ARE FAIR-WEATHER FRIENDS BETTER THAN...

having no friends at all?

and what are they better than?
[Edited 10/31/09 3:15am]

are they the kinds of friends who are only around when times are good and make themselves scarce when you actually need them?

ZombieKitten said:

i haven't got any friends. it doesn't bother me much. i think i would prefer that to fair-weather friends.

whistle said:

Rightly said:

ZombieKitten said:

are they the kinds of friends who are only around when times are good and make themselves scarce when you actually need them?

yeh, that's what I mean
I don't tolerate them but so many people seem to do just that.

I live in a bit of an artsy-fartsy enviroment (actually, I think the impulse to express 1self creatively is a natural one)

I see so many smart, and at times, talented people surround themselves by these friendly vampiric types. I don't get the point there.

Makes me wonder if I'm wrong and maybe far too exclusive with who I have around.
Lately on more than 1 occaision I've been written off as a "misanthropist".

I dunno. Some self-doubt is said to be healthy.
You didn't answer m'question. Pretty one

ZombieKitten said:

Rightly said:

yeh, that's what I mean
I don't tolerate them but so many people seem to do just that.

I live in a bit of an artsy-fartsy enviroment (actually, I think the impulse to express 1self creatively is a natural one)

I see so many smart, and at times, talented people surround themselves by these friendly vampiric types. I don't get the point there.

Makes me wonder if I'm wrong and maybe far too exclusive with who I have around.
Lately on more than 1 occaision I've been written off as a "misanthropist".

I dunno. Some self-doubt is said to be healthy.
You didn't answer m'question. Pretty one

I just wanted to be sure what you were asking first! I'd never heard the fair weather term

I have only a very few friends, so far times haven't been so tough I've relied on their support, so maybe in my case I just don't know yet?

A story... by deadmansbones...

I'm ashamed to say, I had a friend who dumped me over the summer!

We got in a HUGE fight over absolutely nothing last year--our first in nearly a decade of happy friendship. I was at fault to a large degree, but so was she. I apologized. She never did. I thought we were doing OK. We were supposed to meet for lunch, then I get this email saying she can't be my friend anymore because of what happened. At first I responded by taking all the blame--like I always do. I wanted to meet her so we could talk about it because we had never really TALKED about what happened. I was really, really hurt because we had been friends for a long time. I just thought I was the biggest piece of shit.

But then, after thinking about it, this friend never ONCE took any responsibility for HER part in our disagreement. I mean she felt "betrayed" but she never took any responsibility for betraying me. She just didn't like it that I called her out on betraying me. And in her little email, she rewrote history, not recalling all of the facts accurately. Well... this whole disagreement took place on email, and I saved the emails (it stemmed from a professional situation), more to cover my own butt. I was sure glad I saved them though because reading them again--it had been over a year since "the disagreement" happened and then when she dumped me, helped give me some clarity and comfort.

Anyway, I later cancelled my lunch with her, stating that it would probably be better just to move-on. I told her that I still really cherished our friendship, and if she ever needed anything, I'd still be here. But I wasn't gonna beg her to be my friend. She felt what she felt, and she's entitled to her feelings. I left if open, so if and when we see each other, we can at least be civil! LOL But I just let-go of the friendship even though it hurt me very much.

Well, the moral to this story is as much as it hurt, letting go of that friendship left me open to new friendships. And now...I have more friends than ever! I did learn from what happened though.. believe me. It's not like I'm saying I didn't act like a jerk because I did. I just learned to pick my battles a little more carefully. And I hope I learned to handle things a bit better, starting with the way I handled being "dumped"! LOL

So the moral to this story is that fair-weather friends... come and go obviously. But they still play a role in your life. It's all part of the big picture!

The end...
[Edited 10/31/09 5:28am]

I'd rather have no friends, than be surrounded by phonies...but I'm not really super social anyway. A small group of really wonderful people is best IMO.

Rightly said:

God DAMN there are a lot of dumb motherfuckers walking around! - George Carlin
Stalkerwomen of the world unite in delusion!!!!!

Maybe it's just an ego problem
Problem is I've been fooled before
By fair-weather friends and faint-hearted lovers
And everytime it happens
It just convinces me more


Dr Hook.

Fuck the funk - it's time to ditch the worn-out Vegas horns fills, pick up the geee-tar and finally ROCK THE MUTHA-FUCKER!! He hinted at this on Chaos, now it's time to step up and fully DELIVER!!

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