Best man speech help!?

It's my brothers wedding on Saturday and the speech is not yet written!! I have some ideas but suggestions are welcome!!

What are his hobbies? What does he do for a living or in school? What about her? does she have any special interests?

Are you married? Are there any childhood stories that sum him up? And things that would be appropriately funny to tell?

I have a bit I'm gonna do about how they got together and stuff. which is quite sweet.

Don't want to go down the conquests anecdotage route. How long is the speech supposed to be? I'm new to this shit!!

soulyacolia said:

I have a bit I'm gonna do about how they got together and stuff. which is quite sweet.

Don't want to go down the conquests anecdotage route. How long is the speech supposed to be? I'm new to this shit!!

Keep it short! Brevity is the soul of wit.

And keep it clean! Mixed crowd, old and young.

Google the rest.

soulyacolia said:

I have a bit I'm gonna do about how they got together and stuff. which is quite sweet.

Don't want to go down the conquests anecdotage route. How long is the speech supposed to be? I'm new to this shit!!

I have to do one of these as well in June (for a fellow orger!). However, I have training and boatloads of experience in public speaking, so I am not very worried.

There is an instructional manual for giving toasts (and other speeches), but I can't remember what it is called. For a wedding toast, these are some things you will want to consider:

You generally want to go no longer than 3 minutes.

You should stay away from inside jokes. You and the groom will understand it, but it is likely that most of the people in the crowd will have no clue what you are talking about.

Definitely leave out stuff that would not be said at a normal dinner. Use your discretion, but don't talk about ex-girlfriends, trips to jail, the time you tripped on acid together, etc. For this, type of thing, know your audience. The speeches given at my wedding included stories about me getting drunk, but I do not come from a WASP-y or a Puritan style family where that would turn heads.

I was best man at my buddys wedding a few years back and I did the following.
Before the meal hand out around 20 old door keys to all the guys at the wedding reception(don't let their partners see it) and give one key to the oldest lady there.(Aunt Sally).
In your speech you say that since they are now married its only fair that any man in attendance that has a key to the Brides bedroom they should put her bedroom key into the ashtray in front of you as she is now committed to her new husband.
Slowly, one by one, all they guys come up and throw back the bedroom keys in front of the couple.(their partners will get a laugh too).

Next you say that since it's only fair that you did it for the bride that you should do it for the Groom.So ask is there any ladies with a key to the Grooms bedroom to hand it back.Up comes Aunt Sally and gives him a big kiss on the lips.
You could also add a bit more when the laughter has died down,you turn and apologise to the Bride and say there's one more key to his bedroom and you throw in yours.
The above scenario works a treat and has everybody talking about it after the speeches.
It worked a treat for me.
If you're stuck then give it a shot as its easy to set up.

Good luck anyway and most of all enjoy the day as its a great privilege.


Also,there are three rings to any marriage...The engagement ring,the wedding ring and the suffering.
[Edited 10/14/09 14:06pm]
[Edited 10/14/09 14:07pm]

It isn't often that a man finds that one special woman who can more slowly and painfully destroy his life, and committing to such a relationship is worthy of notability. The sanctity of marriage and the 49% of couples who maintain their marriages despite slip ups with infidelity is a long standing tradition that we must all rejoice in.





hope that helps.

C:\Otaassk~.exe




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vivid is my new boo!

Your only duty is to embarrass the groom.

There were really only two ways for me to go with this. It was either write down some really heartfelt sentiments on paper, or get drunk and wing it.

Guess what I did?

Roast him !! tear him down Jeff Ross style !!

Don't cover things like hobbies. It's not the Dating Game or Match.com. Bring up a fun memory of you and the groom, then one of you, him and the bride, then wish them well.

or lie.

Speech taking shape. Where are you missmad? You have mail!!

soulyacolia said:

Speech taking shape. Where are you missmad? You have mail!!

mcmeekle said:

soulyacolia said:

Speech taking shape. Where are you missmad? You have mail!!

You will post it here when you're finished, right?

This one is easy mate

Just mention how understanding the bride has been with her devotion to him staying with him through his sporadic attacks of syphilis!

And how he thought salmon handcuffs were a starter on the reception menu

This might also be a good time to reveal that he has been battling with his identity after experimenting with same sex relationships and that this has now been resolved and that he is now bisexual!

Hope that helps mate

I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality