I can't believe I clicked on this thread.

I've heard versions of the gerbil story in a few different contexts. I'm sure this sort of thing has happened, but I'm skeptical anymore of these "I knew a guy who knew a guy..." accounts. Nonetheless, I know a girl who knows some people....

A cousin of mine is an emergency room nurse in Boston, and she reports having seen many cases where a patient has lost an item in a bodily orifice. The cases usually involve fruits and vegetables, writing implements, small balls of various sorts, small tools (she once says she saw a claw-tooth hammer, believe it or not) and bottles. Never, thank God, any animals. She says the cases usually do have some sexual backstory, but, contrary to speculation, most of them involve heterosexual sex or solo activity.

The oddest story involved a mentally impaired patient. She came in complaining of another accidental injury, the nature of which I can't recall. (Let's just say... I dunno... a sprained wrist for the sake of storytelling.) Anyway, as the patient reported why she did whatever she did to sprain her wrist, she kept insisting "the people in my vagina told me to do it." At first the ER staff chalked this up to delusion, but the patient kept insisting. They ordered an X-ray, and, sure enough, the patient had lodged several Lego figures up into her vagina. They weren't stuck -- and apparently they were causing no great concern or discomfort to the patient -- but they'd apparently been there awhile.

[Edited 7/7/11 6:52am]

tinaz said:

Lammastide said:

The oddest story involved a mentally impaired patient. She came in complaining of another accidental injury, the nature of which I can't recall. (Let's just say... I dunno... a sprained wrist for the sake of storytelling.) Anyway, as the patient reported why she did whatever she did to sprain her wrist, she kept insisting "the people in my vagina told me to do it." At first the ER staff chalked this up to delusion, but the patient kept insisting. They ordered an X-ray, and, sure enough, the patient had lodged several Lego figures up into her vagina. They weren't stuck -- and apparently they were causing no great concern or discomfort to the patient -- but they'd apparently been there awhile.

[Edited 7/7/11 6:52am]

NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!

story I know from a med student:

A guy was brought in because he had shoved a vibrator so far up, that he lost it and couldn't get it out.

The docs were all mildly amused of course, but hid it,

they had the guy on the table as they reached in with an instrument to grip it and pull it out. As soon as the instrument reached the vibrator and tapped it, it turned on, and the victim let out a MOAN.

One of the doctors had to leave the room because he started laughing uncontrollably.

ufoclub said:

story I know from a med student:

A guy was brought in because he had shoved a vibrator so far up, that he lost it and couldn't get it out.

The docs were all mildly amused of course, but hid it,

they had the guy on the table as they reached in with an instrument to grip it and pull it out. As soon as the instrument reached the vibrator and tapped it, it turned on, and the victim let out a MOAN.

One of the doctors had to leave the room because he started laughing uncontrollably.

only one of them had to leave the room??!!. omg hysterical...

sounds like a great way to poison your insides in several different ways

ufoclub said:

story I know from a med student:

A guy was brought in because he had shoved a vibrator so far up, that he lost it and couldn't get it out.

The docs were all mildly amused of course, but hid it,

they had the guy on the table as they reached in with an instrument to grip it and pull it out. As soon as the instrument reached the vibrator and tapped it, it turned on, and the victim let out a MOAN.

One of the doctors had to leave the room because he started laughing uncontrollably.

I won't let anybody, of any sex, stick anything up my ass and that includes the doctor also. But I used to joke with my doctor (a female) for years whenever she'd ask me if I was brave enough to do the finger test yet. We had our same little routine and conversation every year. Me telling her no and her trying to talk me into it by telling me that it will only hurt going in but once she gets it inside, then it won't hurt. I tell her every year that if I ever get brave enough, her patients in the waiting room are going to be hearing two things. The first thing is me hollering at the top of my lungs in pain. And when she gets it inside and it no longer hurts (which I don't believe), then I'm going to start rolling my ass in a circular motion and start moaning like it feels good....."Oooh.......OOOOOOOOOOOH Doctor!.....Do it to me....Do it to me.......Do it to me......OOOOOOOH Shiiiiiiiit!!!!!!"

I used to have her and her staff cracking up every time I went for a doctor visit. But I tell ya, they'll probably have to put me to sleep whenever a doctor insists on putting his/her finger up my ass.

This fucking thread.

What would have happened if the gerbil coughed or puked? What if the gerbil had been a pregnant gerbil and gave birth to her babies in the dude's ass? These are serious questions.

ufoclub said:

story I know from a med student:

A guy was brought in because he had shoved a vibrator so far up, that he lost it and couldn't get it out.

The docs were all mildly amused of course, but hid it,

they had the guy on the table as they reached in with an instrument to grip it and pull it out. As soon as the instrument reached the vibrator and tapped it, it turned on, and the victim let out a MOAN.

One of the doctors had to leave the room because he started laughing uncontrollably.

!!!!!!

Actually this sexual pleasureable gerbil thing is a bit common. My mom has a distant relative who was a pretty boy and worked as an escort to men. Once his mother had to drive him to the ambulance when he came home with a gerbil stuck in his ass. However he lived, as the docs were able to remove the gerbil from his rectum.

missfee said:

Actually this sexual pleasureable gerbil thing is a bit common. My mom has a distant relative who was a pretty boy and worked as an escort to men. Once his mother had to drive him to the ambulance when he came home with a gerbil stuck in his ass. However he lived, as the docs were able to remove the gerbil from his rectum.

I hope he charged extra.

Lammastide said:

I can't believe I clicked on this thread.

I've heard versions of the gerbil story in a few different contexts. I'm sure this sort of thing has happened, but I'm skeptical anymore of these "I knew a guy who knew a guy..." accounts. Nonetheless, I know a girl who knows some people....

A cousin of mine is an emergency room nurse in Boston, and she reports having seen many cases where a patient has lost an item in a bodily orifice. The cases usually involve fruits and vegetables, writing implements, small balls of various sorts, small tools (she once says she saw a claw-tooth hammer, believe it or not) and bottles. Never, thank God, any animals. She says the cases usually do have some sexual backstory, but, contrary to speculation, most of them involve heterosexual sex or solo activity.

The oddest story involved a mentally impaired patient. She came in complaining of another accidental injury, the nature of which I can't recall. (Let's just say... I dunno... a sprained wrist for the sake of storytelling.) Anyway, as the patient reported why she did whatever she did to sprain her wrist, she kept insisting "the people in my vagina told me to do it." At first the ER staff chalked this up to delusion, but the patient kept insisting. They ordered an X-ray, and, sure enough, the patient had lodged several Lego figures up into her vagina. They weren't stuck -- and apparently they were causing no great concern or discomfort to the patient -- but they'd apparently been there awhile.

[Edited 7/7/11 6:52am]

PopeLeo said:

[img:$uid]http://i446.photobucket.com/albums/qq186/tjhayter/Gerbil-in-my-Ass.jpg[/img:$uid]

lmao, that is just too much.

Great thread *thumbs up*

This might be another urban legend though... along with the "hotdog girl" that just happens to be in every school.

Someones been watching too much South Park.

vainandy said:

That ambulance driver used to tell me some hilarious stories. He said one time these two guys were fucking and the top guy's dick swelled up inside the bottom guys ass and got stuck. They had to wheel both of them on a strecher butt naked with a sheet over them through the Emergency Room waiting room. Could you just imagine the look on some soccer mom's face waiting for her child that got hurt?

I used to work in a Hospital and I heard a similar story, but it involved not another guy, but a small dog

Sure it wasn't you vainandy? Poor gerbil....I once wrote about a gerbil too

and lmao @ doctors leaving the room from laughing so hard

Why would ANYONE put a gerbil up their ass in the first fucking place?!

Timmy84 said:

Why would ANYONE put a gerbil up their ass in the first fucking place?!

For real. I feel bad for these damn animals, if a human ain't fucking them up with physical abuse, they are fucking them up with their ass air.

Not the same, but I was dancing to MJ 2 years ago after being rusty and I tore a ligament at the top of my leg near my crotch area. It was bugging me so I went to emerg and when I told them I was dancing and something clicked and I screamed in pain, they asked me what I was doing and looked like they wanted to say something more when I said dancing. I was wondering if they thought I was trying to be MJ it was July 2009 after all, I wonder if I came up at anyone's dinner table. All they said was not to dance for a few weeks and I ended up almost in tears cause I was exhausted from the long wait and use dance to de-stress and couldn't anymore.