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Printablemeow85 said: I'm sorry, guys. But I don't take all that well to being told that I either don't exist or that I'm greedy or that I'm trying to be trendy or that I'm hiding full homosexuality. And I don't take it well hearing the same said about any of my bi folk -female AND male.
We exist, we're real, and we happen in both genders. End of story.  But you're female, right? I think it's interesting that -- even on the Org -- most are posting that they regard self-described male bisexuals with skepticism. I do, too, and have friends who probably would identify themselves as such. Is it that -- in the same way gender roles are often different in society -- the perception of male sexuality is held by society to be less flexible? This isn't news, I know: Someone else has already touched upon the temporary experimenting college lesbians who find their ways back to dudes. But is the meaning taken from that then that society as a whole makes it easier for such behavior in women but holds men to a much stricter classification of sexuality? And, if true, would that be caused by a more fundamental (self-)identification as a patriarchal society? | |
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ThreadBare said: meow85 said: I'm sorry, guys. But I don't take all that well to being told that I either don't exist or that I'm greedy or that I'm trying to be trendy or that I'm hiding full homosexuality. And I don't take it well hearing the same said about any of my bi folk -female AND male.
We exist, we're real, and we happen in both genders. End of story. But you're female, right? I think it's interesting that -- even on the Org -- most are posting that they regard self-described male bisexuals with skepticism. I do, too, and have friends who probably would identify themselves as such. Is it that -- in the same way gender roles are often different in society -- the perception of male sexuality is held by society to be less flexible? This isn't news, I know: Someone else has already touched upon the temporary experimenting college lesbians who find their ways back to dudes. But is the meaning taken from that then that society as a whole makes it easier for such behavior in women but holds men to a much stricter classification of sexuality? And, if true, would that be caused by a more fundamental (self-)identification as a patriarchal society? i think male sexuality is a bit more fixed and female fluid. You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
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ehuffnsd said: ThreadBare said: But you're female, right? I think it's interesting that -- even on the Org -- most are posting that they regard self-described male bisexuals with skepticism. I do, too, and have friends who probably would identify themselves as such. Is it that -- in the same way gender roles are often different in society -- the perception of male sexuality is held by society to be less flexible? This isn't news, I know: Someone else has already touched upon the temporary experimenting college lesbians who find their ways back to dudes. But is the meaning taken from that then that society as a whole makes it easier for such behavior in women but holds men to a much stricter classification of sexuality? And, if true, would that be caused by a more fundamental (self-)identification as a patriarchal society? i think male sexuality is a bit more fixed and female fluid. In fact and reality or in perception? | |
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ehuffnsd said: ThreadBare said: But you're female, right? I think it's interesting that -- even on the Org -- most are posting that they regard self-described male bisexuals with skepticism. I do, too, and have friends who probably would identify themselves as such. Is it that -- in the same way gender roles are often different in society -- the perception of male sexuality is held by society to be less flexible? This isn't news, I know: Someone else has already touched upon the temporary experimenting college lesbians who find their ways back to dudes. But is the meaning taken from that then that society as a whole makes it easier for such behavior in women but holds men to a much stricter classification of sexuality? And, if true, would that be caused by a more fundamental (self-)identification as a patriarchal society? i think male sexuality is a bit more fixed and female fluid. Even in the gay community. The Most Important Thing In Life Is Sincerity....Once You Can Fake That, You Can Fake Anything. |
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ThreadBare said: ehuffnsd said: i think male sexuality is a bit more fixed and female fluid. In fact and reality or in perception? i think. i believe. not stating as a fact. You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
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lazycrockett said: ehuffnsd said: i think male sexuality is a bit more fixed and female fluid. Even in the gay community. sexuality yes gender no You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
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while on the subject of bisexuality.
does anyone feel that asexuality is a myth. personally. i feel that sexuality come in fluids..sometimes yes and sometimes no..and that people are just sexual by nature. personally also i would not fall in love with my partner genitals..i would fall in love with my partner. [Edited 6/20/09 19:46pm] | |
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baroque said: while on the subject of bisexuality.
does anyone feel that asexuality is a myth. personally. i feel that sexuality come in fluids..sometimes yes and sometimes no..and that people are just sexual by nature. personally also i would not fall in love with my partner genitals..i would fall in love with my partner. [Edited 6/20/09 19:46pm] i've met a few people that have no sexual desire. You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
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ehuffnsd said: baroque said: while on the subject of bisexuality.
does anyone feel that asexuality is a myth. personally. i feel that sexuality come in fluids..sometimes yes and sometimes no..and that people are just sexual by nature. personally also i would not fall in love with my partner genitals..i would fall in love with my partner. [Edited 6/20/09 19:46pm] i've met a few people that have no sexual desire. the idea of asexuality fascinates me. personally, i don't see my self as an asexual. i have of course have periods of times..in which sexuality is not to be desired..but yeah the topic of sexuality is very interesting. | |
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CarrieMpls said: When it comes to sexuality, I'd like to default at taking people for their word. And usually I do, or I try to at least. Who am I to say for anyone else?
But as someone once said, all the girls and guys who claim to be bi in college eventually end up with men. So it becomes difficult to take completely seriously. And I think Imago's correct in that there's an inherent "mistrust" in men in particular who claim to be bisexual. It's usually just the last stop on the way to gaytown. Bi people frequently end up in opposite-sex relationships because it's SO MUCH EASIER. It's easier to get into them (because heterosexuals are so much more common than homosexuals, and because it's easier to hit on people with the presumption of straightness), and easier to be in them (because of the lack of bigotry). Bi people also face a fair amount of pushback from other queers (eg. gay men think bi men are liars just as much as everybody else seems to, and lesbians often think bi girls are traitors or some such thing), so that it's easier to hang out with people who share your het half than your bi half. I mostly date fellow bisexuals. I find that straight men can't grasp the reality of my faggotry (even if they think it's hot  ), and lesbians think my fondness for dick is, to quote my ex-girlfriend, "gross". With bi folks, it's just not an issue.
And bisexual men absolutely exist. I've known (and dated) several of them. Most of them mostly date women, for the reasons mentioned above. They have a harder time of it being out than bisexual women do, I think. But they're among us.  "What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?" | |
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I'll tell you, there is something extremely peculiar about identifying as queer, walking around with a man I'm dating who also identifies as bi or queer, and being universally perceived as straight people.
I've been in serious relationships with five guys. All have been presumed to be straight while they were with me. Two actually identified that way, and one of those wasn't SO straight that I didn't watch him suck cock a couple of times. :p Assumptions, assumptions. . . "What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?" | |
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Oh, and one thought on the study itself:
In my experience, bisexual people are more likely to be attracted to the unconventionally attractive. Ie. whatever the researchers were putting up as the potentially arousing material may not have been their thing (I, for one, can promise you that, if you put up images of what your average straight guy is supposed to find attractive, it would do nothing for me. . . but there are plenty of girls I'm hot for, I promise  ). I don't know WHY, but that has been true of many of the bi folks I've known. Also, many people watch porn that isn't directly related to their real-life preferences. Alllsooo, I've known bi people to say that they're more sexually attracted to one gender, but more likely to fall in love with the other.
Point being, it ain't that simple. Give people a binary choice when it comes to sexuality and gender, and you will get fucked up results. For many of us, hot lies in the shades of gray. Kthx. [Edited 6/20/09 22:31pm] "What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?" | |
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tackam said: I'll tell you, there is something extremely peculiar about identifying as queer, walking around with a man I'm dating who also identifies as bi or queer, and being universally perceived as straight people.
I've been in serious relationships with five guys. All have been presumed to be straight while they were with me. Two actually identified that way, and one of those wasn't SO straight that I didn't watch him suck cock a couple of times. :p Assumptions, assumptions. . . I agree with everything you've posted so far on this thread. It's just much easier with a girl, on many levels, and the sex is easier to workout too I have no clue where gay men get off on saying they know how to please another man better than women, cause women are pretty damned good at it.
One scenario that I am always always finding myself in is that I'm automatically presumed to be completely 'straight' not based on who I am with, but based on my mannerisms and/or personal interests. You will never find me getting excited and waking up at the buttcrack of dawn to go buy Madonna tickets (yes, I know I'm stereo typing, but trust me....it comes from someplace very very real and true ).
