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Thread started 04/05/12 10:09am

scriptgirl

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Why are pastor's wives called "First Ladies"?

The only First Lady is the wife of the President of the US. I find it annoying and obnoxious when preacher's wives are called that.

I'm Presbyterian and our pastor's wives are just called Mrs and then their last name.

So, what's the deal?

"Lack of home training crosses all boundaries."
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Reply #1 posted 04/05/12 10:21am

JustErin

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I was raised in the Presbyterian church - well, up until I was about 12 or 13.

I thought we called our head leader dudes "Reverend"...?

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Reply #2 posted 04/05/12 10:31am

scriptgirl

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Reverend, pastor, same diff to me. Both preach.

"Lack of home training crosses all boundaries."
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Reply #3 posted 04/05/12 10:53am

HotGritz

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I've never heard that before. I've only heard "Mrs. Reverend/Bishop...." or "Sister....." or just "the preacher's wife".

I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE UGLY. YOU JUST HAVE BAD LUCK WHEN IT COMES TO MIRRORS AND SUNLIGHT!
RIP Dick Clark, Whitney Houston, Don Cornelius, Heavy D, and Donna Summer. rose
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Reply #4 posted 04/05/12 12:43pm

missfee

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I've heard it. I'm Baptist and the head of the church is called Pastor while their wives are called "The First Lady of the church". Don't know why or who made that rule, but I've heard it all my life. It's only used though if it's the Pastor's anniversary or the church anniversary though. Otherwise, the Pastor's wife is called just that, the "pastor's wife". lol The "Reverend's" and "Minister's" are usually the associate minister's who sit on the pulpit and preach in the absence of the Pastor, or during evening services. Normally, Pastor's have Doctorate's in Theology degrees, so if they aren't called "Pastor" then it's "Dr. such and such". But I believe that most Pastor's receive their "Doctorate" degrees online these days....no I'm not talking about taking their classes online, I'm talking about going online and typing their name in and paying for a piece of paper that will say that they earned a Doctorate in Theology when they really didn't earn it. You know, faking it. Some even get their sermons online. No joke.

Cause I'm fabulous and I live a fabulous life. batting eyes
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Reply #5 posted 04/05/12 12:53pm

morningsong

You might find your answer here, most longstanding doctrines have a standard set of governing rules.

http://www.pcaac.org/Web%...%20ALL.pdf

THE BOOK OF

CHURCH ORDER

OF THE

PRESBYTERIAN

CHURCH

IN AMERICA

"Right now, NASA's annual budget is half a penny on your tax dollar. ...—a penny on a dollar—we can transform the country ... , to one where it has reclaimed its 20th century birthright to dream of tomorrow." Tyson
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Reply #6 posted 04/05/12 1:00pm

HotGritz

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I really want to choke the First Lady of New Birth in ATL. Choke her with her own pearls.

I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE UGLY. YOU JUST HAVE BAD LUCK WHEN IT COMES TO MIRRORS AND SUNLIGHT!
RIP Dick Clark, Whitney Houston, Don Cornelius, Heavy D, and Donna Summer. rose
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Reply #7 posted 04/05/12 1:05pm

KingBAD

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"the first lady of the church"

because much like 'the first lady'

if you fuck her her,

you better not brag about it... lol

KALI my child will wreak havoc on all you love at my command... i am KING BAD!!!
evilking
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Reply #8 posted 04/05/12 3:35pm

debbiedean2

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The First Lady/Wives will always supersede the pastor's Side Hoes!!! lol lol lol lol

Sorry couldn't pass that up lol boxed lol

I'M NOT SHOUTING, JEEZ!
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Reply #9 posted 04/05/12 3:38pm

HotGritz

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debbiedean2 said:

The First Lady/Wives will always supersede the pastor's Side Hoes!!! lol lol lol lol

Sorry couldn't pass that up lol boxed lol

faint

yeah but them first ladies aint gonna supersede them po little choir boys. fresh meat on the line....nothing like it. lol

I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE UGLY. YOU JUST HAVE BAD LUCK WHEN IT COMES TO MIRRORS AND SUNLIGHT!
RIP Dick Clark, Whitney Houston, Don Cornelius, Heavy D, and Donna Summer. rose
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Reply #10 posted 04/05/12 3:52pm

missfee

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HotGritz said:

debbiedean2 said:

The First Lady/Wives will always supersede the pastor's Side Hoes!!! lol lol lol lol

Sorry couldn't pass that up lol boxed lol

faint

yeah but them first ladies aint gonna supersede them po little choir boys. fresh meat on the line....nothing like it. lol

Ahhhh you better stop.... faint faint faint

Cause I'm fabulous and I live a fabulous life. batting eyes
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Reply #11 posted 04/05/12 3:55pm

debbiedean2

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HotGritz said:

debbiedean2 said:

The First Lady/Wives will always supersede the pastor's Side Hoes!!! lol lol lol lol

Sorry couldn't pass that up lol boxed lol

faint

yeah but them first ladies aint gonna supersede them po little choir boys. fresh meat on the line....nothing like it. lol

HELLLLL NAWWW! lol lol lol

I'M NOT SHOUTING, JEEZ!
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Reply #12 posted 04/05/12 4:50pm

November

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debbiedean2 said:

The First Lady/Wives will always supersede the pastor's Side Hoes!!! lol lol lol lol

Sorry couldn't pass that up lol boxed lol

lol lol There are alot of them.

I have a relative who is a "First Lady" and the congregation calls her "Lady J". She has her own appreciation ceremony and everything. confused

lol at Pastor's receiving their "certificates" online. Some Pastors I know were given the title because they were called to preach, or their Father or Grandfather was a Pastor so they are one too.

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Reply #13 posted 04/05/12 5:02pm

missfee

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November said:

debbiedean2 said:

The First Lady/Wives will always supersede the pastor's Side Hoes!!! lol lol lol lol

Sorry couldn't pass that up lol boxed lol

lol lol There are alot of them.

I have a relative who is a "First Lady" and the congregation calls her "Lady J". She has her own appreciation ceremony and everything. confused

lol at Pastor's receiving their "certificates" online. Some Pastors I know were given the title because they were called to preach, or their Father or Grandfather was a Pastor so they are one too.

I think my ex's father who was a Pastor bought his Doctorate degree online. I had never heard of the school before. And he couldn't preach no better than I can. ohgoon All he would do is preach the same sermon over and over again but with a different scripture. Then during altar call prayer, he would put people's business on front street, supposedly "praying over their situation" all the while putting them on blast for all of the congregation to gossip about once church was over. disbelief

Cause I'm fabulous and I live a fabulous life. batting eyes
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Reply #14 posted 04/05/12 5:46pm

debbiedean2

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missfee said:

November said:

lol lol There are alot of them.

I have a relative who is a "First Lady" and the congregation calls her "Lady J". She has her own appreciation ceremony and everything. confused

lol at Pastor's receiving their "certificates" online. Some Pastors I know were given the title because they were called to preach, or their Father or Grandfather was a Pastor so they are one too.

I think my ex's father who was a Pastor bought his Doctorate degree online. I had never heard of the school before. And he couldn't preach no better than I can. ohgoon All he would do is preach the same sermon over and over again but with a different scripture. Then during altar call prayer, he would put people's business on front street, supposedly "praying over their situation" all the while putting them on blast for all of the congregation to gossip about once church was over. disbelief

evillol falloff evillol

[Edited 4/5/12 17:46pm]

I'M NOT SHOUTING, JEEZ!
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Reply #15 posted 04/05/12 6:07pm

Beautifulstarr
123

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I went to a Pentocostal church for six years, and the pastor's wife was called the First Lady. I cannot begin to explain why.

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Reply #16 posted 04/06/12 12:41am

Ottensen

missfee said:

I've heard it. I'm Baptist and the head of the church is called Pastor while their wives are called "The First Lady of the church". Don't know why or who made that rule, but I've heard it all my life. It's only used though if it's the Pastor's anniversary or the church anniversary though. Otherwise, the Pastor's wife is called just that, the "pastor's wife". lol The "Reverend's" and "Minister's" are usually the associate minister's who sit on the pulpit and preach in the absence of the Pastor, or during evening services. Normally, Pastor's have Doctorate's in Theology degrees, so if they aren't called "Pastor" then it's "Dr. such and such". But I believe that most Pastor's receive their "Doctorate" degrees online these days....no I'm not talking about taking their classes online, I'm talking about going online and typing their name in and paying for a piece of paper that will say that they earned a Doctorate in Theology when they really didn't earn it. You know, faking it. Some even get their sermons online. No joke.

Hot mess! eek

That would totally be illegal in Europe, especially a bureaucratic country like Germany: you have to have proof documents, grade reports, certfications and state notarizations coming out of your nose just to sweep a fish market floor in this dang country. If they looked that mess up and saw you trying to lead a church with an honorary doctorate you bought online, you would be jailed for fraud. They're embracing online degrees from other countries (particularly the UK) but there is definitely criteria for what qualifies as accepted certification, and you still have to provide proof of what you actually did lol

But you know what I'm wondering? For churches that allow those kind of pimps in their pulpit, my question to them is this: how could these self-proclaimed pastors possibly be capable of teaching the Word if they haven't studied pre-requisite Greek and Hebrew, to properly explain the meaning of what's written Scripture to the congregation? A lot of what's written in Scripture wouldn't be so mistranslated (or even misrepresented) if people took many of the original Hebrew or Greek verbs into proper context before they put their spin on what the Word is telling us in the English translation.

The Bible is a very complicated piece of reading that is not (always) literal. So much of it is metaphorical and requires comprehensive knowledge of world history & ancient geography to properly understand situational context of the events taking place in the bible. One also has to have a firm hand on philosophy, a good dose of political science ,and so on. This is clearly (one of the reasons) why we have so many church scandals and churches rotten to the core; we got the blind leading the blind and making stuff up along the way, playing by the rules they've randomly made up by themselves, partnered with zero accountability. disbelief

I am one who has never been a fan of all that goes into church "infrastructure" where organized religion is concerned (because if not diligent, you lose the focus on Christ and get caught up in inner politics- as did our forbearers the Pharisees), but Chile...there has to be accountability and good stewardship. It might sound a little harsh of me to say, but if any church is simple enough to just hire any Tom Dick and Harry off the street to shephard their flock without properly confirming credentials, then they can't be shocked nor surprised if they end up getting fleeced. There are specific passages in the Bible that say very clearly that those who lead the church have to be held to a higher and more stringent standard, and if folks aren't even holding them to that standard in terms of their biblical & spiritual literacy??? disbelief

When we were searching for a new pastor a couple years back, not only did we pray as a church that God would find the right fit for us, but... we had to get pro-active in the process! Dude had to jump through some serious hoops to get the job. Out of all the candidates, when the Church Council (the governing body) whittled it down to one, they had 6 month vetting process. As a congregation that part of the process they handled on their own because when we voted them in, it's pretty much a go that we trust their individual and collective judgement (and reasoning skills), and well... that's what they're there for, lol

Now comes the system of checks and balances: Then dude's credentials were brought before the congregation in a church membership meeting to review his CV (Curriculum Vitae) which was 3 pages long front and back, with anyone allowed to check, verify, or even object to anything they didn't understand or needed further clarification on. In a separate member meeting the congregation then interviewed the Church Council collectively and individually on why this person was chosen. Then in another 2 meetings the congregation had the opportunity to grill the potential pastor in via conference call on Skype about his CV, his stand on certain scriptural issues, how he views Christianity in relation to other religions of the world (cause on top of everything else we to make sure we weren't bringing in a bigot), etc. This all factors in how each individual church member chooses to vote for or against hiring this dude in a democratic, blind ballot election at a final meeting...with ballots counted in front of the entire church, and overseen by the Board of Trustees. See? transparency and accountability lol !

