felt lonely, even though you're surrounded by lots of people?

Even people that love you?

I do.

Anyone here feel me? Can anyone provide tips on how to cope with that?

Yup, I sure have. I’ve felt lonely all alone and lonely surrounded by people.

Usually it means I need to spend some quality time by myself – not wallowing time, happy time. Although I will allow myself some wallow time to – just to get it out of my system. It’s OK to feel bad now and again, just don’t let it go on too long.

After you’ve allowed yourself that, spend time on a hobby you love doing alone (shopping, video games, whatever you like), listen to music that will lift you up, go for walks by yourself, etc.

We'll all die alone, even if were surrounded by others.

Yes

I am sometimes at my loneliness when surrounded by many people.

Right now I am learning to accept the pain of loneliness and not deaden it in any way; not try and make more out of attachments that are not what I wish they were.

Right now I am embracing the pain of my reality.

Pain transforms.

The pain of loneliness is no different from physical pain. It can transform you if you let it.

oh yeah

Yup I've been there and sometimes still end up there now and then. To get out of the rut, I simply just try to think of things that make me happy. Like cooking with the music blasting, going to a happy hour, going to the museum, go to the bookstore and look at magazines or go to the gym. Anything to get my mind off of whatever is causing me to feel lonely. By doing the things that I listed, it cheers me up.

Thanks for the advice, guys...

I could use the mood boost. I'm trying not to let this get to me.

So it ever must be in the conflicting scenes of life, in the long, weary march, each one walks alone. We may have many friends, love, kindness, sympathy and charity, to smooth our pathway in everyday life, but in the tragedies and triumphs of human experience, each mortal stands alone. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Solitude of Self

Yes, people can make you feel lonely, or at least aware of the kind of relationships that you wish you had.

Being surrounded by family at the holidays used to be the most depressing thing in the world to me. Not anymore, but it used to kill me partly because it was supposed to be such a happy time and I was not happy, and that made me even less happy.

That's how I feel now, even my interactions on FBK is minimal at best. Most of my friends have their own families and lives and I don't. I'm not sullen over this as I keep on living and working but I would be nice to talk to someone eevery once in a while.

Genesia said:

So it ever must be in the conflicting scenes of life, in the long, weary march, each one walks alone. We may have many friends, love, kindness, sympathy and charity, to smooth our pathway in everyday life, but in the tragedies and triumphs of human experience, each mortal stands alone. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Solitude of Self

That's inspiring. Thanks, Genesia...

NDRU said:

Yes, people can make you feel lonely, or at least aware of the kind of relationships that you wish you had.

Being surrounded by family at the holidays used to be the most depressing thing in the world to me. Not anymore, but it used to kill me partly because it was supposed to be such a happy time and I was not happy, and that made me even less happy.

I think that's what's happening with me. I need to combat that...

I'm glad the holidays are not as painful to spend with your family as it used to be.

I think I used to feel that way. But then my perspective shifted and now I'm ultra-glad that my happiness isn't dependent on anyone else. I often quote About a Boy:

WILL

Look, mate, nothing you do can make

your mum happy, all right? Not in the

long term. She has to do that for herself.

What I'm saying is, the important thing is

to make yourself feel happy.

MARCUS

I've tried just making myself happy.

She's tried making herself happy. It

doesn't work. You need other people

to make you happy.

WILL

But that's just it. If other people can

make you happy then they can also

make you unhappy.

Words to live by.

NDRU said:

Yes, people can make you feel lonely, or at least aware of the kind of relationships that you wish you had.

Being surrounded by family at the holidays used to be the most depressing thing in the world to me. Not anymore, but it used to kill me partly because it was supposed to be such a happy time and I was not happy, and that made me even less happy.

It has always been with my biological family that I have fell into the deepest well of loneliness and emptyness.

They say in death you join up with all your deceased relatives in Heaven. I could easily be spared this experience. If they could not validate my existence in life why spend eternity with them. They only loved me and acknowledged my existence when I did something to make them proud , i.e. got outside awards or compliments "your daughter is so pretty". On the average day I was just one more burden, one more intrusion into their T.V. time etc.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

NDRU said:

Yes, people can make you feel lonely, or at least aware of the kind of relationships that you wish you had.

Being surrounded by family at the holidays used to be the most depressing thing in the world to me. Not anymore, but it used to kill me partly because it was supposed to be such a happy time and I was not happy, and that made me even less happy.

I think that's what's happening with me. I need to combat that...

I'm glad the holidays are not as painful to spend with your family as it used to be.

Now I don't see them as often so it's nice to get together

Plus, I have found love so there is not that empty space (or at least it is not quite as big)

But I used to look at the rest of my family/friends, and they all seemed so happy. I thought I was the only one who felt lonely. Now I know that is not true, but to laugh and smile actually makes a person feel better. I have learned to not wallow in the loneliness like I used to do.

Deadflow3r said:

NDRU said:

Yes, people can make you feel lonely, or at least aware of the kind of relationships that you wish you had.

Being surrounded by family at the holidays used to be the most depressing thing in the world to me. Not anymore, but it used to kill me partly because it was supposed to be such a happy time and I was not happy, and that made me even less happy.

It has always been with my biological family that I have fell into the deepest well of loneliness and emptyness.

They say in death you join up with all your deceased relatives in Heaven. I could easily be spared this experience. If they could not validate my existence in life why spend eternity with them. They only loved me and acknowledged my existence when I did something to make them proud , i.e. got outside awards or compliments "your daughter is so pretty". On the average day I was just one more burden, one more intrusion into their T.V. time etc.

I don't know what your family is like, but I know my family is not who I would want to spend the majority of my time with.

I like them just fine, but I'd rather be with a significant other more than my mother (sorry mom!)

But it gets a lot easier to not feel resentment toward them as I get older

NDRU said:

Deadflow3r said:

It has always been with my biological family that I have fell into the deepest well of loneliness and emptyness.

They say in death you join up with all your deceased relatives in Heaven. I could easily be spared this experience. If they could not validate my existence in life why spend eternity with them. They only loved me and acknowledged my existence when I did something to make them proud , i.e. got outside awards or compliments "your daughter is so pretty". On the average day I was just one more burden, one more intrusion into their T.V. time etc.

I don't know what your family is like, but I know my family is not who I would want to spend the majority of my time with.

I like them just fine, but I'd rather be with a significant other more than my mother (sorry mom!)

But it gets a lot easier to not feel resentment toward them as I get older

Strangely much of these feelings have come to me very recently; my mother died in 2003 and my father in 2006.

sometimes I feel less lonely when I'm alone, happy with my own company than when I am surrounded by my family.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Thanks for the advice, guys...

I could use the mood boost. I'm trying not to let this get to me.

i think everyone feels like this at least once in a while.

NDRU said:

Yes, people can make you feel lonely, or at least aware of the kind of relationships that you wish you had.

Being surrounded by family at the holidays used to be the most depressing thing in the world to me. Not anymore, but it used to kill me partly because it was supposed to be such a happy time and I was not happy, and that made me even less happy.

That kinda how I feel at times... Like others have said, spending time alone, doing things purely to satisfy yourself can help (it does with me)

i'm here by the grace of a 'concept' of GOD

and since i've come to rely on this concept

i have not been bored or lonely, where as

when i had whut i thought i wanted and was

'havin my way' i seldom felt a part of much

of anything.

"lonely is the head that wears the crown"

even when around family and so called friends

there was a void between me and them.

i blame it on a lack of spiritual ballance...

All the time, sweetie.....all the time...

Not lonely as much as annoyed by most people and their selfish bitchy selves that are completely self centered a-holes. (That wasn't directed at anyone here-A just in general statement-FYI)

CarrieMpls said:

Yup, I sure have. I’ve felt lonely all alone and lonely surrounded by people.

Usually it means I need to spend some quality time by myself – not wallowing time, happy time. Although I will allow myself some wallow time to – just to get it out of my system. It’s OK to feel bad now and again, just don’t let it go on too long.

After you’ve allowed yourself that, spend time on a hobby you love doing alone (shopping, video games, whatever you like), listen to music that will lift you up, go for walks by yourself, etc.

I agree with all of this. It's usually what I do.

I actually notice I feel lonelier in large groups of people.. usually because they always ignore me. I always get really depressed around Thanksgiving, which is when my whole extended family gets together, and nobody ever acknowledges me..

often

and its deep and its dark and it cuts..............................

Spend some quality alone time. Do something you enjoy or treat yourself to something nice like a massage or a nice purchase. Take a road trip if possible and jam to your fav music. Sometimes people need time alone to just think and process what it is that has them feeling lonely. Also, not being aware of the weather in your neck of the woods, get some sun. Sunshine is a mood booster! Many women are deficient in Vitamin D.

CrabalockerFishwife said:

CarrieMpls said:

Yup, I sure have. I’ve felt lonely all alone and lonely surrounded by people.

Usually it means I need to spend some quality time by myself – not wallowing time, happy time. Although I will allow myself some wallow time to – just to get it out of my system. It’s OK to feel bad now and again, just don’t let it go on too long.

After you’ve allowed yourself that, spend time on a hobby you love doing alone (shopping, video games, whatever you like), listen to music that will lift you up, go for walks by yourself, etc.

[Edited 3/3/12 17:32pm]

NDRU said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I think that's what's happening with me. I need to combat that...

I'm glad the holidays are not as painful to spend with your family as it used to be.

Now I don't see them as often so it's nice to get together

Plus, I have found love so there is not that empty space (or at least it is not quite as big)

But I used to look at the rest of my family/friends, and they all seemed so happy. I thought I was the only one who felt lonely. Now I know that is not true, but to laugh and smile actually makes a person feel better. I have learned to not wallow in the loneliness like I used to do.

Some of us wear our hearts on our sleeves while others are skilled at masking our pain. I've met several people who were married, had kids, a great job, popularity, the whole 9 yards. They are always smiling and appear upbeat. Yet, in reality, they are lonely and depressed. I used to work with a woman who appeared to have it all. Everyone thought she was such a ray of sunshine. Or so we all thought. I ended up talking her out of committing suicide once. I was surprised to hear her say despite having so many folks around her, she felt so lonely.

Yeah and I love that feeling now lol