So I find myself, being automatically assumed to be completely straight, and then the next thing I know , I get to be made privy to homophobic jokes and such nonsense. One would expect me to turn into a total ass and confront the person telling the jokes, but sometimes cowardice, or selectively figuring out the odds of the outcome of the conflict, just makes me pretend I found the joke 'awkward' and move on. I also felt completely out of place around my gay friends. I just can't related to them. It's so much easier to relate to straight men and straight women. The issue is admitting anything to straight women, as I said before, is a sure formula for blue balls. | |
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tackam said: Oh, and one thought on the study itself:
In my experience, bisexual people are more likely to be attracted to the unconventionally attractive. Ie. whatever the researchers were putting up as the potentially arousing material may not have been their thing (I, for one, can promise you that, if you put up images of what your average straight guy is supposed to find attractive, it would do nothing for me. . . but there are plenty of girls I'm hot for, I promise ). I don't know WHY, but that has been true of many of the bi folks I've known. Also, many people watch porn that isn't directly related to their real-life preferences. Alllsooo, I've known bi people to say that they're more sexually attracted to one gender, but more likely to fall in love with the other.
Point being, it ain't that simple. Give people a binary choice when it comes to sexuality and gender, and you will get fucked up results. For many of us, hot lies in the shades of gray. Kthx. [Edited 6/20/09 22:31pm] Again, I agree with this completely. People are shocked to find out I don't particularly care for penises. 
But love a sweet man with nice personality and tight ass. As a matter of fact I find straight guys grossed out by gay men or gay men being horrified at the thought of having sex with women ...well, I find that just plain odd if you ask me.  | |
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tackam said: lesbians often think bi girls are traitors or some such thing
I've never understood that  Facebook, I haz it - https://www.facebook.com/Nikster1969
Yer booteh maeks meh moodeh Differing opinions do not equal "hate" | |
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Nikademus said: tackam said: lesbians often think bi girls are traitors or some such thing
I've never understood that my lady has told me she was seen as the traitor/phony whens she first got with me | |
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SirPsycho said: Nikademus said: I've never understood that my lady has told me she was seen as the traitor/phony whens she first got with me That's just weird. If I was dating a bi-woman, and then later after we broke up she started seeing a dude, it wouldn't bother me at all. I mean...duh...she's bi, and that'll happen
. [Edited 6/21/09 4:07am] Facebook, I haz it - https://www.facebook.com/Nikster1969
Yer booteh maeks meh moodeh Differing opinions do not equal "hate" | |
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lazycrockett said: The only bisexuals I know would be better termed sluts than bisexual.
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U 'gon make me shake my doo loose! http://www.twitter.com/nivlekbrad | |
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Imago said: I agree the vast majority of bis are really gay.
Almost every guy I've been with claimed to be bi, but was gay. I've known 2 other true bi's, and one of them I've never seen fool around with another guy, while the other came on to me---I'm not attracted to bi guys for some reason.
I've always had a sneaking suspicion in me that a lot of gay men are curious about women though, and just won't admit it. So I may be way off base. Aren't you bi? | |
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Christopher said: Imago said: Since when is it easier to be bi-sexual than gay?
Women do not believe in bi-sexual men by in large, so a girl will automatically write you off if you claim to be. She assumes you're gay and going through some kind of self-acceptance stage. She automatically distrusts you. is what i always say boo     | |
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tackam said: Also, many people watch porn that isn't directly related to their real-life preferences.
For real, I might have thrown off this study | |
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Cinnie said: Imago said: I agree the vast majority of bis are really gay.
Almost every guy I've been with claimed to be bi, but was gay. I've known 2 other true bi's, and one of them I've never seen fool around with another guy, while the other came on to me---I'm not attracted to bi guys for some reason.