But have you ever been to one of those crazy churches with these Office Max preachers? I would love to go see one just to sit and pick out holes in his sermon, 'cause you know there are going to be some! No not some, but ALOT. falloff falloff falloff

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Reply #17 posted 04/06/12 4:52am

chocolate1

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missfee said:

I've heard it. I'm Baptist and the head of the church is called Pastor while their wives are called "The First Lady of the church". Don't know why or who made that rule, but I've heard it all my life. It's only used though if it's the Pastor's anniversary or the church anniversary though. Otherwise, the Pastor's wife is called just that, the "pastor's wife". lol The "Reverend's" and "Minister's" are usually the associate minister's who sit on the pulpit and preach in the absence of the Pastor, or during evening services. Normally, Pastor's have Doctorate's in Theology degrees, so if they aren't called "Pastor" then it's "Dr. such and such". But I believe that most Pastor's receive their "Doctorate" degrees online these days....no I'm not talking about taking their classes online, I'm talking about going online and typing their name in and paying for a piece of paper that will say that they earned a Doctorate in Theology when they really didn't earn it. You know, faking it. Some even get their sermons online. No joke.

  • I'm A.M.E., and we always refer to the pastor's wife as "The First Lady".
  • Pastors who have attended seminary and earned a D.Min or Doctorate in Theology are referred to as "Rev. Dr. ___". They cannot pastor a church without at least a Masters in Theology.
  • Our Bishops are elected. I never understood how other denominations just suddenly start calling someone a Bishop because he's old or been at a church for a long time.
  • A Bishop's wife is called a "Mother" of the church.


"Love Hurts.
Your lies, they cut me.
Now your words don't mean a thing.
I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..."

-Cher, "Woman's World"
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Reply #18 posted 04/06/12 4:58am

missfee

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@Ottensen, Chile, you've described a very thorough checks and balance system in which the candidate MUST WORK to earn their position in the church as Pastor. You are exactly right, most churches don't even do this to the extreme. Know why? Because the so-called "chiefs" in the church (the ones who shout until eternity on Sunday morning but raise hell and Cain himself in church meetings, on the job and everywhere else on the other days of the week) are so desperate to have a Pastor that they can brag on and worship (instead of God) based on his swagger and looks instead of his true sincerity and belief in the faith.

I left the church I grew up in about 4 or 5 years ago. That church nearly destroyed my faith. When I first joined at a young age, the Pastor there had been pastoring the church for about 50+ years. So he was well respected, sincere, old school, everything. Then when he passed, they went through the Pastor search process and brought in a new Pastor. Everything was okay for 7 years...then all of a sudden on the church anniversary, he didn't show up. Want to know what happened? I kid you not. He was arrested for a DUI and it wasn't his first DUI. Few weeks later, he was arrested again. This time for prostituting himself for sex while crossdressing. YES I KID YOU NOT!!! He was walking down "prostitute row" dressed as a woman, soliciting men to have sex with him for money. It was so embarrassing, the newspapers had his mugshot on the front page and everything. Obviously, he had a serious problem...and he was in denial about it because he still felt that he should remain Pastor of the church. rolleyes No he needed to go to a rehabilitation facility. The church did give him a chance and offered to pay for him to get help...his response? "The only person who can help me is God so the only thing I need to do is pray on it". As a result, he had to go. He refused to step down so our church voted for him to leave and then he had no choice but to go. The congregation was nearly destroyed by this as people who were friends for years turned on each other. Some of the congregation even left and followed him when he created a new church (while still doing his dirt in the dark).

Believe me, I know people make mistakes and shouldn't be chastised by them, but when you are a leader in a church, even though you are still human, you are supposed to lead by example. You are held to a higher standard. It's one thing when you make a mistake and learn from it and take steps to correct it, but its a whole different story when you make a mistake and do nothing to correct it.

So the church had an interim Pastor for a while to replace the crossdressing one, then finally did another search for a permanent Pastor. This time, a young Pastor was chosen. At first he was really great. His preaching was awesome and a lot of youth and young adults joined our church. For the first time, there was a balance between the old school members and new young members. That is until our new young Pastor started showing his true colors and started pitting the congregation against each other. The young members AGAINST the old members. Then the Pastor started saying outraegous things while preaching his sermon that I just could not believe and had me at eek such as "if you don't tithe, you are going to hell", "since God placed me here, you are supposed to be obedient to me and the vision God has given me, if you choose not to be obedient then you are a devil". And that wasn't all. If you disagreed with his views on how the church should be run, then he would have police escorts waiting Sunday morning to keep you from entering the church. AGAIN, I KID YOU NOT. This is very true. If you decided to leave the church and go elsewhere, but you were one who did not agree with the Pastor's view, and say for instance someone passed who was still in our church and you wanted to attend the funeral, he would call the police to have you escorted off the church property. How was he able to do this? I have no idea to this very day. He turned into a dictator and wanted to turn our church into a mega church. rolleyes I couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave. My family stayed and wanted to "fight" to get their church back from this sadistic Pastor, but honestly, its way too many churches around to stay in one where God is nowhere to be found in it. I eventually found and joined another church, which is the one I attend now that I'm very happy at.

