool said:

Stymie said:

Or sex is not a big deal to them. shrug

I'd never get married because sex is good and would never leave someone because sex is bad.

Exactly. But a lot of people probably would.

But, what if they have a disease that was life altering or an accident which prevents them from having sex? Then do you still leave them?

You put an ad in the "Chicago Reader" seeking a fuck mate. Hey, don't shoot the messenger I'm just telling ya whats going on. lol

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Reply #18 posted 09/10/12 12:54am

HuMpThAnG

TD3 said:

kewlschool said:

Exactly. But a lot of people probably would.

But, what if they have a disease that was life altering or an accident which prevents them from having sex? Then do you still leave them?

You put an ad in the "Chicago Reader" seeking a fuck mate. Hey, don't shoot the messenger I'm just telling ya whats going on. lol

lol

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Reply #19 posted 09/10/12 7:09am

PurpleJedi

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Yes.

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #20 posted 09/10/12 7:37am

JustErin

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Fury said:

The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly mad lol

No.

Many woman don't give two shits about sex...period, so they don't care if it sucks.

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Reply #21 posted 09/10/12 9:04am

HuMpThAnG

JustErin said:

Fury said:

The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly mad lol

No.

Many woman don't give two shits about sex...period, so they don't care if it sucks.

well, that's sad

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Reply #22 posted 09/10/12 10:15am

Hudson

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HuMpThAnG said:

JustErin said:

No.

Many woman don't give two shits about sex...period, so they don't care if it sucks.

well, that's sad

Why? Just because you require great sex doesn't make it sad that others don't.

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Reply #23 posted 09/10/12 10:15am

JustErin

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HuMpThAnG said:

JustErin said:

No.

Many woman don't give two shits about sex...period, so they don't care if it sucks.

well, that's sad

Maybe, I think it's more sad that a man would stay with a woman like that...but what do I care about other people's relationships?

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Reply #24 posted 09/10/12 10:15am

Stymie

JustErin said:

Fury said:

The only women who stay in marriages with bad sex either have rich influential husbands or are butt ass ugly mad lol

No.

Many woman don't give two shits about sex...period, so they don't care if it sucks.

This.

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Reply #25 posted 09/10/12 10:18am

Stymie

Hudson said:

HuMpThAnG said:

well, that's sad

Why? Just because you require great sex doesn't make it sad that others don't.

This, too.

I've had great sex maybe three times in my entire life. I can definitely take it or leave it. I would do whatever I could to knock my partner's socks off. However, great sex is not going to make someone stay and there may come a time where my partner can't have sex.

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Reply #26 posted 09/10/12 1:48pm

uniden

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no, i didn't have sex with my husband until our wedding night. he is wonderful in bed, but i wouldn't leave him if he wasn't.

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #27 posted 09/10/12 2:23pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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Yes. Without great sex you might as well be friends.

2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #28 posted 09/10/12 2:26pm

Stymie

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yes. Without great sex you might as well be friends.

You should be friends anyway.

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Reply #29 posted 09/10/12 2:27pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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Stymie said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yes. Without great sex you might as well be friends.

You should be friends anyway.

You don't sex all your friends though wink

2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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