I've always had a sneaking suspicion in me that a lot of gay men are curious about women though, and just won't admit it. So I may be way off base. Aren't you bi?For lack of a better label, yes. And I need to correct myself: I've only known 2 other male bi's. I've known at least 10 female bis, though they all ended up with men. | |
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Imago said: Cinnie said: Aren't you bi?For lack of a better label, yes. And I need to correct myself: I've only known 2 other male bi's. I've known at least 10 female bis, though they all ended up with men. I kinda wanted to grill you like MsMisha (hayy girl) about why you aren't attracted to male bi's when you (basically) are one? That is, if you know why... perhaps based on those 2 experiences. | |
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Cinnie said: tackam said: Also, many people watch porn that isn't directly related to their real-life preferences.
For real, I might have thrown off this study Cosign on that. | |
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Vendetta1 said: How about people are whatever they claim to be? I can't believe the money wasted to study this type of shit.
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Cinnie said: Imago said: For lack of a better label, yes. And I need to correct myself: I've only known 2 other male bi's. I've known at least 10 female bis, though they all ended up with men. I kinda wanted to grill you like MsMisha (hayy girl) about why you aren't attracted to male bi's when you (basically) are one? That is, if you know why... perhaps based on those 2 experiences. In general I dislike alpha-males. Both male 'bi's' I've known were alpha males. Although my experience with bi men is very limited cause I don't know that many, it left me with a sense that: 1) They're very self-centered 2) They're very intelligent, but do stupid things anyway 3) They completely do not identify with the gay community. They like gays, they like gay bars, but these guys are very straight in the way they live their lives 4) They exhibited all the qualities of an alphamale except maybe an unnatural attachment to sports.
These are all gross stereotypes I have based only only 2 experiences, and both my bi-friends were/are very good looking. The guy 'Blake' from my facebook that Anxiety and Muse are always joking with would have been the 3rd 'bi', but I have reason to suspect he may just be straight. He told me he was bi, and was very explicit about his attraction towards Chris Cornnell, but in the 13 years I've known him, he slept with multiple girls and no men. He's not typical. Although I've known 2 bis, I've known at least 5 or 6 guys who claimed to be 'bi', but I'm 100% sure they're really gay. I don't bother to challenge them as what you view yourself as is your business, and I find those types of gay men very charming. Actually, I find all gay men in general charming. Your like big nympho girls with no clue how to hold down relationships, generally--it's cute.
Anyways, I'm not attracted to bi men. I will NEVER say NEVER, as at one time I would have never attempted a relationship with a gay man, but once I find out a guy labels himself 'bi', I normally view them as 'brothers'. This doesn't mean I don't find them wildly attractive or magnetic (bi's often are), but I just don't have any fantasies about something more happening. The SHORT answer to your question is that I grew up relatively repressed, with a certain amount of self-shame and loathing to cause me to not be 100% comfortable with my sexuality in all it's forms (I don't even talk about my straight partners with my family), and this causes me to be promiscuous and on the downlow all the time. I'm fucked up. | |
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Imago said: In general I dislike alpha-males. Both male 'bi's' I've known were alpha males.
That actually makes perfect sense, and the real bi men I met were alpha males too. | |
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Imago said: Although my experience with bi men is very limited cause I don't know that many, it left me with a sense that:
1) They're very self-centered 2) They're very intelligent, but do stupid things anyway 3) They completely do not identify with the gay community. They like gays, they like gay bars, but these guys are very straight in the way they live their lives 4) They exhibited all the qualities of an alphamale except maybe an unnatural attachment to sports. The bi men I knew matched that except for #4, they were also athletes. | |
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Imago said: These are all gross stereotypes I have based only only 2 experiences, and both my bi-friends were/are very good looking. The guy 'Blake' from my facebook that Anxiety and Muse are always joking with would have been the 3rd 'bi', but I have reason to suspect he may just be straight. He told me he was bi, and was very explicit about his attraction towards Chris Cornnell, but in the 13 years I've known him, he slept with multiple girls and no men.
omg I  Blake
I wanted to add him just to oogle him  | |
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Imago said: He's not typical. Although I've known 2 bis, I've known at least 5 or 6 guys who claimed to be 'bi', but I'm 100% sure they're really gay. I don't bother to challenge them as what you view yourself as is your business, and I find those types of gay men very charming. Actually, I find all gay men in general charming. Your like big nympho girls with no clue how to hold down relationships, generally--it's cute.
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