[Edited 4/6/12 5:04am]

Cause I'm fabulous and I live a fabulous life. batting eyes
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Reply #19 posted 04/06/12 7:25am

Ottensen

missfee said:

@Ottensen, Chile, you've described a very thorough checks and balance system in which the candidate MUST WORK to earn their position in the church as Pastor. You are exactly right, most churches don't even do this to the extreme. Know why? Because the so-called "chiefs" in the church (the ones who shout until eternity on Sunday morning but raise hell and Cain himself in church meetings, on the job and everywhere else on the other days of the week) are so desperate to have a Pastor that they can brag on and worship (instead of God) based on his swagger and looks instead of his true sincerity and belief in the faith.

I left the church I grew up in about 4 or 5 years ago. That church nearly destroyed my faith. When I first joined at a young age, the Pastor there had been pastoring the church for about 50+ years. So he was well respected, sincere, old school, everything. Then when he passed, they went through the Pastor search process and brought in a new Pastor. Everything was okay for 7 years...then all of a sudden on the church anniversary, he didn't show up. Want to know what happened? I kid you not. He was arrested for a DUI and it wasn't his first DUI. Few weeks later, he was arrested again. This time for prostituting himself for sex while crossdressing. YES I KID YOU NOT!!! He was walking down "prostitute row" dressed as a woman, soliciting men to have sex with him for money. It was so embarrassing, the newspapers had his mugshot on the front page and everything. Obviously, he had a serious problem...and he was in denial about it because he still felt that he should remain Pastor of the church. rolleyes No he needed to go to a rehabilitation facility. The church did give him a chance and offered to pay for him to get help...his response? "The only person who can help me is God so the only thing I need to do is pray on it". As a result, he had to go. He refused to step down so our church voted for him to leave and then he had no choice but to go. The congregation was nearly destroyed by this as people who were friends for years turned on each other. Some of the congregation even left and followed him when he created a new church (while still doing his dirt in the dark).

Believe me, I know people make mistakes and shouldn't be chastised by them, but when you are a leader in a church, even though you are still human, you are supposed to lead by example. You are held to a higher standard. It's one thing when you make a mistake and learn from it and take steps to correct it, but its a whole different story when you make a mistake and do nothing to correct it.

So the church had an interim Pastor for a while to replace the crossdressing one, then finally did another search for a permanent Pastor. This time, a young Pastor was chosen. At first he was really great. His preaching was awesome and a lot of youth and young adults joined our church. For the first time, there was a balance between the old school members and new young members. That is until our new young Pastor started showing his true colors and started pitting the congregation against each other. The young members AGAINST the old members. Then the Pastor started saying outraegous things while preaching his sermon that I just could not believe and had me at eek such as "if you don't tithe, you are going to hell", "since God placed me here, you are supposed to be obedient to me and the vision God has given me, if you choose not to be obedient then you are a devil". And that wasn't all. If you disagreed with his views on how the church should be run, then he would have police escorts waiting Sunday morning to keep you from entering the church. AGAIN, I KID YOU NOT. This is very true. If you decided to leave the church and go elsewhere, but you were one who did not agree with the Pastor's view, and say for instance someone passed who was still in our church and you wanted to attend the funeral, he would call the police to have you escorted off the church property. How was he able to do this? I have no idea to this very day. He turned into a dictator and wanted to turn our church into a mega church. rolleyes I couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave. My family stayed and wanted to "fight" to get their church back from this sadistic Pastor, but honestly, its way too many churches around to stay in one where God is nowhere to be found in it. I eventually found and joined another church, which is the one I attend now that I'm very happy at.

[Edited 4/6/12 5:04am]

DANG!!!!!! eek eek eek

popcorn This could be turned into a Movie! popcorn

But for real, know who that crazy pastor sounds like? Powerful pastors who eventually became cult leaders like David Koresh and Jim Jones. Did you ever see the documentaries on Jonestown? Shoot, if they start serving Kool-Aid at that church you better tell your family and friends they better get the hell outta Dodge!

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Reply #20 posted 04/06/12 7:34am

Ottensen

chocolate1 said:

missfee said:

I've heard it. I'm Baptist and the head of the church is called Pastor while their wives are called "The First Lady of the church". Don't know why or who made that rule, but I've heard it all my life. It's only used though if it's the Pastor's anniversary or the church anniversary though. Otherwise, the Pastor's wife is called just that, the "pastor's wife". lol The "Reverend's" and "Minister's" are usually the associate minister's who sit on the pulpit and preach in the absence of the Pastor, or during evening services. Normally, Pastor's have Doctorate's in Theology degrees, so if they aren't called "Pastor" then it's "Dr. such and such". But I believe that most Pastor's receive their "Doctorate" degrees online these days....no I'm not talking about taking their classes online, I'm talking about going online and typing their name in and paying for a piece of paper that will say that they earned a Doctorate in Theology when they really didn't earn it. You know, faking it. Some even get their sermons online. No joke.

  • I'm A.M.E., and we always refer to the pastor's wife as "The First Lady".
  • Pastors who have attended seminary and earned a D.Min or Doctorate in Theology are referred to as "Rev. Dr. ___". They cannot pastor a church without at least a Masters in Theology.
  • Our Bishops are elected. I never understood how other denominations just suddenly start calling someone a Bishop because he's old or been at a church for a long time.
  • A Bishop's wife is called a "Mother" of the church.

This is the way I've always understood it to be, even in Baptist church. Although the Baptist church I attend here in Germany is VERY informal (we wear plainclothes, jeans, sneakers, etc.) due to it's international nature; our congregation is represented by 60 different countries around the world of every race, color and Christian denominational creed, and everyone just calls each other by their first names, including the pastors. But in spite of our informal day to day way of carrying ourselves, when it comes to matters of leadership and ministry roles, everything is pretty formalized with full transparency and a system of checks and balances for accountability.

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Reply #21 posted 04/06/12 7:37am

missfee

avatar

Ottensen said:

missfee said:

@Ottensen, Chile, you've described a very thorough checks and balance system in which the candidate MUST WORK to earn their position in the church as Pastor. You are exactly right, most churches don't even do this to the extreme. Know why? Because the so-called "chiefs" in the church (the ones who shout until eternity on Sunday morning but raise hell and Cain himself in church meetings, on the job and everywhere else on the other days of the week) are so desperate to have a Pastor that they can brag on and worship (instead of God) based on his swagger and looks instead of his true sincerity and belief in the faith.

I left the church I grew up in about 4 or 5 years ago. That church nearly destroyed my faith. When I first joined at a young age, the Pastor there had been pastoring the church for about 50+ years. So he was well respected, sincere, old school, everything. Then when he passed, they went through the Pastor search process and brought in a new Pastor. Everything was okay for 7 years...then all of a sudden on the church anniversary, he didn't show up. Want to know what happened? I kid you not. He was arrested for a DUI and it wasn't his first DUI. Few weeks later, he was arrested again. This time for prostituting himself for sex while crossdressing. YES I KID YOU NOT!!! He was walking down "prostitute row" dressed as a woman, soliciting men to have sex with him for money. It was so embarrassing, the newspapers had his mugshot on the front page and everything. Obviously, he had a serious problem...and he was in denial about it because he still felt that he should remain Pastor of the church. rolleyes No he needed to go to a rehabilitation facility. The church did give him a chance and offered to pay for him to get help...his response? "The only person who can help me is God so the only thing I need to do is pray on it". As a result, he had to go. He refused to step down so our church voted for him to leave and then he had no choice but to go. The congregation was nearly destroyed by this as people who were friends for years turned on each other. Some of the congregation even left and followed him when he created a new church (while still doing his dirt in the dark).

Believe me, I know people make mistakes and shouldn't be chastised by them, but when you are a leader in a church, even though you are still human, you are supposed to lead by example. You are held to a higher standard. It's one thing when you make a mistake and learn from it and take steps to correct it, but its a whole different story when you make a mistake and do nothing to correct it.

So the church had an interim Pastor for a while to replace the crossdressing one, then finally did another search for a permanent Pastor. This time, a young Pastor was chosen. At first he was really great. His preaching was awesome and a lot of youth and young adults joined our church. For the first time, there was a balance between the old school members and new young members. That is until our new young Pastor started showing his true colors and started pitting the congregation against each other. The young members AGAINST the old members. Then the Pastor started saying outraegous things while preaching his sermon that I just could not believe and had me at eek such as "if you don't tithe, you are going to hell", "since God placed me here, you are supposed to be obedient to me and the vision God has given me, if you choose not to be obedient then you are a devil". And that wasn't all. If you disagreed with his views on how the church should be run, then he would have police escorts waiting Sunday morning to keep you from entering the church. AGAIN, I KID YOU NOT. This is very true. If you decided to leave the church and go elsewhere, but you were one who did not agree with the Pastor's view, and say for instance someone passed who was still in our church and you wanted to attend the funeral, he would call the police to have you escorted off the church property. How was he able to do this? I have no idea to this very day. He turned into a dictator and wanted to turn our church into a mega church. rolleyes I couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave. My family stayed and wanted to "fight" to get their church back from this sadistic Pastor, but honestly, its way too many churches around to stay in one where God is nowhere to be found in it. I eventually found and joined another church, which is the one I attend now that I'm very happy at.

[Edited 4/6/12 5:04am]

DANG!!!!!! eek eek eek

popcorn This could be turned into a Movie! popcorn

But for real, know who that crazy pastor sounds like? Powerful pastors who eventually became cult leaders like David Koresh and Jim Jones. Did you ever see the documentaries on Jonestown? Shoot, if they start serving Kool-Aid at that church you better tell your family and friends they better get the hell outta Dodge!

Pretty much. nod But my family has left that insane church. The other members who left as well formed another church that was similar to how our church was back before the crossdressing drunk and the TD Jakes wannabe. The problem with that is that it comprised of mostly the older and old minded members. That church is slow as hell and I feel like I'm at a funeral when I visit there. When I was looking for other churches to go to, my family assumed that I was going to follow suit with them and join this church, but they were mistaken. I found the church I go to now and joined it. My family were upset with me, but as I told them, they would have to get over it. Its unfair for them to want me to attend the same church that they go to, just because they want all the family worshipping together at the same place. Umm it's 2012 not 1912. I only visit their church when it's mother's day or women's day or whatever, but hell no, I had no plans in joining a church where there were too many chiefs and not enough indians. And guess what? Their "congregation formed" church is looking for a Pastor. faint

[Edited 4/6/12 7:38am]

Cause I'm fabulous and I live a fabulous life. batting eyes
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Reply #22 posted 04/06/12 1:05pm

morningsong

chocolate1 said:

missfee said:

I've heard it. I'm Baptist and the head of the church is called Pastor while their wives are called "The First Lady of the church". Don't know why or who made that rule, but I've heard it all my life. It's only used though if it's the Pastor's anniversary or the church anniversary though. Otherwise, the Pastor's wife is called just that, the "pastor's wife". lol The "Reverend's" and "Minister's" are usually the associate minister's who sit on the pulpit and preach in the absence of the Pastor, or during evening services. Normally, Pastor's have Doctorate's in Theology degrees, so if they aren't called "Pastor" then it's "Dr. such and such". But I believe that most Pastor's receive their "Doctorate" degrees online these days....no I'm not talking about taking their classes online, I'm talking about going online and typing their name in and paying for a piece of paper that will say that they earned a Doctorate in Theology when they really didn't earn it. You know, faking it. Some even get their sermons online. No joke.

  • I'm A.M.E., and we always refer to the pastor's wife as "The First Lady".
  • Pastors who have attended seminary and earned a D.Min or Doctorate in Theology are referred to as "Rev. Dr. ___". They cannot pastor a church without at least a Masters in Theology.
  • Our Bishops are elected. I never understood how other denominations just suddenly start calling someone a Bishop because he's old or been at a church for a long time.
  • A Bishop's wife is called a "Mother" of the church.

Pretty much how it goes with COGIC too. I was under the impression that all longstanding denominations had charters and guidelines. Maybe not.

"Right now, NASA's annual budget is half a penny on your tax dollar. ...—a penny on a dollar—we can transform the country ... , to one where it has reclaimed its 20th century birthright to dream of tomorrow." Tyson
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Reply #23 posted 04/06/12 6:41pm

KingBAD

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KALI my child will wreak havoc on all you love at my command... i am KING BAD!!!
evilking
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Reply #24 posted 04/07/12 4:44am

missfee

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KingBAD said:

falloff clapping

Cause I'm fabulous and I live a fabulous life. batting eyes
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Reply #25 posted 04/07/12 7:07am

Lammastide

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I'm aware of several congregations wherein this sort of thing is slung around. I don't pander to it, and were I pastor or pastor's wife, I'd reject it.

This stuff is the function of honorifics that we attach to leadership in many domains in the world, but Christian examples set throughout the New Testament were possessed of a spirit exactly opposite. Christians repeatedly are called to lead through self-emptying example, servitude and a humility wherein you "count others more significant than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3) That sort of thing might command respect, but it doesn't demand it, expect it or facilitate it through stratifying people with silly ranks.

If anything, I'd think the charge of a pastor -- and arguably his/her partner -- would see them willing to accept themselves as dead last among their flock, except with regard to teaching.

[Edited 4/7/12 7:14am]

"Be excellent to each other." -Bill and Ted
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Reply #26 posted 04/07/12 7:54am

Ottensen

Lammastide said:

I'm aware of several congregations wherein this sort of thing is slung around. I don't pander to it, and were I pastor or pastor's wife, I'd reject it.

This stuff is the function of honorifics that we attach to leadership in many domains in the world, but Christian examples set throughout the New Testament were possessed of a spirit exactly opposite. Christians repeatedly are called to lead through self-emptying example, servitude and a humility wherein you "count others more significant than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3) That sort of thing might command respect, but it doesn't demand it, expect it or facilitate it through stratifying people with silly ranks.

If anything, I'd think the charge of a pastor -- and arguably his/her partner -- would see them willing to accept themselves as dead last among their flock, except with regard to teaching.

[Edited 4/7/12 7:14am]

dancing jig Pastor Lamm dancing jig

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Reply #27 posted 04/07/12 7:58am

Lammastide

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Ottensen said:

Lammastide said:

I'm aware of several congregations wherein this sort of thing is slung around. I don't pander to it, and were I pastor or pastor's wife, I'd reject it.

This stuff is the function of honorifics that we attach to leadership in many domains in the world, but Christian examples set throughout the New Testament were possessed of a spirit exactly opposite. Christians repeatedly are called to lead through self-emptying example, servitude and a humility wherein you "count others more significant than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3) That sort of thing might command respect, but it doesn't demand it, expect it or facilitate it through stratifying people with silly ranks.

If anything, I'd think the charge of a pastor -- and arguably his/her partner -- would see them willing to accept themselves as dead last among their flock, except with regard to teaching.

[Edited 4/7/12 7:14am]

dancing jig Pastor Lamm dancing jig

Trust me, that would soooo not work. lol

"Be excellent to each other." -Bill and Ted
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Reply #28 posted 04/07/12 10:21am

Timmy84

I don't know if Baptists do this, but I know the COGIC sects often have "first ladies". My paternal grandparents were more Hebrew Pentecostals so my grandma was never called a "first lady". But I watched the Clark Sisters' Unsung and apparently, according to Jacky Cullum Chisolm, her mama Mattie was a "First Lady".

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Reply #29 posted 04/07/12 10:28am

Lammastide

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Timmy84 said:

I don't know if Baptists do this...

I was raised in a Baptist congegation, and it was done there. It's not a formal title, so this sort of thing would vary between congregations even within the same denomination.

"Be excellent to each other." -Bill and Ted
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